Chapter Forty-Three
An Altruistic Agenda
Mindoir, Attican Traverse
Two hours earlier…
The small shuttle skimmed the tree tops with such precision that Shepard could smell a pine-like scent in the crisp air. She stood by the open door, a strap wrapped around one hand, her helmet in the other. The slipstream buffeted her exposed face but she ignored her numb nose and cheeks, preferring to feel the chill.
They were close enough now that she could hear a familiar song over the shuttle's engines - the rattle of weapons fire in the distance. Another scent mingled with the pine – the arid, eye-watering tang of smoke. It became denser as they approached, offering a hint of the scale of the violence that had been inflicted on the settlement. The strap strained at its anchor as her grip tightened.
Anticipation bred an uncharacteristic impatience. Knowing that Liara would be watching her closely, Shepard made a conscious effort to relax. How many times had she stood in similar positions in her previous lives? Poised on the cusp of violence. Waiting to throw herself into the game of 'kill or be killed'. Doubtless too many times to count. For all the fear she still felt, for all the nerves, Shepard knew that this was her world. As much as she hated to admit it, this was the most appropriate homecoming she could have.
Shepard felt the gentle pressure of gloved fingers against the back of her neck. She looked over her shoulder, caught sight of Liara out of the corner of her eye and responded with a nod. It was time. Everything changed as she adjusted to the confines of her helmet. The visor's tint concealed her expression. She was just another faceless grunt – albeit one wearing an extremely expensive suit of armour. With her free hand, she reached over her shoulder to claim the reassuring grip of her Harrier.
Liara settled into position at her side. Although her bondmate was wearing a faceless mask of her own, Shepard felt a sense of calm radiating outwards. She resisted the urge to reach out to her. Quiet moments for tenderness had long since passed. In moments their boots would hit the ground and there would be time for nothing except the mission at hand. At the back of Shepard's mind nestled her grave concerns about Miranda and Jack, but she had to accept the fact that the two talented biotics were more than capable of taking care of themselves. Her priority had to be securing the settlement.
The shuttle hovered, whipping the blades of grass below into a frenzy. Shepard was the first onto the ground. As soon as her boots hit she was moving, not feeling the need to tell the seasoned warriors at her back to follow her lead. Between Liara, Samara, Javik, and a squad of asari commandos, the biotic potential was immense.
Bright lights whizzed across her field of vision. Shepard's mind had to work to process the fact that someone was actually shooting at them, one shot even grazed her shields. Huh, that's gunfire. Liara's panicked shout drove her to recover quickly. She shouldered the Harrier and sent an excited burst in response. The sudden impulse brought to mind advice she herself had given countless times – 'don't shoot unless you can see your target clearly.' Up ahead all she could see were shadows moving through the undergrowth. Calm down.
Behind her, Shepard could sense the rest of the squad fanning out in a practised formation. Only seconds later, she heard the sweet sound of the first of many biotic explosions. That was before an urgent shove sent her barrelling into the cover provided by a ruined vehicle.
Her shoulder plate slammed into the twisted metal. Liara tucked in beside her, Carnifex in hand. Even though Shepard could see nothing of her bondmate's face, she could clearly sense the frustration in Liara's posture.
"Just because you think you are invincible, does not mean you are!" the asari snapped. "Yes it is a battle and it is terribly exciting, but that does not mean you can simply stop and stare!"
"My reactions were a split second late, Liara," Shepard muttered. Although inwardly she was thinking it actually was quite exciting. Circumstances dictated against grinning, but she felt exhilarated all the same. "Are you going to follow me around and criticise every action I make?"
She knew Liara was glaring at her behind the visor. The moment passed quickly. Liara was already turning away, seconds later her body disappeared in a flash of blue energy as she threw herself into a biotic charge. Shepard resisted the urge to make a cutting retort over the comm, instead keeping her thoughts to herself. And I think I'm invincible? I'm not the one showing off in front of a bunch of commandos.
The thump of gunfire against her cover brought Shepard back into focus. The fact that their shuttles hadn't drawn any fire prior to landing meant that the surprise had worked. Their unknown foe hadn't been expecting additional resistance. One advantage. It was also a probable indication that they had no idea of the numbers that had just landed. With one shuttle landing on the opposite side of the settlement, Shepard hoped that the ruse had created a degree of confusion. The second advantage. Now they just had to deal with the fact that the opposing force clearly had the numerical superiority and the advantage of anonymity. Her teams needed to hit hard and fast.
There was no clear pattern in the rattle of small arms fire that filled the air. One moment she heard the brutish repeat of a Mattock, the next the rapid patter of a Tempest punctuated by the solid retort of a Claymore. Nearby she could hear a symphony of biotic explosions, but she caught only blurs of movement. Two commandos remained at her side. Shepard could recognise neither behind their helmets, but she suspected that Liara had ordered them to stick with her.
The need for urgency pushed her from cover. Keeping low, Shepard moved into the dense undergrowth. As the terrain closed in, she stowed her Harrier and retrieved her Wraith. The compact shotgun whirred into life eagerly, as though it possessed a life of its own. The Jorgamund suit exceeded the promise it had shown within the confines of the ship. Moving felt effortless and Shepard had no difficulty in setting the pace for the two commandos. As she punched through into the settlement proper, she needed to replay Liara's warning in her mind. She wasn't invincible. It just felt like it.
The enemy finally started to take shape – although remaining anonymous in unmarked armour. Anonymous enough for Shepard to feel nothing other than a sense of purpose as she started to kill. The first fell all too quickly: a heavy set figure clearly still responding the velocity of the attack, unable to bring a weapon up before Shepard unloaded the Wraith's clip into his chest. The first shot had been enough to punch through his armour and the second killed him outright, but she fired the third into the falling body regardless. Only as she was ramming a fresh clip into the weapon did she realise that her heart was hammering in her chest.
Kills came swiftly after that, everything became a blur in the muddy streets between the prefabs. With the two commandos providing all the heavy firepower she needed, Shepard moved building by building clearing a bloody path. In the close quarters, she was grateful for the Wraith. It was clear that the street fighting prior to their arrival had been just brutal. Occasionally Shepard would look down to find herself staring at a dead Alliance soldier. There was never enough time to confirm whether it Jack nor Miranda. Instead Shepard would push on, trusting that both her friends had managed to survive the onslaught.
At the moment that Shepard dared to think that combat was easy, an unmistakable dark shape fell towards them.
"Grenade!" A split second after the word left her lips, the grenade impacted against the earth. Tendrils of electricity arced outwards, seemingly alive as they searched for her tumbling body. The moment her shoulder hit the ground, she rolled. Her shields flickered, but held. The earth sizzled and smoked in the wake of the arc grenade.
Tucking herself into cover, Shepard scanned her surrounds. She'd lost sight of the two commandos. Smoke and dust obscured her vision. Shepard wasn't overly worried. She knew most of the team were close by. She'd seen glimpses of Samara. Just as she remembered from their days aboard the Normandy, the justicar preferred to fight alone but was no less effective for it.
"Liara? Any clues about their identity?"
She suspected that Liara was somewhere amongst the commandos, using their warp as a primer for her biotic charge.
{Absolutely none.}
Liara made her answer sound as though it was a personal insult that she was unable to ascertain the identity of their foe. Shepard could hardly blame her. So far she'd encountered humans, turians and batarians – Something massive burst out of a ruined doorway a scant distance in front of her. Her reactions kicked in and she threw her body to one side as an armoured figure barrelled past her, swinging its arm. Shepard narrowly avoided the wicked blade fixed below the barrel of a Claymore as it swept over her head.
And one Krogan! Shepard thought as she tucked into a roll.
{Have you located any civilians?}
At the moment that she heard Liara's voice, Shepard was preoccupied with the Krogan that seemed to have made it his personal mission to reduce her to a bloody pulp. The initial wild swing of the Claymore was quickly followed by a savage thrust. Shepard was forced to throw herself into the dirt, scrambling back to her feet just as the Krogan pulled the trigger. Most of the spread missed, but a decent chunk slammed into her shields. Enough fragments passed through to ping against her armour. A ruined paint job was the least of Shepard's concerns as she turned, taking advantage of the Claymore's slow reload time.
{Shepard?}
"Bit busy here!" Shepard snapped as she surged forward.
She emptied the Wraith's clip directly at the Krogan. He responded with nothing more than disgusted grunt as the shot hacked at his shields, peppering the leathery grey skin on his face. Shepard had fought Krogan countless times before, throughout the galaxy, but there had always been a team backing her up. So much for my bodyguards.
The prospect of taking one on alone had never really occurred to her. Because I'd have to be batshit crazy, she mused a split second before the Krogan charged for a second time – barrelling forward with a blood-curdling roar. Shepard thought she ought to feel fear as she effortlessly dodged the enthusiastic charge. However what coursed through her veins wasn't fear at all, but exhilaration. As his massive bulk moved passed her, Shepard spun – deploying her omni-blade mid-movement – and used her momentum to drive the blade upwards. Angled perfectly, it pierced the weak point between two plates. The Krogan roared in pain, wrenching his body to one side and shattering the blade. Enraged, he discharged the Claymore at her moving body. The spread missed entirely. Fuelled by pain, he began stabbing. The thrusts were wild, but through sheer force Shepard found herself falling backwards. Instinctively Shepard snatched for the blade, hearing the dull clink of metal against the otherworldly substance of her left hand. Without knowing whether she actually could, Shepard grasped and twisted. The blade sheared off at the base. Before the Krogan could react Shepard flipped the broken blade. With a savage grunt she drove it upwards, forcing it through the leathery folds of skin at the Krogan's throat and up through the roof of his mouth. Following a surprised gurgle, the body dropped like a stone.
Shepard was already moving, reloading the Wraith as she pressed forward. It wasn't until she was forced to take cover from a hail of gunfire that she realised her heart was hammering in her chest.
{Shepard?}
"I'm fine, Li," Shepard replied breathlessly. She peered around the corner, flashes peppering her vision. "No civilians yet. Just one very dead Krogan."
A biotic thump nearby drew her attention. Her commando 'bodyguards' fell into place at her side, both wore sheepish expressions.
"I'm sorry, we lost you when that arc grenade went off. Cyrene's shields are fried," one apologised. She nodded towards her comrade who was slumped against a wall, looking decided singed around the edges.
"No explanations necessary. I've already got one asari babysitter, I don't need any more," Shepard replied, already searching for her next move. There was still heavy fighting in and around the settlement, but she could also hear gunfire in the distance. "This is Shepard: beta and delta squads, have we got anyone one click north?"
{Negative, alpha,} It was Kurin answering. {We haven't pushed that far out yet.}
Shepard turned to her two companions. "My money's on the Alliance garrison. The two of you hold here. Don't do anything stupid with those shields down. Beta squad? Kurin, rendezvous on my position. I think we've got friendlies in need of some assistance."
{We're just to your left flank. There's some resistance here but nothing that will delay us up for long.}
The sensible part of Shepard knew that she should wait for beta squad, but her anxiety drove her forward. The gunfire continued up ahead, punctuated by light explosives and biotic explosions. She may have been hearing things, but Shepard was sure she heard the cascading thumps of Jack's shockwave.
Even as she moved, Shepard's mind was busy trying to analyse what was happening. She'd never been much for high level tactics, the kind where the brass plotted everything out and sent the grunts in to execute a plan which made no sense on the ground. The situation on Mindoir felt like one of those plans - all bang and absolutely no substance. If the attacking force's goal had been to achieve chaos, then they'd succeeded. However in terms of anything tangible, there was nothing other than a remote colony with no wealth.
And currently no civilians, Shepard mused. A shadow gave away movement around the corner up ahead. She rounded slowly, startling a human woman wearing dark armour. Her shields went down with the first shot from the Wraith, the second blasted away much of her chest plate. The woman slumped, her youthful features twisted in pain beneath her visor. Shit. Shepard paused. The merc couldn't have been more than eighteen.
The woman rolled onto her back, staring up at Shepard with a terrified gaze. What a waste. Although her long years of service were telling her not to leave a wounded enemy at her back, Shepard couldn't bring herself to empty her clip into the helpless merc. Nor could she spare the time to do anything for the young woman.
Her jaw tight with anger, Shepard followed the sounds of combat up ahead. Signs of heavy fighting littered the ground – spent clips, scorch marks everywhere…and bodies. There were a few mercs, but most were Alliance. More kids. They'd survived the Reapers, only to be cut down for no apparent reason. There was still no evidence of Miranda or Jack. Shepard moved faster.
{I need a medic at my coordinates five minutes ago!}
Shepard immediately recognised Kurin's voice. The rest of the exchange was just noise in her ears as she broke into a controlled run.
With the human's blood drying on her hands, Kurin sat back on her haunches and let the medics work. Decades of training reminded her that she shouldn't remain in one place on a battlefield, but inwardly she was reeling. Kurin could not, and would not, bring herself to look at the woman lying only a few feet from her. She knew Miranda Lawson only from the picture she'd once seen, and from Ashley's limited comments. A trembling exhale escaped her lips. Of all the lives to save.
{Shepard? Are you alright?}
Kurin picked up on the unmistakable concern in Liara T'Soni's voice, even across the distance. Her first instinct was to play the seasoned commando to perfection, rolling her eyes at the connection. However it lasted only as long as Kurin ignored her own hypocrisy.
"Yes, fine. I'm with Miranda and Jack. They're both pretty banged up, but-"
{We have no time for reunions, Evan. The Pserimos has picked up more vessels incoming - at least half a dozen. Now might be a good time for one of your plans.}
Kurin looked to Shepard. Stared hard. Their surprise attack had been wildly successful, but there were too few of them to mount any sort of resistance against a second wave. "You've got a plan for that?"
"No. I really don't."
Kurin was grateful for the honesty, but it didn't help matters. "Goddess."
She hadn't intended to say anything, and thankfully no one was listening to her. The medics were still working on the petite human. Kurin couldn't remember her name. There was little point in asking. Miranda Lawson was still sobbing quietly in Shepard's arms, oblivious to anything around her. Kurin's thoughts immediately went to scorn, before she banished them – feeling ashamed of herself.
Almost subconsciously, Kurin hauled herself to her feet. She swept her gaze across the horizon. She heard sporadic fighting around the settlement, however the rapid barrage of biotic explosions told her that they had probably won the field. For the time being at least.
"We need to get out of the open," Kurin said to anyone who would listen. Or get the hell off this damn planet.
"Miranda, hey…" Shepard prodded gently. "Where are the colonists? Are they safe?"
When Kurin didn't hear a reply, she supposed that Miranda had simply nodded. At least the irritating sobbing stopped. She didn't know the exact extent of their casualties. They were light, but their numbers had been paltry to begin with. Nowhere near enough for what was to come. And running was out of the question.
"Captain?"
The medic's face told Kurin everything she needed to know.
"She's fading fast. We need an immediate evac."
In all likelihood it was too late. Kurin doubted whether the Pserimos would be able to escape the system.
"No one else is dying here," Shepard growled in a harsh voice. "Call in the evac for Jack-"
{We have confirmation on the incoming ships,} Liara's voice interrupted Shepard mid-sentence. {They are not hostiles. It is a fleet from Omega.}
"You're shitting me?" was Shepard's eloquent response.
{I am having trouble believing it myself, but it appears as though Aria has decided to send actual troops after all.}
It was Kurin's turn to gape stupidly. "You really are shitting me," she whispered. She didn't know what the human saying meant, but it sounded appropriate. That bitch. She turned me down to my face, said it was a human problem.
Just over an hour later, the fighting had died altogether. With a small swarm of shuttles and several larger craft clustered around the settlement, Kurin felt secure enough to actually sit down and take a brief moment for herself, leaning against a prefab, pressing her cheek to the cool metal. She desperately needed to calm down.
Aria hadn't simply sent troops, the Queen of Omega had deigned to come to Mindoir herself.
Aria was out there now, sauntering about the battlefield, thinking herself some sort of saviour. Kurin narrowed her eyes. If she had to overhear someone else utter their profound gratitude to that bitch even one more time…well, the results would not be pretty. Arriving hours late and barely even lifting a finger to help was not impressive.
The help had come too late to save the lives of two of her squad.
The pathetic remainder of Mindoir's garrison had emerged from hiding. Less than a dozen humans, almost all walking wounded. Miranda Lawson had organised those that were able to retrieve Mindoir's colonists from the caves in which they had taken refuge. Kurin went out of her way to avoid Ashley's lover, but from a distance the calm, composed soldier bore no resemble to the sobbing mess of earlier. Worst of all, Miranda managed to wear blood and grime better than anyone Kurin had ever seen.
The dying human had been evac'ed to the Pserimos as soon as possible. Her prognosis was poor.
And throughout it all, Aria continuously hovered at the edge of her vision.
Fucking, sanctimonious bitch, Kurin thought venomously. Still, a part of her was grateful. A very small part. The rest of her was apoplectic.
Kurin didn't know what was worse – being forced to witness Miranda Lawson's perfect face first hand, or the Queen of Omega's condescending presence. It was almost enough to force her to consider retreating to Thessia and taking up vows as an acolyte in the service of a lesser Matriarch. She already knew being an acolyte wouldn't make her happy, but at least she would retain her sanity.
"Hey, everything alright?"
She jerked into a standing position at the sound of Shepard's voice. Kurin turned to find the human soldier looking irritatingly composed and fresh enough to head back into action. There was barely even a mark on her matt black armour. Kurin fought down her veneration – she's just one human – and fixed a scowl on her face instead.
"Of course. I was just taking a moment out. Sorry. Did you need me?"
"You don't need to apologise, Kurin," Shepard replied quickly. She hunkered down in front of Kurin, honest compassion on her face. "I'm sorry about your commandos. They fought bravely. As did all of you."
"Their names were Helia and Bax. They were exceptional girls." The dead commandos had hardly been girls. Both were several decades old than Kurin. "Still, we saved most of the colonists…and Miranda Lawson." She didn't intend to sound quite so bitter about it.
"You wish you hadn't?"
The scowl deepened. "What kind of an individual do you think I am?"
"An honest one," Shepard said as she rose back to her feet. A weary sigh indicated that she was actually normal.
"I hate her, I don't wish her dead." Kurin muttered. She was anxious to steer the conversation away from dangerous territory. "Now what? We've saved the colonists. Do we leave them to fend for themselves?"
Shepard shook her head. "They'd be sitting ducks without the presence of the garrison. There's no other option but to take them with us when we leave."
Despite the fact that it wasn't remotely amusing, Kurin snorted. "To Omega? I'd love to see Aria's face when you make that request. I'm sure she'll be thrilled to provide a nursery service for several hundred human colonists-" She paused. Shepard was staring at her with a strange, almost smug expression on her face. "Why do I get the feeling you know something I don't?"
Much to Kurin's irritation, Shepard began walking away without answering the question. In that moment Kurin realised just how infuriating the human actually was.
"Shepard?" she demanded.
"Aria offered her hospitality," Shepard finally replied.
Kurin was left gaping like an idiot.
"What kind of game are you playing?"
When the Queen of Omega turned around, Kurin did her best not to flinch at the predatory expression on Aria's face. This was dangerous territory to tread, but she'd long since ceased caring what Aria would do to her if sufficiently enraged.
Regardless of her probable future as a bloody corpse, it was too late to decide against the confrontation. And Kurin couldn't deny that a part of her wanted it. Aria waved away the handful of attendants in their vicinity, creating some measure of privacy in the lee of a pre-fab. Leaving no witnesses to murder, Kurin thought, trying to suppress the irrational desires that flooded her core. Then Aria's lips curved upwards in a contemptuous sneer and her fury returned.
"These are people's lives you're playing with!" Kurin stalked forward, stabbing her finger in Aria's chest. "You can't just shift them around like cargo…like eezo! They're not a commodity to be bargained with."
"Why not? They have a value, the same as everything else."
"They haven't escaped one lot of slavers to end up in the hands of others!"
Aria's smile disappeared suddenly, replaced by a fury of her own. She advanced, forcing Kurin to take several steps back. "Whatever you think I am, whatever I may be, I don't deal with fucking slavers!"
Kurin felt the heat radiating off Aria's body and her knees almost buckled. This is ridiculous, she thought as she squared her shoulders. I don't want to fuck her. Ever.
"Forgive me if I think your motives are anything but altruistic," Kurin replied. She was beginning to regret speaking to Aria at all.
"And why would I care what you think, little soldier?" Aria's voice was cold, her eyes narrow.
Kurin shook her head in disbelief. "I asked for your help, and you refused. You said this wasn't your fight."
"I am here because I chose to come. Saving lives is not purely the domain of heroes."
"You chose to come to Mindoir to help defend an Alliance garrison from attack, then you chose to agree to uplift the entire population? Why? Because you're saving lives?" Kurin refused to be cowed by Aria's physical presence. "By the Goddess I'll find out what you're doing, and if you hurt any of these people…" Her voice trailed off. How was one supposed to threaten Aria T'Loak?
Aria simply regarded her with an amused expression, as though she was some species of performing animal.
"The real question here is why do you care enough to try to threaten me?" Aria asked. She was already walking away, having decided that the conversation was over. "Run off and find yourself some useful employment, little soldier. I'm sure Shepard's boots need kissing."
Kurin waited until she could no longer see Aria before allowing herself the luxury of a deep breath. She slumped against an obliging wall, wondering what she had done to piss the Goddess off to deserve her current situation.
A career as an acolyte was looking more appealing with each passing day.
AHC Pserimos, In Transit
The lights were dimmed low in the Pserimos' medbay. Enough so that it should have been both instinctive and necessary for Miranda to succumb to sleep, but she stubbornly refused to allow herself such a luxury. Her sole concession to bodily comfort had been to remove her armour. She remained in her filthy compression suit. Her face was still encrusted with the dirt and grime from Mindoir, save for a shiny swath of medigel covering the gash on her forehead. An insistent and painful ache radiated out from her thigh, where the debris had struck during their flight, but Miranda hadn't even bothered to look at it. A limp for a few days wasn't going to kill her.
All in all, she'd escaped the carnage on Mindoir relatively unscathed, making the wretched manner in which she'd broken down in front of Shepard and the asari commandos all the more embarrassing. She was alive, which was more than she could say for most of Mindoir's garrison, and the only lasting scars would be those of her own creation.
Unlike Jack. Naked save for a medical gown and thermal blanket, the petite biotic appeared to be only a few steps removed from death itself. Miranda tilted forward on her chair, studying the rise and fall of Jack's chest - as though her concentration would somehow keep Jack alive. Despite the extent of the damage her tiny frame had taken, Jack stubbornly and steadily continued to breathe. It was all the more remarkable considering that Jack had been kept alive solely by the combined efforts of the asari medics and Mindoir's civilian doctor.
"Game's up, Jack. I know your agenda," Miranda spoke aloud even though Jack was unconscious. "You wouldn't want to pass up the opportunity to spend even more time pissing me off."
Her lip twitched into the barest of smiles when she remembered where they'd started. Jack had been half-feral and constantly snarling with pent up rage following the breakout from Purgatory. Miranda had viewed the convict as little more than an animal, viciously arguing against recruiting her into the Normandy's crew. Never in a million years would she have expected to find herself watching over an unconscious Jack, actively concerned whether the other woman would wake up.
Miranda startled when she heard the door open. Her body jerked away from the bed. Clearly her subconscious was unnerved at the fact that she had been hovering over Jack. She felt no relief when she saw Shepard standing just inside the threshold, if anything her ex-lover's presence made the whole situation worse.
"How's she doing?"
"Vitals are stable for the most part. Brain activity is erratic - a good sign."
It was a clinically detached answer, revealing nothing of the feelings she kept buried. Miranda wanted Jack to wake up. She needed Jack to wake up. After all, it was how a friend would feel. However she had forgotten just how well Shepard knew her. Shepard simply folded her arms and tilted her head to one side. Miranda came slightly undone. "Jack's too damn stubborn to die."
"Of that I have no doubt," Shepard replied, closing the distance between them. "How are you holding up, Miranda?"
Shepard had come to stop just behind Miranda's shoulder, so close that she could almost feel the warmth radiating off the ex-Commander's body.
Miranda swallowed. Her throat was dry. "You can see for yourself that I'm fine, Shepard."
"I'm not here to argue with you or tell you what you should be doing, but this...sitting here in the dark, torturing yourself, it's not healthy. Jack will live or die on her own terms, not because you're here watching her like a hawk."
"I suppose you're going to tell me to get some rest?"
"That...and to tell you that Liara's made contact with Ashley," Shepard announced quietly. "They're in the middle of a briefing at present but there will be time for the two of you to talk...if that's what you want."
She immediately noticed the slow deliberation of Shepard's words, carrying with them a hint of caution. Miranda didn't even bother to summon a sigh. Of course Shepard knew. In fact her ex-lover probably knew even more than she did.
Miranda bit her bottom lip, tasting blood and salt. Despite forgiving Ash, that wound was still raw. The relevant question lay poised on the tip of her tongue, but she couldn't bring herself to ask it. It wouldn't be Shepard's place to say and Miranda doubted whether it was even something she needed to know.
Ash was hitting the ground in a few hours, she'd play the role of the dutiful girlfriend.
"Will you let me know if Jack's condition changes?" Miranda asked as she stood to leave.
"Of course," Shepard replied promptly, but she regarded Miranda with a quizzical expression. "You and Jack? Have things moved past wanting to smear each other across the walls of the Normandy?"
Miranda looked over her shoulder. "That was always Jack's thing, not mine. But…you might say that."
Although the walk through the corridors was a relatively short distance, it seemed to take an age. At first Miranda let herself feel nothing more than a sense of obligation. It was a ridiculous notion, designed to trick herself into thinking that she still harboured some amount of resentment towards Ash. By the time she reached the comms station, leaning against a bulkhead as she waited for Liara, her anticipation had made her almost giddy.
"I am sorry I do not have more to give you, Ashley," Liara was saying. "There is a team working on tracing material we took from Mindoir, but their analysis will not be complete in time to be of any use to you. The best I can do is to urge caution. The force we encountered was both well-equipped and well-trained."
{You know me, doc, I'm not exactly known for my caution,} Ashley replied. {Especially where family is concerned. But we won't be going in blind thanks to you.}
Miranda couldn't see the screen, but the tone of Ash's voice spoke volumes. Her lover was tired. Fatigue clung to every word. Despite the light-hearted remark, Ash sounded scared. The prospect of being able to reassure Ash in some small way tugged Miranda forward.
Wearing only thermal booties, her footsteps made no sound. Liara turned to look at her nevertheless, offering up a gentle nod to indicate that she was ready to step aside.
"Stay safe, Ashley."
{You're signing off?}
"Not quite. I have someone here whom you might be more interested to speak with."
Liara stepped aside, allowing Miranda full access to the small screen. Somehow she schooled her features into a mask of calm – more for Ash's sake than her own. Wavering slightly when Ash's expression morphed into one of uncensored relief and joy.
{Hey you.} Already some of the fatigue had disappeared from Ash's voice. {I was kinda worried you wouldn't want to talk to me, at least not yet.}
"Only you would be ridiculous enough to think that," Miranda retorted in a soft voice.
Somewhere at the back of her mind she was aware of Liara making a discreet exit. Her focus remained on the screen. Ash looked as tired as she sounded. Dark circles ringed both eyes and her usually flawless skin was pale and patchy. The truly awful purple hair was still present - growing out at the roots - adding to an air of dishevelment. Overall it was a persona that was a galaxy away from the buttoned up marine Miranda had first met. It definitely wasn't the face of someone who looked as though they should be heading into combat. Miranda suppressed her anxiety, fixing a determined smile on her face instead.
{I knew you'd pull through,} Ash said, her dark eyes practically burning through the screen. {Are you alright?}
"Yes. Unscathed, really...but I wouldn't be talking to you if it wasn't for Jack." There was no reason to conceal that fact. Somehow it was important to Miranda that Ash knew. "She saved my life, nearly giving her own in the process."
{Then she saved mine as well.} Ash suddenly turned her head, as though distracted by something off screen. She responded to whomever or whatever it was with a curt nod. Her lips were parted slightly when she looked back to Miranda. {You know I want nothing more than to stand here talking to you all day, but duty calls, sweet cheeks.}
"You really need to stop calling me that." Miranda wasn't in the slightest bit serious. "And I should hope that you want to do more than simply stand around and talk to me."
Ash's expression lightened. "You know full well what I want to do to you."
"Then stay safe," Miranda said as an intense warmth flooded her cheeks. "Find Sarah. Come back to me."
{I'll be back before you know it.}
"I'm serious, Ash." Miranda leaned close to the screen. "Remember everything Liara said. These aren't random mercs. And you're not back to full health."
{Chakwas cleared me for duty,} Ash replied somewhat stiffly.
"Don't go all defensive on me, Ashley Williams. Chakwas is your CMO, I'm your girlfriend. I'm not saying you shouldn't lead the ground team, just that you need to remember you're only human."
{That I'm not Shepard you mean.}
"No. I don't. The only comparison is in your head. The Galaxy needs you, Ashley Williams, regardless of what doubts you might have." Miranda paused, bit her lip. "I need you. That never changed. Regardless-" Miranda stopped herself before she could finish the sentence - Regardless of what you did. "I love you."
{I love you too, M.} Ash's lips curled into a brief smile. All too brief. {And I can't promise that I will take things easy, but I will be careful. I'm getting damn sick of all these vid conversations with you. Williams out.}
The communication ended. So I am, marine, Miranda thought, staring at the empty black screen as though it had swallowed any vestige of what was good in her life. She turned away. An odd thought filtered into her head. How was it that someone like her could descend so deeply into the saccharine clutches of romantic love? She paused and drew in a deep breath. In the past she'd always made a point of remaining aloof, making it easy to extricate herself from her lovers.
Shepard had almost been different. At least in the fact that she had actually been in love, although unwilling to admit it to herself for a long time. However that particular problem had been solved for her. Shepard and Liara were meant to be. She'd only ever been a warm body in the cold. Miranda shivered slightly. She was being an idiot.
Her need for sleep had only intensified, but Miranda knew actually sinking into unconsciousness would be next to impossible. Not while Ashley was on the ground. Instead she gravitated back to the infirmary.
Shepard was still there, keeping her promise to watch over Jack. The fact that the soldier was still wearing her compression suit was the only hint that she had also been in combat several hours earlier. Otherwise Shepard looked as though she was ready to go another round. As Miranda reclaimed her seat at Jack's side, the scientist in her briefly speculated how fascinating it would be to study the woman sitting opposite her. The inappropriate thoughts were quickly scrubbed from her mind, but not before Shepard picked up on her furrowed brow.
"What?" Shepard asked simply.
Miranda shook her head. It wasn't a deliberate attempt to be difficult, merely an unwillingness to share. She shifted her gaze to Jack instead. Nothing had changed. Jack lay on her back, lips parted slightly in unconsciousness. Miranda half expected the woman's eyes to snap open, an expletive ready. "What the fuck are you doing sitting beside my bed, Cheerleader?" Jack could call her Cheerleader for the rest of her life. She wouldn't care. As long as Jack woke up. Miranda tried to tell herself it was simply because she didn't want Jack's death on her conscience. Unfortunately she knew otherwise.
"Do you have a plan?" Miranda asked. She didn't know why that particular question slipped out. They'd only just clawed themselves out of one mess. Ashley was about to be in the midst of another.
She looked up, met Shepard's gaze again. They'd always been honest with one another. Often brutally so. Shepard wasted no time in shaking her head. Miranda was hardly surprised. This was unlike anything they had faced before. Dealing with the Reapers was almost simple in comparison.
"Everything I have is at your disposal, Shepard. However little that is worth these days."
"It's worth everything," Shepard replied quickly. "Don't sell yourself short."
A self-deprecating laugh emerged from Miranda's lips. She leaned back in her chair and held out her hands, palms up. "This is the sum total of everything I have. Me. I have nothing else."
The flood of emotions was surprising, until Miranda remembered how desperately tired she was. Shepard's expression looked suspiciously like pity. Miranda wanted none of it.
"You must have something better to do."
Shepard shook her head. "Nope."
"I was politely asking to be alone." Miranda hunched forward again, closing herself off.
If she was being honest with herself, she would have asked Shepard to stay. Somewhere at the back of her mind, probably born out of jealousy, was the desperate need to uncover the other party in Ash's infidelity. Shepard knew who it was. Of that Miranda was certain. Petty thoughts aside, first and foremost she simply wanted to talk with someone who could help her make sense of it all. Jack had helped - in her own unique fashion - but Miranda needed more. She needed someone to tell her what she had done wrong.
"You should sleep," Shepard chastised gently, already moving towards the door. "I won't be far if you need me."
In Shepard's absence, Miranda settled back into her chair. It was unyieldingly hard, guaranteeing that she would not fall asleep anytime soon.
Time passed in an indiscernible fashion. Marked only by Jack's laborious breaths.
With the silence restored, Miranda's thoughts were given free reign. It gave her time to admit her asinine line of thinking. There was nothing to be gained from the knowledge she sought. What use would a name be? Or a face? Other than to compare of course, and Miranda already knew she didn't want to go down that route. She slumped forward, clasping her face in her hands. A part of her wished that she was still on Mindoir. At least fighting for her life gave her something to do.
Miranda didn't move until she heard the swish of the door. Even then she simply straightened, suspecting that Shepard had returned to bodily drag her out of the infirmary.
"Ms Lawson?"
It wasn't Shepard. Miranda had enough pride left to be embarrassed at her filthy state, but she looked up at the newcomer as though there was nothing out of the ordinary. The dusky skinned asari with pink markings was immediately familiar. Despite the chaos of those moments, she wouldn't forget the face of the individual who had come to her rescue. The asari remained just over the threshold, her manner clearly agitated.
"Captain Kurin. Please, call me Miranda." Miranda rose to her feet, not realising that it was a mistake until she needed to discreetly clutch at the bed to help her remain upright. She felt faint and nauseous, desperately trying to disguise her weakness by moving forward, extending her hand. "I believe I owe you my life."
Kurin accepted Miranda's outstretched hand. The asari's palm was cold and clammy, but the handshake was firm. "I was just doing my job."
Miranda tilted her head to one side. "An asari captain under the command of a human fugitive, rescuing humans. That seems to be going above and beyond your job."
Kurin withdrew her hand quickly and squared her shoulders. "Shepard isn't simply humanity's hero."
"No, she's not. Forgive me, Captain, I have made you uncomfortable and that wasn't my intention. Quite the opposite actually." Miranda had no desire to question the asari captain's reason for being involved. Despite her exhaustion, she was shifting back into Operative mode. Apparently old habits were difficult to shake, and analysing the situation took her mind off other things. "Shepard is a compelling individual, but she would not have been able to save Mindoir's colonists without help. I must confess that I am still struggling to understand why Aria T'Loak would involve herself to such an extent."
"Aria's reasons are her own," Kurin replied in a guarded voice. "And she does not do anything without personal gain."
"Agreed." Miranda loathed Omega, and Aria, self-styled Queen of criminals and scum. Aria was also an unknown quantity, something that no one could control. "But I digress, you did not come here to get dragged into a political discussion."
A hint of a smile creased Kurin's lips. "Another time perhaps. I came to offer you the use of my quarters - to shower and rest. After all that has happened, I thought you could use a quiet space."
Miranda inclined her head. "You're very kind, Kurin, but I couldn't possibly-"
"Refusal is out of the question. I insist."
"Then...thank you. Again." The prospect of a shower almost drove Miranda to tears. She turned to cast one last look at the bed, feeling a stab of guilt at the thought of leaving Jack alone.
"I can stay with your friend," Kurin offered quietly.
"Jack," Miranda replied, smiling her gratitude. "Her name is Jack. And thank you. I'm further indebted to you."
"You owe me nothing, Miranda," Kurin was quick to reply, unable to meet Miranda's gaze for some reason. "Nothing."
SSV Normandy, Chasca Approach
Although the relief of having seen Miranda safe and sound was immense, Ashley couldn't afford to lose focus. She tightened her grip on the rail in front of her, as though somehow staring at the Galaxy Map would carry the Normandy to Chasca faster. After pushing the frigate beyond all reasonable limits, they were less than an hour out. Ash closed her eyes for a moment, praying that they would arrive in time - for Sarah and for all of Chasca's colonists.
"Ma'am?"
Ash opened her eyes and looked over her shoulder, even though she already knew she'd find Lieutenant Grenier. She'd never seen the man look so unkempt. Grenier looked as though he'd slept in his uniform and had simply rolled straight out of bed. Ash let everything slide. Someone he loved was on the ground, and he was sick with anxiety. She knew exactly how he felt.
Grenier had requested to join the ground team hours earlier, as Ash would have expected. Disappointment had clearly registered in his gaze when she'd turned him down, but he remained the consummate marine. She was grateful for that. It was strictly against regs, but there was plenty of precedent on the Normandy for both the Captain and the XO serving on the same ground team. However Shepard had vets like Garrus Vakarian to back her up. Ash didn't have the same depth of experience in her current crew. With one last glance towards their destination, Ash descended from the platform and stopped just short of her XO.
"Lieutenant..." Ash paused and lowered her tone slightly before she continued, "Leon…I know just how difficult this is, but I'll do everything in my power to keep Sarah safe. I'll get her out of there and back to us."
He nodded. "I trust that you will, Captain Williams."
"The Command is yours, XO," Ash said as she made her way towards the elevator. "I'll be in the shuttle bay until we drop."
"Godspeed, ma'am," Grenier replied sincerely.
Ash paused, a slight frown on her face. "I didn't know you believed in God."
"I don't," he shrugged. "But you do. If it helps, even a little bit, then I'm willing to give it a go."
"To tell the truth-" What? I don't know what I believe anymore? How reassuring is that? Ash sighed. "It does help, Leon, and we're going to need all the help we can get."
Ash dwelt on Grenier's professionalism as she made her way down to the shuttle bay. She felt for the young Lieutenant, having to remain on the ship while his girlfriend was in danger. She could only guess as to what her response would have been had Shepard decided to leave her out of the team bound for Sanctuary. On one hand she would liked to have thought that she would have behaved as professionally as her XO. However, if she was being honest with herself, Ashley knew that she would have let her emotions get the better of her.
Still, Miranda was safe. All going well on Chasca, they would actually see each other within days. With the mere thought of seeing Miranda again threatening to override everything else, she banished it to the back of her mind. She opened her locker and focused on its contents instead. Her Black Widow nestled at the centre. Ash reached for the sniper rifle instinctively, but she stopped just short of touching it. She reached for her Valkyrie instead.
Sam Traynor was standing on the opposite side of the bench when she turned around. Unlike Ash, the Ops Chief was already fully kitted out. Compared to the first time she'd donned armour some months earlier, Sam was starting to look at ease in the hardsuit. The Locust SMG that Ashley had specially modified was strapped to Sam's leg.
"All set, Traynor?" Ash set the Valkyrie on the table and methodically began stripping her uniform.
"Five by, ma'am," Sam replied in a tight voice. "I heard the team on Mindoir had it rough. Do you think Chasca will be as bad?"
"No idea," Ash's voice was muffled as she pulled her shirt over her head. "Scanners are only picking up three vessels in orbit."
"Only?" Sam laughed sarcastically.
Ash caught the slight twinge of panic in Sam's voice and the fear in her expression. While Ash wasn't worried about the numbers they were up against, she was terrified for her baby sister. However unlike Sam, she couldn't afford to let it show. "C'mon, Traynor. You serve on the Normandy. When have the odds ever been that good?"
"It's just that I'm not normally groundside with people shooting at me."
"Surely you haven't forgotten about Gurkhan already? You were groundside with an entire merc army shooting at you."
"You do have a point, ma'am," Traynor replied, a slight grin creeping onto her face.
Now clad in her underwear, Ash caught Traynor staring at her for a few moments longer than was strictly comfortable. She'd almost managed to forget that her skin was still covered in Calisto Callaghan's tattoos.
"Shit," she whispered, mostly to herself. "Miranda's heading to Omega. We get done with this op and she's going to want to...well, suffice to say, she's going to see these works of art."
Sam had since turned her back. "In all honesty, I don't think the Lieutenant is going to care."
Perhaps Sam was right. And at that moment God awful tattoos ought to have been the least of her concerns. Ash resumed her preparations, rolling her compression suit up over her legs. She ignored the way in which the usually skin tight garment now hung loosely around her thighs and hips. Regardless of her lack of conditioning, the act of suiting up brought with it the focus she had so desperately been searching for. Methodically, Ash went through the motions. She'd performed the same tasks so many times, she knew everything by route. The pieces of her hardsuit snapped into place, sealing the most fragile parts of herself away from the chaos that was to come.
With the Valkyrie stowed on her back and her helmet tucked under her arm, preparations were complete. By now the rest of the ground team were filtering into the shuttle bay. Most were already kitted out, some were performing last minute checks on their gear and weapons. Ash scanned those assembled. She had vets like Petrova and Fleeting, but there were still too many FNGs amongst their ranks. Kids like Hwang and Swift who still hadn't seen enough action. Those that were unused to combat like Sam Traynor. Still, it was what she had to work with...and they were all Normandy crew. Every last one of them.
Ash cleared her throat, yelled out over the soft din. "Listen up, marines! Stop your smokin' and jokin'. Briefing in five!" She turned to find Sam still staring at her weapons locker. "Everything alright, Traynor?"
"Sorry, of course. It's just that…you're not taking your Black Widow?"
Ash shook her head. Despite the fact that she felt naked without the sniper rifle, she made no move to retrieve it. "No, I'll need to keep my eyes on everything for this one. That gun limits my field of view, makes everything seem distant. As much as I love the Widow, she needs to stay here."
A/N: AoF is back. Apologies everyone for the massive break between chapters!
