Sorry for the long wait, am working on another update as i write this. Real world sucks and I still don't own the show...
Jane wanted to leave. Was there really any point staying to work on her marriage, she wondered, when Maura had admitted to believing that she thought that she was capable of cheating. To Jane, that was like saying that she was just like her father, something she definitely didn't want to be.
Jane knew one thing, despite it all, she didn't want to give up and walk away from the one person who she loved completely despite how much it seemed to hurt.
Shifting her toes through the sand, Jane hoped that it would be enough to calm herself before she had to go back to the lion's den. There was no way to reapproach what had just passed between them. Not tonight. All Jane wanted to do was climb back under her quilt in the guest bedroom and go to sleep, however, she couldn't see that happening. She had a feeling that either she wouldn't be able to sleep or Maura wouldn't let her sleep. All Jane was sure of was that if this crap between them continued for the duration of this "Getaway", then they wouldn't be returning to Boston as a couple, nor would they be relaxed.
Jane let out a sigh as she moved to rest her head on her knees. She took the time to breathe in the cool ocean air. She closed her eyes and remained resting as she attempted to gather her thoughts.
Jane had no idea how long she had been sitting, trying to calm down when the front door sounded behind her. Moments passed before she felt Maura drape a light blanket over her shoulders.
Suddenly there was a body beside her and Maura brushed against her as she pulled the remainder of the blanket across her own back. Jane fought temptation to wrap an arm around her wife and sat completely still, waiting for something, she just wasn't sure what.
Beside her, Maura sighed. "Do you remember when we were first dating?" Maura asked and Jane nodded. She wasn't 100% sure why Maura was even thinking of starting there.
"You were working in Narcotics," Maura continued, "Martinez had a huge thing for you."
"Maur…" Jane started and was quickly shushed.
"Yu told me about him, and then I saw you guys together in the café." Maura said with a smile. "You were so animated with him and he flirted."
Jane turned to look at her wife, waiting for the punch line.
"I got so jealous of him and I let you know it," She breathed. "I was the first time I had ever been so jealous and you reassured me that I had nothing to worry about."
"Maura I," Jane started only to be shushed again.
"I knew back then that you wouldn't cheat, just like I know that you didn't even bat an eye lid at Agent Dean."
Jane let out a sigh of relief.
"My jealous monster was already hard to control." Maura said as she looked back out over the water. "Him shooting Paddy, well it only made it worse."
"I think you instinctively shot at Paddy after he had shot Dean, when in my head, it was trying to tell me that you shot Paddy because Agent Dean meant more, a lot more."
Jane remained quiet, not knowing what to say to Maura's confession.
"I guess what I'm saying is, I know that Agent Dean was nothing more than a colleague to you. It's just the green eyed monster didn't want to see it. I know you wouldn't cheat."
"I'm not my father." Jane countered and she heard Maura breathe a sigh of relief.
"I know," Maura responded as she rested her head on Janes shoulder.
Time seemed to pass and Jane slowly let herself relax beside her wife.
"I want this" Maura finally said as she reached for Janes hand and entwined their fingers. "I still want you."
Jane let out a breath she didn't realise she was holding. Finally, she responded by giving Maura's hand a squeeze in response. She had no words and figured she didn't need any.
