Note: Hi guys! Here is another chapter. I'll be away soaking up the sun in the Caribbean for the next week. I'll try to update from the beach somewhere...lol. I am so sick and tired of the winter storms and constant snowfalls.
So, this chapter is instrumental because its going to be the springing board for what's to come. Please don't forget that Jax and Tara are my OTP. Never forget that...
XOXO
Chapter 8
Tuesday, May 13th, 1997
She jostled from a deep slumber when she heard her front door slam. She rolled over and saw that it was slightly before midnight, the red lights of her alarm clock reminding her of the emptiness she felt since she kicked Jax out of her property a couple of days ago.
She heard her father bumping into things as he made his way to the master bedroom, muttering obscenities on his way. He slammed the door to his bedroom and Tara shut her eyes, feeling the tears forming in her eyes.
She missed him. God, she missed him. She missed his corny jokes and the way he made her feel safe. All the fucked up things around her seemed to disappear whenever she was with him.
Tara wiped the tears from her eyes swearing to herself for letting Jackson Nathaniel Teller have such an effect on her.
She hated feeling helpless. She wanted to go to TM and apologize for getting so angry but deep down she knew she had to stand her ground. Jax always put the club before her...before them and that was no way to live.
Tara glanced at her alarm clock one more time before turning on the lamp next to it. She sat up and grabbed the phone she kept there just in case Jax decided to call. Every hour that phone remain silent was another hour she felt her soul die just a little.
Wiping her eyes, Tara dialed a number that has become second nature to her.
The phone rang a couple of times.
"It's after 2, fucker. I have better won the fucking lottery for you to be calling this fucking late, asshole."
Tara laughed despite her tears, "Nice way to answer the phone."
"Baby T?"
"Yea," Tara sobbed a bit, feeling her heart break a little more.
"Tara, take a few deep breaths and tell me what happened?"
Tara did as she was told and spent over an hour talking to her only lifeline outside of Charming.
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His body felt sluggish as he walked with the bottle of Jameson. He has spent the last couple of days in a daze of weeds and booze. The days have bled to one another and each day a part of him curse the hold the beautiful brunette had over him. The other part fell in love with her even more for not taking any of his shit, like most women that surround the club do.
He took another swing of the bottle as he continued walking among the streets of Charming.
Tara. His beloved Tara. His only weakness. His Achilles heel.
He couldn't help the feeling of dread that kept creeping in on him when in regards to Tara.
"Tara," he muttered as he drank the last drops of the whiskey. He threw the bottle into the ground and watched as it smashed into a billion pieces. "Tara," he muttered as he continued walking, dragging his feet with him.
He saw the lights reflecting in front of him, his shadow creating a silhouette along the streets. The driver of the vehicle behind him honked the horn loudly earning him a finger from Jax who refused to turned around. The driver honked again and Jax wished he still had the bottle to Jameson so he could throw it at the car.
"I need to get to her. I need Tara," he whispered as he walked crookedly among the street. "TARA!" he yelled as he continued walking.
"Teller!" he heard the driver yell.
Jax turned around, a sneer forming in his face.
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Tara giggled as Katie talked about her new love interest, Joey, and his crazy, theatrical antics. They have been on the phone for over an hour, talking about everything that has happened since Katie departed for New York.
Katie comforted Tara when in regards to Jax. "Fuck him," her cousin had said and tried to convince Tara to move after graduation. Tara still refused but she did come up with a good compromise. While on the phone with Katie, Tara got up from her bed and filled out the applications to the colleges and universities much to Katie's delight. All Tara really needed to do was type up her admissions essays and put them all in an envelop she would send to Katie. Katie would then put in the deposits and mail them out.
"It's one step closer," Katie said over the phone as Tara placed the applications in an envelop and put them in her desk.
"Katie, just cause I filled them out doesn't mean I am going," she had replied as she made her way to her bed. "Anyway, how is life in the big, bad city?" she asked as she laid down and looked up at her ceiling that were still covered in those little plastic stars that glowed in the dark. Once Jax teased her for having them but she confessed to him that her mother put them up there a couple of months before her suicide. Jax apologized and never again made fun of her stars. Those stars were a reminder of the two people she loved the most leaving her behind.
She closed her eyes as she thought about her boyfriend and his lack of concern for her.
"Tara?" Katie said in her ear.
"Sorry, what was that?"
Katie went on and describe in detail how she meet Joey, a fellow New Yorker from Queens, in LA during the conference and how they hit it off immediately.
Tara gave her advice about her new, possible relationship and also advised Katie to tone down her aggressiveness.
They were talking for over an hour when she heard a knock on her window.
"Tara?" a voice whispered.
"Katie, hold on," Tara placed the phone on her bed and walked to her window.
"David?" Tara opened her window. "What are you doing here?" she whispered, being mindful that her father was sleeping down the hall.
"Could you please come out? I need to talk to you," he pleaded, keeping his voice low.
Tara nodded. "Hold on." Tara walked to her bed. "Katie, I have to go." She and her cousin bid their goodbyes and Tara hung up and made her way to the window.
Over the past three years, Tara has mastered the art of getting out of her room thru her window. Landing slowly and quietly on the ground, Tara made her way to where David was standing.
"What's going on?" she asked.
David nodded to his Jeep. "Come with me," he placed his hand on her lower back, were the crow tat rested.
They walked together to his Jeep.
"Oh my God," she said as she rushed to the passenger side. Opening the door, Tara looked at her boyfriend's slumped figure. She felt the tears in her eyes. "Jax," she shook his shoulder. "Baby?"
Jax opened his eyes and looked at her. "Tara?" he stumbled to get out of the Jeep and David slowly pushed her out of the way as he helped Jax get out of the car. Tara noted the blood coming out of his knee where he had a scrape. Jax stumbled towards her, "Tara, babe. Please don't..." he muttered the last words making it impossible for her to catch what he said. Tara hugged his tall frame to her smaller one.
"What happened?" she asked David.
"Found him walking alone in Main Street. Drunk out of his fucking mind. Would had punch me if it weren't for his state. Missed his shot and fell to the floor, scraped his knee. Kept saying your name over and over again," David shrugged. "Thought it would be best to bring him here."
"Thanks," muttered Tara as she struggled with Jax's weight.
"Let me help you get him inside."
David easily picked Jax up and Tara ran to her window. Tara climbed thru her window and rushed to her front door were David waited with Jax.
"Put me down asshole," yelled Jax and Tara placed her hand in his mouth.
"Jax, baby, you have to be very quiet. Please, I am begging you."
Tara removed her hand from his mouth and Jax looked at her with glassy eyes. "I would be quiet just for you," he whispered. "I would do anything for you, Tara."
Tara nodded and motioned for David to follow her to her room. They quietly made it there and Tara watched as David placed Jax on her bed.
David pointed to her door and Tara followed him out. They silently made it to the front of her house were David waved goodbye after she promised to call him first thing in the morning to make sure everything turned out okay. Tara thanked him for bring Jax to her. They embraced and for the millionth time, Tara felt tears rolling down her cheeks as she shut the door.
Making her way to her father's room, Tara slowly opened the door to reveal him passed out drunk, like so many nights since her mother's death. Shutting the door quietly, Tara made her way to her room.
Jax swayed even sitting. Shaking her head, she made her way to him. "Come on, stand up. Let's get you in the shower," she pulled him up by his hands and he staggered into her.
Tara sighed as she struggled with his extra weight. Slowly and as quietly as possible, Tara got Jax into the bathroom across her room. Shutting the door, Tara walked a nearly passed out Jax to the floor next to the toilet. "If you are going to puke, do it now," she whispered as she went to shut the door.
She turned on the cold water in the shower and looked at her boyfriend, who was sitting next to the toilet, his eyes locked to her.
"You were crying," he slurred. "Why were you crying?"
"Doesn't matter. Come on," she reached for his hands. "Stand up. Let's get you in the shower."
Jax grabbed her hands and pull her down to him. Tara fell onto his lap and she tried pushing him away, hating the smell of weed and whiskey on his breathe. "Let me go."
"Not until you tell me why you were crying," he placed a lingering kiss on her neck and she closed her eyes as she felt her lips tremble.
He pushed her hair out of her face and looked at her. "Why were you crying, babe?"
She hated feeling so good after landing in his lap. She closed her eyes and lean against his shoulder. Jax hugged her to his body and kissed her tears away.
"You know I love you, right," he whispered against her temple a couple of minutes later.
She looked up at him. The look of conviction in his face had her believing in them once again. "I love you too. So, so much."
She closed her eyes when she felt his lips on hers.
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It's a good thing that Tara has collected some of his clothes over the years.
Putting on boxers she probably stole from him, Jax sat on the bed as he waited for her return. He felt slightly sober compared to how Hale brought him in. The cold shower really did wonders. Jax ran his finger thru his wet hair.
A few minutes later, she came in with a bowl of reheated spaghettis and a glass of milk.
"Here eat this. It should soak up some of the booze." He took the bowl and placed the milk by his feet. Tara turned and walked out the room, leaving him alone for the second time. He felt his heart break a little more. Sighing, he started eating.
He was almost done, when Tara came back, wrapped in a towel, with his clothes in one hand. She threw his clothes on the floor by her closet. She quickly locked the door and dropped the towel on the floor. God, this woman was heaven sent.
He felt his dick get hard. He placed the plate on the floor and stood. "Tara," he said his voice filled with lust.
"Don't get any ideas, Teller. I am still angry at you." She walked to her dresser and pulled underwear and a nightgown from it.
Jax walked behind her and started caressing her tense shoulders. He felt her relax a bit and he put his arms around her waist. Kissing her neck, Jax placed his chin on her shoulder as their eyes connect in the mirror. He hugged her tighter and he felt her hands in his arms, holding onto him. Although she held onto him, he saw the coldness behind her stare. He sighed, knowing that he had to fess up to his mistakes in order to make things right by his girl.
"Tara," she turned in his arms. "I know that I have been a shitty boyfriend these couple of months. Our relationship is suffering from it. Each day, I feel that I am losing you slowly. Babe, everyday for these past couple of days, I have woken up with this sick feeling in my gut. You are one of the few good things in my life. I can't lose you, Tara." He closed his eyes to push back the tears the were threatening to fall. "Every time I see you with another man, I'm reminded of how much better you could do. Or when I hear you talking about school. I am constantly reminded that you could be in much better place, yet, you stuck here with me, a GED graduate mechanic who is part of a motorcycle club. I know you want more from life, babe, and I am just scared that one day, you'll pack your shit and leave me, here in Charming, alone. That's why I reacted that way with RoboCop. That's why, I do what I need to do to be in the good graces of SAMCRO. Cause, if one day you leave me, the club is the only thing I'll have."
Tara looked at him for a few moments before sighing, "I hate that you see yourself that way, Jackson. You are much more than just a biker, with a GED diploma. You have so much potential, baby. You could do whatever you set your mind to just if you try. I love you Jackson, never doubt that but you are right. I do want more from life than being stuck here being your Old Lady. I want to save lives and make a difference in people." Jax swallowed the lump that formed in his throat as he felt his heart contract.
"I'm scared too, Jackson. So scared that one day, I'll wake up here, with a bitter heart and no future. So bitter that I would want to end my life and do the same thing my mother did. Or what if I stay and something happens to you cause of SAMCRO? What if I am left alone and you are gone cause of the illegal shit you are doing for the club?" Jax tensed up as he looks into her eyes. "Jackson, I am not stupid. I know you are doing things you aren't suppose to. What if I am here and we have kids and you die? What will happen to them? To me? What future will our family have?"
Jax adverted his gaze as his fingertips grazed the tattoo on her lower back. "I don't know how to answer those questions, babe."
"Well, you need to think hard about these questions, Jax, cause no one is untouchable. The club doesn't have an invisible shield that will protect you from prison or getting killed. Too much bad shit could happen to you... to us, if things don't change. What if someone hurts me to get to you? Have you thought of that? How about ten years down the line? What if we have kids and someone hurts them to get to you?"
"That won't happen," Jax pulled her closer to his body. "I would kill anyone who ever causes you any harm. I promise you, babe. I'll keep you and our family safe."
Tara's eyes were filled with uncertainty.
"Babe, you got to believe in me," he implored.
Tara gave him one of those stares that made him believe that she could see beyond his bullshit words. "I do believe in you, Jackson. The question is, do you believe in yourself?"
She unwrapped his arms from her waist and proceeded to get ready for bed while he stared at himself in her mirror.
