Feeling a bit like I'd just been slapped, I blinked at my husband, waiting for some kind of explanation as this blonde bimbo's words echoed in my mind again: 'I don't think I've seen you since I moved away after you left me at the altar, so to speak.' My husband had been planning on marrying someone else and didn't see fit to tell me? I tried to keep calm, but my natural jealousy and possessiveness was taking over. I looked at the other woman. She couldn't be more different than me if she'd tried. She looked more like Ima: tall, willowy, blonde. If that was his type, then I sure as hell didn't fit it, so why was he with me? My insecurities were taking play in my mind, too and I honestly didn't know what to think.

Just a few moments ago I'd been leading my husband up to the roof so we could finish our anniversary with some hot sex under the stars, with the possibility of getting caught making it even sexier, and now I was here, standing with my husband and some woman I didn't know, who'd almost ended up being the one sharing anniversaries with my other half. Sex was so not gonna happen now, and I sighed inwardly in disappointment. I didn't want this to lead to a fight, but I had a feeling it would, because of the lying. I didn't care that he'd almost been married before, at least not enough to fight with him about that.

Running a hand through my hair, I knew I had to get out of here before I said something I regretted. I knew he would understand that. He knew, perhaps more than anyone, that I needed time to process so I didn't say things I didn't really mean. I hated doing that, but when my emotions were in control, I often said hurtful things. It was part of my self-defense, and an awful part, which is why I tried to avoid saying things until I had processed whatever happened. "I just remembered I have to go talk to Brie and Skye about something. I'll, uh, be home in a little while. I can get a ride from one of them," I made my excuses and bolted.

Despite my need for time to process, I knew Juan hated the feeling that I was running, because part of him feared he'd push me too hard and I wouldn't come back. That was why I'd said I'd see him in a while. I'd wanted him to know I wasn't leaving for good. I just needed to think. I was trying to convince myself that he had a good reason for not telling me about her, but I really couldn't figure out what that reason was. I had told him about every important relationship I'd had in the years we'd been apart. He'd been engaged to her. She HAD to have been important to him, at least at one point even if she wasn't anymore.

Of course, my insecurities were trying to fuck with my head. If she was his type, I definitely wasn't, so why did he pick me? Why marry me? Was this something he'd rushed into too soon and would regret later? I knew rationally that he loved me and he wanted to be with me, but there was always a fear in the back of my mind that he'd change his mind one day and I wouldn't be enough anymore. Everyone else had, so why wouldn't he? I really tried not to let that thought enter my head most of the time. Therapy had mostly convinced me that I was worth it, and the right person wouldn't leave. I knew he was my right person, but what if I wasn't his?

Thoughts like that were not going to help, I knew. I tried to push them out of my mind as I walked over to my old apartment. I didn't really want to have to discuss this with Brie and Skye yet, but I didn't have any other option, really. If I didn't go over, Juan would end up following me, because it wasn't safe right now. I knew he'd be worried if I went out for a walk on my own like I wanted. I rounded the fence that separated the two buildings and stopped in my tracks as I saw a familiar figure standing there, holding a bottle of Crown. I watched as he took a drink and started walking towards the building.

Unsure of what to do, but feeling my natural instincts to take care of people I care/once cared about, I warred with myself for a few moments before I walked over towards him. "You're not gonna find me in the apartment. My names still on it, but Brie and Skye have been living in it alone since I moved in with Juan almost a year ago," I was pretty sure he probably knew that, but I couldn't think of anything else to say. I probably should have turned around when I spotted him, let him go up to the apartment and have Brie and Skye let him sleep it off there without me having to see him, but I didn't. I knew my emotions were not in the right place for me to talk to him, but I found myself walking toward him anyway.

Spinning to face me, Matthew stumbled and I noticed most of the bottle was missing, and wondered how much he'd drunk, exactly. Matthew had as many issues as I did, or more, and he was very good at putting up walls to keep his emotions guarded. When he drank, though, he was definitely more open, flirtier, more honest. The voice in the back of my head was still telling me to turn around, but I didn't listen, though I couldn't explain exactly why I didn't then. "Kayak," was all he said (Long story, but it was his nickname for me.) as I finally got within reaching distance, and before I even realized what he was doing, he had pulled me closer and crashed his lips to mine.

For a brief few moments, I let him kiss me, even kissed him back, but then the thought of Juan, combined with the fact that kissing Matthew did nothing for me anymore, except remind me of how much better it was being with the other half of me, had me stepping back and breaking the contact, none too soon. I heard the running footsteps and barely glanced over my shoulder before Juan had tackled Matthew to the ground, punching him once they'd landed. Matthew tried to fight back, but he was drunk and Juan wasn't. "Shit," I murmured under my breath, looking over my shoulder to see if anyone had followed him, but saw no one.

Jumping out of the way so they didn't knock into me, I tried to yell at them to stop, turning more fully so I could head back to the garage, but then I saw Chibs and Jax, both standing and leaning against the fence. "Why are you just standing there? Do something!" I shouted, but Chibs said Juan needed to do this, and he'd step in if he needed to, and Jax nodded in agreement. I was not going to just stand here and let the two of them beat each other up though. I turned back to the fight, trying to get close enough to get between them without getting hurt.

Before I could do anything, arms wrapped around my waist and Chibs had lifted my feet off the ground, pulling me back. "He'll be fine. He wants me to get you out of here, though. Come on, lass," he tried to set me back down and lead me away, but I struggled against his grip, trying to get to my husband. Chibs wasn't letting me get away, though. He apparently was going to do what Juan wanted him to do, damned what I want. He hoisted me up and threw me over his shoulder, heading back to the garage. I watched the fight as he walked me away from it, and the last thing I saw before he rounded the fence was Matthew landing a hit to his jaw.

Throwing me into the back of an SUV, he closed the door before I could scramble out of it, and when I grabbed the handle, I realized the child lock was on. I leaned over and tried the door on the other side, but it was also child locked. I cursed under my breath, and was about to climb into the front seat when Chibs climbed in. He started the car and began pulling out of the lot before I could get into the front seat. I sat back, because even if I had been in the front seat, I wasn't jumping out of a moving car, and if we stopped at a light, I could have gotten out, but I didn't want Juan to worry about me if I took off.

Sighing, I felt the guilt settle onto me. I didn't really actively kiss Matthew back, but there were many things I could have done to prevent the kiss and I hadn't. I also had let it go on too long before I'd pulled away. I couldn't figure out why. I was trying to work it out in my head, but I couldn't figure myself out. I knew that I loved Juan. I knew I didn't want to be with Matthew anymore. I had no doubts about my feelings for my husband, or I wouldn't have married him, so why the hell had I let another man kiss me? It could be my tendency to self-sabotage. I tended to screw shit up because so often things went wrong for me, I felt more in control when they fucked up due to something I did. I didn't think that felt exactly right though.

When the car stopped, I looked up, noticing I was at home. I looked to Chibs, who was getting out, and then opened the door for me. I slowly got out of the car, and headed inside. I knew he wouldn't be leaving until Juan got here, and I didn't feel like saying anything to anyone except my husband, so I decided to go in and wait for him. I kept mulling over my reasoning, trying to figure it out, but I was no closer to answers when I heard my husband's bike pulling up a little while later.

While I'd been waiting, I'd gotten the first aid kit. I wanted to be able to take care of any injuries he had. I sat on the couch with the kit on the table in front of me as I heard the front door open and close and then waited for him to come find me. I couldn't stay seated when I saw him though. Not as bad as the last time he'd been beaten, but Matthew had gotten in some hits. Aside from bruising that was starting on his jaw, his lip was split and he had a cut on his eyebrow. I walked closer, my eyes filling with tears I wouldn't let fall because I'd been the cause of this, and I reached out, leaving my hand just a few inches from his face, waiting to see if he was going to let me touch him.

Leaning his face into my hand, he reached up and cupped my jaw, meeting my lips in a heated kiss. I was surprised, but I clutched him, pressing myself against him. I only pulled away because I knew this was not gonna solve anything. I didn't get a chance to speak before he started speaking though. "I should have told you about Chloe. I just never expected to see her again. I never wanted to. I was wrong to keep it from you. I'm sorry, angel," he said and suddenly the weight of his words had me sinking into my previous spot on the couch.

Holding up a finger to show I needed a minute, I tried to process this quickly. I realized he knew me better than I knew myself. I had allowed Matthew to kiss me, not out of any feelings for Matthew, but because I was hurt by what had just happened with Chloe. I had let Matthew kiss me to punish Juan. I hadn't even realized it at the time, but he had, and he accepted that, and even apologized for keeping her from me. How the hell had I ever gotten lucky enough to find him? "Don't apologize. You're right, about all of it. I shouldn't have let him kiss me. I just want you to know, that I have no feelings for him. It was purely reactive to meeting your ex-fiancee. I don't love him anymore, and I don't want anyone other than you," I assured him, reaching out to take his hand as he sat on the couch next to me.

From the relieved look in his eyes, I could tell that I knew how worried he'd been about that, even though he hadn't said anything. I realized it wasn't exactly how normal couples might have handled this situation, but who was to say what's normal and what isn't? It worked for us. We each reassured each other, and I knew we'd be able to move on from this. I did end up making a passing comment about how it didn't seem like I was his type, as I was cleaning the wounds on his face. "Krystal, don't you know? YOU are my type. Not any particular look. It's all you, only you," he said, then added, "I know you're worried, but don't want me to think you're worried for the wrong reasons, so I'll tell you. He'll be fine. I left him with Tara to clean his wounds, then Brie and Skye are going to let him stay there for the night and send him on his way in the morning." I was grateful to hear that, and glad he understood why I was worried, and sent him a smile before returning my attention to his wounds.

A/N: I hope you guys liked the chapter. Matthew's story apparently wasn't over yet, so here he is. Please review. I waited till today to update cuz I was hoping to get more reviews, but I decided to just post it anyway. Thank you to everyone who reads and reviews. I appreciate all of you.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.