October 20
2038
Number of lustful glances directed at yours truly: a staggering sum
Number of times encouraged to make haste, else cause riot: just 1, but quite enough to soothe injured ego
Am image of feminine perfection. Am sex goddess supreme and all shall bow before me. Am beauty beyond all, destined to become immortal during D-District poetry slam sessions.
Okay, so yeah, maybe all of those prisoners were extolling my praises to the heavens because their testicles have been abused in most merciless fashion, subjected to years of withheld testosterone, which I'm fairly sure begins to ferment if not released into aerobic environment...
At any rate, feeling rather pleased with self.
Was feeling very down, due to Rinoa telling me that perhaps I would have better luck in love department if not quite so--
"Well, you do act kind of picky sometimes, Quisty. I mean, it's not like you're going to be able to land a guy as wonderful as my Squall if you don't lower your standards a bit."
Bitch will die at my hands. Perkiness should break rather satisfyingly under my fingers, I think. I believe the perkiness gland is situated just behind the trachea. Unsure, as slept through anatomy and passed with a B. It didn't help that my sub-dermal tectonic plates chose this morning to shift, forcing a mountain that would rival Vesuvius to appear on my chin, nor did it help that my uterus is currently in clutches of vengeful menstrual spirits, writhing in utter agony whilst possessed by said spirits.
So, in full-on hormonal depression, set out to complete tasks assigned by "wonderful" Squall, who is not on my list of favorite people either. Upon reaching D-District and being frisked by a guard that takes great pride in his work, I was led to a common room for interview with great criminal mastermind and former student Seifer Almasy.
Should I ever feel as if will cry because of catty comment made by supposed friend, shall promptly hop in car and drive to middle of desert to be ogled by desperate men. Amazingly refreshing, though feminist in me is suitably outraged by my behavior. Shall seek angry protest with glitter poster in hand at next opportunity, perhaps to show support for plight of female Shumi. Of course, must determine which Shumi are in fact female.
So, seated across from Seifer (who, incidentally, appears to have utilized the prison weights during his incarceration. first ten minutes of interview was series of stuttered 'umms' and 'uhhs' as I was woefully distracted by biceps. (must work on this in order to continue interviews.), I both ignored and relished the various hoots, whistles, and 'hey babys' that drifted my way from other prisoners.
I think Seifer was amused. He certainly smiled at me a lot, which could also mean that he is also suffering from pent-up sexual urges, however his smile seemed less desperate and much more...
Well, it's best that he is in prison, otherwise would likely have him chained to closet door so can utilize his what-must-surely-be prodigious bedroom talents at leisure. I've never had a slave before, though my Trepies would gladly sacrifice their freedom in order to serve my every desire. Voluntary servitude doesn't have the same ring, though. Seifer would be challenge, thus more fun to abuse with whip. Or riding crop. Perhaps feather as well. Definitely not handcuffs.
Due to dangerous smile and very direct, penetrating--note to self: must think of words other than penetrating. Must remember to purchase thesaurus.--gaze, obvious that he knows full well that he has total control wearing those metal bastards, thus no fun for me, not that I would tell him, if it ever comes down to it.
Am unimpressed with prison and its inability to break spirit of war criminal. Also unimpressed with coffee. Tepid and weak, much like punitive system. Am certain that I could do much better job. Am also certain that I will be miserable tonight, as have no date and out of batteries.
Must remember to call Xu and seek advice.
