Chapter: 7 - Revelation
Word Count: 6151
Notes: Predictably, I'm being horrible about reviews again this week. It's been all migraines and crazy hours and falling asleep by 8:30. (In case you haven't noticed, I'm a party animal. :P) So I'm sorry and I'm running far behind.
That being said, I hope this chapter makes up for it. This is the penultimate chapter, so I'm trying to build something you've probably been waiting for since the beginning. I hope you guys enjoy it! Thanks so much for reading—and I'm always grateful if you want to leave a review! :)
"Four to three," Oliver calls out as Thea holds one Roy Harper at the end of her stick, applauding his sister's performance today. She's worked hard over the past few months, going through partner after partner, but today paid off. He's not the only one smiling; Thea looks as though she just discovered the existence of magic and, as she helps him up, Roy flashes her a grin, too.
"Looks like you have a partner, Thea," Oliver continues with a smile—one that doesn't even falter when she hugs Roy. "You two need to go down to J-Tech and get fitted for your Drivesuits." Thea rushes to hug him, too, before running off, and he just smiles after her. He understands the elation perfectly; he smiled like that a year ago when his own combat trial ended on a note of success.
In some ways, it seems impossible that over a year has passed since he and Felicity took to the mats with uncertainty. For the past ten months, they've been taking down Kaiju together, with fourteen kills to their run already. Though the escalating emergence of Kaiju is troubling, they've still managed to emerge from the Breach victorious, despite a few injuries and pieces of broken equipment.
Perhaps even more surprising is the publicity that comes with it. While he's familiar with being in the spotlight as a Jaeger pilot, the media circuit roared to life after the Green Arrow took down two Category Fours without any backup. For some kid with a smartphone, excitement over the battle outweighed self-preservation, and he had filmed the whole thing. When the world learned the truth, it was met with disbelief, and it was only then that the two Rangers had agreed to interview. The public was reacquainted with a far different Oliver Queen, and they finally met Felicity Smoak.
And, not unlike Oliver himself, they were enamored with her.
Now that the frenzy has started to die down, he's finally able to catch his breath. Now that the publicity nightmare is over, he doesn't have to deal with the panic attacks just before he walks onto the stage, though his nightmares will always haunt him and sometimes he still wonders what he's doing back in the Shatterdome after Tommy. But despite that, things are better than they've been since Tommy's death, and that shows promise.
Now, he's no longer afraid to hope.
As the group of spectators around the ring starts to dissipate for lunch, Oliver starts to push through them for the cafeteria. Today's their day, the one day a week where he and Felicity go to the hangar for lunch, just the two of them. While sometimes their circle of friends—well, Felicity's circle of friends—join them in the hangar, they've seemed to learn that Fridays are their days.
He's almost out of the training area when a voice calls his name. When he turns, he already knows who it is; Ray Palmer is easy to distinguish in the din of voices because he spends so much time talking to the pilots. Though he's interested in piloting himself, he also does a lot of work on the neural bridge between pilot and Jaeger.
The reason Oliver frowns, however, is because Ray Palmer's main interest seems to be Felicity.
While Felicity's personal life is her own and only on the periphery of his life, it's something they've talked about in great detail. Oliver's attempt to date McKenna Hall had been met with complicated results due to Drifting, and it had pulled down their alignment percentage temporarily. Since then, they'd both agreed that dating was out of the question until they were forced into retirement.
Fighting back a sigh, Oliver asks in the most cordial tone he can manage, "What can I help you with, Ray?" Judging by Ray's expression, he doesn't quite succeed, but the Ranger instructor has places to be. Then again, it could be that the scientist is always guarded since Oliver kicked his ass at combat trials a year ago.
"I wondered if I could talk to you for a minute?" He looks around at the crowd filtering out of the room. "Um, privately?" Oliver only quirks an eyebrow as the last of the room filters out, crossing his arms to wait silently. Ray swallows unnecessarily hard. "I just, um… I kind of wanted to ask you a quick question. It's about Felicity, but I didn't want to make her uncomfortable by asking."
Oliver immediately uncrosses his arms, expression clearing. While he doesn't always appreciate Ray, he can't say no to any questions directed at him to prevent Felicity's discomfort. "Of course," he replies immediately. Ray releases a breath, some of the color returning to his face. "I'll answer if I can."
The scientist runs a hand through his hair. "I was just wondering if Felicity is seeing anyone," he admits in a quiet tone. "I've tried to hint at it a few times, but she never really responds, and I wanted to know if I was…" He motions toward Oliver, the action implying a whole lot more than any words could. "Interfering with anything," he finishes lamely.
Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, the Jaeger pilot replies, "Ray, Felicity and I are partners. Friends. You know as well as I do that relationships have no place in the Drift." Though he doesn't seem to believe him, Ray nods once. "Felicity isn't seeing anyone." He doesn't add that she has no desire to change that; after all, it's Felicity's life, and Oliver isn't going to stand in the way of it. And if it gives him the opportunity of watching her turn him down, all the better.
"Thanks," Ray replies, and the veteran Ranger nods once.
Turning, Oliver is surprised to find Thea leaning against one of the support columns, arms crossed over her chest in the picture of idle rich boredom. Despite that, he knows his sister well enough to realize when there's something on her mind; her fingers drum against her arm. "You hate that guy," she declares out of nowhere. "And you sure as hell hate the idea of anyone with Felicity." Oliver opens his mouth to protest, but she doesn't let him. "So why were you nice to him?"
"Felicity makes her own choices, Thea," is all he says, and she quirks an eyebrow at him. "I don't hate the idea of anyone with Felicity—I hate the idea of anyone treating her with less respect than she deserves." Thea snorts, rolling her eyes. Finally, he admits, "And because relationships make it harder for us to align properly, we've decided to limit that."
"So, basically," his sister paraphrases as she pushes off of the wall, "you knew she'd turn him down, so you decided it wouldn't hurt to let him strike out." She grins. "I know how you are, Ollie. You threw my first boyfriend out of the house because he kissed me. You protect the people you care about—even when they don't need it."
"What do you want, Thea?" he demands, already tired of this discussion.
Her expression falters, and she bites her bottom lip. "Just a question," she hedges. "I don't really know anything about the Drift, but your better half helped design it and you've Drifted a thousand times before." Waving a hand, she finally asks, "How do you hide things from your Drift partner?"
Feeling his brow furrow, Oliver answers, "You don't, Speedy." Her own brow knits together at that, clearly troubled by the response. He thought she knew this—it's one of the most basic tenets of the Drift. "That's why it takes a strong bond to make a Drift work. You share everything—good and bad." He sighs. "It's also a curse sometimes. The reason Slade and I couldn't Drift anymore is because I knew he loved Shado, but I went after her anyway. It destroyed us."
Thea's disquiet fades into confusion, but she doesn't try to speak. Assuming she needs to think about this before asking any more questions, Oliver brushes past her, toward the mess hall for a tray. Now more than ever, he wants to see Felicity, to discuss the two new Jaegers, Coyote Tango and the Red Arrow that Thea and Roy will be piloting if their test alignment is high enough.
He's two steps away when she calls out, "Then why doesn't Felicity know you're in love with her?"
It stops him in his tracks. For months, he's been skirting around the edges of this, trying desperately to keep both of those ideas away from one another. His feelings would only complicate their Drift ability, maybe even make things tense between them. And Oliver can safely say that's the last thing he wants.
Instead of responding, he simply stares at his sister, and she scoffs. "Please, Ollie. You're my brother and I know you." She points at him. "It's in the little things. It's when she speaks and you focus on nothing but her. It's the way you touch her, constantly gripping a shoulder or kissing her cheek." Her expression softens a little, a smile turning Thea's mouth upward. "It's in the way you smile at her when you think no one is looking." He only stares at her and she adds in a challenge, "Deny it, if you want."
"I'd never," Oliver answers quietly. To his surprise, Thea breaks out into a wide grin. "She doesn't know because I didn't want to upset her." Suddenly he finds it impossible to look at her, choosing to stare at the arena instead. "We work together, Speedy."
In response, his sister snorts. "Ollie, you're ridiculous," she declares, rolling her eyes for reasons he doesn't understand. "Remember when your… thing with McKenna screwed up your alignment percentage with Felicity?" Of course he does. It had terrified him; he thought he'd managed to destroy his ability to Drift with her, too. "Did you ever wonder why?" At his blank expression, she sighs. "It wasn't because of you, Ollie. It was because Felicity didn't like seeing you with someone else. If you're smart enough to hide your desire to make babies with her"—he flinches at her wording—"Felicity sure as hell is smart enough to do the same, Ollie."
Running a hand over his face, he asks his sister, "Do you have any idea what happens when romance enters the Drift, Thea?" Her frown is answer enough. "Felicity has worked hard for this. She's wanted to be a pilot for years and been ignored and dismissed because she's brilliant. Anyone with Drift compatibility and a partner can Drift, but very few can do what she does." Crossing his arms, he adds quietly, "She won't Drift without me."
"Because she loves you, you idiot," Speedy declares.
Suddenly the context of their conversation comes rushing back, and Oliver realizes where the originally came from. Thea rarely ever gives him relationship advice, and she started by asking a single question—for advice. "Is this about Roy?" he asks her, his tone soft. Her inability to look him in the eye gives him the answer he needs. "You could do a lot worse, Speedy."
Before she manages to respond, he walks away; already he knows she'll need time to process his response and her own feelings. (Mostly he knows this because he needs the same.) For the first time, he dreads facing Felicity now, with these feelings lingering between them. Perhaps they were there before, but it was much easier to think his feelings were unrequited.
As if to answer his prayers, the siren blares, red lights flashing overhead. For the first time in his Ranger career, Oliver finds himself relieved by the call. Felicity is already their changing area of the Drivesuit room when he enters, their urgency affording them little privacy. She's half-dressed, the one-piece circuitry suit hanging around her hips, clothed from the waist upward in only a red bra and her dog tags.
Oliver doesn't know whether to laugh or groan.
She looks up as he enters, meeting his eyes with a tight, nervous smile. Her nose doesn't sit quite right since she broke it on their first mission, making an odd contrast from the rest of her in some ways. With the bright lipstick and the streaks of pink, purple, and turquoise through her hair, that broken nose hints at an underlying strength that overwhelmed him before. It suits her.
He responds to her smile with one of his own before averting his eyes, switching into his own circuitry suit. Like always, they're quiet at first, but as his nervous energy fades into hers, it agitates her. While he lapses into silence when anxious, Felicity prefers to speak. "I've never been so glad to hear the Kaiju alarm in my life," she declares. "When the siren went up, I think Ray was attempting to ask me out." Somehow Oliver manages to remain quiet. "I would have hated to turn him down—he's a good friend, but only a friend."
His silence must speak volumes because Felicity makes a sound in her throat. "And you knew," she accuses.
"He might have mentioned something," he replies in a careful tone. Even without turning, he can feel her arching an eyebrow at his back. "He asked me if you were seeing anyone because he didn't want to make you uncomfortable."
"And probably because we haven't quite shaken that rumor that we're sleeping together," Felicity replies bluntly, causing him to choke on air for a moment. "But you let him walk away thinking he has a shot." Again Oliver silent, and something smacks him in the back of the head: her bra. Apparently she hasn't tired of throwing her clothes at him when she's mad. "And you did it on purpose."
"Your life, your choice, Felicity," he answers in an even tone. "I know we discussed it, but I'm not going to stand in your way." He folds the undergarment she threw at him and places it with his own folded clothes, which is far better treatment than it's used to; Felicity nests in her spaces, resulting in cluttered desks and her floor full of dirty laundry.
"I know," she replies with a smile in her voice. A door creaks as she slams her locker shut. "And for the most part, I like that about you. But from now on, if you have to field questions from potential suitors, you can tell them I'm not interested."
Taking a chance with Speedy's words rolling around in his head, he can't help but take a risk. Zipping the circuitry suit halfway up and slamming his own locker closed, he warns her, "I don't want to do that to your reputation." He turns to gauge her expression before adding, "If I start chasing away your admirers, they're going to think it's because we're together."
"Let them," she remarks with a challenge in her voice.
Something passes between them that he doesn't know how to describe. She crosses her arms over her chest in the skin-tight suit, and, so faintly Oliver thinks he imagines it, her eyes darken. She smirks before walking up to him, pulling his zipper the rest of the way to his collar. For a moment the heat is so palpable he thinks there might be some truth to it, but then a locker slams in the background and they both jump apart, moving to exit the area.
"It's a Category Five," she finally says with gravitas. "First ever."
"A Kaiju is a Kaiju," Oliver answers as they step out. Others start to filter into the locker areas, and Sara salutes him before whistling at Felicity. "This one will be bigger and faster than what we're used to. We'll have to fight smarter—brute force isn't going to take this thing down." He offers a slight uptick of his lips in a smile. "That won't be a problem for you."
"Don't sell yourself short," Felicity answers as their Drive techs start bolting the sections of their armor shells into place. "Your Drifting with me—I'm sure some of my genius has rubbed off on you." She winks as his technicians, Cisco and Curtis, snort at her words.
Another of the technicians, Caitlin, steps in to help Felicity with her own, and Ray steps up as the second technician on her suit. Of course. Oliver refrains from rolling his eyes. "I think my… tenaciousness has rubbed off on you," he counters with a slight smile. "You're more difficult every time we Drift."
In a very mature form of response, she answers by sticking her tongue out at him. He opens his mouth to continue teasing her, but he notices Ray's eyes raking over Felicity's figure. Though he finds it understandable, the Drive tech isn't subtle, and heat rises to her face as she attempts to ignore it.
"Ray?" he calls out all hint of humor leaving his voice. Even to his own ears, it sounds hard and cold. His eyes meet Oliver's, and he pales a little. "Is there a problem?"
Palmer flinches at the tone, quickly excusing himself and trading duties with Patty, one of Felicity's more routine technicians. "My hero," Felicity says in a mordant tone, rolling her eyes. She cuts him a look of rebuke, but Oliver stares back, unrepentant. After a moment, she sighs. "Look, as much as I appreciate your ability to say 'I will murder you' in one glance, you didn't have to scare him. I mean, his staring was kind of creepy, but there had to be another way to convince him he's coming on too strong. I said to warn them off, not make them sleep with one eye open."
He only offers a neutral expression as he takes his helmet from Cisco.
They lapse into silence, even as they enter the cockpit and move into their respective docking stations. After fourteen successful missions, there's nothing to say in those moments before a Drift. Everything that needs to be said already has been; after all, they've been in each other's heads.
Initiating neural handshake goes through the speakers, and then he's flying through a long trail of memories—not just his, but also hers. The memories of his father and Tommy dying still catch him with the impact of a battering ram, but the more they Drift, the more Felicity's happy memories mingle with and provide insulation from his darker ones.
By the time he emerges from the Drift, Oliver is panting. It takes him several heartbeats to make sense of the chaos as more than just background noise, but then Diggle's voice breaks through his fog. "Oliver always goes out of alignment," he's saying to the techs in the tower. "That's normal. But Felicity's only gone out once in her dollar ride." Someone in the background informs him that Oliver is back in and he demands, "Queen, what the hell did you do? Felicity is out of alignment."
Turning to look at his partner, he finds her staring at him with wide eyes, mouth parted. Unlike when she chased the RABIT, Felicity's expression isn't glassy and vacant as though she's living out a tale inside her head. Instead, she's clear and lucid, the fog in her mind having nothing to do with a rookie mistake. Actually, he thinks it might have something to do with the memory of his conversation with Thea playing around in her head.
They don't speak—or share thoughts. The Drift is as silent as it was after Tommy died, though it doesn't have that same emptiness or sense of desolation. She's there and she's linked to him, but they both seem to be avoiding the giant elephant in the Drift.
"Queen?" Digg barks out.
Both Oliver and Felicity snap to attention, though he can feel her mentally reeling. "Arrow to control," she says in a distant voice. "We're up and running. Didn't mean to worry you, John." Her eyes lock on her partner's for a moment. "I was blindsided by a RABIT."
"Well, whatever it was," Cisco interjects, "it must have worked. You two are at a ninety-eight-six now. That's better than it has been, even before your drop to a ninety-four a few months ago."
As their Jaeger is transported to the middle of the Pacific Ocean, the two of them spend the entire transport bringing new meaning to the phrase "quiet as the grave." It's unnerving; he always depends upon Felicity's mental and verbal voice to help calm his discomfort, and yet she's only adding to it by being so uncharacteristically mute.
It's strange; on paper, they're better than ever, but he's never felt so distant from her.
I'm not mad, her mental voice reaches out to reassure him gently. I just… She falters, as if words are beyond her somehow. I have a lot to process, and right now we have a Kaiju to take on. We can't afford to be distracted. She's right, of course. We can talk about this later.
As they touch down in the ocean a few miles from the meanest, ugliest Kaiju to date, he pushes all troubled thoughts aside and focuses on the fight. Diggle barks orders into their comm link, giving the Green Arrow the lead as the Black Canary touches down on one side, Striker Eureka moving into position on the other.
Together, Oliver and Felicity move the Jaeger forward a few steps, and he presses the button for the plasma arrows again. After a year of practice, they don't even have to discuss it mentally and come to an agreement; they move as one to fire it.
The Kaiju gives a wild scream as the plasma blast deflects off of its heavy armor.
"Shit," Oliver and Felicity say in agreement. Despite the dire situation, he can hear Sara laugh over the comm link; she seems to find amusement in their ability to link up so tightly they can speak as one.
The monster charges at them, lashing out with three barbed tails. "Sword!" Felicity barks to him, though Oliver is already reaching for the button. They impact just as the sword starts to deploy, and the barrage of hits causes the Jaeger to shake and stumble. Somehow they manage to keep it upright just as the AI informs them, Sword deployed.
This time when it swings its tail, both of them are ready with two blades. The Arrow's left sword slices through one of the Kaiju's tails as it attacks, causing it to scream in pain. Oliver misses with the right sword as it flails in pain, but the Black Canary steps forward with its plasma staff and takes a swing at the monster's crocodile-like head.
The blow deflects off without leaving a scratch, and it rounds on the Canary. The Jaeger moves just fast enough to catch its powerful jaws before they tear into the hull. "We're pinned!" Laurel calls through the comm link.
Oliver and Felicity pull the Arrow into a run before she speaks, but Striker Eureka is newer and faster. While running, Striker discharges a full clip from the plasma cannons into the Category Five. It turns, opening both of its mouths and gnashing jaws while sliding toward Striker.
"Thanks, babe," Sara calls through the comms. They release a plasma shockwave at the same time, which manages to make the Kaiju even angrier. At the same time, Oliver manipulates the right hemisphere so that he puts a sword into the beast's side.
"Anything for you, my beloved," Nyssa replies as Striker draws swords of its own.
Relationship goals flickers through Felicity's mind, surprising Oliver so much that he fails to lift the sword in time to make a good pass at the Kaiju. He could have sliced off another of those damn tails if he had been paying attention. They're fighting Kaiju together, Oliver. Can you imagine what it would be like to do that with your partner?
Before he can stop it, the thought slips out: I already fight Kaiju with you. He has to block a perfectly good opportunity for a strike because she misses, stunned with the weight of his words.
When he blocks, she puts the sword through one of the Kaiju's arms, slicing through it like butter. "Later, Oliver," she growls in warning. "This is a conversation for when we're not facing down a Category Five with the personality of a very pissed-off Cerberus."
"What the hell is going on with you two?" Isabel demands as Striker takes another stab at the massive creature. Even in the midst of a battle with a Category Five, she manages to sound cool, collected, and almost bored with the turn of events. "You're fighting the same way you handle television interviews."
Suddenly the monster turns and its jaws latch on to Striker Eureka's left arm, ripping it off and throwing it at Canary. The action knocks them off balance and temporarily leaves the Arrow fighting this beast alone, but, in their shared minds, Oliver can feel the weight of Felicity's realization. There's a weakness—they just have to take it.
"Canary, Eureka, stay back," his partner warns them. "Oliver and I are about to do something stupid." Isabel snorts and mutters something that sounds distinctly like again. "And, Isabel, don't you have something else to do beside make condescending comments? Or are you out of puppies to kick?"
Felicity doesn't wait for a response, instead allowing Oliver to switch to the plasma cannon and fire a few shots. While Felicity steadies her sword, it charges them again, jaws gnashing as it makes an attempt to grab them.
In a stroke so beautiful it would make swordsmen cry, Felicity sinks the blade into the roof of the Kaiju's mouth.
It crumples on the spot, but neither of them want to take a chance on a resurgence of the beast. Oliver stabs it a second time, pushing the blade through its throat instead. Blue blood pours out of the wound at the same time Cisco informs them, "No pulse on the scanners. I think it's down."
"Boom! Drop the mic!" Felicity calls out, and Oliver bites back a smile. "Did you see that? We took down the first Category Five in history. I dealt the final blow—with a sword. If that's not a little badass, I don't know what is."
"I'm definitely a little turned on," Sara adds in a teasing tone.
Felicity laughs, high on their victory tonight. "Sara, don't flirt with me in front of your mildly terrifying girlfriend," she chides with a smile. It fades immediately as something akin to horror sets in. "No offense, Nyssa. I mean, 'mildly terrifying' works for you. You handle that title with pride." Her eyes go wide. "Please don't kill me."
Judging by the short bark of laughter from Striker Eureka's link—that Oliver knows can't be Isabel, who has no sense of humor—committing a murder is the last thing on her mind. "At least my beloved has good taste," she comments, which startles a laugh out of Oliver.
"Let's go home," Felicity suggests. It filters through the speakers, but something tells him it's meant for him alone. It is, she assures him. We have a lot to discuss.
The return to the Shatterdome passes in relative calm. After they disconnect and undock, Oliver retreats to the showers before she can corner him, waiting until she's left the locker room to get dressed. Suddenly their conversation seems as though it has too much weight, and he knows it won't end well between them. The moment she tells him her thoughts, it will be over, and he doesn't want to ruin this partnership they've been building for the last year.
So he avoids her.
It isn't something he's proud of, but Oliver avoids one of his best friends for the remainder of the day. He knows she'll look for him in the abandoned underground level, so he ducks into the empty J-Tech laboratories and Felicity's office. While he's there, he looks at her blueprints for the two new Jaegers she mentioned. Red Arrow, predictably, seems to be a color variant of the Green Arrow, with weapons similar to the Black Canary's as well. Coyote Tango, however, is entirely other. It's lighter and smaller than the other Jaegers, built for speed instead of taking hits.
It's after midnight when he decides he's safe to return to his room. Only the emergency lights are on in the hallways, and he enters the keycode to his door to find the lights already on. Suddenly alert, he turns to find Felicity sitting on his bed with a tablet in her hands, clearly going over plans and repairs. Which would be welcome, except she doesn't have his combination.
Surprise either flickers through their neural connection or across his face because she rolls her eyes. "Hacked into the Pentagon, remember?" she reminds him in a dry tone. "Hacking a four-digit encryption is something I can do in my sleep." She powers off the tablet. "I think we have some things to discuss."
Taking a deep breath and steeling himself for what he knows will be an unpleasant conversation, he pulls out a chair at the small table in the middle of the room. At this point, he's so sick with worry that he can't trust himself to speak, so he nods once instead, silently asking her to start.
"You're in love with me," she declares bluntly, with no warning. There's no question in her tone, but Felicity doesn't really need to ask at this point. Even still, Oliver nods once before running a hand over his face and returning his focus to his shoes. Because of that, it takes him a moment to register her soft words as more than just a hope: "I'm in love with you, too."
His eyes immediately flick to hers. "Yeah?" he can't help but ask. It isn't really a question, though; it's a prayer, a desire, a hope he's held on to for so long even knowing she deserves so much more. In his life, he's desired many things he hasn't deserved, but none so much as Felicity Smoak.
She nods once before throwing him another curveball: "What do you want to do about it?"
His confusion leaks into her amusement through the Ghost, and she laughs. "You know as well as I do what happens when romantic relationships enter the Drift," she explains, sobering. "We'll be separated, and I'm not going to fly with another partner. So I guess I'm asking if you'd be willing to potentially throw away a successful career for me, but I don't want to force you to choose."
"There's no choice to make, Felicity," Oliver answers instantly. It brings a soft smile to her lips, one that he returns. "I've seen enough of being a Jaeger pilot. It's one of the few things I can do without failing, but… I don't want to ask that of you." How does he tell her he'd burn the world down for a chance to kiss her, to hold her in his arms every night? "Even though I think we're worth fighting for."
It's only now that he hesitates. "I've been a Jaeger pilot for five years now—more than most. I've lost every partner I've ever had—in one way or another." He motions to her. "But you've fought for so long for a chance to be a Jaeger pilot, Felicity. I won't ask you to give that up for me." Quietly he admits, "I love you too much to ask that."
"You wouldn't have to," she assures him, her tone just as soft. "I mean, I… I thought I wanted this more than anything, but I don't want to be the person who throws away a chance at happiness for a career that won't last." Felicity looks away, biting her lip. "I can't ask you to wait, either."
"I would," he assures her truthfully. No matter what, no one will ever understand him on a level as deeply as Felicity does. It's something that's always bothered him about the Drift: After linking with someone, they know each other better than their own minds. How could anything else compare? He sighs. "I know we've known each other for a year, that we've Drifted a handful of times, but… I think this is it for me."
He looks away before he can gauge her reaction. There are some things he doesn't want to see flicker through her eyes; the mix of emotions through their link is too hard to read to get a reaction. Instead, he just stares at the worn oak of the table, running his fingers along the lines in the grain.
A hand falls on his, and he looks up to find Felicity standing over him. Her lips are pressed together, as though she's trying to find the right words before blurting them. "A year ago," she begins slowly, her voice hard despite the quiet of her tone, "you asked me to take a chance and step into the ring with you. We were supposed to be impossible, but I said yes anyway." She shakes her head. "It isn't fair and it isn't right, but I'm asking you to take a chance with me anyway. If you don't want to, we'll go back to normal and never—"
She cuts herself off as he rises from his chair, looming over her. Slowly, reverently, he cups her face in one hand, and she leans into his touch, mouth parting as her eyes drop to his lips. It gives him the courage to lean in, so close that he can feel her breath on his skin.
Felicity closes the distance between them, pressing her mouth to his as she grips the sleeve of his shirt tightly in one hand. He kisses her like it's the last thing he'll ever do, like the world is ending around him and it's the only chance he'll ever have. He kisses her the same way he Drifts with her: as if that moment is worth more than anything else he could ever have, precious and never long enough.
Not the last chance, Felicity assures him in her thoughts, their neural link overpowering at such close proximity to one another. Her hand goes to the back of his neck, pressing them even more tightly together. Only the first.
As they break apart, breathing heavily, he presses his lips to her temple the way he has countless times before. "I'll hold you to that," he warns her in a low voice, lips still brushing against her skin. She smiles, eyes falling closed.
With a contented sigh, she answers, "Do you think I'd really be stupid enough to let you go?"
"I think you're stubborn enough to let me stay," he answers as her lips press against his jaw. Something about the situation seems impossible, and Oliver can't help but wonder if he's just in the middle of a pleasant dream. But, then again, his dreams are never this pleasant. Feeling the need to confess to his earlier foolishness, he adds, "I shouldn't have hidden from you."
"I knew you were in J-Tech," Felicity answers as they finally start to pull away. Their hands stay entwined, as though they need a point of physical connection to remind themselves this is real. "But I also knew you'd be aware of the moment I went after you. So I waited for you to process things on your own."
"I thought I had destroyed our relationship," Oliver confesses in a low voice.
"Oh, you did," she answers. "When we started the neural handshake and I saw that memory, it…" She smiles. "It was the sign I had been waiting for. It's been so hard to hide it from you—and sometimes I wasn't sure if I was—and realizing you felt the same was a relief." She pokes his shoulder. "You completely dropped a plasma cannon blast on our friendship." When Felicity kisses him this time, it's only a chaste press of her lips against his. "But I like this better."
He laughs at her expression, the challenge and taunting present there. Using his free hand, Oliver brushes an errant lock of pink hair out of her face, wondering how he could be given such a gift after all of the damage he's done. It makes it that much harder to believe in this reality, in a world where Felicity could love him just as much as he loves her.
When her mouth opens again, it's with another challenge: "Do you want to keep destroying our platonic friendship?"
"Absolutely," he answers, noting the way her eyes darken. "What did you have in mind?"
"We're Ghosting, Oliver," she retorts with a smirk. "You tell me."
Playlist:
"Innocence" - Tarja
"Hear Me" - Anette Olzon
"Storytime" - Nightwish
"Endless Forms Most Beautiful" - Nightwish
"The World is Ugly" - My Chemical Romance
"Wicked Ones" - Dorothy
