(Babbly apologetic note at bottom. And links to drawings! Yay!)

15

I'm Not Fine

"…found these falls in the middle of the forest when we were children. We used to jump off of the top and into the water when our parents weren't looking. That's where we discovered this water flower at the bottom that makes a great medicine when it's dried. We traded it at the markets for a time after that, but they're hard to find. What did we call them?"

"Snow dragons," Tristan replied in disinterest.

"Right, snow dragons. Well, when our parents found out about our market on the side, they let us have it. My age was the only thing that spared me."

"Kíli's ear infection was the only thing that had spared him from our mother's wrath," Fíli chuckled, turning the vile of Mallos over and over in his fingers.

"I imagine you weren't spared?" Lia chuckled, ripping off a piece of bread with her teeth.

Fíli smiled, "I was the older brother, after all."

A chill ran down Fíli's spine as a slight breeze blew through the open window of their small room. It was strange how, even though they were no longer in the forest, the feeling of being watched continued to plague him.

The inn in Celylas was relatively barren in contrast to the apparent slough of people who had come for the Harvest Festival not long before them. They'd decided to stay in the same room because their funds were low at best, but their need for warm food and suitable stables for the tired horses were too dire to ignore.

"I imagine I won't be spared this time, either," Fíli sighed, carefully slipping the Mallos back into his pack before his companions noticed it. "My uncle will have my head by journey's end."

"You wouldn't have done it if you didn't think it was necessary," Lia shrugged, swigging the ale. Tristan grunted and punched her arm, snatching the mug away.

"That's mine you unholy leach," he growled. Lia shrugged and turned her attention back to her bread. Fíli frowned as the crumbs fell onto the blankets of the bed where she was perched. She followed his scowl and smirked, grinding the crumbs into the blanket for good measure. Fíli straightened his face but couldn't help glancing at the untamed red curl that fell over her right eye.

"Well," Tristan huffed, "Since this one decided to make off with all the stout, I'm going to go fetch myself a few pints at the house pub. You two should get some sleep so you'll be ready to leave in the morning bright."

"And how will you be prepared if you get drunk?" Fíli crossed his arms in disapproval.

"Don't worry about me, dwarf," the boy chuckled, "I never miss a sunrise."

And with that Tristan was gone, leaving the room starkly quiet in his absence. Fíli grunted and turned his back on the door and on Lia, preparing his bed for a decent night's rest. He was certainly surprised then when a pair of arms wrapped themselves around his waist.

"What in Durin's name—" he spun around to find Lia's face an inch from his, a dangerous smirk on her face. "Get off of me."

"Is that really what you want?" she tested. She was only slightly taller then him, but Fíli felt she was much higher then any human he'd ever met. "I feel like you and I have some unfinished business."

The celebration.

It seemed so long ago that he and Lia, or Yune, had run wildly through the alleys with drunken laughter and flushed cheeks. Fireworks and acrobats danced though the skies and streets alike that night, and for a short time the atmosphere filled their blood with youthful invincibility. But it had ended so swiftly at the sight of Kíli's arrow that the contrast stung even in memory.

Fíli found his eyes trained on the wild curl once more as her eyes watched him carefully. He opened his mouth to tell her that yes; he did want her to release him. That he wasn't captivated by her in that way. But the moment he took a breath Lia's lips connected with his and Fíli found himself suddenly utterly breathless.

Lia released his mouth a moment, and Fíli had every intention of speaking, but then their lips met again and he decided it was useless. Her arms tightened around him and his fingers tangled themselves into her wild hair. Her lips were softer then he'd have thought possible, and their sensation made his palms feel like paper.

Stop Fíli!

It took every ounce of self-discipline that he had to pull away, placing a hand between them. "Lia…"

"What?" she growled, frustrated with his interruption. Why did anger always win out with this girl?

"I…we…" What happened to all the words he used to know how to use?

She held up a hand, the angry flush in her cheeks fading. "I'm not an idiot, I do understand." She turned away from him then, grabbing the poker for the mantel and fixing the fire that burned dully in their small room. Fíli felt much colder than he should and retired to sit on his bed, facing away from Lia as he took inventory of all his weapons.

Everything in order, so Fíli blew out the candle on the table by his bed and burrowed into the blankets, sighing at the relief that came with sleeping in a real bed for once. The fire dimmed and the room became quite dark as Lia went about and blew out the rest of the candles. Fíli listened to her footsteps traversing the floor and smirked when she stubbed her toe, cursing under her breath. He was surprised then, when the weight on his bed shifted.

"Wh—"

"Relax," she murmured, tugging the blanket over her shoulders, "There's two beds and I don't fancy sharing one with a drunk Tristan when he comes back."

Fíli grunted and shifted to give her room, rolling over to face her. She didn't look at him, but immediately tucked herself against his chest, once again catching him off guard. With an embarrassed smile, Fíli folded one arm under his head and draped the other awkwardly over Lia's torso, his chin resting on the tickly mess of her hair. It was a chilly night, and she was warm after all.

If Thorin could see me now, he thought ruefully. He smiled at the thought of his uncle's possible reaction and closed his eyes, drifting away into sleep.


"You're eye looks like a huge blueberry," Millí grimaced, prodding Gimli's swollen face with her finger. He flinched and knocked her hand away. They hadn't taken much time to take stock of their injuries since they awoke near the riverbank, having been trekking the forest to find aid. Each bore a thick wooden staff as a weapon, though if they encountered anything more sinister than a weasel they probably wouldn't do them any good. Gimli turned to look at Millí when his eyes fell on the ragged marks encompassing her neck and the puffy cut on her cheek. The bridge of her nose was an odd shade of blue and sported a gash from when she hit in on a rock. She raised an eyebrow at him as his words died in his mouth.

"Do I really look that bad?" she asked, tightening her grip on her staff. Gimli muttered a few incoherent words, gesturing to his own neck before giving up and shrugging.

"You'll be fine," he answered finally. Millí nodded in affirmation and turned to face the trees ahead as well.

"So will you," she agreed, swallowing her discomfort. For the first time since she could remember, Millí felt truly and genuinely exhausted. Beyond the obvious battering her face and neck had taken, her body felt beaten from the river rapids and her feet ached from the harsh forest floor. Both her and Gimli had lost their boots to the water, so navigating the terrain was just that much more difficult now that they were vulnerable to thorns and sharp roots.

"How long do you think it's been?" Gimli sighed after some time, dropping his tired eyes to the ground. He seemed to be faring better than Millí, but the beating he'd received from Gris and the river were taking their toll on his dexterity.

"I'm not sure, two days? Three?" Millí replied quietly.

Gimli nodded grimly and tore some birch bark from a tree as they passed. The chunk was thick, so he discarded the white layer as they walked, eventually tearing the remaining pink bark into ribbons and handing a portion to Millí. She took it silently, grimacing at the crude meal.

They chewed on the bark with disinterest for a time, each refusing to admit they were too tired to keep walking. Millí eventually gave up on the remaining birch bark and steadied her famished frustration with a deep breath. Her vision then doubled and pitched unsteadily, so she quickly slipped her hand into Gimli's. He smiled and squeezed it affectionately, so she forced a smile back to hide her weakness.

They stumbled along that way for quite some time as the atmosphere turned gold in the sun's beginning descent. Millí's eyes were going cross with fatigue when Gimli turned to her with a guilty look on his face.

"Millí," he started in a quiet voice, "Would you be opposed to resting a moment?"

Thank Mahal, finally.

"Sure, if you need it," she answered coolly. Gimli nodded and the pair collapsed into a patch of grass beneath a large oak tree. The blue shadows under Millí's eyes hadn't gone unnoticed by Gimli, and he smirked in triumph as she fell instantly asleep with her face smooshed against the trunk of the tree.

"I knew you were tired," he teased, prodding her dirty feet. She murmured in her sleep and aimed a kick that he easily avoided. With a quiet hiss of pain, Gimli laid his stiff body out on the grass and closed his eyes, too spent to keep watch of their small camp.

It seemed they'd slept less than a minute before the sky darkened and the trees around them began to rustle. Millí woke to the sound of a branch snapping, finding the culprit's yellow eyes glaring at her from the darkness.

"Gimli wake up," she hissed, gripping his arm. She grabbed her staff in her other hand and readied herself for a fight. She had absolutely no intention of dying tonight, but she was going to need all the help she could get.


Fíli turned the Mallos over and over, biting his lip nervously as he waited for Lia to return from scouting ahead. His horse stomped impatiently, snorting as Fíli stroked its neck. Tristan's face was a clean slate as he glared out into the trees, though his hand teetered at the hilt of his knife. Fíli tried to swallow his excited anticipation.

They'd found Demetrius.

Or, at least they thought they might have. Given Fíli's tendency to end up in the wrong caravan, Lia decided she should scout ahead and make sure that they had the right group. He had no idea what the plan was if it really was Demetrius, but that hardly mattered. He'd figure it out.

It seemed like hours had gone by before Lia emerged from the trees with a tight expression. "That's them, alright," she informed them, picking a branch from her hair. "I'd recognize that belly of his anywhere."

"My brother! Did you see my brother amongst them? He's a dwarf like me with shaggy brown hair and—"

Something flickered in Lia's eyes, but all she did was shake her head. "It's dark and they've stopped for camp. It's difficult to tell who anyone is."

Fíli bit back his disappointment and fear. Maybe Kíli was already gone? Maybe he was traded off or worse.

"We have to go to him," Fíli said firmly, gripping the Mallos tightly in his fist.

"The dilemma is getting into the camp unnoticed," Tristan sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Did you see a way in, Lia?"

The girl winced again, this time barely hiding her discomfort with the conversation. What was she hiding?

"There is a way in," she replied slowly, darting her eyes between Tristan and Fíli, "But—"

There was a loud rustling in the trees to Fíli's left, startling him. He scrambled to retrieve his sword from its sheath when a strange whistling sound came from his right. He turned in time to see the bolas wrap its way around his arm, the weights forcing it tightly enough to cut off his circulation. Fíli's horse whinnied nervously and started to tramp, making the dwarf's condition even more difficult.

"A little help you two?" he cried as the horse began to turn in a circle. A second bolas came from the left, wrapping around his other arm and pinning it to his torso. In desperation, he slipped the Mallos from his hand and into the pack he had strapped to the saddle.

Why weren't they helping him?

Four figures emerged from the trees, descending on the angered dwarf and pulling him down into the dirt where he was pinned and arrested with his hands tied behind his back. Fíli spit out the portion of the forest he'd accidentally bit on his way down.

"Lia! Tristan! Help me!" He strained his head up enough to see Lia and Tristan staring down at him with tight expressions on their traitorous faces. Fíli roared in anger and struggled against his captors, only to receive an elbow to the spine.

"This is the lad, correct?" one of the attackers questioned, gesturing at Fíli. Lia nodded.

"Our peace offering to Demetrius."

The four figures scoffed, one of them downright laughing. "You two are going to be in quite a bit of trouble no matter how many gifts you bring. You truly lost a dragon egg? Do you have any idea how many slaves you'd have to sell to pay for a dragon egg?!"

Tristan bit his lip and shrugged. "We're family lads. We'll take our chances. This one's royalty and heir to the lost throne of Erebor, if that counts for anything."

"We'll see."

Fíli whipped out some choice language as someone tied his feet together, feeling the cold sting of betrayal ice his heart.

How could I have fallen for this? Why didn't I trust Thorin in the first place?

This can't be happening.

"On yer feet," one of the captors grunted, hauling Fíli up by the hair. The dwarf growled and gathered every bit of dirt left in his mouth, spitting it at the ginger pair of treacherous merchants who stood still as statues while Fíli fought against his bonds. Someone sent a blow that hit Fíli in the eye, but he could hardly care less. He couldn't believe how stupid he'd been to trust them. How could they…how could she…

But then he saw it. The smallest little wink Lia threw in his direction just as he was pulled away into the trees. Fíli furrowed his brow in confusion, forgetting to fight back against his attackers until his former companions were completely out of view. Was this all some sort of elaborate plan?

He would have to hope so, because the alternative is less than desirable.


That was it. He was going to kill him. When he got his hands on him he was going to kill him, bring him back to life, torture an explanation out of him, then kill him dead. Again.

Bifur picked up his axe and drove it into a tree, feeling anger with such potency it would curl his mustache. They'd been drugged, the whole lot of them. They'd been asleep for what seemed like two, maybe even three days. Fíli was gone and so were the ginger merchant brats. He'd hoped, prayed even, that Fíli had been kidnapped. That would have spared them all the trouble of blame placing, but there'd been no sign of struggle. All of Fíli's weapons were gone and his pack. The only thing he left behind was his shaggy pony and three wolf pups that had gotten into the field rations while they'd been unconscious.

"What kind of a leader can you call yourself when you can't even control your own kin?" Brent spat, his face red with anger. Thorin wasn't completely coherent yet, but the shame and anger on the king's face was evident to Bifur's eyes.

"Fíli's betrayal surprises me more than anyone else, rest assured," Thorin snarled. "When we find him—"

"When we find him?!" Brent towered over Thorin like on heavy tree. "Have you forgotten that my daughter is still trapped amongst those criminals? Not to mention the kin of several others from your party. And yet you waste our time chasing after your child of a nephew!"

"And if you were capable of navigating the mountains without our help, then my family would be none of your concern. As it is, you cannot find your own way so you will have to put up with my wayward nephew if you ever want to find your daughter."

"Is that a threat, dwarf?"

"Brent," Kendrick put a hand on his brother's shoulder, "Don't make this worse than it already is."

"Worse than it already is?" Brent turned to face his kin, both of whom still sported bleary red eyes from their extended sleep. "Those bastards made off with our money, our food is gone, and half of the horses broke their tethers and wandered off. It's incredible we weren't raided by orcs or goblins, exposed as we were. We could have all been gutted in our sleep and never known the difference, and now as we wake we find out our only way of locating the caravan made off into the forest with the whelp? How, Kendrick, can I make that worse?"

Kendrick looked lost for words, turning helplessly to Avery. The younger simply shrugged. "Things can always get worse," he remarked sullenly.

Bifur eventually stopped listening to the clan and turned his attention to the three puppies circling his feet.

"You think you're hungry?" he sighed, nudging one with his boot. "I haven't eaten for over two days now."

I wonder what wolf pup tastes like?

"Oh, confound it," he chuckled, rubbing behind their grey ears. He wouldn't dare eat the prince's new pets. But that meant he'd need to find something edible.

Where's Bofur or Bombur when you need them?

"Ori lad," Bifur grunted, finding the young dwarf hugging his knees with a bitter expression on his face. "Build a fire. I'm making a stew."

The young boy nodded and got up stiffly, retrieving branches from the ground. The group was going to need something substantial in their bellies if they were ever going to gather their bearings long enough to make a decision.

"I'll hunt some game," Dwalin offered, grabbing his throwing knives and axe. Bifur nodded and took to the forest in search of plant life he could throw in the stew.

It wasn't long before a large pot of water was simmering over the fire with various roots and mushrooms—hopefully edible—thrown in. Dwalin emerged from the trees with a pheasant and rabbit, shrugging at the suggestion that the two may taste odd together.

"Ori lad, go fetch more firewood before this dies," Era chided, poking the ashy logs with a stick. The boy nodded and took once more to the edge of the trees.

"He's barely spoken a word since his return," Nori sighed, watching his little brother disappear.

"He's quiet lad," Oin agreed. Bifur was about to agree as well, when suddenly Ori's horrified and absolutely loud scream rang over the darkened forest.


Fíli wriggled against his captors, but remained mostly nonviolent as he was marched into the colorful caravan he recognized now all too well. Torches burned with little regard for what the flames could attract, and various happy and not so happy chatter filled the air. Lia and Tristan now marched in front of the group with nervous looks on their faces and their fists clenched. Many curious eyes turned their way as they walked, though no one spoke to them.

They must really be in trouble.

Fíli swung his head about the camp, searching for any signs of Kíli. He had to be here somewhere, but what if he was locked inside a wagon somewhere? What if they kept them completely separate and he never got to see him?

His heart dropped as he realized his pack was bouncing on the back of one of the merchants that walked stiffly beside Lia and Tristan. How was he going to save Kíli now?

That's when they were led past a massive cluster of despondent people in shaggy clothing and chains around their wrists and ankles, tethering them to trees, poles, and wagons. They glared at him in pity and bitterness as he stumbled by them.

Kíli, where are you?

Millí, Bofur, and Gimli were nowhere to be seen and Fíli started to panic. Maybe they were wrong? Maybe this was the wrong caravan…

The group stopped outside a particularly colorful wagon with green, yellow, and gold fabric decorating the frame.

"Wait here," one of the men commanded the group, "I'll speak to Demetrius first."

With that he disappeared into the decadent wagon, leaving the siblings, the captors, and Fíli alone to wait outside. Across the camp, a fire burned dimly and the merchants surrounding it were roasting meat on sticks and chattering quietly. Something moved behind them, and Fíli narrowed his eyes to see it better.

No.

Fíli felt like he'd been hit with a ton of bricks. Kíli was tied to a pole, slightly obscured by the shadows and smoke of the fire. His head hung loosely on his neck and his hair covered his face, but Fíli would know his brother anywhere.

"Kíli!" he cried, not caring about the consequences of his outburst, "Kíli!"

Either Kíli didn't hear him or he couldn't hear him, because his brother didn't so much as flinch. So Fíli took the next logical step and got louder.

"KILI! Kíli answer me!"

That time it worked. Kíli's head snapped up to attention, his eyes darting back and forth across the camp.

"Fee…Fíli?!"

"Kee!"

The blonde dwarf thrashed and writhed, determined to get to his brother by any means necessary. He ducked his chin and bit one of the merchant's hands, receiving a solid strike to the face in return.

"It's like holdin' on to a damn fish," one of the men complained, eventually kicking out Fíli's knees and resigning to pinning him to the ground with his knees. The dwarf spit and swore and struggled, but someone was on his legs and another on his back and arms. He hated how defenseless he felt.

"How did you lot get 'im to come with you so easily?" the blonde boy growled, struggling to keep Fíli's feet on the ground. Tristan's mouth drew into a thin line, the look of pity on his face making Fíli see red. Lia, however, looked cool and composed as ever.

"We lied," she said simply. Fíli swore at her so loudly that someone risked his fingers in order to shove a gag in his mouth. He managed to spit it out and continued to curse at threaten at the top of his lungs.

"At the rate he's going, he's going to have an entire camp of orc raiders on us by morning," someone complained. Suddenly a new set of boots stopped in front of Fíli and all the captors silenced. A tall and icy man knelt down and wrapped his fingers into Fíli's hair, yanking him upwards against the weight of his adversaries. The dwarf hissed as he felt his scalp bruise with the recent abuse, but kept his eyes fierce when they met those of his new opponent.

"Pathetic," the man murmured. Fíli couldn't figure out if he was talking about himself or his previous captors.

Doesn't matter.

The dwarf aimed a kick right at the man's shins, but he dodged it easily.

"You seem to care about that boy over there," the man said in a cooled tone, "Unless you would like to watch me brand him I suggest you stay still and quiet."

Just then the young man who'd disappeared into Demetrius' wagon emerged and gestured for Tristan and Lia to follow. The siblings looked at one another nervously, but left all the same. Before reentering, the young man pivoted to address the terrifying man holding Fíli. "Gris, sir, Master Demetrius said to allow the dwarf to visit his brother." Fíli's heart leapt as the man let out a low, rumbling breath of frustration. His weathered hands took the blonde by his scruff and steered him at an unbearably slow pace to where Kíli was waiting, watching them with desperate eyes. Fíli could barely contain himself as they approached the fire pit, silencing those who had gathered around it. Gris finally released his grip on Fíli's neck, nearly pushing him into the flames in the process.

"Don't try anything or you'll get him killed," the man warned. "Slowly."

Fíli barely heard him as he staggered past the shocked merchants until he reached the base of Kíli's tether, his mouth open in silent disbelief.

"Fee," Kíli groaned, red-rimmed eyes meeting Fíli's blues. The older of the two gaped a moment longer, unable to find the right words to say. Kíli looked horrible. Bruises and scrapes littered his body, his entire upper half exposed to the weather, sweat ran from his head and down his neck, coating him in its sheen. Dark circles encompassed his brother's tired eyes and Fíli could hardly tell if they were from exhaustion or from abuse. The way that Kíli was leaned away from the pole with is hands positioned uncomfortably high above his head exposed what looked like several whip patterns on his back and shoulders, along with a thick bandage wrapped around his chest. His lip was split and his cheekbone bore a dark bruise.

And this was just what Fíli could assess at a glance.

"Oh, Kee," he dissolved, wishing to Mahal that his hands weren't bound behind him so that he could brush the sweaty bangs from his brother's face. "Kíli I'm so sorry. More sorry than I could ever put into words."

"You certainly took your time," Kíli admitted with a fleeting smile. "How did you…"

"I'll explain later," Fíli whispered, not trusting the people surrounding them. "What happened to you? Where are the others?"

Kíli made an odd noise in his throat as his head lolled, his eyes turned towards the grass.

"Kíli? Are you all right?"

Fíli heart clenched as his brother drew in a shaky breath. He could see now that Kíli was trembling all over his entire body.

"Answer me Kee."

"Millí and Gimli are gone," he rasped miserably, "Bofur's still here somewhere. We…we tried to escape and now we're in trouble."

Fíli shook his head at the bruises littering his brother's body. They were going to pay for this one way or another.

What did he mean…gone?

"You're shaking," Fíli groaned, watching as the tremors increased in ferocity.

Kíli's voice was quieter now as his tired head remained a limp bobble on his neck. "I'm so cold, Fíli."

The blonde dwarf clenched his jaw against the guilt and sympathy he felt for his brother. Not knowing what else to do, he tucked his head against the crook of Kíli's neck, hissing at the heat radiating off of the younger's skin.

"I'm going to fix this," Fíli promised, moving to press his forehead to Kíli's. "Don't worry."

"…Fíli, I—" I'm not fine.

Kíli was cut off as Gris took his brother by the back of his neck and steered him away. Their eyes met once before the pair disappeared into Demetrius's wagon.

Should I even tell him?

Kíli shivered violently in the night air and closed his eyes. Somehow, he felt Fíli already knew.


-Author Note-

Okay, really sorry about the wait. I have no intention on giving up on the story, this semester just really kicked me in the teeth right off the bat. So there, that's my excuse. Hope you're all still with me, you're comments were inspiring! And sorry if the chapter seemed rushed.

On a brighter note, if you guys would like to see two of my drawings from this story (there's more unfinished), check out my Deviantart account: L-Rose-C. Or go to the "link": http [colon slash slash] w w w [period] deviantart [period] c o m [slash] art [slash] Rescue [dash] 478844229 and then just look at the 'more from l-rose-c for the other.