Something didn't feel right to me as I was getting ready and heading to the hospital. Rat escorted me, as Juan had instructed him to do, but I couldn't stop worrying about what was going on with my husband, if he'd found my other attacker or not. I asked Rat to let me know as soon as he knew what happened, and he said he would, since he was set to stay at the hospital today anyway, since both Tara and I were working today. Jax wanted one of the guys here, and Rat was the one he'd picked.
Halfway through my first appointment the bad feeling only got worse. I hadn't been puking in the past week, with or without smoking, but as soon as I finished that first appointment and went back to my office, I had to run to my bathroom and puke. I was still on my knees in front of the toilet when I heard my office door open. "Krystal? Hey where are-" Tara cut off in the middle of her question as she realized I was in the bathroom, and she came in, getting some paper towels and getting them wet before handing them to me.
Thanking her, I took them, wiping the back of my neck, and my face before wiping my mouth. I turned to look at her, noticing the look on her face, and my stomach revolted again, causing me to dry heave, because I'd already thrown up anything I'd eaten today. She leaned against the sink and stroked my hair as I waited out the dry heaves, then turned to look at her again. "What happened? What do you know?" I asked her without getting up, just in case. I thought it was a good idea to stay next to the toilet until she said whatever she had to say.
Looking upset that she had to be the one to tell me this, she hesitated for a brief moment, but I just waited, knowing that she'd need no further prompting from me. "He was shot. Jax is taking him to the clubhouse right now, but that's all he said. He wanted me to get you, and have Rat escort us there. You want me to drive?" she offered, holding out her hand to help me up. I just nodded, unable to speak as all kinds of horrible possibilities ran through my mind. I took her hand and let her help me up, then followed her to the cutlass, getting in the passenger side.
The seconds seemed to drag on as she drove to the clubhouse. I just wanted to see my husband, wanted to know he was okay. I needed to kiss him, to hold him. I felt a breakdown coming, but I knew I could hold it back until I saw him. I knew if I saw that he was okay, or at least not too badly injured, I would be able to keep from freaking out, but until then, I was barely holding myself together. I was out of the car as soon as she pulled into a parking space, before she'd even put it in park. I held my arms wrapped around myself as I hurried into the clubhouse.
Looking around as I burst through the doors without breaking stride, I saw the doors to the chapel open, my husband on the table in there, with a few of the guys around him. I didn't even register who was there, my eyes were solely on my husband and I was no longer walking quickly, but broke into a run. I pushed past Jax and looked my husband up and down. It seemed like the only wound he had was a gunshot in the thigh, and I stroked his head, tracing his tattoos as I looked into his eyes. I could tell they'd already given him a pain killer. "I thought I told you to be careful, asshole," I said, my eyes filling with tears that I wouldn't let fall. I think my emotions were welling because I was so relieved it wasn't worse.
Reaching out, he took my hand, lacing our fingers together. "Where's the fun in that?" he teased, trying to calm me down more. He didn't say anything about me calling him an asshole because he knew me well enough to know that I didn't mean it seriously. I rolled my eyes at him, but laughed, which had been his intention. I bent down to kiss his forehead before I moved down to examine his leg. Tara had already made her way into the room, and she'd cut his pants out of the way. Chibs was also in the room, but Jax and Tig, who'd also been around, had both left us to take care of him.
Without my needing to ask, Tara told me that the slug was still in his leg, but it wasn't very deep, so once we removed it, we'd be able to stitch it up. I slipped on some gloves and started helping her. I let her remove the slug, and then I stitched his leg and bandaged it. I realized I hadn't done anything yet about my appointments, so I asked Chibs to take Juan home in the van, and since Tara was going back to the hospital, I'd ride with her, and then I could rearrange some things in my schedule and drive my truck home after that. Rat was following Tara and I back to the hospital again.
Sighing, I slumped into the passenger seat of her cutlass and leaned my head against the cool glass as she got in and started driving. She reached over and gently squeezed my hand. "Hey, it'll be okay. It wasn't that bad. He'll heal pretty quickly and be back to normal before you know it," she assumed I was worried about his recovery, but that was a fair assumption actually. I knew that he was going to be okay though. I had enough schooling to know what was and what wasn't a bad gunshot wound. He'd be back up and around in a few weeks at most.
Honestly, my mind was just running through the danger I'd put him in, once again. I guess he would have been risking himself if it had been any of the other old ladies, too, but still. I hated that there was so much risk with the club. I'd never ask him to give it up. I just wished I could protect him, in a similar way that he wanted to protect me all the time. I hated seeing him get hurt, hated him being in pain. I wished I could take away anything that put him in danger or hurt him, but that was my issue, not his. I was protective over everyone I loved, but I knew I couldn't control everything. "I know. Thank you," is what I chose to say.
After rescheduling my appointments, I got in my truck and headed for home. The van was still there, so I waved at Rat as he headed back to the hospital so he could watch over Tara and escort her home when she was finished. I went inside and waved at Chibs, who left as I went upstairs to the bedroom to find my husband. He was in bed, apparently asleep, so I crawled in with him, carefully crawling over and lying next to his left side and resting my head on his chest as I snuggled into his side.
Apparently, he wasn't asleep completely. His arms tightened around me and he reached up to start playing with my hair. "I'm sorry, angel. I guess being safe isn't something I'm the best at doing," he murmured, and I could tell he was high on the painkillers. I breathed him in, trying to be thankful that it wasn't worse. This time. I didn't know what I'd do if there was a next time. Although, it was more than likely when, not if. I knew the guys were trying to get clear of the things killing them, but it still worried me that I'd lose my husband before there was a chance.
Due to my hormones, I started crying before I was able to stop myself, and I felt him blow out a sigh. I took in a deep shaky breath and let it out slowly. "I can't lose you, Juan. You know that. I want to protect you, too. I know I can't, but you know I'd do anything to keep you safe. It's not even just because I love you. You're my other half. What hurts you, hurts me. It's as much self-preservation as anything," I sighed. "I understand the demands of the club though, and I understand there are going to be times when you get hurt. I need you to be happy, and this club, your family-our family, actually-makes you happy. So I will deal with worrying about you when I have to," I said, stretching up to give him a kiss.
For a moment, he didn't say anything, just stared at me. I cocked an eyebrow, asking silently what it was he was thinking. I knew he'd hear my unspoken question, so I didn't say anything. "I've said it before. I'll say it again. I'm damned lucky to have you," he said and I laughed. "Hey, I'm serious. I can't lose you either, Krystal. My reaction to you being in danger is different than it used to be. It's a club reaction, I admit that. But that's who I am now. I need you to be safe, and I need everyone else to know that if they hurt you or threaten to hurt you, they're going to have to pay for that. I can't risk losing you. I live, I breathe for you. I know you worry about me, but I'm a hard person to kill. Self-preservation is a reason I keep you safe, too," he was high, but I could tell how serious he was.
His words shifted my point of view a bit, though. His reactions were club related now, and always would be. I hadn't really thought of it that way. He wasn't intentionally putting himself at risk just to hurt the people who hurt me. That just happened to be an outcome. He was just reacting to things differently now. His reaction was to seek revenge now, not just let it go and let me deal with things. He simply didn't think about the risk to himself, thinking only of what happened to me and how he could make it right. That part hadn't changed. The danger of the enemies he fought for me had, but that was more of a result of who he was now than me.
Running my own fingers through my hair, I smiled, nodding and giving him another kiss. There was something to be said about finding the other half of yourself. I didn't have to explain everything that went on in my head to him. I knew instinctively how he was feeling most of the time. We each knew what we needed from each other to make things work. Sometimes it took us some time to work it out, figure out the right way to play things, but we always seemed to manage. I knew we always would. We'd both grown up since the first time around. We'd matured and we knew the proper way to deal with things, individually and as a couple.
The twins drew my attention to the fact that I'd thrown up the only food I'd eaten today, so I got out of bed, stripping and then looking through our dresser. I found a black tank top with the reaper on it and paired that with lime green basketball shorts, for comfort, and then went to the kitchen to make us dinner. It had been a long week, and I knew we still had to deal with both Chloe and Matthew, but now wasn't the time for either. It was time for me to eat dinner with my husband, then cuddle and watch TV until we went to sleep.
A/N: Thank you to those of you who read and reviewed the last chapter. It was much appreciated. I've almost got names and sexes picked out for the twins, but if y'all have any suggestions, feel free to let me know and I'll make sure to give you credit. I really hope y'all like this chapter. Please let me know what you think!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
