Hey everybody! Once again, and especially thanks to the 3 lucky readers who reviewed, I give you a new chapter! And here's to hoping you enjoy the Hell out of it (not to mention read and review)! ^_^ That being said, in this chapter, Raven arrives in Beast Boy's room, more than willing to do whatever necessary to make up for being the one responsible for sending him to cower there in tears in the first place. But just how much will she find herself to have unwittingly signed up for? And for that matter, just what else could Beast Boy have to unload? Or more accurately, how much does he have to unload? And to further add on, will Raven's efforts in the end prove successful? Let's find out shall we?
A/N: But first, I shall remind you all once more that I do not own Teen Titans (or anything else DC or similarly copyrighted and owned by legal high powers). Now with that out of the way, onward with the fic! :)
Chapter 5:
The Lonely Beast
Raven burst into Beast Boy's room, the automatic door just barely having enough time to slide out of the way completely in time to avoid getting smashed, and she came to a hovering stop in the very center of the impossibly messy room before then softly landing on her feet. She looked around the room desperately, panting and gasping in both exhaustion and fear as she continued to see absolutely no sign of the green shape shifter anywhere in the room. She couldn't even detect any emotional output.
"Beast Boy?" she asked quietly. "Beast Boy?" She turned her head left and right, looking from his bunk bed to his closet, still not seeing any sign of him. "Where are you?"
There was no response. Now Raven found herself visibly sweating and nervous. Miraculously, her powers didn't act up in the slightest. "Where are you?" she asked nervously, now starting to get extra nervous about what may or may not have perhaps befallen the changeling. "Where are you Beast Boy? Where are you?" There was still no answer. "Say something Beast Boy! Please say something!" There was still no response. "Say something Beast Boy! Anything!"
She heard a low gurgling rumble coming from her right, and then she abruptly detected a flare of surprise, which then turned to fear, on her empathic radar before it then seemed to shrink and cower back behind an emotional wall. Raven let a small relieved smile come on her face with a slight gasp. Beast Boy was indeed present, and now she could easily find him now that she knew exactly what to look for. Beast Boy had once again put up high emotional guard. But this time it was purely a conscious effort and in no danger of inflicting mass psychological harm on him, and she could still detect tiny bits of emotion from him now that she knew where and what to look for. She turned her head to face Beast Boy's bunk bed once more. She raised her eyebrow. But even so, where was he? Then she thought to herself, and looked down towards the floor the bed was standing on, and detected a tiny sprinkling of fear. While saddened that the emotion she was detecting was fear, she also felt glad to have sensed the emotion. Because now she had an idea where Beast Boy was. She walked over to the bed, got down on her hands and knees, and looked under the bottom bunk. "Beast Boy? Are you down there?"
. . . . .
Beast Boy was huddled and curled up under the bottom bunk of his bed, quivering and trembling and whimpering from the ordeal he'd gone through not too long ago. "Just stay calm," he thought to himself, even though he was currently feeling anything but calm. "Everything will be ok; at some point anyway. Things will get better. They always do."
He curled himself up further to the point that his back was slightly arched and very nearly pressing against the bottom of the bed. "All I have to do now is just stay here for a little while," he thought to himself. "Then, all the bad stuff will go away, and it will be safe for me to come out. That's the way this kind of situation always worked for me in the past." And indeed that had proven very true . . . far more true than him or any other child should have ever had to know. "Just take it easy," he thought to himself. "Everything . . . will be fine."
He then directed his attention towards a small box located not too far from one of the legs of the bunk bed. His eyes took on a very clear look of sentimentality and sadness. He knew very well what was in this box, and it was something very important to him. So important in fact, that with every single rare moment in which he'd taken it out, he always made sure to put it back in the exact same spot all the time. And to further cement how important it was to him, he always made sure that no matter how messy his room got, he was always able to find it. "Maybe today would be a good time to take another look at it," he then thought to himself.
He heard the sound of the door to his room opening, and his ears went up, eyes widening as he realized that someone had now come into his room. He directed his eyes towards the direction of his door just in time to see it close, and he then heard what sounded like something swooping away from it. Then his heart slithered up into his throat at the sight of two feet encased in a pair of very familiar blue slip on shoes come to a soft landing on the floor to his right on the outside of his hiding place. "Oh no," he thought to himself as he quietly worked to slide his way closer towards the small wall portion to his left in an effort to put even more distance between him and the person that he knew was the one wearing those familiar shoes and inside his room. And at the same time he moved towards that wall on his left, he also moved backwards diagonally towards one of the bed legs located behind him against a corner of that same wall. "Good God come on, hasn't she put me through enough today?"
For what seemed like an eternity, absolute silence filled the air. Beast Boy didn't dare to move, speak, or even so much as breath. And at the same time, he also consciously worked to set up as strong of a guard around his emotions as he possibly could. He was that afraid of seeing Raven now in his room with him after having been responsible for scaring him into hiding and cowering there in fear of her in the first place. Raven also said nothing. Then he heard Raven softly say, "Beast Boy?" Her tone sounded concerned enough, but Beast Boy wasn't about to trust her and her potential intentions just yet, not on his life. "Beast Boy?" he heard Raven say again, still sounding just as concerned as before. "Where are you?"
Beast Boy still didn't respond, though he did silently work to curl himself up to the point that it was almost as if he were in a position reminiscent of a cowering puppy (albeit, while still in human form). "No," he thought to himself. "I'm not going to let her know I'm here. Not yet. Not until I'm absolutely certain that it will be safe."
He saw Raven's feet and legs moving around in a way that hinted to her being seemingly quite nervous and distressed. Beast Boy felt somewhat tempted now to perhaps just maybe make some sort of noise, but at the same time he was still cautious. After all, Raven's powers usually tended to act up in some way when she was feeling a particularly strong emotion, and nothing of the sort seemed to have happened. Of course, Raven's powers very rarely ever acted up like they used to anymore ever since the experiences with Trigon two years ago. But even so, considering what had just happened not too long ago to send him cowering into his room in the first place, it was better to be safe than sorry.
"Where are you?" he heard Raven ask in a tone that very clearly sounded nervous. At the sound of this, Beast Boy found himself struggling extra hard to make a decision on what to do. For all he knew, she could very well indeed be genuinely worried and concerned and as nervous as she sounded. But at the same time, what if she was still in a dangerous mood and at risk of causing him further reason to be scared and potentially harmed? He felt his face fall in a mixture of worry, guilt, and fear. What was he going to do?
"Where are you Beast Boy?" Raven asked. "Where are you?"
Beast Boy closed his eyes and hung his head. He had no idea what to do.
"Say something Beast Boy!" Raven shouted in a very distressed, frantic, and concerned sounding tone. "Please say something!"
Beast Boy mentally grimaced, cursing him for his current bout of fear-induced indecision. "What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?" he thought to himself, terrified that he'd potentially be putting himself at risk of further harm and terror, yet at the same time feeling an instinctive need to allay Raven's apparent concerns and let his friend know he was indeed alright and that she didn't have to worry.
"Say something Beast Boy!" Raven yelled, her voice clearly sounding quite distressed and alarmed, and almost begging. "Anything!"
Beast Boy's stomach grumbled. His eyes widened and his ears stood on end, shocked at the unexpected development. Then time restarted for him, and his shock turned to fear. "Oh no," he thought to himself, instinctively tensing himself up once more with a nervous look back on his face. "She definitely heard that," he thought to himself. Then he mentally face palmed. "And she probably managed to catch me on her emotional radar just now to," he mentally groaned. He hurriedly worked to try to worm his guard back up, desperate to stay hidden.
From what he could see of Raven, she had clearly both heard his rumbling stomach and detected his brief flares of emotion. Further confirmation was received when he heard her give off what sounded like a relieved gasp. And then yet more confirmation was received when he saw her feet move in a way that clearly showed her turning around to face his bed and start moving towards it. His face fell at the sight of Raven's feet moving towards his hiding place. "On no, oh no, oh no," he thought to himself. "Oh boy, this had better not end badly. Please God, don't let this get worse."
Raven's feet came to a stop, and the sorceress appeared to briefly stand still. Then he saw her legs move to the point that her knees came into view and came to a soft landing on the floor. Then he saw her hands, wrists, and upper forearms come into view with her palms coming to the point of touching the floor. Then she lowered her face and head down to look under the bottom bunk.
In that instant, Beast Boy very noticeably tensed and cringed at the sight, his eyes widened in terror and his teeth gritted in despair. For just the briefest (though to Beast Boy it seemed impossibly long) of moments, the face he saw looking under the bed trying to find him was not the familiar face of his gray skinned Azarathian sorceress friend. In that brief instant, Beast Boy's mind saw the face of a nightmarishly familiar face from his past of an adult man with fair skin, messy black hair, icy blue eyes, and an unnervingly malicious and maniacal grin. Then he blinked, and the terrifying visage was instantly replaced by the familiar gray, purple eyed, and quite genuinely concerned face of Raven.
"Beast Boy?" Raven asked. "Are you down there?"
Beast Boy very briefly held his breath, and then slowly exhaled. "Yes," he managed to slowly whimper. Raven instantly snapped her head in his direction, her eyes widened in surprise, and Beast Boy snapped his head down to face the floor, shivering in fear. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"
Raven found herself gaping at Beast Boy. "How bad did I affect him?" she thought to herself. She reached her hand out delicately towards the changeling. "Beast Boy?" she asked. "It's ok. You don't have to stay curled up under your bed like this. You can come out. Everything's ok."
Beast Boy lifted his head up to look towards Raven. "You promise?" he whimpered.
Raven nodded. "Promise." She extended her hand further. "Please come out."
Beast Boy looked at Raven's extended hand, then her face, then back at her hand. Then he sighed. "If you say so."
He slowly crawled closer to Raven, who moved backwards out of the way. Then Beast Boy managed to crawl entirely out from under the bed, and then just as slowly straighten back up to full height on his feet. As Beast Boy stood there like that, taking deep breathes, Raven delicately and carefully placed her hand on his shoulder . . . only for the changeling to tense up involuntarily at the touch, his eyes closing and his mouth tightening into a wincing grimace. "Please don't hurt me, please don't hurt me, please don't hurt me," he whimpered in a low squealing childlike voice.
Raven slowly withdrew her hand from Beast Boy's shoulder, her heart sinking and her face clearly showing a mixture of horror, guilt, and sadness at just how low the usually impossibly happy and unflappable Beast Boy had apparently now been reduced to, and through her own actions to boot. "I'm not going to hurt you Beast Boy," Raven said, instinctively reaching her hand back towards Beast Boy.
The changeling reared back, a fearful look on his face as he gazed meaningfully at her hand as if watching to see if any black lightning tendrils appeared on it. Raven mentally winced, slowly withdrew her hand, and then raised both her hands in a placatory gesture. "Honest Beast Boy, I'm not going to hurt you. Not anymore today. Sure I may hit you every now and then in so many heat of the moment incidents, but I'd never just outright hurt you for the fun of it. Not intentionally. Never."
Beast Boy sniffled, and directed his head back towards Raven's face. "Oh really?" he asked, sounding as if nearly in tears from both sadness and fear. "Even though I always annoy you and drive you up the wall? Even though I was acting like such a jerk not too long ago? Even though you only put up with me because you view me as an adequate teammate and nothing more?"
Raven gaped at Beast Boy, completely stunned and taken aback by Beast Boy's last comment. "What?" Raven asked. "Beast Boy, I haven't said anything like that . . ." Her eyes widened, and her mouth closed as she suddenly realized something important. "Not since . . . last . . . Halloween." She directed a stunned, yet also seemingly quite saddened look towards the green shape shifter. "You . . . still . . . remember that argument?"
Beast Boy nodded his head, his facial expression not changing in the slightest. "Mm-hm."
Raven remained gaping in stunned sadness at Beast Boy. Had he really been undergoing the same emotional turmoil she'd only sensed for the first time yesterday for that long?
"And believe me," Beast Boy then continued. "Considering what a good freaking majority of the civilians I overheard last Halloween had to say about me not too long after that argument, what you said to me before we started our watch was the ultimate compliment of kindness in comparison."
Raven was rendered further speechless at the sound of this. "What did they say?" she eventually managed to ask.
Beast Boy scoffed, though the motion seemed more saddened then dismissive. "Need you even ask? Nothing I hadn't heard before."
For another minute or two, Raven and Beast Boy remained standing where they were, somewhat facing in each other's direction. Then Raven carefully stepped forward and placed her hand on Beast Boy's shoulder. This time, Beast Boy thankfully didn't flinch at the contact. "Beast Boy," she said quietly. "Stuff like that? That doesn't mean anything. People who say such things about us? They're just jealous, ungrateful, or the like. Those comments shouldn't get to you like that. None of it's true. You know it's not . . ."
"Yes it is!"
Raven gaped silently at Beast Boy, stunned once more at how he'd just reacted. "What do you mean Beast Boy?" she asked, wanting more than ever to understand why he was so adamant in his apparent depression and to somehow help him bounce back like he always did. "None of that's true. You're not thinking straight. Let me explain. . ."
"No they're right!" Beast Boy howled. "I am a freak!" He yanked his arms upwards towards the ceiling, fingers extended to full length as if he were trying to extend claws. "I am abnormal! And not in an attractive way like Star or any of the other Titans either! I am a freak! I do belong in a zoo! I am an animal! I am a monster! I am an unnatural, ugly, disgusting, twisted, sick, freaking perversion of nature!" He looked directly back at Raven at the exact same time he said the last bit. And in that moment, his facial expression clearly showed that he was only trying to convince himself that he truly believed what he'd said in a desperate effort to make it all the less hurtful to hear and think about, and was even now fighting to keep himself from crying right then and there.
Raven was left even more lost for words then she'd ever been before upon hearing all this from Beast Boy. Clearly his condition had been even worse then she'd thought.
Then Beast Boy gave an almost saddened attempt at a snarl that sounded more like a sniffle, and pointed both of his index fingers at himself. "Look at me! No really! Go ahead! Look at me! Look at me right now, and tell me, to my face, if you truly think that what all those ungrateful punks said about me isn't in the slightest bit true!"
For what seemed like an eternity to both of the chromatically challenged founding Titans, Raven just remained standing where she was, gazing sadly at Beast Boy. She placed her hand on Beast Boy's shoulder once more. "They're lies Beast Boy. All of it."
Beast Boy sighed. "Raven, how can you possibly believe that?"
"How can you, not, possibly believe that?" Raven responded.
"Well that shouldn't be too hard to answer should it?" Beast Boy asked. He gestured all around his body. "I mean look at me! I look like some bizarre combination between a Martian, a vampire, and an elf. And Martians can at least change themselves so that they can blend in and look like they could actually fit in! I can't!"
Raven gaped at Beast Boy once more. What she'd just now heard the changeling was the exact opposite of the kind of things she'd usually hear him say about himself. "That's never bothered you before," she managed to say. "None of it has."
Beast Boy scoffed. "Please," he grumbled weakly. "Do you really think I actually believed any of that stuff I said about being a hit with the ladies or any similar comments? I sure as Hell didn't. And clearly, you guys didn't either. So really, why should I even hope anymore that there was really anyone out there with even half a competent functioning brain that believed any of that drivel?"
Raven's heart sank even further at the sound of these words. "What about the girls you managed to hang out with or at least attempted to attract attention from all those times here in Jump City? Or that crazed horde of fan girls from back in Tokyo?"
Beast Boy snorted in a half saddened and half derisive tone. "Like I said, there's no one out there with even half a competent functioning brain that would have believed any of that BS I spouted or would have actually truly felt for me at all in that kind of way. Fat bunch of airheads the whole lot of them. They wouldn't know real love or a true figure worthy of such love if it bit them on the nose. And I sure as Hell wasn't ever going to get anywhere with any of them. That much I know."
In that instant, Raven wasn't sure anymore whether or not she was truly feeling this massive amount of sadness she currently appeared to be feeling, or whether it was her own sadness mixed in with the equally massive and strong sadness she could detect radiating in impossibly strong and large waves from her green team mate. "Then, why did you even . . ."
"Need you even ask?" Beast Boy responded, clearly knowing what Raven was trying to say. "Sure I never got anywhere, let alone had any real hope of getting anywhere, but it was better to at least try and maybe in the end get at least some tiny form of that kind of positive attention than to just give up, do nothing, accept the unpleasant inevitable, and feel like I never had any meaning in life at all." He then pointed at Raven. "And I sure as Hell wasn't going to admit to you or anyone else being right whenever you and the other detractors disagreed with all that garbage I was spouting. I mean honestly! Would any person in my situation who was still willing to put up a fight ever actually be so dumb as to actually openly admit that they actually agree with the people who supposedly disagree with them and that all the stuff they're trying to prove wrong is actually correct all along?"
Beast Boy sighed, turned away from Raven, and walked on over to his bed, taking a seat on his bottom bunk in the process. Raven continued watching him intently as this happened. Beast Boy placed his gloved hands on his lap, hung his head, closed his eyes, and sighed heavily. "And sure, for a good long time maybe I actually did believe that I'd truly win out over the negativity and make truth out of my own lies. But to put it simply, last Halloween was just one of the final straws that broke this camel's back. It wasn't until that day that I actually heard enough people in agreement against me, starting with you and ending with some random asshat, plus Lord knows how many other nameless and faceless shmucks in between over virtually an entire night with no relief that I truly actually started considering the possibility that maybe I truly was as wrong as I believed." He then lifted his head and looked at Raven once more. "And in the months that have followed, with all the couples that have spouting up among the Titans, and how many members have been lucky enough to find love and left me in the dust, I've decided, it's high time I just finally accept the truth and stop fighting it. Maybe things will just be better anyway if I just admit that I never even believed my own lies and that you and all the others were right all along and that I truly don't have any chance at the happiness, love, and respect that I kept trying to prove I actually deserved. At the very least it probably won't hurt so much anymore if I just accept that it's actually correct."
For yet another brief moment that seemed like an eternity, Raven stared intently at Beast Boy, sadness practically radiating from her face. Then she slowly walked over to where Beast Boy was positioned and took a seat right next to him. "Beast Boy," she managed to say. "None of that stuff you just said is true."
Beast Boy sighed. "Why do you keep doing this to me Raven?" he asked. "Here I am, finally admitting that you were right, and yet you even now still keep playing the Commander Contrarian card on me. Why?"
"Because this time, what I'm saying about you and to you is in fact true," Raven responded. She placed her hand on his shoulder once more. "Just like what I said to you when I had that talk with you that finally got you to come out of your room after the night of Terra's first official betrayal. Just like what I said to you that night out by the shore after your very first experience with the Beast. Just like what I said to you when we had that little talk together after our experiences with that mystery monster and your unpleasant failed efforts with Terra at that stupid high school. I'm telling you the truth." She let a nervous half smile come on her face. "And besides, who's to say there's really that many Titans who've managed to find love before you and that many romantic couples among the team? Aren't there only like 3 confirmed so far?"
Beast Boy sighed, reached under the pillow on his bottom bunk, and drew out what looked like a very thick and heavy scrapbook that he placed unceremoniously, yet gently, onto Raven's lap. "Here's your answer."
Raven was taken aback by this quick response from Beast Boy, but she didn't dare show any visible sign of it. Instead, she proceeded to calmly open the book, her face now blank, stoic, and unreadable. And upon seeing just what the contents of the book actually were, she found herself mentally dropping her jaw as she saw the vast array of evidence and forms of confirmation that Beast Boy had managed to gather in regard to just how apparently a large number of couples had managed to blossom amongst the entire extended Titans team. Among the contents were both notes in Beast Boy's own (and surprisingly quite legible and passable) handwriting, as well as photos of various things ranging from pictures of status updates and the like from the Titans' private social network account all the way to photos of various Titan pairs apparently confirmed as being romantically linked doing all manner of activities, which included kissing in more than photo.
Beast Boy noticed Raven's wide eyed look, and nodded his head. "Yes Raven, I knew about all that. In fact, through the exact same method in which I learned of all these couples, I was already aware of their upcoming visit this week a couple weeks ago. Heck, I'm actually quite surprised that Cyborg's apparently not aware of Bumblebee hooking up with Herald. They usually tell each other everything." He then gestured at a photo on the page Raven was currently on depicting Jericho and Kole sitting together on a beach watching the sunset with their backs turned towards the camera, and with Kole leaning quite comfortably up against Jericho from his left. "And say what you want about just these pictures alone not being enough to justify them as proof as opposed to apparent evidence taken out of context. I've also been able to hear all the couples talking. And confirm their relationships. And that's not even considering the number of photos I have of kisses that I managed to take when they were following me around and thought I wasn't looking."
Raven turned her head to face Beast Boy. "What?" she asked, clearly surprised.
Beast Boy turned his head to face Raven. "You really didn't know?"
Raven shook her head side to side, a stunned speechless look on her face. It didn't take long at all for Beast Boy's instincts to allow him to determine that she was genuinely surprised by this news. "Oh," he managed to say, and he hung his head, clearly having thought that Raven had been aware of that detail. "Well in that case yes, starting about a week after last Halloween, there were quite a large number of Titans that I managed to find following me around and keeping a close eye on me, and they were always travelling in either pairs, or larger groups. But the majority of the groups were duos, and the majority of these duos turned out to be romantic couples."
The changeling hung his head. "And boy was it painful to keep seeing them to. I tried everything I could to find some place I could hang out and not have them around finding me and watching me. But every time I managed to find a place where I was able to successfully evade them for just one day. They'd always manage to appear at that very location the very next day. And in the end, no matter where I want, or what I did, or how hard I tried, I could never evade them, never escape them, never permanently shake them off. And in the process, I always managed to keep on getting exposed more and more and more to their romance and status as couples and have it seemingly rubbed in my face." He hung his head further, his entire upper body slumping downward in the process. "And I hated it." Raven stayed silent, stunned and saddened at just how much pain the changeling had been going through.
Then Beast Boy managed to straighten back up, sighing once more. "They finally stopped tailing me and watching me sometime last month about a couple days or so before Terra called me and informed me of how she, Aqualad, the rest of Titans East, and potentially all the other ancillary divisions would be coming to visit us for Valentine's Day this year." He turned his head to look towards the door to this room. "And now that every single one of those couples is going to be present, combined with Cyborg having managed to get himself a potential girlfriend of his own in that Simms girl, now I'll have virtually no chance at all of escaping the sight of it all." He turned his head to face the wall where his closet was, and hung it once more. "And it's not fair."
For a brief few moments, Raven had absolutely no idea what to say. Then she placed her hand on Beast Boy's shoulder yet again. "Why didn't you tell us any of this before now?"
Beast Boy sighed. "As willing as I've started to feel to accept the possibility of it indeed being as true as I feared, there was still a tiny part that was afraid to and didn't want to run the risk of you finally developing the cruelty to directly confirm it all to be true." Then he hung his head. "I also didn't want to make myself look weak."
Raven gaped in stunned sadness at Beast Boy. "Weak?" Raven asked. "What do you mean?"
"You know perfectly well what I mean," Beast Boy grumbled melancholically. "We're heroes; and super heroes at that. We're not supposed to be so strongly affected by stuff like that. We're supposed to be stronger than that." He placed his hands on the forehead of his still lowered head. "How are we, or any other superheroes for that matter, supposed to do our job of properly protecting the innocent powerless civilians, giving them living reasons for hope, and keeping the world safe if we show ourselves to be just as vulnerable, weak, and undeniably human in the presence of our fellow heroes, let alone in front of all the 'normies' we're supposed to protect?"
Beast Boy looked over at Raven. "Did you know that I've almost never ever cried before? Not even once?"
Raven's eyes widened. "That's . . . impossible . . ."
"Ok sure I've cried from pain," Beast Boy admitted. "And a couple of times I've thrown a sort of crying fit over things I find unfair or am angry about. But actually genuinely full blown crying from being genuinely sad? I've never cried like that since I was eight."
"Not even for Terra?" Raven asked.
"Not even for Terra," Beast Boy confirmed. He sighed. "Granted, I came pretty darn close after the night she finally revealed herself as Slade's mole at that stupid carnival. But in the end, I managed to hold it back, reign it in, and be strong like a proper hero." He looked towards his closet wall again, and sighed. "And I'm sure not gonna cry now. Not over this, or anything."
For a brief moment, Raven was stunned speechless yet again. But then her mind snapped out of its state of paralysis, and she directed a still saddened, yet also determined, look at Beast Boy. "Yes you are."
Beast Boy turned his head to face Raven once again, this time with a half saddened and half irritated look on his face. "Oh yeah?" he asked.
Raven nodded her head up and down, facial expression not changing in the slightest. "Correct," said Raven. "If you've been suffering at this kind of level for as long as you've just said, then enough is enough. You are going to cry on it. And you are going to start today . . . right here, right now."
"And admit to even everyone, including myself, that I'm weak?"
"Crying is not a sign of weakness."
"That's not what virtually every man these days says."
"They're just too cowardly and proud to admit it."
"Well I'm still a superhero."
"So is Starfire, and we all know she's not afraid to cry."
"Well yeah, but she's different."
"We're all different. And crying is just another natural human element."
"It still means I'm weak! I'm a hero! I'm supposed to be stronger than that!"
"When a strong one cries, it's not because they're weak," Raven gently countered. "It's because they've been strong too long." She placed her other hand on Beast Boy's other shoulder. "Just let it out Beast Boy. You'll feel better because of it. Trust me, you will." She sighed. "Believe me, I know."
Beast Boy raised his eyebrow. "You? Crying?" Beast Boy asked. Then Raven nodded her head, and Beast Boy slowly realized, both on his own and through his multiple animal instinct guides, that she wasn't kidding. "You're serious?"
"Mm-hm," Raven responded. "Cyborg to. And yes, no kidding, even Robin of all people has managed to break his façade and cry every now and then; and in fact, he's proven much more willing to cry when he believes he needs to these days ever since he finally got together with Star."
Beast Boy thought to himself, quite stunned and speechless. Then he sighed, and hung his head yet again. "So now it turns out all five of this team's founding members, but me, have proven strong enough to admit they need to cry and to actually go through with it." He placed his hands on the top of his head, tangling his fingers into his hair as if they were claws. "God! I'm more pathetic than I thought!" He then clenched his left fist and pounded it down on the mattress area directly to his left. "I'm too pathetic too be a proper superhero! I'm too stupid to properly think for myself! I'm too different too fit in! I'm too cowardly too face my own darkness! I'm too weak to properly fight and win my own battles without someone helping me!" And with each of these phrases, he punctuated it with a slam of his left fist on his bottom bunk mattress. Then he lifted his fist one more time. "And I'm too darn, freaking wrong, to ever get anything freaking right!" He slammed his fist one final time.
Time briefly seemed to stop, with Beast Boy still tensed up and breathing heavily. Then he started visibly shaking, his right hand letting go of his hair and lowering down into a position similar to his left hand, and his face now clearly showing that he was clearly on his last legs in his efforts to keep himself from taking part in the very form of crying that he'd just recently claimed to have made himself stop ever doing since all the way at 8 years of age.
Raven noticed this. "Just let it out Beast Boy," Raven said calmly and gently. "Just cry."
Beast Boy, still clearly shaking and struggling mentally between holding it in and letting it out, very vehemently shook his head. "No," he whimpered.
"Why not?" Raven asked gently in genuine concern.
"Because," Beast Boy managed to say. He hung his head. "Because. . ." He lifted his head, still having it face the direction of the wall where his closet was located. "Because . . . it's been so many years; there's so many other things besides what I've just told you about that I've amassed unwept sadness over . . . if I start crying . . . I'm afraid I'll never stop!" He hung his head once more. "Just think, me, the supposedly strong and mighty and eternally happy Beast Boy, forever a crying sniveling wreck. Guess that would just give you, Robin, and Mento one more thing to add to their list of grievances about me." He turned his head to face Raven. "Heck, even with all the effort I've done in my life to make him proud of me, the sight of me in my current state, let alone of me actually crying in sadness over it all, would probably make him feel more proud than he's ever felt . . . but of himself . . . and for all the wrong reasons!" Then he pointed his left index finger at Raven, his face now looking even more as if he were about to lose it. "Heck, if it weren't for how much better you and Robin have developed in regard to both character and your friendships with me, you'd probably be right there with him feeling the exact same way! Because look at this! All you, Robin, and Mento ever thought about me being a hopeless inadequate who could never do anything right and would only ever be a disgrace to himself and the entire freaking world?! Guess what?! That's exactly, how I turned out to be!"
For another brief moment that seemed to last an eternity, Raven just gaped at Beast Boy in a mixture of shock and sadness, and Beast Boy continued gaping at Raven with his finger still pointed and his face still clearly showing signs of his increasingly weakening struggle to keep himself together. Then Beast Boy just as noticeably started to show signs of getting yet weaker then he'd already started to become in his efforts to avoid crying, with his head and neck seemingly convulsing from the effort to hold his sadness back. Raven noticed this, and gently placed her hands on Beast Boy's shoulders. "That's it Beast Boy," she said soothingly. "Just let it out. Don't hold back. Let it flow." She let a small sad smile come on her face as she looked Beast Boy in the eyes. "Just stop fighting it Beast Boy. Let it go. Be sad Beast Boy. Be free. Let yourself allow it to end so you can be happy again, like you've always been."
Beast Boy, if it was at all possible, started wavering even further upon hearing all this, and he started very loudly sniffling and wheezing and hissing and damn near snarling in his efforts to yet keep his sadness contained. Raven remained exactly as she was, completely undeterred. "I mean it Beast Boy," said the sorceress. "Cry. Let it end. You'll be all the happier and stronger for it."
Beast Boy directed his eyes subtly towards the door, and Raven shook her head. "No Beast Boy," she then said. "I won't leave, and neither will you. You won't have to worry. You won't be alone. You can let it all out right here and now. I'll be here with you the entire time. By Azar's will, I promise you that." She leaned forward slightly closer towards Beast Boy. "Just cry, and let yourself truly be sad."
At first, Beast Boy didn't seem to make any change at all. Then he let out another whimpering snarl, but this one sounding considerably more primal, agonized, and wavering in will then all the others had. Raven mentally took a deep breath, taking note of the difference in tone between this snarl and all his others from earlier, and allowing it to serve as a sign of hope that she was perhaps successful in her genuine work to help her . . . actually quite good . . . friend. Then Beast Boy slightly reared his head back, letting out another snarl of an even stronger caliber of the same one from only seconds ago. Then he reared his head back even further, letting out a third snarl of similar, yet stronger, caliber while simultaneously letting out a screeching hissing whine through his virtually gritted teeth. Raven remained gazing intently at Beast Boy, a half saddened, half nervous, and half hopeful look on her face.
Then Beast Boy's eyes partially closed with a clearly extra saddened look in them, almost became completely covered up by moisture, and she felt a final strand in his current consciously constructed emotional guard just plain snap. With a hiss of despair, Beast Boy thrusted himself forward, coiled his arms around Raven in a tight embrace, almost pounded his head onto the sorceress's right shoulder with his eyes closed, and started howling in the most genuine and surprisingly overwhelmingly strong sadness that Raven had in fact long thought wasn't even physically possible to be felt. For a brief moment, she couldn't move, her hands and arms outstretched forward, and her eyes widened and jaw gaping open from the shock of the impossibly massive and strong flood of sadness that she could even now feel rocketing into her empathic radar. In fact, she very nearly felt as if she were at risk of passing out from the overwhelming strength of the emotional feedback she was currently having thrust upon her by Beast Boy. But then she mentally gritted her teeth. "No," she thought to herself. "I am not going to abandon Beast Boy to this. Not even mentally. I promised him I'd stick him with through this entire experience, and by Azar I will!" In a flash, she wrapped her own arms around Beast Boy, returning his hug and simultaneously both physically and mentally anchoring herself to allow her the ability to ride out the entire emotional storm alongside Beast Boy without being overwhelmed and passing out from the experience.
. . . . .
Meanwhile, right outside Beast Boy's room, the other three founding Titans were positioned in the hallway just close enough to listen in, yet far enough away to avoid triggering the door's automatic opening. And in the process, they even now found themselves feeling both guilty, saddened, and ashamed.
"Some friends we are," said Cyborg. In all he'd managed to overhear, he'd learned so much stunning, and also sad, information that had apparently been long accepted truth for his green shape shifter buddy for months, even years, without him ever even knowing. Granted, he was admittedly also quite stunned at the sound of the information of just how many official couples had actually managed to blossom among the Titans in the advent of the success of the 3 major Titan couples he'd been aware of, as well as dumbfounded at the news of how Bumblebee had apparently been dating the Herald for several months now and hadn't told him about it. But right now, he was going to save thinking, let alone worrying, about those details at a much later date; particularly in light of what he'd now learned about Beast Boy's current situation that had now turned out to have, from a certain point of view, actually been even worse than he'd thought.
"I must admit," Starfire said, a saddened look on her face and an equally disheartened tone in her voice. "I feel that I have been a terrible friend to poor Beast Boy for both not being able to have ever noticed any of this as well as potentially participated in some of it by accident."
"I know how you feel guys," said Robin. He was feeling just as saddened, ashamed, and guilty as his girlfriend and second in command. Granted, he was also feeling quite stunned at all the revelations he'd managed to undergo over the past few minutes or more. Beast Boy had now managed to reveal to Raven, and through means of eavesdropping, the rest of the founders, a vast treasure trove of shocking details about him that that had not only never once been remotely suspected by them, but that Beast Boy himself had gone to extreme lengths to never once let on. With all that in mind, Robin couldn't help but find a small part of him wondering, had he and the other Titans ever really known Beast Boy at all? But even so, he didn't really care at all about that one little detail; certainly not as much as he would have during the Titans' first year of existence as a team. The way he saw it, the Beast Boy he'd already known before learning all this had been a friend of his, and of all the other Titans. "And by God," he thought to himself. "This new Beast Boy we're finally getting introduced to is going to be our friend to."
Then the Boy Wonder flashed back to one particular detail that caused his expression to look even guiltier. "You know," said Robin. "Now that I think about it, I do remember now all that stuff Beast Boy said about when I had us all split into groups and keep an eye on him for a good couple of months after last year's Halloween." He hung his head. "I remember now, he seemed to be acting a little out of it and not quite like himself the first week following last Halloween, and I thought it might be a good idea for us to keep an eye on him just to make sure he was alright." He sighed. "But now, it would appear that, in my efforts to make sure he was ok, I accidentally made things worse for him."
Starfire placed her hand on her boyfriend's shoulder. "Don't feel bad Robin. We couldn't have possibly known that our effort to look out for him would end up making him feel bad."
"Well technically we could have if . . ." Cyborg began, only to promptly shut up at the withering glares that Robin and Starfire sent his way, clearly not all that keen on hearing anyone make any digs at Beast Boy. "Sorry."
Robin sighed, and hung his head. "Well one thing's for sure," said the Boy Wonder. "We'd definitely best both apologize not too long after today, and work our darn hardest to really make things up to him in the future." He gestured towards the door to Beast Boy's room, the sound of their green friend's sobbing still radiating from behind it. "After all this, he's more than earned that right."
Cyborg let a small smile come on his face. "Took the words right out of my mouth."
Robin and Starfire let smiles of their own come on their faces. Then they all found themselves looking back towards the door at the sound of Raven saying, "Yes, that's it Beast Boy, just let it all out. Everything will be ok. I'm right here." At the same time, they also heard Beast Boy's crying start to slightly subside as if he were managing to slowly calm down as he let the last of his collected sadness out of his system.
The three Titans gathered outside Beast Boy's room looked each other in the eyes, clearly now finally fully realizing how awkward and potentially not entirely pleasant it would be for them if Raven and Beast Boy were to find them in their current location within the near future. "I think we'd best head back to the common room," Robin whispered.
"Agreed," said Cyborg. Starfire nodded her head in agreement.
And thus, the three eavesdroppers silently went away from the door to Beast Boy's room and returned to the common room, hoping that until such time as they deemed it safe to mention, Beast Boy and Raven would be none the wiser about their earlier presence and eavesdropping.
. . . . .
Meanwhile, back inside Beast Boy's room, the changeling finally managed to calm down, and with a few final sniffles, stop crying. The two chromatically challenged friends broke the embrace and turned their heads to face the direction of the wall with Beast Boy's closet, the shape shifter sniffling and rubbing at his eyes with his fingers while Raven just took a deep breath and exhaled.
The sorceress was brought back out of her thoughts when she heard Beast Boy, "Sorry about that." She turned her head to face him.
"Don't be," she responded. "Like I said, it was better that you finally got all that out of your system. It may not feel that way for you yet, but over time, you'll feel much better after all this." She placed a hand on his shoulder. "And don't worry. Regardless of what happens between all of us, we're all friends, and actually practically family now. And who knows, maybe someday, you'll yet find someone special to be with just like Robin, Cyborg, and so many of our other team mates already have."
Beast Boy sighed. "I guess so. But still, I just wish that I could have found that someone a heck of a lot earlier than now." He looked over at Raven, a partially exhausted, partially aggrieved, and partially sad. "I mean come on, I was one of the founders. And yet here I am, out of all of us, I'm the last boy founder of this team who still hasn't found anyone. Granted, I once thought I did four years ago, but that girl's with Aqualad now, not to mention the fact that what I felt for her turned out to be a schoolyard crush anyway."
Raven nodded her head in sympathy with her eyes closed. She opened her eyes back up. "Yes, I can understand how disheartening that is," she said truthfully. She closed her eyes again, hung her head slightly, and sighed, thinking of her quite brutal experience with Malchior and how she had yet neither found anyone else that she could tell for certain would be worthy of risking her heart like that for a second time, let alone really tried searching for a worthy, let alone genuine, replacement. "But nonetheless, like you said to me 3 years ago," she opened her eyes and locked eyes with Beast Boy once more, "you may think you're alone; but you're not." She withdrew her hand from the changeling's shoulder. "And believe me, just because you haven't found that special someone yet, doesn't mean that she isn't out there at all. You still have plenty of time left to keep searching."
Then Raven caused her right hand to glow with her shadowy energy, and a small vortex appeared above said hand. A small object fell out of the vortex and into Raven's outstretched palm before the vortex and the energy on her hand faded away, revealing the object to be an IPod device. "In fact," said the gray skinned teen sorceress as she started looking through her songs. "There's actually one song on here that I think you might find worth listening on your own IPod that should emphasize this little point of mine quite nicely."
Beast Boy raised his eyebrow upon hearing this. "Since when is music like that your kind of thing?"
"Usually it's not," Raven responded. She continued looking through the music on her IPod. "But sometimes, even I feel the need to listen to music that's actually supposed to make listeners feel happy as opposed to depressed." She managed to find the song in question, and then she started to work to set up for a share transfer of the song between her IPod and Beast Boy's. "And every time I've ended up in a situation like that," she explained, "this song has always proven to be just the thing I've needed to hear." She initiated the transfer, and Beast Boy's own IPod lit up seconds later as the song arrived.
Beast Boy had just enough time to briefly glance at his IPod before Raven then got up from his bottom bunk. "I'll leave you for a little bit to listen to this song and see if it has the desired effect." She started walking back towards the door to his room, and then turned her head. "Granted, I'll be keeping a small psychic link on you just to be absolutely positive that you'll be alright."
Beast Boy nodded, absentmindedly picking up his IPod at the same time. "Understood," he then said in a half accepting and half interested tone.
"Good," said Raven. Then she thought to herself. "About how long do you think the others and I should wait before we can either expect you to come out of your room or come back to check on you?"
Beast Boy lowered his IPod, thinking to himself. "Um," said the changeling. "Maybe about . . . half an hour?"
Raven thought to herself. "I guess that will do." She turned her head to face the door and walked back towards it once more.
Then Beast Boy's eyes widened and his ears stood on end as he remembered something. He turned his head and held his hand out towards Raven as if gesturing for her to stay. "Wait!" Raven came to a stop, and seemed to lift up her head as if rolling her eyes to Heaven at the unexpected delay, and Beast Boy mentally winced. Then Raven turned around to face the changeling, and he hurriedly said, "Could it still be possible for us to visit the zoo today, or at least sometime this week?"
Raven's eyes widened, only now finally remembering how Robin and Cyborg had suggested this idea earlier in the common room, and she thought to herself. After what felt like hours to Beast Boy, the sorceress nodded her head. "I'll talk things out with the others." She looked directly back at Beast Boy, a small smile on her face. "And depending on scheduling, we may even get the chance to visit more than once this week." Smile still on her face, Raven turned around and resumed her walk towards the door, this time finally reaching it and exiting Beast Boy's room.
Soon after she exited the room and the door sealed itself shut once more behind her, she let out a low sigh of her own. Now that Beast Boy had managed to bring up his own current angst over being single this Valentine's Day in the midst of so many couples, and had a bit of a time to think on it herself, she now couldn't help but remember how she herself was in the same boat. Granted, she'd been single for her entire life so far, including during the Valentine's Days. Of course, she always acted and put on a visual image of never really caring all that much about the whole business of Valentine's Day, romance, and any other similar elements. But deep inside, as much as she liked to openly disagree with her more carnal and demonic side in regard to some of the more torrid and family unfriendly ideas it came up with, there was a still a tiny romantic aspect within her that hoped just as much for a happy ending of her own just as much as any other girl. Of course, this part of her hadn't really been all that strong during the last few years, particularly since there had never really seemed to be too big of a reason to care. But this time, as Beast Boy himself had learned the hard way, with so many couples now successful blossomed and smoothly sailing among the entire team as a whole, it was quite easy for bachelors and single ladies like Beast Boy and herself to feel lonely and in wanting. And right now, after the talk she'd given to Beast Boy, she now couldn't help but admit that this year she actually quite strongly hoped that she wouldn't have to spend the entire day locked in her room brooding and trying to keep her mind off the more romantic aspects of this year's Valentine's Day by virtually smothering herself with all her ghastlier and similarly unpleasant elements and memorabilia she kept in her room.
She took a deep breath, exhaled, and steeled herself mentally. "No," she thought to herself. "I just talked Beast Boy out of sinking into a similar depression. I am not going to just up and ignore my own advice." She lifted up her head, her eyes still closed, and exhaled once more. "Just like with Beast Boy, my own special someone is out there; I just haven't met him yet." She opened her eyes and started slowly walking away in the direction that would inevitably lead to the common room.
As she left, she took a small peek into her temporary psionic link she'd now had placed upon Beast Boy, and found a small smile back on her face as she noticed how, this time, the giant beacon of emotional output that she'd now been exposed to twice in a row from her shape shifter friend today had not faded or diminished in the slightest. In fact, now that she thought about it and was carefully keeping such watch on the now frankly quite impossible to avoid flood of emotional output from Beast Boy, not only was this particular giant amount of feedback composed of virtually nothing but happiness, joy, and hope, but had now actually just recently managed to become even stronger and brighter. Her smile widened. Clearly, he was feeling the effects of listening to the song that she'd newly managed to copy from her IPod to his. Then she thought to herself as she realized one little detail.
In all her time among the Titans, even before she'd detected Beast Boy's dangerously high emotional guard, she'd never once managed to detect an emotional feedback anywhere near as high, strong, or in such mass quantity as she was now receiving. In fact, she could actually now see that there was virtually little to no guard in him now at all, save for one small portion in the deepest and darkest depths of the very center of his heart that was almost impossible to notice without taking an extra close look through all the blindingly vibrant ocean of unguarded emotions surrounding it. With that in mind, a part of her couldn't help but wonder just how well she'd truly known Beast Boy at all before her conversation with him mere seconds ago.
Then her small smile came back on her face and she shook her head side to side. That didn't matter. Regardless of how much or how little she'd truly known Beast Boy, the changeling was still both a valued teammate, and a great friend. And quite frankly, she couldn't have asked for any better in his regard, let alone when it came to any of her other friends. In fact, compared to a surprisingly large number of the other members of the team, she and Beast Boy actually had a surprisingly strong bond now that she thought about it. Then she briefly came to a stop in the hallway, her slight smile widening ever so discreetly. "Who knows," she thought to herself. "Maybe this Valentine's Day just the two of us could hang out together at the zoo as friends. I'm sure he wouldn't mind that. And besides, hanging out together as friends is better than being all alone for the entire day." Smile still on her face, she resumed her trek back to the common room, her mind now firmly set on working to see if it would be possible to set such a plan up, yet at the same time either completely missing or not really caring about the small tiny buzz in her mind that seemed to think that there was more to her current thoughts on the matter then she herself was currently willing to believe.
. . . . .
Meanwhile, back in Beast Boy's room, the changeling had a wide smile on his face as he listened to the song Raven had newly provided for him onto his IPod. The song in question was Michael Buble's "Haven't Met You Yet", and he certainly had to admit, Raven certainly hadn't been kidding in her description of it earlier. For 15-20 minutes straight following Raven's departure from his room, he listened to the song again and again. He was truly enjoying it just that much.
Eventually, the changeling finally managed to mentally talk himself out of playing the song yet again, remove his earphones from his ears, and place his IPod back where it had been before picking it up to listen to the song. He took a deep breath, exhaled, and sighed in content. Then he looked back at the calendar hanging by his closet, smiling happily yet again. He had to admit, he was already starting to feel better.
"Never thought that Raven of all people could be that good at cheering people up," he thought to himself half-jokingly and half in all seriousness. Then he looked over at the door to his room, and his smile widened further with his eyes brightening up in glee as he thought once again about the potential for a zoo trip that day, and perhaps even on more than one occasion this very week. He got up from his bed. "I guess now's as good a time as any to get back with the others," he thought to himself, and he departed from his room, his mind set. And as he slowly walked through the hallways to get to the common room, he found his smile remaining quite obviously wide at the thought of the potential upcoming day trips to the zoo, the upcoming opportunity to say hi to all his pals from the team's extension branches when they arrived the very next day, and even, daresay it, actually celebrating this year's Valentine's Day happily alongside all his friends.
"Heck," he thought to himself. "Maybe if I'm lucky, I'll get the chance for just me and Raven to hang out at the zoo this Valentine's Day while everyone else is either out on a date or finding some other means of killing time." Then he paused, a confused look on his face as he wondered where this new idea had come from and why he now actually found the idea so appealing. Then he shrugged it off, smiling once more. "Well hey," he thought to himself. "She did just go out of her way to cheer me up; I haven't felt this good in years." His smile widened. "Not to mention," he thought to himself. "She's basically one of my best friends on this team, just like Cyborg."
"That's what you think."
Beast Boy's eyes narrowed, a small frown coming on his face at the sound of the Beast's unexpected comment from within his mind, and he irritably started mentally probing through his mind to try to find the Beast. But as luck would have it, the cheeky primal punk had already gone to ground to deep within his subconscious for him to find without wanting to be found, and it also appeared to have said all it had currently wanted for the time being. Sighing, he stopped his mental rummaging and resumed his trek to the common room, his smile slowly returning as he once again thought excitedly about the fun and actually quite happy potential days to unfold in the near future. But even as he did so, there was still one part of his mind that now had to grudgingly admit that the Beast was actually somewhat correct in that the way he personally thought and felt about his friendship with Raven was actually a good bit stronger then what he had with Cyborg, Starfire, Robin, or any of the other members of the team. "But why?" he thought to himself. "What difference does it make?" He heard the Beast chuckle as if enjoying an inside joke, and this time he also heard virtually every single one of the other animals in his mind chuckling alongside it in apparent agreement. His eyes narrowed in suspicion and confusion, but he otherwise continued to maintain his happy outward look. Just what was it that all the animals in him were currently thinking about his friendship with Raven that he himself didn't seem to be able to comprehend?
He shrugged, shielding his hearing from the sound of the mass chuckling in his mind as best as he could. "I can worry about that later," he thought to himself. "Right now, I've got more immediately important things to do. I'll think on this little mystery later . . . whatever the answer may be. Grr, what is it with them? Why are they on my case like this over Raven of all people all of a sudden? What makes her so different from all my other friends and teammates?"
What indeed Beast Boy? What indeed? And on that note, I'm hoping that you guys all enjoyed reading this chapter just as much as I enjoyed writing it, and that you leave a good bit of feedback. At the very least, I'd especially appreciate if I received at least 1 review for this chapter. By the time I have the next chapter finished, all I need is for that little requirement to be fulfilled, and voila, up goes the new chapter! And on another note, feel free to comment and get detailed on whatever and however many elements of this chapter you wish. And do feel free to take a guess at just who was the creepy looking man that Beast Boy briefly hallucinated Raven as in his panic. And on another note, you may have noticed Raven mentioning three earlier incidents that she had a major talk with Beast Boy? Well yeah, just to make sure you all have your full information, here's the full rundown on those talks in question. We all know what she was referring to by the Beast talk (their talk on the shore of the island at the end of the episode The Beast Within). I also view it as a major headcanon of mine (and likely is shared by multiple other fans) that it was Raven who managed to convince Beast Boy to leave his room and cheer him up after the night of Terra's officially getting her status as a traitor revealed (and certainly depicted in a quite realistic 'canon' light in Braelyn Briar's 'Raven's Intervention' story). And as for her having a talk with Beast Boy after his unpleasant efforts with Terra in Things Change, I have officially accepted this idea as a headcanon after reading about such a scenario in one of the relatively most recent chapters in Obvious Ghost's When There's Trouble. So yeah, that's everything I've got to say now. Once again, hope you enjoyed, and that you leave plenty of feedback! See ya later!
Coming up Next: Beast Boy is still back to normal when it comes to emotional health . . . or more accurately, more healthy emotionally wise than he's ever been for quite a long while. And he's been cured just in time for the arrival of the members of the ancillary divisions. And with the arrival of just Titans Central and East alone, things already get to looking quite happy for the team. But not too long after the arrival of the guests, and in fact even before their arrival, Beast Boy still can't quite get his newfound little dilemma regarding his mental turmoil over Raven out of his head. And this soon leads to Beast Boy being forced to face and answer a very serious question; just how does he feel when it comes to Raven? Well come next chapter, and we all just get to find out!
