Usual Disclaimers apply - aka - nothing is mine except this story and it's badly written prose.

Apologies for the long delay. Moving is a bitch at the best of times, but add a few hiccups and it becomes a nightmare of Supernatural proportions. Add to that no internet or home phone, cue a very insane 'Net addicted tantrum.

With that said, this chapter sux, but it's done. Hopefully you won't want to break my typing fingers when you finish it just to break something along with your boredom...

Please review... *flutters eyelashes*


Her heart beat loudly in her ears, drowning out all others sounds.

Hazel eyes blinked in shock as they continued to gaze into clear blue ones.

The world shrunk down to this moment and seemed to stretch forever into eternity.

It was the slight smile and the tilted head that finally broke Buffy. She thought she would never see that particular look ever again and the sobs suddenly tore their way from her throat.

Buffy bent in half, hugged her aching stomach as the sobs seemed to come from her very core. She felt her forehead touch the concrete and the ripping cries continued.

All the tears she had refused to cry, now found their way out. All the grief she had pushed away, now ruptured from its hidden stores.

Buffy faintly heard voices and clashing sounds through the deafening sounds of her own cries, but it didn't really register. All she could do was struggle to stay afloat in the overwhelming surge of emotions.

Since Sunnydale, she had locked her emotions away. Her rage had released some but had trapped the rest and the day to day struggle of looking after 2 feral demons had kept the lid tight on everything else. But those eyes, finally looking at her with warmth and intelligence, well, there was nothing strong enough to hold back the flood then.

Hands lifted her and arms held her and she was dimly aware of movement, until she heard nothing but the sounds of her cries and a deep voice murmuring. Hands stroked her arms and back and a rocking movement helped to finally settle the voracious tears. Buffy felt lips and breath on her forehead and realised that someone was whispering nonsense soothers as they rocked her gently.

Looking up, her breath again lodged in her throat.

Blue eyes and a crinkling smile looked down at her. A kiss was placed on her forehead and she pulled her head back to lock eyes again.

"Spike?"

The smile on his face deepened and his arms tightened around her, pulling her tight against his shirtless chest.

Buffy pushed her hands against him and wriggled until she was sitting upright in his lap. Her hand drifted from his chest to his cheek and she ran her fingers along his angular cheekbone. He nuzzled his face into her palm, his eyes closing in bliss and she felt another sob catch in her chest. With effort, she forced it back, gazing in awe at the sight before her.

Spike - not dust, not feral, but here, WITH her, letting her TOUCH him, she almost couldn't believe her every eyes.

Taking her other hand, she slid it to her thigh and pinched hard. Her resulting yelp caused Spike's eyes to spring open, flashing yellow in that split instant. A rumbling growl shook the air between them as Buffy watched the now familiarly feral gaze skip around the room, looking for the source of Buffy's cry.

Patting his face gently, she softly called to him, calling his attention back to her. As the yellow eyes met her hazel ones, his grumbling growl shifted down until it drifted away and the yellow receded to allow the blue through.

"You're back."

It was a little while later that Buffy realised that she was curled up on Spike's lap and that they were in her living pod. He was seated in her bed, his back against the headboard, Buffy ensconced on his lap, laying along him with her shoulder against his chest and her legs tucked alongside his hip. Her arms were wrapped around his waist as she rested her head on his shoulder, his arms circling her and holding her safely to him. Her nose was pressed against his throat and she breathed in his scent with every breath she took. He was apparently doing the same, with his cheek resting on her head, his nose tucked in her hair and she could feel his breath as it wove its cool way through her blonde strands.

And as much as Buffy would have sold her soul to have remained there forever, her body had other ideas. Fighting the urge to squirm as her body made known some needs that had been unattended for a while, she sighed and reluctantly raised her head. Her heart skipped a beat as she felt his arms tighten momentarily around her, then relax and fall away slightly.

"Sorry, gotta..." she waved her hand towards the door that led to the tiny bathroom. Spike nodded and let his arms drift to her waist. Already Buffy was cursing her body and its selfish needs as she felt him release her from his embrace. She scrambled slightly and sighed as she felt him lift her up and off the bed, only releasing her once her feet were firmly planted on the floor.

She raced through her obligatory needs, desperate to get back to Spike side. She felt as though this was all a dream and if she let him out of her sight, it would all vanish like mist in the noonday sun.

Coming out, she could feel her heart stutter at the sight of the empty bed. No! was the only thing echoing around her head. But a movement to her right quickly settled that twitchy organ. Spike was standing in the very compact area that counted as her 'living/kitchen/dining room'. He was looking at his arms and wiping them with a wet dishcloth as though wondering what was covering him. At her relieved exhalation, he looked over his shoulder at her and his pinched look smoothed out to a welcoming smile.

She moved to his side and took the cloth from him and continued to wipe his arm for him.

"You know, this is only moving all that crud around. You REALLY need a proper shower." At his questioning raised eyebrow, she lifted her hand to his hair and tugged on the congealed mass that was once, a loooong time ago, platinum. Now, it was like a helmet stuck to his head. She shuddered as she thought about what was now in there and Spike's other eyebrow joined its brother and he raised his own hand and attempted to run his hand through his hair. Attempted that is. Both hands were now at his hair as he fiddled and tugged at the foul mass, trying to figure out what was going on there.

Buffy's nose scrunched up and she gently pulled him towards her little bathroom.

"Go, shower. I'll get some new clothes while you are in there. Shampoo and soap and towels are all in there, take your time." She opened the door and waved him in. With another smile, he slid by her and turned to watch her pull the door shut.

Just before she pulled it shut, she stalled.

"Spike?"

He pulled the door open enough to look at her quizzically.

"I... I missed you..."

He looked at her and she felt the tears gather in her eyes. Her heart was beating double time and she could feel the tears getting to spilling stage.

"You were gone and I missed you so much..." Yup, maximum tear volume was reached and they broke their banks to trail down her face.

His hand came out and wiped away the tears, this time it was her that nuzzled into his palm.

"I missed you too, Buffy."

Once the door was shut and Buffy heard the water of the shower start, she forced herself to move. She opened the door to the Pod to see a slayer patrolling past and asked her to head to the storage bay and grab some clothes for Spike. The slayer motioned to the kitchen area and mentioned that they just had a fresh delivery of blood, did Buffy want some of that too? Buffy merely nodded and ducked back inside, pulling the door shut.

The fear that Spike wasn't truly there was growing fast. She could almost feel it swelling in her chest. Holding a hand to her breastbone, she hurried to the bathroom door and with a slight hitch in her breathing, she placed her ear against the door.

Rushing of the shower was all she could hear through the metal door. Was that the sound of an empty shower? She felt her breathing start to speed up. Placing both hands flat against the door, she strained to hear anything that would indicate that Spike was still in there.

There! Was that a sound?

Her breathing hit hyperventilating stage and she watched as her hands began to shake. Pressing them firmer against the door, she rested her forehead to the cool partition and tried to breathe calmly.

Nope. She couldn't cope. She had to see.

Without another thought, she opened the door and stepped into the tiny steam filled room. Waving her hand to clear her view, she reached out and clutched the shower curtain.

Still there was no sound other than the rushing of water. Only now, the fear was so great that Buffy couldn't move. What would happen if she pulled back the curtain and no one was there? Buffy's breathing continued to race, her heartbeat a close second as apparently they fought to see who could be the fastest. Her fist clenched the curtain and Buffy felt her nails pierce the thin plastic.

No. She wasn't going to allow her fear to control her. Fear had controlled and damaged her whole life, not anymore!

With that fortifying thought, she drew a deep breath and pulled back the curtain.

And saw ... nothing.

Buffy swore later that she honestly felt her heart stop in that moment. Like a rock was sitting in her chest. Her terror almost causing her to seize.

Water streamed out of the shower head, steam filled the cubicle and nothing. No pale body stood under the spray, no blue eyes met hers in shock at her boldness to invade his privacy. Buffy's free hand clutched at her throat as though she was being strangled by some powerful monster. Her knees gave way and she slammed to the floor, the only thing keeping her upright was her grasp on the curtain. It slipped through her hand and her nails sliced their way down, causing a ripping sound to echo through the bathroom. The sound hadn't even finished bouncing around the room when she flung the curtain away as it tried to stick to her face.

It was then that she saw a flash of something in the steam.

She gasped and the inhalation moved the steam briefly and she saw Spike lying slumped on the floor of the shower, his head resting on the wall behind him, his legs criss-crossed in the cramped space. Eyes closed, arms hanging beside him, it looked as though he was merely enjoying the shower, but the utter stillness told Buffy that he was not so calmly enthralled.

Her adrenaline now raced around her shaking body and her heart was beating quickly for another reason other than terror.

The Slayer reached out and gently shook the silent vampire with no response.

Thinking quickly, Buffy reached up and grabbed the shampoo. Spike wasn't dust so there was hope, but this was the closest she had gotten to cleaning him up and she'd be damned if she let this opportunity slip by.

It took four thorough washes to shift the muck in his hair and by the time she had finished, his hair reached almost to his shoulders and only the very tips retained their platinum colour now. Even with the weight of the water, his hair attempted to curl and Buffy smiled as she allowed one strand to curl around her finger.

She hadn't bothered to wash Spike's body, not wanting to step over any boundaries...well, step over any MORE boundaries and she hoped that the sheer action of washing his hair so many times would be enough to clean the vampire.

Turning off the water, she dragged a towel down to cover Spike's modesty and another to towel him dry. She had been talking to him the whole shower, trying to rouse him, but had had no response, not even him taking a breath. She wondered what she would do once she had him dry. The space was too cramped to pick him up and she didn't think she could drag him out of the tiny tub like base of the shower without hurting him.

She had gotten drenched while washing Spike so once she had dried him off, she ducked into the main section of the pod to dry and change her own clothes. She noticed immediately that someone had left clothes and blood just inside the door and grasping the side of the bag, found the blood was still slightly warm.

Hurrying back to her vampire's side, she shook the bag, hoping the sloshing sound would rouse the silent demon. When that got no response, she tore the corner of the bag and waved it under his nose. Success as she watched him take a breath. A few moments passed and Buffy was considering pouring the blood down his throat when she saw his eyes twitching and soon yellow could be seen peeking through the slitted lids.

There was the familiar scrunching sound as flesh and bone transformed and she held the bag to his lips as his fangs descended and bit the plastic.

It took only a few moments for Spike to drain the bag and pull back slightly, his red covered tongue sweeping out to chase the few errant drops that clung to his lips.

This time, it was blue that Buffy saw peeking through his eyelids and a smile quirked the corner of his mouth.

"Couldn't wait to see this tight hot bod again, huh Slayer?"

Relief screamed through Buffy's body and she caught herself yet again on the ruined shower curtain. Shudders raced over her body as the terror was finally chased away and yet again, Buffy felt her tears flow. She couldn't wait until this day was over. Too much crying had happened and she was seriously over it.

She sagged until her head rested on the side of the tiny tub and she concentrated on controlling her shudders of relief. It wasn't until she felt the hand caressing her hair though that she was able to finally gain some control.

She breathed deep and raised her head, dislodging the caressing hand and sat up to glare at the exhausted vamp.

Now that he was awake again, she could clearly see he was beyond exhausted in the slump of his body and the way even his eyes seemed to be weighted down.

Saving her rant for later by the act of literally biting her lip, she motioned for him to try to stand and between the two of them, somehow managed to get the damp vamp out of the bathroom and into the bed.

Quickly slipping a pair of track pants on the still too skinny vampire, Buffy then tucked Spike into her bed, smoothing the covers down and fluffing his pillow, fidgeting until he caught her hand in his.

"Pet, stop."

With those two simple words, she ceased her unusual fussing and sat on the bed by his hip, her hand still clasped in his.

"Are you still hungry?" Her voice was quiet in the room and he shook his head, his drying curls bouncing slightly at the movement.

"Just for you luv" and he tugged gently on her trapped hand and without a thought, Buffy followed the action, crawling up onto the bed and snuggling beside him on top of the covers. Arms wrapped around bodies, heads snuggled closer to heads and soon Buffy was laying with her head on his shoulder. Spike's arms were holding her tight to him and she could again feel him resting his nose in her hair.

Silence filled the pod, but neither of them felt the need to fill it with words. They were content, for now, to simply feel the moment for what it was. Two people drawing and giving desperately needed comfort to each other.

It of course never lasts long, especially with these two.

A furious roar shook both of them from the sleep they had slipped into.

Buffy was on her feet before she even realised she was awake.

A feral snarl sounded beside her and Buffy knew that if she looked, Spike's demon would be in full view.

Another roar and Buffy was outside of the Pod before anyone could blink, Spike a split second behind her. Moving quickly to the only other creature here who would be the base of the fury, both Spike and Buffy reached the view of the cages in mere heartbeats.

Slayers were already around the cage and Buffy watched as Angel raged against the bars. She could see that he had managed to bend the bars he was currently thrashing against as the Freerange Slayers maintained a force around that spot.

What originally looked like Angel trying to attack the FreeRangers and the FreeRangers attempting to fight back was quickly squashed. Buffy could see that while they were keeping a weathered eye on the now insanely furious vampire, they were in fact scanning the area on the far side of the warehouse, the exact same spot that had Angel's intense attention.

Like the other times before, there didn't appear to be anything there that would account for Angel's fury. Unlike the previous times though, everyone knew that there was something, most likely a portal so everyone was on high alert.

As suddenly as it happened, it was over. Angel went from mid roar to a sudden snarl and his attention shifted from the empty spot to the people around him. His eyes skimmed over the FreeRange slayers and to Buffy and Spike and he fell silent immediately. His hands released their grip on the mangled bars and he glided smoothly over to where Spike and Buffy stood. With a blink and a questioning glance, the yellow slid from his eyes and for the first time since they arrived back, his vampire visage receded and Angel's human face came visible.

Confusion showed clearly and he shook his head as though to shake the understanding back into it.

His hands came up and rubbed his face, the heels of his hand then pressed hard into his sockets.

Buffy stepped forward, reaching her hand to the confused demon.

"Angel? Angel, can you understand me?"

Angel scraped his hands through his own foul hair and spun to pace the length of the cage.

On his return to them, Buffy could see the anger and frustration growing in the tall vampire.

Slowly, as the visible frustration grew on Angel's face, Buffy could see the man receded and the vampire take over. Until a soft snarl sounded and bumpies appeared and Buffy knew that the man was gone again.

That was until Spike stepped forward.

With a croon almost exactly the same as the one Angel used to his sick childe, Spike stepped up to the cage bars with his arm outstretched.

The sound seemed to catch Angel's attention and with a flash of yellow eye and white fang, he was at the bars, his snarl vibrating the air around them.

Still Spike crooned softly, his body proud and tall, not bend an inch to the warning obvious in Angel's snarl.

It only took a few moments, but they were heart-stretching ones to Buffy.

Slowly Angel stopped his snarls and leaned cautiously forward. Spike curled his hand around the tall vampire's neck and led him until they were touching forehead to forehead. Buffy realised that now both vampires were crooning softly and Angel's hand was resting on the back of Spike's head too.

Suddenly, Angel leaned through the bent bars and Buffy cried out when she saw that his fangs were buried in Spike's neck. Lightning fast, she was beside the blonde vampire, her fingers buried in Angel's hair as she prepared to throw him away from Spike.

But the gentle fingers around her wrist halted her and she let Spike pull her hand away.

She watched, partly in horror partly in fascination, as Spike somehow managed to get closer to allow the dark demon to drink easier.

Only moments later, Angel pulled back, his tongue swept over the fang marks, sealing them.

"Thanks boy"

Spike still gripped the other's neck and answered with a slight shake of his hand and a smile, before realising him and turning to the cage door.

Buffy went to stop him, but pulled herself back. She had pulled Spike from the cage area herself before knowing that he was 100% safe, she simply did what her gut told her. She would trust Spike in the same way.

Once the chains had been removed from the cage door, Spike and Angel met each other and gripped each other's forearms like warriors of old. A meeting of foreheads again and murmurings that were too quiet for the Slayer to hear and then they were turning to Buffy.

She caught the trail end of the conversation as she pulled herself back to reality

"...in the house thing, yeah Slayer?"

"Huh?" She blinked in confusion.

"Slayer? Angel here needs a shower and some blood, yeah?" A cocked eyebrow her way told her of his puzzlement over her vagueness.

"Su..sure" she waved both the vampires towards the Pod.


Apologies for the formatting. After trying to fix it umpteen times, I gave up and left it how it apparently wanted to exist :)