I rocked slowly back and forth on the porch swing outside Bess and Garth's house, staring glumly at the wooden deck. I didn't bother looking up as footsteps rounded the corner.
"There you are." Cas's shadow fell over me as he came to a stop. "I've been looking for you. Have you been here this whole time?"
I shrugged. I had helped clear the table a bit after breakfast, but the Myers had insisted that, as guests, we not do any chores. So I'd lingered around for a minute, but I could feel the Reverend watching me from the corner of his eye, and had left pretty quickly. I hadn't really had a destination in mind; I'd just walked out of the house. Then I'd seen the swing and thrown myself in it and hoped no one would come looking for me.
Cas sighed when I didn't say anything to him. He sat next to me, his hand coming to rest lightly on mine. I didn't pull away, so he enclosed his fingers around me.
"You're worried," he guessed.
I nodded.
"You still think all this is your fault?"
This time I didn't make any response. Cas sighed, apparently guessing what I was thinking.
"It's not," he insisted. "None of this is your fault."
"None of them would be in danger if it wasn't for me," I snapped. I waved an arm at the house to emphasize my point.
"That doesn't make it your fault," Cas objected. "That's my siblings' faults. Not yours."
"Doesn't change things though, does it?"
Cas sighed, but said nothing.
"What can I do?" he asked eventually. "What can I do to make you happy?"
"There's nothing you can do." I scowled at him. "Unhappiness kind of comes with being a walking time bomb."
"Walking time bomb?" asked Cas.
I nodded. "Yeah. That's what I am. Everyone who goes near me gets hurt."
Cas frowned. "That's not true," he said firmly. "That is absolutely not true."
Once again, I said nothing.
"Come on," he said. "Come with me."
I frowned as he stood, pulling me to my feet. "Where are we going?"
Cas smiled as he took my hand. "You'll see."
"I saw her picture this morning while we were getting the baby supplies at the store," Cas whispered to me. "Along with her wish."
I nodded. I had seen it too. The girl's name was Valerie Joslin. She was nine years old and had leukemia. The Make a Wish poster next to the cashier's register, along with a little donation bucket, had said her wish was to meet Tiana from the Disney movie "The Princess and the Frog."
Right now she was in the intensive care unit of the hospital in the next town over. Her cancer had taken a turn for the worst the previous night, and from the whispered conversation I'd heard between some doctors as Cas and I snuck in invisibly, she didn't have long to live.
"Shouldn't you be dressed as a giant toad or something?" I whispered.
Cas pressed his lips together. "Her wish isn't to meet the prince. She wants to meet the princess."
I sighed and glanced down at myself. I was wearing a green princess dress that Cas and I had found in a costume store, complete with the gloves that stretched nearly all the way up my arms and the oversized tiara. I had carefully twisted my hair back into my best imitation of Tiana's princess hairdo, and now, with my heart pounding in my throat, I knocked on Valerie's hospital room door.
"Come in," sounded a tired voice from inside.
I let go of Cas's hand and pushed open the door. A man and a woman; Mr. and Mrs. Joslin, were sitting in chairs next to their daughter's bed. They both looked like they'd been crying, and were clutching their daughter's hand as if she would die the moment they let go.
Valerie was asleep. Her head was hairless from over a year of chemotherapy, and she was far too skinny for words. Her chest rose and fell steadily, but there was a tube running under her nose, giving her oxygen. I felt tears prick at my eyes.
I heard a gasp, and turned my attention back to Mr. and Mrs. Joslin. They had both risen to their feet when I'd entered, and had looks of wonder on their faces. Mr. Joslin bit his lip, but a few tears still leaked out of his eyes.
"Hello," I whispered. I cleared my throat. "Hi. I'm here for-"
"Mom?" Valerie's head moved as she woke, and she automatically groped for her parents. "Dad? Wha- Princess Tiana?"
I smiled at the excitement in her voice. Valeries's eyes were wide, and she weakly but determinedly pushed herself upright, staring at me in amazement.
"Hello, Valerie," I greeted her. I moved slightly closer, and when her parents didn't move to stop me, knelt by Valerie's bed and took her hand. "I heard you wanted to meet me."
Valerie's head bobbed up and down excitedly. "I did!" she exclaimed. "I did! I can't believe you came!"
I grinned at her, gulping back the lump in my throat. "Of course I came," I stated. "I always come for fellow princesses."
Valerie grinned, but then her face fell. She shook her head. "I'm not a princess."
I frowned. "Yes you are. Hey." I waited until she looked up at me again. "You most certainly are a princess. Being a princess isn't about how you're born, it's about who you are. It's about being brave and strong and kind, and never giving up. Are you those things?"
Slowly, Valerie nodded.
I smiled. "Then you're a princess. Don't you ever let anyone tell you differently."
Valerie nodded. "They're just jealous cos they're all frogs," she joked.
I chuckled and nodded. "That's right. But maybe you can show them how to be princesses."
"How?" Valerie frowned. "How do I do that?"
I shrugged. "Just be you. Look at your smile. You can light up a room just by being in it. Don't you know, you're the best princess of them all? Princess Valerie."
Valerie grinned. There was color slowly returning to her cheeks, and she suddenly shot forward and pulled me into a hug. I felt tears drip onto my shoulder, and I tried not to shed any myself.
"I love you, Princess Tiana," Valerie whispered.
I quickly pulled away, subtly brushing at my eyes as I did.
"I love you too, Princess Valerie. Here." I pulled the fake tiara off my head and set it gently on hers. "I want you to have this."
"Really?" Valerie lifted her hands up to the tiara. "Thank you!"
I smiled. "Of course. I've got to go now. I'll see you around, ok?"
Valerie nodded eagerly, her hands still grasping the tiara to her head. I made sure to keep the smile plastered on my face as I backed towards the door, and as Mr. Joslin started cooing over his daughter's new accessory with her, Mrs. Joslin followed me outside.
"Thank you." There were tears in her eyes as she closed the door behind us. "Thank you so much. I haven't seen her with that much energy in months."
I smiled. "It was my pleasure." I nodded towards the door. "No thanks necessary. Go be with her."
Mrs. Joslin nodded and hurried back inside, mouthing one last thank you to me as she went. I smiled and started down the hall, pausing once I was out of sight of the room. I felt Cas take my hand, and then we appeared back in our motel room.
I pulled off the gloves and tossed them on the table, wiping at my eyes.
"I'm glad we did that," I whispered. "To see her so happy…" I stopped, taking a moment to recompose myself. "I just wish we could've done more."
Cas smiled and came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist. "We did," he said quietly. "While you were talking with Valerie I came in invisibly and healed her."
"You did what?" I whirled to face Cas, nearly hitting him in the nose with my head as I did.
Cas grinned down at me. "She will live for many years," he promised.
For a moment I could only stand there blinking. Then I threw my arms around Cas, laughing hysterically.
"I love you," I laughed in his ear. "I love you so much. Thank you."
Cas nodded, resting his head on my shoulder. We stayed like that for several minutes, and then he pulled gently away.
"I do this when I'm feeling stressed," he told me. He sat on the motel bed. "Heal people. It helps me to feel as though I'm making a difference."
I nodded. Suddenly I realized that I was no longer feeling gloomy and depressed. I was so happy I was practically lightheaded.
"Can I come with you for now on?" I asked.
Cas nodded. "I was hoping you would."
I threw my arms around him again, ecstatic. After a few minutes I got changed. There was a huge part of me that wanted to go out again and heal some more people, but as I pulled on my usual plaid I could see Cas slumping back in bed, tired from healing Valerie. I crawled up next to him and grabbed the remote.
"We should get back to the others," Cas objected. "We need to start the lessons."
I rolled my eyes. "Sam and Dean can handle things for now."
Cas nodded, and didn't object again.
By the next day I was surprised at how much warding everyone had put up. Bess and Garth's house and cars were completely sealed, and by the end of the day, so were the rest of their family's. By the next morning the Reverend was putting the final touches on the church, and then we sat them down and started teaching them how to make the blood sigil.
Throughout this time Cas wasn't of much use, so he finally returned to heaven. He came back to me each night, reporting unhappily that he hadn't learned anything of any help. None of us had really expected him to, but it was still disheartening.
The more time we spent with the Fitzgeralds and Myers, the closer we became to them. Even Dean got over the whole werewolf thing, and by the time we were eating dinner in Bess and Garth's backyard two weeks later, we were all laughing and joking like one big, happy family.
There were still rough times. I was still constantly looking over my shoulder, and I hated that everyone I cared about had to be so careful as well. Whenever I started to get glum Sam and Dean would do their best to cheer me up before simply calling Cas. We'd spend the rest of the day out healing, and by the time we returned at night, tired but happy, I was feeling much better.
Before we knew it, the end of the month was upon us, as well as the day of the baptism.
"Lucy, we have to go," Cas called. He accentuated his point with three hard raps on the bathroom door. "The ceremony starts in a ten minutes."
I cursed and forced myself not to rush my makeup. "Two minutes!" I promised.
I could hear Cas sigh heavily from outside the door.
"There!" I swiped on some lip gloss, put on my jewelry, and flung open the door. "Let's go. Where're Sam and Dean?"
"At the church." Cas handed me my shoes. "They left twenty minutes ago."
My eyes widened. "How are we going to get to the church?"
Cas gave me an are you kidding me look and grabbed my hand. A moment later we appeared on a neatly trimmed lawn, behind which sat Reverend Myers' church. The front door was open, and I could see people moving around inside. A moment later Sam poked his head out.
"About time," he called. "We were starting to wonder if you were going to make it."
I scowled as I strode forward. "Hardy har har. Like I'd ever miss this."
Bess laughed as she emerged, Bobby in her arms. Bess was wearing a white dress with pink flowers, and Bobby was in a little white baptism outfit. He looked adorable as he waved his fists at me.
"Hi!" I gave Bess a hug and took Bobby, tickling his cheek. Cas came to stand at my shoulder and planted a kiss on his forehead.
"You're just in time for pictures," Bess said. She pulled me around to the side of the church, where Dean and Garth were working together to set up a camera. In the next ten minutes we did a variety of family shots of everyone, and some of smaller groups. Bobby was in every picture.
At last it was time. I held Bobby throughout the entire ceremony, while everyone except Cas watched from the bottom of the altar. Poor Cas was stuck outside the warded church. He watched from a side door that opened up next to the altar, and though he had a smile on his face the whole time, I could see the disappointment in his eyes that he couldn't stand with the rest of us.
After the baptism we went back to Garth and Bess's house for food. There were a couple picnic tables set up outside, and we brought all the food out and ate there. Cas took Bobby, and didn't let go of him for the next hour.
Eventually the boys got into playing a bit of basketball, so while Bess went inside to nurse Bobby, I grabbed a book and sat on the porch swing. I just couldn't get into reading though, and I ended up watching as Dean taught Cas how to slam dunk a basketball.
It was a nice sight. The kind that gave you a warm feeling inside. Everyone was joking and laughing, and I threw a few jokes at them from my seat. I felt at home with these people. They were my family now.
Eventually Cas came over to me, plopping down on the chair next to me. He offered me a wide smile and I returned it a bit absentmindedly before leaning against his side.
I could feel Cas tense a bit. He knew there was something going through my mind. He just didn't know if it was good or bad. Either way he sat quietly, waiting for me to speak.
Finally, I did.
"I think I'm ready," I said quietly.
There was confusion in Cas's voice as he responded. "Ready for what?"
I took a deep breath and looked up at him. "Ready to say goodbye to my family."
"How do you want to do this?" Cas asked.
I bit my lip as I thought. We were standing outside my house- the parallel version of it.
"I don't know," I admitted. "Maybe I can just walk through one last time. Take a final look around. Say goodbye."
Cas frowned. "You realize you can't speak to them, right?" he asked. "They can't know you're there."
I nodded. "I know," I said sadly. "But I can see them."
Cas nodded. A moment later we were inside, standing at the top of the stairs.
It looked exactly as I remembered it. From the color of the walls to the pictures hanging up throughout the room. It was hard to remember that this was the parallel version of my house, that it wasn't actually where I'd grown up.
Slowly, careful to keep a hold of Cas's hand, I moved forward. I walked slowly down the hall, peeking into Peter and Jackie's room. Neither were in it; they were probably on a playdate with their friend around the corner. The three of them practically lived at each other's houses. I slipped in, smiling as I looked around. I trailed my fingers over a couple drawings they'd left lying around, over their beds and their matching space designs. Cas let go of my hand; we weren't in danger of being seen in an empty room, and stood in the doorway, giving me some time alone.
After a minute I returned, and he took my hand again as we started for my room. We were almost to the door when it banged open, and the parallel version of me ran down the hallway with a backpack slung over her shoulder. Cas and I had to jump to the side so that she didn't run into us.
"What is she doing here?" Cas whispered as the parallel version of me called a goodbye to her parents. "Shouldn't she be at college?"
I nodded as I heard my mother yelling from the next room. Something about how I'd just gotten home yesterday; why was I leaving again so soon?
"I'll be back tomorrow," parallel me responded.
I could hear grumbling from my mom. A moment later a car horn honked outside, and Lucy number two darted for the door.
Cas didn't need telling. He had us out there before the other me, and we took a glance inside the car.
"It's Brian and Jill," I whispered. "They must still be together. That's good."
Cas pressed his lips together to hide his laughter.
"But where are they going overnight?" he asked.
That was a good question. We peered over the other me's shoulder as she opened the trunk of the car and dropped her bag in. What I saw made my hand clench painfully around Cas's.
There were grocery bags filled with cheap snacks and water. Those weren't so alarming. What was alarming wasn't the video cameras. It truly terrifying thing was the double barrel shotgun sitting beneath the bags of Cheetos, and the salt rounds next to it.
My eyes fixed on the gun as my vision tunneled.
"You managed to get the gun," the other me commented.
"Yep," Brian called back. "My parents won't notice it's gone as long as we get it back by tomorrow afternoon."
"Don't worry," Jill said as Lucy two slammed the trunk of the car shut. "We'll be done by tonight. Then we can all spend the night at my place so no one has to go sneaking home."
Lucy number two said something in response. I wasn't sure what, because she had closed the car door, and Jill guided it into the street and away. I had to resist the urge to go running after it as it rounded the corner, screaming at it to stop.
For several moments Cas and I just stood there. Then, slowly, he turned to me.
"What is going on?" he asked. "Are they-"
"Ghost hunting," I whispered. "Yeah."
So sorry for the long hiatus. Wow. I really do have to stop saying that. But I hope you guys are still hanging in there, because the real action of this story is about to start. (Insert evil grinning emoji.)
I've had several reviews that I unfortunately can't reply to the normal way. There're the reviews from Danielle Cs, who is a guest, so that's why the site won't let me respond. Then there is a review from bookwriter123456. I've got an email about your review, but for some strange reason it isn't showing on yet. I'm not sure what's going on there. I've kind of given up on understanding technology.
Anyway, thank you both for your amazing reviews. To answer your question Danielle Cs, Lucy and Cas haven't yet "done the dirty," so to speak, because it hasn't been necessary for the plot so far, and I've been saving it for a special moment. Don't worry, it will come. Also, to answer your question about me, I'm currently studying English and Psychology in college, and am undecided about what I'm going to do with these majors once I graduate. One step at a time I suppose. Thank you for your interest!
Bookwriter123456, I promise I have not abandoned this story. There will most likely be some rather long hiatuses between chapters, but I fully intend to finish this story. Sorry to have worried you there, and sorry for the long waits. I don't like leaving you hanging for so long.
Once again, thank you to the both of you for the amazing comments you left me, and thank you to everyone who has ever read or commented on my stories before. I write for all of you.
I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I'll have the next one up as soon as I can.
