Chapter Two-The Spaghetti Incident
Simon knew it would happen one day. He had just hoped it would be at a time when he could run away really quickly and not be at a time when there was absolutely no way he could escape. Clary had run away with Jace on a 'shopping trip' for weapons and stuff, while Alec had left a while ago with a mumble and something about visiting the clave. Yeah right. Simon knew they were all wimps, but then again, he was contemplating escape already.
Isabelle in an apron was quite a cute sight until you realised she was actually going to cook a meal for everyone who turned up. So, Simon. If Izzy had not been a Shadowhunter, he would have tried to persuade her with every fibre of his being that she should not cook. Especially not something as delicious as spaghetti and lasagne. Even Church had abandoned the kitchen! This was not going to go well. But, of course he couldn't say anything because she was Isabelle Lightwood. And Simon didn't exactly have a death wish.
"So, do you think this needs more salt, or more pepper?" Izzy asked him and he snapped back to the present. She was looming over a bowl of spaghetti that was boiling over and she had a little rune on her hand to make the whole thing go quicker. He wished he hadn't been at the Institute. Why did he ever turn down the chance to go listen to Eric's poetry? Oh that's right; Eric's poetry was crap. And also painful. Izzy stared at him for a little, rolling her eyes when he didn't respond. He thought back to when he had first met her when she had been attempting to cook and Jace had told everyone to abandon the kitchen in favour of Chinese. Sadly, he had been right.
"Um...uh..." he stuttered finally regaining the power of speech, knowing he would have to taste it. Why did he have to have heightened senses? The spoon filled with normal spaghetti filled with doom came closer towards him. He gulped. This was his duty as a boyfriend to taste her spaghetti. He could do this. It came closer. Slow motion came into the equation. She just looked at him as he stuttered, annoyed as he finally found his words. "Sure, I'll taste it!" He slapped himself mentally; why did he have to sound so perky in the face of death?
Simon took the spoon and looked at it distrustfully. It looked alright! But, it was what was inside that mattered. He could imagine Clary laughing at him right now. He could imagine Raphael looking at him with disdain, telling him he could have been at the Hotel Dumort by now and not have to deal with stuff like this. But, he shoved those voices to the back of his brain, as they wouldn't exactly help him get out of this mess. Nothing could help him now.
Before he could think up any more stupid thoughts and make Izzy even more angry, he shoved the spaghetti in his mouth. And immediately nearly passed out. Had her cooking got even worse? Was that even possible? Unfortunately for him, his vampire mojo meant he didn't pass out and instead smiled shakily at Isabelle. "Well? What does it need? Is it good? Do I need to add anything more?" she asked, smiling a little. He thought for a minute and prepared himself for execution.
"Maybe...add a bit more of anything in here you can get your hands on? Perhaps some fast food instead?"
"Simon!"
Back to the present.
Jace:...Yeah, it's not as bad as everyone thought.
Simon: You guys didn't nearly die!
Isabelle: You didn't die Simon.
Simon: Nearly!
Clary: Why don't you write some more stories, Izzle?
Me: Oh, I have. It just isn't as great as this.
Tessa: Aww, that's probably not true.
Will: Probably.
Magnus: It probably is as bad as you said it is.
Alec: Magnus!
Magnus: What?
Raphael: I'm sure they're fine. Anyway, we don't care about your stories. We care about this story right now.
Lula: Well, that's a bit insulting isn't it?
Julian: Hey did we miss anything?
Me: Where were you?
Emma: We were bored and then Julian got a text from Ty about something happening to Tavvy—
Julian: It's OK though, they didn't get hurt it's just—
Emma: He gets slightly paranoid that they'll die while we're gone.
Lula: Why don't we just get them on the show—
Julian: I refuse to let my family make a fool of themselves on a TV show.
Emma: I think Ty would enjoy it.
Julian: He probably would.
Lula to Me: Isn't it awesome how they finish each other's sentences?
Me: Yeah, awesome and all that—
Emma: And Lady Midnight is out now so it's all good.
Me: You know what I want?
Magnus: What?
Me: I want a show with the Lady Midnight characters. I mean, I dedicated more than twenty chapters to you guys. I think it's their turn.
Jace: …so?
Me: So, you guys have gotta leave. We're going to talk to the others.
Lula: How do you think Mark is going to do?
Julian: Mark can't even speak properly, how is he going to be on national television?
Raphael: I would not call this 'National Television', more like an insignificant story that won't affect anything.
Silence.
Me: Um…thanks for that Raphael.
Raphael smirks: You're most welcome
Me: I'm not sure whether anyone actually cares about this show anymore
All: Why's that then?
Me: Cause I've been gone for over a year. I missed the Valentine episode and the summer episode too.
Jace: Wow, Izzle, you're such a jerk.
Me: I know Jace, I know I am.
Magnus: It's OK. We're all just figments of your imagination anyway.
Silence.
Me: Whoa, OK, that was a bit deep there Magnus. None of us needed that.
Simon:...Well, I thought the spaghetti was funny.
Izzy: We know, Si.
Clary: Well, if you have any more of those stories you should tell more of them!
Me: Ooh, I have this great one with a fridge!
Alec: Oh great, this is the worst one you could have thought of, of course.
Emma: Is she better now?
Lula: I think so, she's telling Magnus about how funny it is to be able to tell him what to do.
Julian: She's OK.
Will: Can we get on with this now? I've been put on hiatus for over a year!
Tessa: Imagine that. A year without Will talking.
Lula: She's talked about him anyway.
Me: You bet I have!
Jem: I was enjoying the break actually.
Me: I'm going to tell the story now.
'Cue glorious ad break'
Hey guys, it's been a year, um where have I gone? I had a really long date with my mortal enemy Revison and I'm so sorry and please don't hurt me! Maybe I'm back and I hope so but for now, here's this and I might just put the fridge story down for a laugh,
Humbly sorry, Izzle
