Chapter 23: Truth Can't Hide In The Light.
Notes- This is unbeta-ed any mistakes are my own. Feel free to point them out and I'll fix them ASAP. You know this by now.
I don't know if I need to change the rating or not just yet. Skye's past gets a bit darker than even I imagined it in later chapters when mores revealed. She's only revealing bits and pieces to Grant when she comes to terms with them so far.
If you think I should up the ratings maybe just throw that in when you review :) Reviews make my day and encourage me to get my chapters out faster.
Grant's POV- Status: The Bus. Whereabouts: "On Route." Time: 4:07 AM
"Stop, please stop." Skye whimpered, tossing the tangled blankets off her as she moved to get away from an unknown entity.
Her frighten voice had him awake in seconds. "You're ok, baby. It's just a nightmare, it can't hurt you." He soothed softly, rubbing her arm trying to bring her back to reality.
"Stay away from me! I not your bad girl!" She screamed hysterically.
He frowned. She wanted someone away from her, desperately. Not your bad girl? What the hell does that mean? "You're safe baby, it's not real. You're safe." He promised her.
Skye's little head tossed back and forth on her pillow, her wild curls becoming a tangled mess. She let out a shrill scream then her eyes flew open, much to his relief. She sat up looking around his bunk, her wide brown eyes wildly searching the darkness. Her eyes finally landed on him, she let out a shaky breath and dissolved into tears.
"Skye, Baby, your safe. I've got you." He promised, shifting up to rest against the headboard. He gathered her up so she was curled against his chest; he ran his fingers through her soft curls in the hope that it would ground her.
"He-he…I-I'm not…" Skye trailed off, to upset to form a coherent sentence.
"It's ok, baby, just breath. Nobody's gunna hurt you." He assured her, wiping away her tears with his thumb.
Skye slowly calmed down, taking deeper breaths; her little body sagged against his as she sobbed.
He held her tight and let her cry herself out. "I've got you, baby." He promised, for what felt like the thousandth time.
He shifted them so they were laying down more comfortably. "Close your eyes baby, you're safe with me." He assured her, seeing she was fighting to keep her eyes open, obviously frightened her nightmare would continue.
He felt terrible. Skye had probably had this nightmare because he brought up her past before she was ready to face it. Now even her subconscious was throwing it back in her face causing her more pain.
"You'll keep me safe." She mumbled into the sleeves of his maroon hoodie. She'd been using it to dry her tears and snotty nose.
"Always." He hugged her tighter. "Where'd you find this anyway?" He asked her, plucking at the hoodie. He was curious because he thought he'd left it behind after training one morning and he hadn't been able to find it since.
Skye frowned. "Under my seat."
He knew for certain he didn't leave it in the car. He didn't wear this hoodie often, usually only when he ran out of clean clothes. It wasn't his favourite colour but Skye seemed to think it looked good on him so he'd worn it to training just for her. Obviously Skye had swiped it for her 'me time.'
What's so special about men's clothes that woman feel the need to steal them? He wondered, shaking his head. This wasn't the first item of clothing of his to go missing; he's minus about three shirts too.
"Were you cold in the SUV, baby?" He asked her, curiously.
Skye shook her head. "Smells wike you." She mumbled in a small voice.
Skye was hiding like she thought she was in trouble or maybe she was embarrassed.
Ahh. So it's a security thing. He thought as he watched Skye hide in his hoodie.
He smiled down at her. "I'm not mad, baby." He put her at ease.
Skye looked up at him timidly.
"You wanna wear it? You wear it, baby, if it makes you feel safe." He pulled the hood up over her head like it was some form of protection against nightmares.
He got a shy giggle out of her before she snuggled down more comfortably. She brought the sleeves up to her nose and breathed deeply. She relaxed almost immediately and was snoring lighting in no time.
He kissed her hoodie covered head. He inhaled taking a quick sniff of his hoodie, it smelled as he expected- like it needed a good wash. He wrinkled his nose. It definitely needs a wash now it has her tears and snot all over it. He smirked.
He'd be lying if he said he wasn't secretly please she could find comfort in him, well his hoodie; he was trying not to let it go to his head. It wasn't working very well.
If it makes her feel safe, it doesn't matter. He reasoned, closing his eyes.
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Grant's POV
By lunchtime he was still no closer to figuring out Skye's demons than he was yesterday. He'd suggested she tell him about her nightmare and now she was avoiding talking altogether; only nodding or shaking her head to acknowledge people's questions.
He decided to take a break. He tried and read his book, but he couldn't concentrate. Sighing heavily, he abandoned the book and closed his eyes.
"Perhaps you need a different approach, Grant." Gramsy suggested, sitting down next to him.
"Like what, Gramsy?" He asked at a loss, eyes still closed.
"How did you get Skye to open up and trust you enough to train her?" Gramsy asked him. His eyes snap open. "Phil might have mentioned a few things to me." Gramsy acknowledged.
"No! I'm not telling Skye more about Christian!" He snapped furiously. He glared at her for even suggesting it; she knew full well how he felt about his past.
She nodded, obviously not surprised by his reaction. "Did you ever stop and think that maybe Skye doesn't want to tell anyone because she doesn't think anyone will understand or believe her." Gramsy asked him, seriously.
No, he hadn't considered that. He pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't want Skye to freak out more. She's scared enough, Gramsy. I can't put her through that, she's not ready." He insisted.
"She's not ready or you're not ready, Grant? Because from what I'm hearing, it sounds like you're stalling." Gramsy stated bluntly.
Damn it. She always saw right through his bullshit. He wasn't ready to bring up his past again. He's tried to push it down and keep it compartmentalised for years. He really didn't want to bring it back up.
He didn't want Skye to learn how screwed up he is. What if she thought he couldn't even handle his own past, so what help would he be with helping her deal with hers? She was already trying to deal with her own past without his issues getting in the way too.
Gramsy's POV
She watched Grant carefully. "What if it helps her Grant? What if hearing about what Christian put you and Thomas through gives her the confidence to confide in you?" She asked him. "It might even help you too."
Grant was thinking about it, she could see it in his eyes. He was thinking about the possibility of revealing his past to Skye.
He looked up at her and nodded solemnly.
She was proud of him. He was finally ready to face it rather than bottle it up and let it eat away at him.
Grant's POV
"I'm going to find Skye." He told Gramsy, getting up.
He could relive his past, if it meant that Skye wasn't haunted by hers. He could do it for her, and he would, once he found her. She'd been avoiding him since this morning.
"Skye?" He called out, checking his bunk. No sign of her.
He headed to the lab. "Have you guys seen Skye?" He asked them. Fitzsimmons shook their heads, focused on their task.
Tommy's head snapped around to face him. "You haven't lost her again have you?" He asked him, disapprovingly.
"No!" He snapped, defensively. He immediately felt bad. "Sorry Tommy, I'm just worried." He sighed. "Skye's avoiding me. I've got to somehow get her to talk to me, so she can face her past and hold the 0-8-4 and be turned back into an adult." He ranted.
"Better?" Tommy asked him.
"Yes, actually." He said, taking a deep breath.
"I'd check the SUV Grant. Skye seems to go there to feel safe when she doesn't want to go to you." Tommy suggested.
He sighed. Duh Grant, where else would she be.
"Thanks Tommy. I'll go check." He said, ruffling his brother's hair.
Just like yesterday, he found his baby rookie asleep with his hoodie on the back seat. He carefully scooped her up into his arms. She automatically grabbed hold of his t-shirt, snuggling closer to his warmth.
He was going to take Skye back to his bunk but then thought better of it. She obviously felt comfortable here. It might help her open up if she feels safe. He thought, hopefully. It was worth a shot.
He climbed into the back seat and shut the door quietly, careful not to wake her or jostle her to much as he propped himself against the opposite door with his legs along the seat.
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Grant's POV
Skye slept for another hour, giving him plenty of time to prepare himself. Her eyes lids started to flutter. She nuzzled his chest, stretching, and then curling closer to him.
"Keep me safe." She murmured sleepily into his shirt.
He frowned, unsure if Skye was talking to him or whether she was just talking in her sleep. That was until she went to roll over and would have landed on the floor, if he hadn't grabbed her around the waist and scooped her back into his lap.
Skye screamed, frighten at being woken up so suddenly. In her overly tired state she erupted into tears, taking in shaky breaths. "Baby, you're ok. Look at me. Your safe here, we're in the SUV." He soothed her, trying to get her to calm down. He didn't mean to frighten her.
Skye looked around the car, her watery eyes meeting his. "You're ok baby." He assured her softly, brushing her hair out of her eyes.
Skye nodded but didn't look like she believed him.
All of a sudden Skye's head shot up and she scrambled around, he wasn't sure what she was doing until she turned trying to reach for her hood.
"I've got it baby, here." He said, pulling it up and over her head for her. She instantly calmed down. "Is that better, baby?" He inquired, eyeing her carefully.
Skye nodded her head. "Keeps me safe." She mumbled.
"Does my hoodie keep you safe, like I do?" He asked her, checking he'd heard correctly.
Skye looked down. "It pro-tects me. I safe." She explained shyly, hiding in his hoodie.
"You're safe here. No one's going to hurt you. I won't let that happen." He assured her, hoping she's open up, rather than shut down like this morning.
Skye had her face hidden in his hood so he couldn't see her. He slowly lifted her chin so she'd meet his eyes, than even slower, he reached up and pushed the hood back so she wasn't hiding. "You don't need my hoodie to be safe because I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you. I promised, ok?"
Skye was fidgeting like she really wanted to pull her hood forward and hid, but thought he'd tell her off.
"Is the hoodie keeping the nightmares away, is that it?" He asked her. Skye looked up with fear in her eyes, confirming his deduction. He hated seeing her frightened. He took a deep breath to prepare himself. "Baby, can I tell you something that I've never told anyone else?"
Skye gave a small nod.
"When I was a little older than you, something happened and nobody would do anything about it." He told her.
"So when you's little wike me, nobody wistened too." She simplified.
This topic was obviously making her edgy; she'd reverted back to baby talk in her nervousness. "It's not that they wouldn't listen to me, it's that they didn't believe me. I had a horrible big brother that was a bully. He made my life miserable and my parent weren't any better. When I tried to tell people, they wouldn't believe me because my parents just made up lies for why I had bruises or broken bones so everyone just thought I was a liar." He revealed, still giving her the censored version. He was watching Skye carefully to making sure he wasn't scaring her.
"People say I's a wiar too." Skye murmured, scooting a little closer to him so she could rest her head against his chest and listen.
"When bad things happened I got scared and I had nobody to protect me. The people, who were supposed to protect me, were the ones causing the damage so I had to learn to protect myself. When I did, Christian would pick on Tommy instead and hurt him so I had to try keep him safe." He took a deep breath to calm himself. This was harder than he'd imagined. His mind was bringing up all the memories he's tried so hard to bury. He could still hear his baby brother's screams echoing in his ears.
"You keep us safe." Skye insisted, trying to reassure him by nuzzling her nose against his chest.
"I try baby, but sometime things are out of my control." He told her.
Skye looked at him questioningly, not understanding.
"I try to protect you and Tommy, but sometimes I can't keep you as safe as I'd like. Sometimes you get hurt and I can't do anything about it." He explained.
"Christian did a bad thing, didn't he?" She asked him.
Skye was clever. "Yeah, baby, he did. He hurt Tommy so bad he nearly died. That's how we ended up living with Gramsy for a bit." He revealed, not telling her all the details. He didn't want to scare her; he could see the impact his story was having on her. She was shaking. "Shh baby, we're ok now. Tommy's ok. Christian and our parents can't hurt us anymore." He told her and for the first time in years, he actually believed what he was saying.
It wasn't his fault Christian and his parents were horrible human beings that hurt him and his brother. He just didn't believe it wasn't his fault, until this very moment.
He wasn't a weak and defenceless kid anymore, he could defend and protect himself and those he loved. He would protect them. "Skye, did somebody hurt you? Is that why you keep getting nightmares?" He asked her trying to be gentle yet firm, he wanted an answer.
"He smacked me! Hurt me. He say I bad, but I not." She stammered out in a rush.
Anger filled him, he had to try really hard not to punch something and risk scaring Skye. How dare anyone put their hands on her! How could anyone possibly think his Skye was bad? She didn't have a bad bone in her body. Maybe a mischievous one, but not a bad one, his Skye was beautiful and good; she was perfect. He thought furiously.
"Skye, why did the man think you were being bad?" He asked her. He needed to know everything.
Skye hiccupped and wiped her tears away with the sleeve of his hoodie. "He said I had to be his bad girl."
His heart plummeted and he couldn't breathe. Oh god…no. He thought, swallowing hard. "Baby, what do you mean he wanted you to be his bad girl?" He asked, feeling sick.
"He um…says I had to…" She trailed off, bring his hoodie sleeves up to her face breathing in, trying to calm herself down.
"What?! Skye, just tell me, baby, please…" He pleaded, panicked.
"He says I have to take stuff for him, hide it till we get home." She revealed, wiping her face again.
He breathed a sigh of relief, that wasn't nearly as bad as he thought. He'd been imagining a lot worst, a lot worse. "Aww Baby." He gathered her to him in a tight hug, squeezing her.
Skye sobbed into his chest, letting it all out. "H-he told me to take stuff." She hiccupped. "To hide it, b-but when I no do it…he-he…" She trailed off again, sobbing into his t-shirt.
"Baby, what did he do?" He asked with dread.
She didn't answer.
Panic spiked in his chest making him shout. "BABY, WHAT DID HE DO?!" Skye jump at his loud voice.
"He- he smacked my bottom weally hard so I couldn't get away. Wocked me in a dark cupboard. He no let me out till I say I be his bad girl and t-take stuff." She stammered, breathing hard. "He say nobody want me so I gotta be his bad girl, nobody want me." She sobbed, hysterical.
God, he was so furious he was shaking. How could someone tell her nobody wanted her? He never wanted to let her go. "Baby, you have lots of people who want you. You're not bad. You don't have any bad in you, ok? You're a good girl." He told her, firmly.
"I-I bad, I took stuff." She stammered, hiding her face.
His baby was upset someone made her steal, not that someone had done such horrible things to her. "Skye, you took things because you had to not because you wanted to. That man would have hurt you if you didn't." He said, trying to make her understand that it wasn't her fault.
"B-but I took d'em and not mine. I a bad girl wike he say." She insisted, still sobbing.
"No, Baby! He would have hurt you if you didn't take things. That doesn't make you bad. That makes him bad for manipulating you into doing bad stuff." He explained. "You're a good girl and he used you to get what he wanted so he wouldn't get in trouble." He told her a simply as possible.
"He smacked me so hard." She shivered, obviously remembering the experience.
"He should never have done that to you or locked you up in the dark." He was trying to stay calm so he could keep her calm.
"He smacked me, wock me in dark." She repeated, whimpering.
"You're a good girl and I love you so much." He told her, wiping her tears away as she hiccupped. She was breaking his heart right now and he wanted to break this guy's neck for hurting her.
"I your good girl?" She asked him, looking at him with red watery eyes.
She looked so vulnerable, she made his heart clench. "You're my best girl baby and don't you forget it." He told her cupping her cheek, giving her a kiss on the forehead.
He hugged her tight. "Skye, I need you to understand that it's not your fault." He said, looking straight into her eyes.
"I your good girl. Skye gave him the tiniest smile. "You still love me?" She asked him in a scared voice.
He never wanted her to doubt that. "Of course I still love you. That's never going to change. I'm not the only one either everyone missed your twenty-questions today. They get worried just like me when you're so quiet." He told her, running his fingers through her soft curls.
Skye looked up at him with guilty eyes. "I-I sorry, I-I bad." She stammered, looking down into her lap.
Shit. She still thinks she's bad.
"You don't need to be sorry. You didn't do anything wrong." He assured her. "We worry about you because we love you and want you to be happy and safe." He explained patiently.
"I happy wif you." She told him matter-of-factly.
"Well, I'm glad you're happy and feel safe with me." He watched Skye's face spread into a smile. "How about we go have some dinner now." He suggested.
"Can you do the aeroplane?" Skye asked excitedly bouncing up and down in his lap, giving him her best bambi eyes.
How could he say no to those eyes? "I guess I can. Come on, let's find the others." He chuckled, scooping her up.
He'd have to talk to the team about what he'd discovered, but for now he was just happy Skye was talking to him again. He could handle anything HYDRA or anyone else through at him but Skye being unhappy or upset. That he just couldn't handle.
