Part 20

It's amazing how love can cause a person to push aside their own needs or beliefs in place of their loved ones... Initially when Fitz had told Liv that he planned to divorce Mellie, she was more concerned about him losing contact with his children, opposed to the security she would gain from Fitz no longer being married. When he told her that he would step down from running for governor, to escape the public eye and their scrutiny; all Liv could feel was guilt over him ending his political career for her. But similarly to her, Fitz cared more about her welfare than his own, as long as she was safe and happy, and they could be together it was all that mattered. He was already making plans to buy a house far away from here… Growing up, he had always had his heart set on living in a grand estate, out in the remote woodlands of Vermont, and maybe it was time to share that dream with Liv. Vermont also happened to be one of the few states that no anti-miscegenation laws had been passed; therefore if Liv would have him, which he hoped she would one day, they could legally wed in Vermont and live out the rest of their days with peace of mind and heart. He had it all figured out; he just needed to put his plan into motion, starting with Mellie and filling for divorce.

On the subject of sacrifice, Liv felt she had to make her own personal tribute to the cause. And if that came in the form of tampering with her womanly processes; something that she had a number of reservations about, then so be it. Because the more she thought about it, the more she realised that an unplanned pregnancy would only jeopardise their current status. For one; interracial relationships in Washington DC was still heavily frowned upon; the State of Maryland and Virginia had only just overturned the anti-miscegenation law, therefore Fitz getting a black woman pregnant whilst still being married to his wife, would only make divorce proceedings that bit harder and messier to contend with, and more importantly he could stand to lose everything. She couldn't afford that, so action had to be taken and fast, especially when she considered that they had been sailing pretty close to the wind on that front already, with a number of impromptu moments being shared.

Unlike Liv however, when it came to such matters, Abby was all for the "open book" policy, and therefore it didn't take long before Liv discovered that Abby took birth control pills. She had come across them one morning in the bathroom, when Abby had forgotten to pick them up. She was shocked at first; she had never known anyone that would take such prophylactics, although with Abby's stance on sexual liberation, in hindsight it made perfect sense for her to take the necessary precautions. Therefore out of all the people she could turn to for advice, Liv knew that she could speak to Abby in confidence and without the fear of judgement.

"It's a big decision Liv, are you sure about this?"

She leans back against the sofa, cradling her hot cocoa in her hand. "I suppose so, I think it's for the best don't you- just to be safe?"

"Have you discussed this with the guy that you're… well you know, sleeping with."

"No, not yet- but I will."

Abby sighs, "Liv, you do realise that the pill is not 100% guaranteed to prevent pregnancy, right? And that condoms should and must be used in conjunction with pill…"

"Of course… sure, I realise that… and we have been using condoms…"

"All the time?" Abby challenges.

"Majority of it…" Liv trails off guiltily, barely able to look Abby in the eye in light of their obvious carelessness.

Stern-faced. "But not always?! Seriously Liv, he's a married man, you can't afford to take these risks… for all you know you could already be pregnant!"

In sheer denial… "No, I don't think so, I can't be…"

Abby can't believe her friend's naivety… "Well, I suppose you'll find out soon enough, because your doctor will not prescribe you the pill until they run a pregnancy test first…"

Liv gulps… "Wwwh…what?"

"Yes Liv, no doctor will give you the pill if you're already pregnant…" Her face immediately softens in response to the absolute look of panic on her friend''s face. Abby reaches over and squeezes her hand… "Hey now, there's no point in worrying just yet, what's done is done, and if you're not pregnant then you will make sure to keep safe from now on, right?"

In almost slow motion Liv nods her head in accord; although clearly struggling to process it all.

Noting a chink in her armour, Abby decides now is the best time to ask her… "Liv, are you certain that this guy, is worth all this head ache, I mean, you're young, you're beautiful, you could find someone else, someone with less baggage and drama perhaps?"

"I wish it were that easy, but it's not Abby… besides- he has no intention of letting me go, and honestly I don't want him to either…"

"He loves you, he must… because he's sacrificing a hell of a lot to be with you Liv…" Abby tells her, all too knowingly.

"He is, but so am I…" Liv answers her cagily, not willing to say anything else, worried that maybe she has given too much away already...

"Liv, I hold you dear as a close friend, and I want you to know that no matter what happens I'm here for you…okay?"

"Okay..."

She senses there's more.

Abby takes a deep breath, and gently squeezes Liv's hand again. "There's something I want to ask you, and I hope you'll be honest with me when I do… Just like I trust you with my many indiscretions."

"What is it you want to ask?" Liv asks with trepidation, because in that very moment she realises that Abby has figured it out.

"Are you sleeping with Fitz?"

She pauses, visibly trembling... "Abby please..." she eventually voices in fear.

And it's all the confirmation she needs. "You are aren't you? It's okay Liv, I know you're scared, but I won't tell anyone- I promise, you can trust me..."

Liv turns away trying to avoid her, but there was no use... she'd been caught out, and no amount of denying it would convince her otherwise.

"Liv... please, look at me."

She has no choice but to trust her now... "Abby, I beg of you, please... you can't say a word."