(Juan's POV)
As soon as the bomb went off, Krystal stumbled and tripped with the force of the explosion. I threw my body over hers to shield her. It had been so chaotic, I had no idea if everyone had gotten out or not. My leg was throbbing from the way it'd hit the ground when I'd thrown myself on my wife, but that was the least of my worries. I rolled off her after all the debris had stopped flying, checking to make sure she was okay. "Angel, are you alright?" I asked, looking her body over even as I saw her moving and flexing muscles and limbs to check and see that they were okay.
When she rolled her ankles around to check them, I saw the wince, she looked down at her left ankle. "I think I twisted it when I tripped, but it doesn't feel too bad," she stood, testing it, and the grimace on her face told me it was bothering her, but she could deal with it. She reached her hand out to me to help me up. "What about you, Ace? Are you hurt? More than you already were, I mean," she added wryly. I accepted her help up and quickly assessed, then shook my head.
Once she knew I was okay, she started looking around, standing on her tiptoes. I knew she was doing a mental inventory, looking at everyone gathered, trying to see if anyone was missing. I started doing the same thing, and after a moment noticed Nero, looking around, frantically calling Gemma's name. I started looking for her, but I didn't see our matriarch anywhere. "Shit," I murmured. She looked at me, then noticed Nero looking for Gemma as well, I could see the moment when the reality that Gemma was missing and what that could mean hit her. She clutched at her mouth. I knew she was holding back a wave of nausea.
Five minutes later, we'd all come to the conclusion; there was only one place that none of us could look for her. My wife couldn't control her nausea anymore, leaning over to vomit in a trash can. I rubbed her back, feeling sick myself, but since I wasn't pregnant, I managed it without vomiting. Gemma was the only one missing, and Tara was holding Jax tightly. Nero was sitting with his head in his hands. I sat down on the concrete, watching our clubhouse go up in flames as the firemen finally started arriving to put out the inferno. Krystal sat beside me, wrapping her arms around me. I leaned into her and buried my face into her chest. I wasn't aware I started crying, but soon I noticed her shirt was wet with my tears.
This was getting to be too much. First Opie, and now Gemma? They'd destroyed our clubhouse, torn apart our family. There would be no doubts now. We were ending our relationship with the IRA; we'd just have to figure out the smartest way to do it, and get our revenge, without losing more lives. I felt my wife shuddering with suppressed sobs even as she comforted me, and I was proud of how far she'd come. I knew it had been a rocky start with her and Gemma, but they'd gotten close while planning the wedding together, and I knew she was hurting over this, too, so I wrapped my arms around her waist and rubbed her back as she continued to hold me.
Without my noticing, Brie and Skye both came over, sitting on either side of Krystal. I looked around and saw that almost everyone else had gathered in a kind of half circle, watching as the firefighters tried to save what they could of our clubhouse. Some of the guys were holding tight to their Old Ladies; some, like Nero, were just crouched on the ground, or sprawled out, taking in the destruction on their own. Some were openly crying, while others were trying to hide their tears, and others still seemed to be in shock and unable to cry. I looked up at my wife, noticing she'd stopped her tears, and I realized then that she had already cried as much as she would allow herself to. She hated crying, even when she had good reason, and she tried her best to be the strong one.
While I was staring at my wife, who was lost in thought as she stared at the fire, Chloe approached us. I eyed her warily, and Krystal moved only her gaze, which made me realize she was more aware of our surroundings than I'd thought. The blonde daintily sat on the ground, hugging her knees to her chest and looking at me. "I'm sorry this happened," she gestured to the building that was starting to emerge from the flames as the charred remains of what it used to be. I didn't say anything, and neither did my angel. "I'll be leaving tomorrow. I guess the reason I really came is because the guy I've been seeing asked me to marry him. I've been so confused about what happened with us, that I didn't know what to say," she paused, pursing her lips thoughtfully.
Still, neither Krystal nor I said a word. I wasn't sure where she was going with this, but I'd already said everything I'd needed to say to her. "I guess I'm still not sure I understand exactly, but I can see now how happy you are, and that everything worked out for the best. You never looked at me the way you looked at her. And I don't think I ever saw you as happy as you are now, even with everything that's going wrong. I just want you happy, Juice, and now that I know you are, I think I can finally let the past go and let myself be as well," she smiled, then looked at my wife. "Take good care of him," she said to her before she stood and walked away.
Tightening her grip on me for a few moments, I heard Krystal murmur, "I will," more to herself than anyone else as the blonde walked away. I gripped her tighter, too, tilting my head back to capture her mouth. It was probably the wrong moment, but it brought us both comfort, I knew, and when I broke the kiss, I shifted our positions so I was no longer sitting between her legs as she held me, and pulled her over, draping her legs over my lap and letting her rest her head on my chest so I could rest my cheek on her temple. She had her arms wrapped around my neck and hands linked, but Brie shifted her position, too, scooting over and resting her head on Krystal's shoulder, and Skye was on the other side, placing a comforting hand on Krystal's thigh as her other hand grasped Wendy's and they had their heads leaning against each other. Chibs moved as well, staying close to Brie with an arm wrapped around her back.
It was hours later, past 3 in the morning, by the time the firefighters left, and we all decided to finally go to our homes, and the guys would come back in the morning to assess damage and see what we could salvage. Jax had already placed a call to Jacob Hale to see what kind of property we could get from him to use as our headquarters until our clubhouse was rebuilt. I could tell my wife was dead tired, but I also knew she wouldn't be able to sleep when we got home, so when we were in her truck and she started driving, I asked her to drive somewhere else. "Let's go to that hill that you took me to the first day we had sex," I suggested.
Cocking an eyebrow at me in silent question, she headed towards the hill instead of heading for home. I didn't need her to speak the question. "You're not going to sleep anyway. Let's go there. We can smoke, lay under the stars, just hold each other for a few hours until you have to go to work and I have to go meet with the guys. It's our place. I want to hold you and do some healing, draw some strength from each other before we both have to deal with life today," I said and she considered this, reaching out to take my hand and squeeze it while she told me that sounded perfect.
As we lay beneath the stars, I tried to wrap my mind around the fact that Gemma was gone. I couldn't picture things without her. She was the matriarch of our club. So many things she took care of would fall apart now. I felt awful for Jax, who was going to be dealing with losing his mother. I couldn't imagine. I wasn't close to my mother anymore, but I would still be wrecked if I found out she'd died. I decided to go see her soon. Hell, Gemma wasn't even my birth mother, but the whole club had looked to her like a mother figure. I couldn't believe she was gone. I felt awful for Nero too. As horrible as losing a mother was, I would lose everything if I lost Krystal. She was my world, and I only hoped neither of us had to lose the other for any reason again.
Absently drawing designs on my chest as she rested her cheek on it, I knew she was as lost in disturbing thoughts as I was. She placed a kiss on my chest, then turned her amazing green eyes on me, eyes that held so much pain from the past, but still managed to hold so much love for me it hit me like a punch in the gut every time I looked into them. "Whatever you do, whatever happens now, I need you to be safe. I need you to come home to me, to our babies. I've been trying to picture what it'd be like to be Nero, to lose the love of my life, and I can't. I can lose anyone. I have lost almost everyone. I can't lose you, though. I wouldn't survive that. I can survive anything else, but not losing you," she said, her voice thick with emotion.
Reaching up, I cupped her face, wiping away a tear that had slipped from her eye. It didn't shock me anymore when our thoughts were so eerily similar. I was getting used to it. We were almost always completely in sync. She was my better half, and lucky for me, I was hers. "I can't survive losing you either, angel. I feel terrible for Nero right now, but I'm so glad I'm not him, so thankful I still have you, can still hold you here in my arms. I'll always come home to you. I would do anything for the club, but I live for you. I will do everything I can to come home to you every day," I promised her. She needed reassurance often, I knew, but I would always reassure her. It was part of her anxiety that needed me to constantly reaffirm my love, and what she meant to me, but it was no hardship to do that. It was the honest truth, and I had no problem reaffirming it as often as she needed.
As much as I took care of her needs, she took care of mine, emotionally, physically. Every need I had, everything I never knew I wanted, she was it, and if I could give her even half of what she gave me back, I would be happy. I wanted to give her everything, though. She deserved it. I realized then that more than needing to hold each other and heal, she needed to feel. She'd shut away all her emotions when she stopped crying, and I realized that feeling sounded good. I'd never felt more than when we were making love, and I knew she felt the same way, so that was how the sunrise found us, laid out on that blanket making love.
A/N: This part has had a lot more chapters with Juice's POV, but I've kinda liked writing them. I hope y'all enjoy reading them just as much. I hope y'all liked this chapter. Please review! Thank you everyone who reads and especially my faithful reviewer!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
