Sam paused outside of the door to Jack's infirmary room trying to gather her nerves. She felt like a giddy little school girl at the senior quarter back's front door. With a deep breath she opened the door and walked in. She was happy to see Jack sitting in the recliner and scooping a bite of blue Jell-O from a bowl instead of being in the bed which always drove home how sick he was. Her heart skipped a beat when he looked up at her and smiled.

"Hey, Carter! Come on in and take a load off," Jack greeted her cheerfully then laid the spoon on the tray with a trembling hand, leaving his IV line trailing behind his arm. He glanced nervously up at Sam, hoping that she didn't notice how much he was shaking. Doc had told him that the substance from the worm had affected his nervous system and now he had something similar to Parkinson's disease. It was just one more strike against him as far as being with Sam was concerned.

Sam smiled and walked across the room then sat down in the chair across from Jack's, "Thank you, Sir."

"Carter?"

"Yes, Sir?"

"My name is Jack. I'm no longer in the Air Force so drop the sir."

"Yes, Sir. Jack. Sorry," Sam sputtered.

Teal'c took this as cue that it would be a good time to leave and let these two talk. He maybe an alien to this world, but even he could tell when love was in the air.

"I will return your tray for you, O'Neill," Teal'c said as he bent over and picked up the tray.

"You don't have to. They'll come for it then like they always do," Jack replied.

"It is no trouble, O'Neill. It is time for me to have my evening meal as well."

"Thanks, T."

Teal'c gave a nod and left the room. In a way Jack was glad that he was alone with Sam because if she turned him down then they'd be the only witnesses to his humiliation. That little nagging voice in his head told him to forget about it, just talk to her about the weather or her latest project. He could think of a ton of reasons that she'd have to say no and not a single reason for to say yes. That would be especially so once she found out about the nervous system disease that now plagued him. He looked over at her sitting in her chair and nervously repositioning herself in the chair, her beautiful blue eyes watching him. That was all it took, it was do or die time. He tossed out any self-doubt that he had and went for it.

"Uh, Carter, I uh-," Jack paused as his mouth suddenly felt like it had become filled with cotton. Without thinking he reached up to grab his cup of water and just as he got it to his lips, his hand began to shake and the cup slipped from his grip spilling water all down his front, "Shit!"

Sam jumped up and grabbed a hand towel from the bedside table, "Let me help you."

"I'm fine!" Jack snapped as his cheeks burned with embarrassment.

Sam took a step back and looked down at him, "Jack, what's wrong?"

He couldn't look at her. The tremors were getting worse; nearly his whole body was twitching. It happened every time he was nervous. He closed his eyes and bowed his head. He could feel her looking at him; waiting for an answer. How could he tell her? What could he say? That on top of having a bad heart for the rest of his life, he'd forever be an ever shaking weakling? A vision of her running from the room and never seeing her again flashed through his mind. He felt her warm hand grab his chin and tilt his head up.

"Jack? Please open your eyes and talk to me," Sam's voice was thick with concern and it tugged at his heart.

With a deep breath, he opened his eyes. He swallowed the lump in his throat, "I- uh. I don't know where to start."

Sam let go of his chin, "Why don't I go and get Janet to come help you change into something dry and then we'll talk?"

"Okay," Jack answered quietly. "Come back?"

"Yes, Jack, I'm coming back."

Sam ran her hand along Jack's cheek before leaving the room. Jack felt like crying; the anger and frustration burning at his mind. Just as he'd got the chance and the nerve to tell her how much he loved her, he makes a mess of himself and the situation. Why did all the bad shit have to happen to him? Is he not allowed to love or to be happy? Was it his lot in life to be alone and miserable? He looked down at his wet, trembling body and shook his head sadly. A fully grown man barely able to feed himself, sitting here with a wet ass after spilling his drink on himself, having to sit and wait for someone to come help him change into dry clothes. It was a life that he didn't want to live himself and he had to no right to ask Sam to live it either. By the time Sam returned with Janet a few minutes later, he'd resigned himself to be a lonely cripple and a deep depression had settled in.

Janet walked up to his chair with a dry gown in hand, "Okay, Jack, let's get you sorted out."

"I'll wait out in the hall," Sam offered as she laid her hand on Jack's.

"Might as well stay. Momma bear'll need help changing baby bear," Jack replied dejectedly.

Sam looked at Janet, both knowing that Jack had went to that dark place and the battle to bring him back out of it would be long and hard. Janet gave her tight smile and shrugged her shoulders then sat the clean gown on the edge of Jack's bed. She walked over to the bathroom and grabbed a clean hand towel. Jack was still staring down at the floor when she returned to the chair. His tremors seemed to be easing up, but not by much. It was understandable for him to be upset because it was hard for him to be dependent on anyone.

"I'm just going to slide this towel up under here to cover your groin and then we'll get you changed," Janet told him as she slipped on a pair of rubber gloves.

Jack closed his eyes and rested his head on the back of the recliner while Janet slid the hand towel under his gown. He didn't open them back up until he felt her hand on his shoulder. Without having to be told, he leaned forward slightly so that she could untie the back of his gown. His cheeks burned with humiliation when she pulled the wet gown off of him and all he had on was the small hand towel covering his private area. That was nothing compared to the horror he felt when Sam gasped at the sight of the zipper looking incision running down the center of his chest.

Janet picked the fresh gown up off of the bed and unfolded it, "Sam, can you take this and hold it while I help him slide forward?"

"Sure," Sam replied as she took the gown from Janet.

"Alright, Jack, just lean on me and scoot," Janet instructed him and wrapped her arms around his sides under his armpits.

Jack grunted with effort as he slowly scooted forward, even with Janet's help it was hard for him to move. Making more than one motion at a time was a feat that was no longer on his list of God given abilities. So, he just sat there like a trembling rag doll and let them to what need to be done. He was putting some serious thought to having Janet transfer him to a care home. It would be easier to be cared for by total stranger who didn't know him than it would be to have his friends do it.

Janet held Jack steady as Sam tied the last knot on the back of his fresh gown, "Okay, Jack, let's go ahead and start get you sitting back. Unless you want to get into bed now?"

Jack looked up at her with horrified expression on his face. He couldn't bear the humiliation of Sam watching him struggle to walk a few small steps all the while holding him upright as though he were a toddler just learning to walk, "No, I'll just sit here for a while."

"Can I get you anything while I'm here?"

"No," Jack answered quietly.

Janet looked sadly at Sam then back to Jack, "I'll be in my office if you change your mind."

Jack watched Janet leave and when she was gone he looked at the floor. Anything so that he didn't have to look at Sam. He could almost bet that she was uncomfortable being in the same room with him and having to be near this sorry excuse for a man.

"Jack?" Sam's soft voice nearly made him jump out of his skin.

Jack kept his eyes to the floor, "What?"

"Tell me what you were going to say before you spilled your water."

"Nothing."

"Alright. Fine, I'll just tell you what I came here to say. I love you, Jack O'Neill. I'm sorry that this had to happen to you, but it doesn't change how I feel about you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

Jack looked up at her, "Why? Why would you want to put up with this for the rest of your life?"

"Because like I just told you, I love you. I've loved you since I first saw you." Sam paused and knelt down in front of Jack, lovingly cupping his cheek in her hand, "Jack, please believe me. I love you. I know that you think that I wouldn't want you because of this, but you are wrong. I wish that I'd had the nerve to tell you how I felt about you before. It was my loss. If you'll have me, I'd consider it an honor. I want take care of you, Jack."

"Sam, I love you too. That's what I was going to tell you before I made a total ass out of myself. I just don't think that it'd be fair for you to waste your time taking care of my worthless ass when you deserve to have a better life than that."

"Being with you is a better life for me, Jack! I can't imagine a better life than that."

Jack looked at her and saw the sincerity in her eyes, she really did love him. Though he honestly could understand why, he was happier than he'd been since the day Charlie was born. He reached out a shaky hand and when she took it, he brought to his lips to kiss it. With a smile on his face he looked back into her beautiful blue eyes, "Sam, if I died tomorrow I'd love you forever and die a very happy man."

Tears welled up in her eyes as he spoke; she stood and wrapped her arms around him. It felt like heaven to be so close; each one drinking in the other's scent. To them the world disappeared; it was only them and their love that existed now.

SG1SG1SG1

Jack didn't know what woke him. He looked at the clock to see that it was just past two in the morning and the lights in the infirmary were turned down. Something in the chair by his bed moved and he strained his eyes to see what it was.

"Sam?"

The object sat straight up in the chair and leaned into the light, it was his beloved Sam. He couldn't help but smile at the sight of her. Since they'd confessed their feelings for each other three weeks ago, she'd been his constant companion. They'd grown very close in such a short amount of time and it'd become almost as though they'd been together forever. He couldn't remember being so happy since the day his son was born. Sam was the sunshine in the darkness that had become his life. She made this all bearable and made him want to wake up in the mornings.

Sam jumped out of the chair and flipped the small light over Jack's bed on, "Jack? Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

"Water?"

Sam picked up the cup of iced water from Jack's table and held the straw to his lips, holding it there until he finished then sat it back on the table. She tensed up as Jack shifted his position in the bed. "Do you need anything else?"

"Gotta go to the bathroom," Jack replied as he tossed off his blankets.

Sam reached up to push the call button, "I'll get a nurse."

"Don't need one. Just pull that wheelchair over here and help me up."

"Jack? What if I drop you?"

Jack looked at her then burst out laughing, "You don't have to pick me up, Sam. I'm not a baby. Just support me."

His own last words sunk in and his smile disappeared. Hell he couldn't even go take a piss by himself.

"Jack, honey, what's wrong?"

Jack looked down at his lap and picked at an invisible lint ball on his gown, "I was wrong."

"About what?"

"I am a baby," he answered quietly.

Sam walked up to him and took a gentle hold of his chin, tilting his head up to face her. "Jack you are not a baby. It doesn't make you less of a person to have to ask for help when you need it. I'm here to help you, Jack, and it doesn't make me think any less of you to do it."

Jack still felt degraded, but her words made him smile, "Thanks."

"Ah, it was nothing. I do what I have to do when the man I love is being a bit down on himself." Sam kissed his forehead and smiled, "Now let's get you into the wheelchair and to the bathroom."

"Yes, boss."

Sam gave him a playful swat on the leg then pulled the wheelchair as close to the bed as she could get it. She helped him scoot to the edge of the bed then stand on shaky legs, holding him tightly as he turned and sat down in the wheelchair. She patted him on the shoulder then pushed him into the bathroom, flipping the light on as they went through the doorway.

After he was done, Sam took him back out to the bed and helping him back into it. She started to pull the covers up over him, but he stopped her. He looked at her with a smile and patted the bed.

"Join me?"

"I'd love nothing more, but what if someone comes in?"

"Who cares?"

Jack's heart fluttered when Sam smiled then climbed up in the bed beside him, relishing the feel of her warmth against him. He couldn't wait until the end of next week when he would go home with Sam at his side. She had already moved most of her stuff into his house while Daniel and Teal'c helped Siler install the grab bars and railings in Jack's house. He fell asleep with a smile on his face and the love of his life cuddled close to him.

SG1SG1SG1

Sam watched as Jack struggled with the walking frame, his face wet and dripping with sweat. It was a hard sight to see, Jack struggling to do something that most take for granted. It had taken him nearly twenty minutes to make it three- quarters of the way across the gym and he was already exhausted. The trembling weak state that the worm had left him in seemed to be a permanent condition and it upset him to say the least. He'd become frustrated when the tremors started and he'd have to struggle to do the simplest tasks. Janet had ordered a walking frame similar to what they used to teach people with traumatic brain injury to walk in hopes that it would be easier for him to walk, it helped but not much.

"Get my damn wheelchair over here!" Jack's angry shout echoed across the room, snapping Sam out of her revere.

"Jack, you have to be patient with yourself," Janet said trying in vain to quell her angry patient.

"You do it if you think it's so damned easy. Get me off this thing. I don't wanna do this anymore!" Jack barked at her.

Sam got up from her chair and walked over to him, placing a gentle hand on his arm. The madder he got, the more he shook and by the time she touched him he felt like a jackhammer on high speed.

"Jack, calm down. I know it's hard, but you have to try. You're doing great," Sam told him calmly.

"Yeah, doin' real great alright. I'm strapped to a fucking frame and shaking like a 10.0 earthquake. A two year old can walk better and faster than me. So, yeah, I'm doin' just peachy," Jack growled.

Sam rubbed his back in slow calming circles, "I know that you're frustrated, Jack, but yelling at me and Janet isn't going to help anything. If you settle down the shaking will ease up and you know that. Now, take a few deeps breaths and relax."

Jack did as he was told and within a few seconds the redness in his face had receded, but the tremors remained. It would take bit longer for them to go since he was so angry.

"Sorry, Sam. Doc," Jack's said quietly with his head down.

Janet smiled at him then laid her hand on his, "It's okay, Jack. I'd be angry too if I was in your situation. But, you need the exercise otherwise your leg muscles will waste away and you won't be able to walk at all or move for that matter. Aside from that you had a serious heart attack. You need the rehab to help your heart to heal and return to normal functioning."

"I know. I just hate this, it makes me feel so helpless."

"I know, sweetheart, but we're here to help you," Sam said sweetly then gave him a small kiss on the cheek.

Janet motioned for the nurse to bring Jack's wheelchair closer, "Let's get you into your wheelchair and take you back to your room for a shower."

Sam helped hold Jack up while Janet undid the straps then they eased him down into his wheelchair. It made for hard work because of the tremors, but Sam knew that it was harder on him than it was on them. He breathed a heavy sigh of relief when he was seated. She grabbed a hold of the chairs handles and steered him out of the gym with Janet and the nurse in tow.

SG1SG1SG1

Jack stared nervously at the ceiling while he held tightly to Sam's hand, the tremors causing his body to twitch. The cool air of the infirmary on his bare chest made goosebumps form on his skin. Though he thought that maybe they were more from anticipation of what was to come. It'd been six weeks since he'd had the heart attack and subsequent open heart surgery, so it was time to have the staples removed from his chest incision. He turned his head to the side to see Janet walking toward him with a stainless steel tray with various medical tools on it. The tray made a hollow clank when she sat it on the over the bed table nearly making Jack jump out of his skin.

"You tryin' to make me have another heart attack so that ya can keep me here?"

"Jack, that wasn't funny," Sam admonished him. He gave her an apologetic smile and soon found himself lost in her eyes.

"Are you ready to get started?" Janet asked as she prepared her supplies.

Jack tore his eyes off of Sam and turned his attention to Janet, "Ready as I'll ever be."

"This won't hurt, but it'll burn a little and you'll feel a pulling," Janet informed him then picked up a strange looking set of pliers. "Here we go."

Jack's grip on Sam's hand tightened and his tremors escalated slightly. He squeezed his eyes closed when Janet took hold of the first staple and began to pull. She was right, it burned but nowhere near as badly as he expected. Sam rubbed slow circles on the back of his hand with her thumb and he felt himself starting to relax just a little. He opened his eyes and looked at Sam. There was an odd expression on her face, almost a cross between disgust and fear with her eyes transfixed on what Janet was doing. Was she disgusted with him? Was she regretting making the decision to be with him? A nervous smile appeared on her lips when she caught him looking at her.

"Are you okay?"

Jack winced as Janet pulled another staple out toward the bottom of the incision, "Yeah."

"We're almost done here, Jack. Just a few more to go," Janet told him while dropping the staple she'd just removed into the small metal basin.

Jack closed his eyes again and tried to shove his doubts about Sam's love for him out of his mind. He only had to wait two more days until he could go home, home with Sam and they could talk.

SG1SG1SG1

A hush fell over the commissary when Sg-1 entered and made their way to a table just a few feet from the door. All eyes were on Jack as Sam pushed his wheelchair as close to the table as she could then patted him gently on the shoulder. She followed Teal'c and Daniel to the serving line, glaring at the room's occupants until they finally got the hint and stopped staring at Jack. Jack sat there and stared at the floor. He could hear the Marines at the next table whispering about him and he was quickly regretting his decision to come here to eat his dinner. The stares and whispers were making him nervous and the nervousness made the tremors come. He reached up and pushed himself back away from the table a bit so that his trembling knees would stop shaking the table and making the silverware clang. He jumped when a tray of food appeared on the table before him.

Sam sat down in the chair on the right side of Jack's wheelchair and pushed the tray closer to Jack, "Here you go, Jack. I even got you a nice big piece of chocolate cake for desert."

"Thanks," Jack said quietly, keeping his head down toward his shaking legs.

"Honey, are you okay?" Sam asked as she looked at him with concern.

Jack looked up at her and managed a small, pathetic smile, "I'm fine. Just got a bit of the shakes is all."

Sam patted his hand and gave him a reassuring smile. The Marines continued to stare at Jack and murmur as SG-1 ate their meal. It had long ago evolved from an embarrassment for Jack to a flat out annoyance. By the time he finished his meal and was getting ready to dig into his cake he was shaking with anger. The rude comments about his disability and relationship with Sam had taken their toll. He dug into the cake with his fork and brought it toward his mouth, his hand trembling to the point where he barely had control over it. Just as he got it near his mouth, the cake plopped down into his lap with a moist plop.

The Marine sitting closest to Jack burst out laughing and pointed at Jack, "Hey, look at that! The shaky old fly boy missed his big mouth. Guess the little misses will have to change his diaper for him."

This caused his cronies to howl in laughter and Jack's blood to boil, "Yeah well at least I don't have to get my mommy to do it for me, jar head."

The laughter stopped and the ring leader stood from his seat. With his fists clenched, he stomped toward Jack's wheelchair, "You stupid son of a bitch! It's a damn shame that the heart attack didn't kill you. I-"

His words were cut off when Daniel's fist slammed right into his mouth and knocked him to the floor. The room went dead silent and stared in shock. Jack's eyes and mouth hung wide open, had he really just witnessed Daniel the nerd knock a Marine on his ass?

The rest of the Marines at the table stood and began to walk toward Jack, Teal'c quickly stood in their path.

"It would not be wise for you to come any farther as you may suffer the same fate as your friend," Teal'c said in stern tone, glaring down at the three men.

Sam looked down at the man on the floor as he nursed his bloody nose and smiled, "Sorry about your fall, Lieutenant Kraemer. You should really watch where you're going."

Teal'c nodded at the three Marines left standing, without a word they hurried over to their friend and helped him to his feet. Jack smiled as he watched them leave the commissary. He looked over at Daniel who was still rubbing his knuckles.

"Great job, Danny Boy. Didn't know ya had it in ya," Jack said proudly.

"Yeah, well," Daniel replied.

They finished their desserts while chatting cheerfully. The incident with the Marines had made Jack feel a little better. Maybe he needed to release his tension more often and not hold it in. Although, he'd have to find a different way of doing it because as much as he'd love to, he couldn't go around assaulting Marines; or having Daniel do it for him.