To Embrace
Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow.
Chapter 3: Artifice
Reliving the past in order to change the future meant having good days and bad days. Today was not a good day for Thea Queen. Disorientation, flashbacks, hallucinations, all symptoms that she was warned about before she took the plunge. Oh and death, couldn't forget that little gem. Laurel tried to talk her out of it, but in the end Thea made her choice and it paid off.
It was Sunday. She was supposed to be at some charity brunch with her mother, but after being up all night trying to convince herself she wasn't losing her mind Thea decided she more than deserved a day to herself. She couldn't take being around her mom after seeing her die by Slade's hands again that night. This time she was going to kill him before he ever got close to her family.
Walter and Moira left while Thea ran until she couldn't feel her legs anymore. It was Raisa's day off and the house was quieter than a library. Her phone was blown up with texts requesting her immediate presence and that Park would be around with the car within the hour. Rolling her eyes she headed for the shower.
The hot water cascading over her tired muscles was heaven and Thea leaned against the cold tile of the shower wall. Her body felt like it had just gone several rounds with a pissed off Malcolm Merlyn. She took her time, not caring that her mother demanded her presence. Having the house to herself for most of the day and doing homework while re-watching the O.C. sounded far more tempting than going to the Bowen's charity event. But if she didn't go her mom would be impossible for weeks. Groaning at the obvious conclusion she picked up her pace.
Fifteen minutes later she was swiping on a bright coral red that went by Artifice. It was a little too intense for the daytime event but Thea was hoping it would distract from the dark circles under her eyes that not even her best concealer could completely erase. Her armor wasn't pulling it's weight today.
Footsteps padded down the hallway outside her room and for a moment Thea thought they were in her head until they went to Oliver's room and the door creaked like it always did. Her heartbeat picked up but she knew the chances were slim to none that the person slinking around was an intruder.
She stepped out of her heels and grabbed a letter opener from her desk before making her way to her slightly ajar door. The angle only allowed her a slim view of the person's back. Her steps made no sound as she left her room. She knew who it was when they came into full view, standing in the entranceway of Ollie's bedroom.
Thea didn't remember the last time she saw Tommy Merlyn but she remembered the moment when she learned he was her half brother all too well. After being kidnapped by Slade and terrified she wasn't ready to believe anything he had to say, but after calmly telling her that Malcolm was her father he untied her and left, like he hadn't just destroyed her whole world view. There wasn't a moment she didn't know it was true.
Because it made so much sense. Thea, well having more than a bit of Moira in her did not look anything like Robert Queen or Oliver really. If Tommy were born a girl the similarities between them would not have gone ignored. The resemblance between her and Malcolm was obvious now that she knew there was reason for it to be.
During her time with Malcolm she pondered a lot of things that she now was ashamed of. She wanted to know what it would have been like to grow up Merlyn instead of Queen. If Tommy would have been a better brother than Oliver. The most destructive thought by far was imagining that if he knew she was his daughter all along perhaps he wouldn't have lost himself to grief and rage.
She now knew the truth. Malcolm Merlyn was ruthless and self serving before Rebecca died. Her death might have twisted his morality beyond the pale, but the groundwork for such a change was there long before.
Thea watched as Tommy just leaned up against the door frame and stared into the room no doubt lost in better times gone by. She remembered seeing him do this a few times before. He would come when he thought the house would be empty, but more times than not Thea would be home nursing a hangover or teenage angst. She never interrupted him before, though she wanted to. She knew better than most what it was like to grieve alone.
"Tommy," she called softly. She noticed his shoulders stiffen at being caught and he hesitated before turning around.
The charming smile of Tommy Merlyn turned on full met her hazel gaze. "Thea! Wow, long time no see." Her half brother took a moment to take in her appearance and Thea winced as she was reminded of more than one comment he made about 'how grown up' she looked. Not to mention her seriously misplaced crush she wished she could erase from her memory. "You, look, um kind of tired actually." He quirked an eyebrow at her when he noticed the letter opener she couldn't completely hide.
The unflattering truth made her snort with laughter. Her mother would be so ashamed. "Let me change into something more comfortable. I must look horrible if even you couldn't come up with something nice to say."
Tommy blushed slightly at being called out on his lack of manners. "Sorry about that kiddo, but you might actually fall asleep standing up at whatever boring snooze fest you were headed to."
Rolling her eyes she sent him a look as she disappeared back into her room. "You know very well that I was headed to the Bowen's annual charity of the year brunch. I'm sure you were invited." She managed to change back into a pair of clean running shorts and a thin sweatshirt without ruining her make up. That was talent. She doubted she would go to the party now but there was no reason to screw up her makeup.
Coming back into the hallway she saw Tommy was headed for the stairs, and ultimately the front door. "Nuh uh. My mom wanted me to join her, car's out front and everything, you are my alibi Merlyn." She could see by his face that he did not want to stay, but she wasn't going to let this opportunity go. She would pull out all the stops including a hell of a guilt trip before she let him walk out that door. "Come on, Raisa taught me how to use the fancy coffee machine because I am an addict and there are ginger snaps."
He threw up his hands. "Fine! I'm yours for the afternoon. But I want a cappuccino." They made their way down to the kitchen where Thea pulled what she needed out of the fridge and cupboards, chatting about non important gossip. "I swear it's the truth, if Ollie were here…" Tommy's voice died as he realized who he had just brought up.
Thea, who was finished their drinks, ducked her head as she set down the two mugs. "It doesn't hurt you know, hearing his name. It hurts not to talk about him or dad. Nobody wants to talk about them, not with me anyway." She tried to push vulnerability into her voice. It wasn't an easy task, considering she knew Oliver was very much alive and while she missed her dad it was an old wound.
Tommy cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable with the emotional admission. "So what has my favorite little Queen been up to?" Tommy asked, changing the subject as he took a seat at the island and pulled his drink towards him.
Old anger rose in her at his dodging. "Not much," she answered flatly.
Her half brother sighed. "Thea, I… I'm sorry."
The young woman shook her head. "Don't be," she said with more venom than she meant, but the feelings she repressed when she was this age the first time were suddenly coming back like they were fresh and new. She was having a hard time keeping her face clear of anger and bitterness. She took a large bite of a cookie to to silence her sudden urge to scream.
It was just another side effect. These emotions weren't that of Thea Queen twenty-three year old and experienced crime fighter. These were from the part of her that was still the lonely teenager who just wanted someone to talk to about the immense loss she suffered and was still suffering. Tommy wasn't the real target for her anger either but at that moment she couldn't make herself care.
"No, I'm, I'm so angry," she whispered, feeling relief at finally being able to admit to what she tried so hard to bury. "I'm angry at everyone. I'm even angry at them. Ollie wouldn't have been on that boat if he weren't running away from Laurel and dad was having a fight with mom at the time."
"How do you know about that?" Tommy asked, momentarily stunned.
Hazel eyes rolled. "Tommy I may have been a kid, but I was far from an idiot."
Sadness touched his expression as he shook his head. "We must have scarred you permanently. God, what you must have heard."
"Don't worry I won't hold your idiocy against you," she teased dryly, trying to lighten the mood and control her emotions but there was a bite to her words that made him flinch. She took as sip from her drink and wiped away the stain left on the white cup with her thumb.
"I miss him like crazy," Tommy admitted softly. "He was my best friend." A silence that wasn't painful descended on the pair. Thea took another bite of her cookie and savored the warmth of the ginger and cinnamon, actually tasting it this time. "I miss you too kid." Her eyes lifted up to see him looking directly at her. She scoffed and turned her head. "I mean it Thea. Your whole family, they were," he swallowed tightly before speaking again, "they were there for me when I needed it. I'm sorry I couldn't do the same for you." He looked genuinely remorseful.
She knew this was an opportunity, if she could just set aside her anger. "You tried," she acknowledged, remembering him warning off her old hook up. "And I pushed you away. You're not perfect Tommy, and neither am I." Her arms folded around her torso in a comforting gesture and she fingered the raised skin of the scar on her elbow. "You know, I'd really like to see you some time other than when you're sneaking in here."
Tommy nodded and masked his grief with a smile. "Oh? What does young Ms. Queen have in mind? Nothing illegal. I don't want your mother to hire a hitman," he joked. Thea chuckled with him for a totally different reason.
"Nothing illegal I promise. I need a work out buddy."
Dark brows rose at her request and he surreptitiously gave her a once over. "This isn't about a boy is it? Because Thea, and I say this from a brotherly place you don't need to change in any way." He brought his hand to her heart and the playful grin on his face was that of the mischievous teen he once was.
A genuine smile lit her face as she shook her head. "Thanks bro, but I am not doing it for a boy. Clears my head, keeps me level. And seeing as how you're putting on some paunch," she patted his stomach as he reached for another cookie. "Looks like you could use a bit of exercise."
Tommy laughed around his cookie. "Wow, well just so you know I haven't had any complaints."
Thea smiled and nodded in agreement. "Not yet anyway." They both laughed and the sound chased away the shadows that lingered in the room. This was how she remembered Tommy. He was light where Oliver was dark. "I bet I can eat more cookies than you," she challenged.
Tommy snorted in response. "You just told me I'm fat."
"So you think I could eat more too."
Blue-green eyes narrowed. "You wanna bet?"
She tilted her head to the side as he fell into her trap. "The Bowen Brunch," she said, holding up her phone to show him the most recent texts from her mother. "I win, you come with me, we'll be fashionably late."
"Wow, you are a little devil you know that?" He chuckled. "But that doesn't mean you're going to win."
Thirty minutes later the half siblings were in the back of the Bentley with Park at the wheel. Thea was smirking at the defeated look on Tommy's face. "I call interference on that play ref," he complained.
"Your own fault for taking the bet after I just ran for an hour," Thea replied without any sympathy. "At least they should be past the speeches and onto the chit chat."
Her half brother mumbled something about small mercies and Thea exchanged a smirk with Park in the rear view mirror. The brunette tugged the zipper of her light coat up a little more. The October air was crisp when they stepped out of the car. Tommy held out his arm and without thinking looped her own through his in the same manner she would Oliver's.
The surprise on Tommy's face was fleeting but a comfortable, easy smile replaced it and Thea felt happiness bubble within her. She couldn't remember the last time she made someone smile from such a simple action.
Thea was right of course. After giving up their fall coverings the half siblings entered the dining hall where the high society of Starling City was buzzing about mimosas in hand. The youngest Queen quickly spotted her mother with Walter and the not so terrible Forbes. As they approached Moira caught sight of them and apprehension flickered across the mask. Thea's sharp eyes took in the sudden tightening of her mother's shoulders and neck. Vindictive pleasure and guilt at feeling that pleasure rolled into the greeting that left her tongue. "Mother, Walter, I'm so sorry I'm late, but look who I found on the way."
Whatever anxiety Moira was feeling over seeing the two of them together was quickly hidden behind years of training. "Tommy, dear so good to see you." Thea dropped her escort's arm as he greeted the newly married couple. "Thea, some of your friends are over there if you would like to go say hello," her mother said pointedly.
"I'm fine mom. I see them at school every day," the brunette answered. She didn't actually, but that didn't make her want to mingle with them any more. The corners of the older woman's perfectly painted mouth turned down. There was no doubt that Moira wanted her daughter away from her half brother, but she was also becoming suspicious about why she was avoiding her old friends and Thea knew it was only a matter of time before her mother spoke up. Looking around the hall for a distraction, the not sixteen year old's eyes widened at a man standing at one of the exits. "I'm going to see what I can scrounge up from the food table." She looked at Tommy who shook his head and padded his stomach.
The brunette waltzed over and took her time picking out the finger food that looked like it was still decent tasting, as well as sneaking a few desert items that had just been set out. She wasn't hungry, but then she wasn't going to eat it.
Thea posted up against the wall right next to John Diggle, who watched her out of the corner of his eye. She ignored his gaze and contemplated the plate of food she held up in front of her. Diggle cleared his throat after a minute. Thea turned as if she just noticed he was there and smiled up at him. "Hungry?" she asked.
"I'm not a guest ma'm," he answered curtly.
Thea's Artifice coated lips curled into something a little more dangerous than a smile. "Well, I'm not old enough to be called ma'm and that isn't what I asked."
His deep brown eyes scanned the room for a moment before he turned, bending and twisting at the waist to block his arm from view, as he snatched a chocolate covered strawberry off her plate in one smooth motion. He popped it in his mouth and returned to his previous position without even a hint that something had just occurred.
Thea laughed and saw the corners of Dig's mouth twitch upwards. John Diggle's playful side was usually reserved for three people and she wasn't one of them. "Well, I'll just leave this here." She placed the plate on the side railing of the wall behind them. As she moved back towards her family, his voice made her pause.
"It was nice meeting you Ms. Queen."
Not being able to resist Thea half turned to face him. "It was nice meeting you too Mr. Diggle." She glimpsed his stunned expression as she turned back around. Her mischievous acts made the cloud of depression that hung over her this morning dissipate and put a spring in her step. Grabbing Tommy's arm she pulled him along with her. "Let's go find something fun to do," she demanded.
"Your mom," he tried to protest.
"She's talking to her old sorority gal pals now, won't even notice I'm gone."
After shooting off a quick text to Park, they picked up their coats and Thea ducked into the ladies room for a moment while the car was brought around.
The color on her mouth seemed jarring in the fluorescent light of the bathroom. The dark circles under her eyes were still there but seemed diminished now. Rummaging through her purse Thea found her make up wipes and quickly took off the offending shade. She didn't need it anymore.
She met Tommy back at the car. He didn't comment on her change in appearance. He opened her door for her and held out his hand to help her into the car with an exaggerated flourish. "Where to my lady?"
A/N: Thank you to those of you who have reviewed and are supporting this rehashing. Diggle was one character I didn't really have until Oliver returned which is going to change. I've been rewatching the first season and I really love him. I also rewatched that one episode that shows Oliver back in Starling during the third season. This is only a year before Oliver returns so that all happened a year ago I think. I tried to allude to that in Tommy's interaction with Thea while still kind of wiping their slate clean.
Thank you again for reading and I hope to see some comments.
Spoilers for current season and if you don't know you have been under a rock:
So I mention Laurel as being alive in this chapter. To give you an idea of a timeline Thea returned about five years out from when the first season began. I am pretty much ignoring everything that happens after the third season, including Laurel's death and Sara coming back to life. I am keeping the bloodlust and will go into more detail about it in chapters to come. I'd love to hear thoughts on Laurel's death. I haven't been keeping up with this season and I haven't even watched the episode. Mostly I'm disappointed in the waste of a character that was finally figuring out her shit.
