November 12

1235

Number of phone calls from parents about visiting for holidays: 1

Number of cigarettes: 4, v. bad considering that I am non-smoker, yet v. good considering that I started with cigars

Number of cigars: 2, v. bad since now am coughing, yet v. good since wanted to relive college days and fire up joint in order to relax

Am waiting for Xu so I can order whiskey sour and not feel like raging alcoholic whilst sitting at table alone. Upon her arrival, shall remind her that, while punctuality is most definitely not her forte, attending to her distraught friend in time of crisis should be priority of utmost importance.

Shall not light another cigarette, no matter how charmingly my rather muscular waiter offers.

Shall not accept offer of free glass of wine, since am trying to maintain professional appearance at popular restaurant frequented by colleagues.

"I used to be in your class, you know..."

"You were?"

Shall make better effort to remember that spotty adolescent boys sometimes grow into muscle-bound gods with amazing smiles and impressively deep voices.

"Um-hm. In your very first class. Front row, second seat from the left..."

"You weren't friends with the one that broke into my dorm and stole my underwear, were you?"

"Eh...no, but he did sit just behind me. The one in the AV club that wheezed all the time..."

"Oh, yes. I remember now. Had a bit of trouble with him after he set up a surveillance system in the faculty restroom. I hear he works for the government now, which is a bit frightening, considering that..."

Considering that I have received fourteen offers in mailbox to have expensive state-of-the-art security system installed at no charge at all. Shall remember to buy extra locks for door and shall warn Xu that she can no longer roam apartment nude.

"Yeah, he was a weird kid."

Shall ignore seductively shy way my waiter/former student/potential love puppet grins at me, then looks at floor.

"So, how long have you worked here?"

"A year or so. I wasn't cut out to be a soldier, and I've always loved serving people at my parents bar, so this seemed like a..."

Shall not imagine what rumbling voice would sound like against ear whilst murmuring things of very little import after night of sexual acrobatics. Shall also not imagine myself in role of sex queen, served grapes by oiled-down slave with charmingly crooked smile and pleasing subservient manner...

"Q! God, sorry I'm late, but I had a hell of a time getting here, so...what the hell is he doing here?"

"Oh? Do you know him?"

"No, but I know his type."

Should stop writing, since now have no need to act the part of profesional educated yuppie in front of former student, however will not stop, since am now furious that Xu is running unwanted interference.

"Umm, it was nice talking to you, Instructor Trepe. Maybe we can catch up properly later."

No! Ignore her! Oh God, don't growl out a word like 'properly' with that deliciously vibrato bass voice of yours and leave me wondering how many of your lower octaves uttered on particular portions of my anatomy it will take to reach blinding orgasm! Ignore my friend! Ignore, ignore, ignore!

"Oh for the love of God, Q, stop giving that boy those puppy eyes."

Am ignoring Xu. Am proud of self for ability to make Xu raving, insanely jealous lunatic.

"Don't ignore me. And give me some of those breadsticks."

Shall refrain from informing Xu that fly landed on appetizer, no doubt depositing all manner of filth and pestilence on crusted garlic breadsticks.

"Besides, it's not like you can't have any guy you want."

"Well, I wanted that one."

Shit. Due to petulant tone and protruding lower lip, no longer have upper hand in conversation. Xu now grinning at me in that way she has that suggests that she is descended from carnivorous feline.

"So, what's the big emergency? You only smoke when you're really stressed."

Am now depressed once again.

"My parents want me to come home for the holidays."

Am now wiping garlic and saliva off of journal pages.

"What?!?! Why the hell do they want you to visit? It's only been, what..."

"Fourteen years, six months and three days."

"Yeah, I lost count. Anyway, they never call you. Why the bloody fucking hell is it so important that you visit them this year?"

"Dad is sick and Mom wants us to make peace, since this might be his last holiday and..."

Xu is grinning at me again. Am now certain that should I take sample of her blood while she is asleep to test for feline ancestry.

"Your folks are rich, right?"

"So?"

"Soooo...maybe you should go play Molly McGooddaughter long enough to score big on that inheritance..."

"Won't work. I'm adopted, remember?"

"Hmm...your mom was disappointed when your dad shipped you off to military school, right? She's always liked you. I mean, didn't she pick you out of the other grubby little bastards when you were adopted?"

"Well, yes, but Dad has hated me ever since I caught him banging the pool boy while Mom was away at her retreat for...oh ho! Xu, you're brilliant!"

Am daily impressed with Xu's twisted, evil mind. Am grateful that remain on list of her friends, since to be her enemy must be painful/expensive indeed.

"Right. So while holding dear daddy's hand, it would be a good idea to remind him that one cannot take one's wealth to hell, and it would be a very good idea to make all necessary adjustments to his will in order to ensure that his last days are spent in peace and not in painful embarrassment of recently brought-to-light allegations of homosexual affair with what-was-surely an underage-at-the-time poolboy."

"Isn't that blackmail?"

"Hmm...only for him. For us, it's just a business enterprise."

"Ah."

"So, what're we having?"

Am now looking over to bar, where waiter is looking back at me and smiling in most...

"To eat, Q. What're we having to eat?"

"Right, right. Umm, I hear the porterhouse is really good."

"Great! I'll take two. You're buying."