Hello! Thanks again to everyone who's been commenting. I'm working seven days a week right now so I haven't had time to respond to all the comments this time around, but know I read and appreciate every single one of them!
Drawings will be coming out soon!
If I had to choose between a pet kangaroo or a pet platypus, I'd choose a platypus. Great ice breaker, and there's a chance he solves crimes. Everyone wins. What would you choose? Does anybody read this anyway?
This one's shorter than I meant it to be on account of realizing how long it was going to take me to write the second half. So enjoy :)
11
Who's Ready to Tumble?
Tristan ripped his knife from its sheath, causing the bird-woman to shriek in anger that the merchant ignored. He looked between the exit and Fíli with conflict riddling his features. Then he growled in frustration and pulled a wadded rag from his coat pocket.
"Wait," Fíli pleaded, "Just untie me. I can help you."
The ginger boy gave him a wry grin and shook his head. "Not a chance." Fíli opened his mouth to reply, which Tristan saw as an opportunity to shove the rag into his mouth. Another beat and a strip of cloth was wound tightly around his mouth and head to stop him from spitting it out.
Dark curses rose to the surface of Fíli's vernacular, all of them pitifully muffled behind his gag. The boy gave him a weak smile and shrugged, "At least I know it works."
Something smashed against the side of the side of the wagon and suddenly Tristan was charging out into the unknown. Fíli lashed out with his feet, managing to strike a crate but nothing more. The bird creature was riled up now, flapping her wings and struggling against her shackles. More than once did Fíli take a feather to the eye before kicking out his feet at her instead. He struck her shin lightly, just enough to get her attention.
And get it he did.
His cry of pain was absorbed by the gag as the unfortunate dwarf found his leg the sudden victim of a bird bite the likes of which he's never seen. She released him quickly enough, but it didn't change the fact that there was now two 'V' shaped cuts on his right shin.
He pulled is leg away with indignity and glared at his feathered advisory. Her eyes were as black as ink wells and her chest rose and fell in small frantic breaths. The creature was very, very afraid. Fíli would have tried to help her somehow, when suddenly a most familiar voice rose over the fray.
"Where is my nephew?! I know you have him."
Thorin.
He shouted and screamed, trying to cue his uncle in on his whereabouts, but the gag served its purpose and not a sound escaped him. With new energy he yanked and tugged against his shackles until he was quite certain his wrists were bleeding.
"—on about. We're just merchants, not kidnappers."
"Don't lie to me. Move aside!"
"We're very private merch—oof!"
"SEARCH THE WAGONS!"
Fíli's heart was in his throat now. He could hear feet moving about him and the whisper of knives leaving their sheaths. There was going to be a fight. Somehow Thorin knew he was here, and probably thought Kíli was with him. He would fight until he rescued him, and the merchants would fight until they were all dead and gone.
Suddenly Fíli was feeling conflicted about the idea of being rescued at all.
They were guaranteeing him a chance to find Kíli. They did feed him. It wasn't the worst situation he could have gotten himself into, honestly.
But that was about to change.
There was a cry of pain and the entrance of Fíli's wagon flew open with Dwalin at the head. "Fíli!" he exclaimed, seeming surprised that he'd been the one to make the discovery. Fíli trashed against his bonds in response, desperate to be free of them.
Merchants be damned, Fíli wanted his freedom back.
Dwalin made to step inside when suddenly there was a great, horrific roar that drew the warrior's attention up the mountain slope.
Trolls.
"Well if it's not one thing, it's another!" Dwalin roared, swinging his axe in frustration. He snapped his attention back to Fíli briefly and pointed a stern finger at him. "Stay here."
No! Untie me you idiot!
Screams erupted around the wagon and the ground shook as thunderous footsteps came pummeling down the cliff side. The horse attached to Fíli's wagon whinnied in fright and bolted, effectively knocking over several crates that burst open upon impact.
Durin's beard…
Three spiders the size of small dogs scuttled out of their ruined crates and took off in every which way. One ran straight towards the exit and bounced off as the horse yanked them over a ditch. The second scampered to the top of the wagon until it found an opening and wriggled outside. But the other, well the other came right at Fíli.
Now Fíli had never been known to be squeamish about spiders. But in his defense, he'd never encountered spider big enough to eat a baby before.
The bird woman shrieked at the creature, which only seemed to set it off. The horrible, shiny black body reared, revealing the full length of its legs and fangs. Which now dripped with venom.
No no no no, Mahal please no.
There was nothing to be done for it. The spider took to the ground and charged him, so Fíli lifted his legs as high and they could go and brought his feet down on the beast before it could sink its fangs into his skin. He continued to smash the arachnid until its guts smeared the wagon floor and the legs twitched in rejection.
The trolls resounded through the mountains, though they were sounding more distant. The ground was rattling underneath them and Fíli knew that if something didn't happen, he'd be abandoning his friends to battle the trolls alone. Even if they succeeded, there was a chance the horse would gallop them straight into a goblin hoard.
So Fíli did what he had to. He crouched so that he was on the ball of his feet, his hands still tethered to the wagon frame. And as soon as he felt the wagon take a sharp turn, he threw himself at the wooden beams as hard as he could.
The wagon lurched and suddenly the world was upside down and sideways all at once. Wood splintered and creatures of all sorts screamed as they trundled across the terrain. It eventually stopped with one final, half-accomplished attempt to straighten out right side up. But in the end it fell back to its side with Fíli sitting dizzily on top of cages and crates alike.
There must have been an easier way than that.
But he had no time for that now. Birds and reptiles were now free of their cages and scurrying around in frantic search of the exits. The crebite tore in the fabric themselves before flying away. The viper darted from the wagon faster than a flash of lightning. In his daze he noticed the dragon egg was gone, leaving in its wake a massive tear.
Fíli looked down and blinked at his wrists, which still bore the shackles that held him to the wagon. But there was no longer a proper wagon for them to be attached to, so by default he was free.
Carefully, he pushed himself up from the debris. Testing his feet and ankles, he was satisfied that there was no serious injury other than scrapes and bruises. Nothing short of a miracle really. A haze of dust hung in the air like mist, making the dwarf cough as he gathered his bearings. It was a bizarre experience, walking inside of something that was sideways.
First he had to take care of business here. Wielding a metal bar that had been wrenched from the viper's cage, he began smashing the iron screw that was holding the bird woman's chains to the wagon. The action made her scream and bite at his ankles, but the moment the chain fell to the ground she silenced, turning her eyes to him again. The deep black recoiled until her blue irises returned, just as unreadable as before. "I don't have a key," Fíli told her, "So you'll have to get those irons off yourself somehow. But you're free."
The strange creature blinked at him once, as if to contemplate whether she should eat him. She put drew her legs beneath her and stood in a swift, graceful motion that took Fíli by surprise. She was so tall, her head and shoulders were bent over him to accommodate the height of the wagon. Fíli swallowed nervously, wondering now that it was too late if he should have freed her at all. But she simply looked at him a moment longer, before shooting straight out of the wagon with one thunderous beat of her wings. The dwarf stared up at the hole she left in the wagon in shock. High above where he couldn't see, he heard a single, flute-like note that sounded more beautiful, sad, and overjoyed than anything song he'd every heard before. And then both the noise and the creature were gone.
Shaking it off, Fíli made for the exit when a chorus of whines made him stop. Three fluffy wolf pups were looking up at him from their overturned cage. They jumped at the bars and yelped with desperation that broke Fíli's heart. How could anyone keep such innocent looking things in a cage so small?
"Don't bite my fingers now," he warned. Then he jammed his metal bar behind the lock and yanked until it broke free. The three puppies yipped and began to scramble their way out of the cage, causing a smile to melt across the dwarf's face.
Fíli, the others need you. Wake up!
Why was he still smiling dopily at the puppies?
The roar of a troll brought Fíli back to the present. He tightened his grip on the metal pole and leapt from the wrecked wagon with all the grace of a newborn deer. His feet failed him multiple times before eventually propelling him back around the bend of the mountain. And suddenly he found himself looking down upon two huge cave trolls.
Whoa.
The fight was teetering dangerously on the edge of a cliff as the dwarves danced about the feet of the trolls. Fíli looked down at the pole in his hand and blinked as his vision doubled. He waited for it to correct itself before registering that the three wolf pups were clustered around his ankles.
"What are you doing here?" he asked them. The fluffiest one with ice blue eyes responded by licking his boot.
Well, fine.
With a cry, Fíli raised his questionable weapon over his head and charged down the path towards the battle.
What in Durin's name is he doing?
Thorin watched in sheer confusion as his golden haired nephew—formerly regarded as the more levelheaded of the two—charged down the mountain path with a battle cry in his lungs and a bent pipe in his fist. The boy's balance seemed to pitch a little, but he courageously stayed on his own two feet.
And were there three puppies chasing him?
There had to be an explanation for all this. One Thorin was anxious to hear, but in that moment the mountain troll swung its great club at his head and successfully distracted his eyes from his nephew.
Two of the merchants were dead. One fell over the cliff and was probably dead as well. The rest had run and hid when their wagons were destroyed and the trolls proved harder to defeat than they planned. So it was left to the Thorin's party, a mass of frightened horses, and one oblivious goat to combat the ogres.
Thorin brought his sword down on the troll's wrist, causing it to drop its club in pain. Behind him he heard Dwalin's thunderous bellow as he sunk his axe into the leg of the other beast. They seemed to be winning, but not quickly. Nori had taken a club to the chest and was struggling to recuperate. Oin and Kendrick were also injured, but not severely.
The huge troll shrieked and started swinging his fists at Thorin. He dodged the first and second and narrowly missed the third, but the forth time he was hit from the right and sent sailing to the ground with a heavy thud. The troll roared in victory and raised his foot to step on him when suddenly Fíli's distant battle cry was not so distant anymore.
"Fíli, no!"
Thorin had been prepared to get stepped on. His sword was raised and at the ready to stab the brute in the foot before anything bad could happen. But the beast stopped the moment his toe was slammed with Fíli's pole.
Turning around in search of his new advisory, the troll gave Thorin enough time to spring to his feet and recover his footing. Era reached out a hand to help steady him. "No broken bones?" she asked with a grim smile. Thorin shook his head and released her.
Meanwhile Fíli continued to hit the troll's foot with his pole until he was swatted away like a mere fly. Thorin watched as his nephew hit a rock and stumbled to stay on his feet while the beast positioned its mammoth body to fight this new enemy. "I gotcha, lad," was Avery's response. The second oldest of Brent's brothers helped the young dwarf while Oin, Era, and Thorin attacked.
They fought against the troll, which proved tough to kill on account of its size. Thorin was working on finding a weak spot when Fíli came stumbling over to his with a drunken look to his eyes.
"Fíli, what are you thinking? Where are your weapons?" Thorin reprimanded. The boy blinked at him in confusion and then looked down at his pole as if it were his first time seeing it. Three gray puppies quickly encircled his ankles, barking and growling at the troll that was currently trying to grab a stealthy Avery.
"What are y'doin with a bunch of wolves?" Nori wheezed, having found the strength to rejoin the fight.
In response Fíli dropped his pole and bent down, scooping up all three pups into his arms regardless of how well they fit there. "They're m'dogs," he said thickly, allowing them to lick his chin and gnaw on this arm. Thorin frowned and took a step closer to his sister-son.
"Fíli, you're acting strangely."
The blonde hugged the puppies closer to him and shook his head. "I wan'ta keep 'em. They don'have a home."
Something was wrong, any fool could see that. Thorin assessed that any logic was going to be useless, so he raised his hand and spoke in a cautious but gentle voice. "Okay, we'll keep the dogs. Just put them down, we're in a fight right now."
"We c'keep the dogs?"
"Yes."
"Permiss?"
"…I promise."
That placated Fíli enough to prompt him to put the wriggling puppies down and take up his pole again. Thorin clenched his jaw in irritation and snatched it away from him. "You can't do anything with this Fíli, just go hide somewhere until this is over. You're in no state to—"
Just then the trolls foot came crashing down an inch from their noses and the fighting resumed. Thorin wasn't able to keep track of Fíli in the fray, but sent a prayer to Mahal that he would stay out of the way.
The fight wouldn't last long. Together Thorin, Era, Avery, Oin, and Nori had a plan to trip up their troll and drop a rock on its head. That left the bigger one to Dwalin, Bifur, Brent, Kendrick, Guinn, and Ori. Well, Ori wasn't helping as much as he was quivering.
The plan was set and the rope had been twisted around the ankles of the unknowing troll when suddenly the bigger of the two snatched up Bifur in its hands and held him high.
"Drop your weapons or I'll rip him in half!" he roared in his thick accent. Everyone froze, momentarily unsure what to do.
"Leave him alone!" came Fíli's voice. Thorin's head snapped to find his nephew standing a short distance from the fight with two sticks waving in the air. "Come after me you fat, lazy old log!"
"Wha' did he jus' say?" The troll holding Bifur looked between Fíli and his companion in disbelief.
"I said you're ugly! And stupid! I've seen shit that looks prettier than you!"
Not the most original insults, but they did the trick. The troll roared and dropped Bifur was a painful thud and began to stalk towards Fíli.
"NOW!"
Thorin's crew pulled the ropes around the shorter troll's ankles as hard as they could, succeeding in tripping him up. The beast fell forwards in his pursuit of his friend and by some miracle, took the second down with him via sheer gravity. The other dwarves tossed a rock from the cliff above them and cheered as it landed on the small troll's head with lethal force. Dwalin raised his axe to relieve the bigger one of his head. Pinned underneath the small troll, it could do nothing to defend itself besides swipe at the pesky dwarf. Dwalin managed to avoid the blow and killed the beast in one fell swoop.
Fíli, did not.
The world had been pitching two and fro and Fíli was so tired. He realized too late that the dust in the air after his crash hadn't been from the road at all, but rather the sleeping dust that spilled in the collision. Even the wolf pups were napping in the safety of a rock crevice.
But his friend needed him. So he had distracted the troll to save Bifur. When the two brutes fell, he thought it was over. It seemed over. He needed to lie down and take a nap if he was ever going to feel normal again.
Since when were there three Dwalin's?
His eyes were clouding over and there had been no time, no chance for him to move out of the way. The troll's hand took him by surprise, the force of it checking the entire left side of his body. Fíli staggered and pitched sideways in an effort to keep his feet on the ground.
Until there was no more ground.
The sensation of falling lasted a fleeting, incomprehensible moment before the ground rose up to meet him.
