January 4
In spite of all evidence to the contrary,
Note to self: replace shattered bathroom mirror at earliest opportunity and pick up another pack of cigs, as you're currently smoking your last one, you nicotine-addicted harlot, you.
I am not jealous of Xu's new playmate, nor am I jealous of the time Xu has been spending in the company of aforementioned slutty tart with gravity-defiant tits. Am not jealous that said silicone-injected goth-tramp has stolen my best friend from me during period of personal crisis to a sun-soaked island for a week of sex, margaritas, sex, fancy pineapple sushi things on skewers that we were going to try on our next break, sex, nude beaches, sex, more margaritas, and wake-boarding.
Am also not sitting in the office of one S. Leonhart, having my hair braided into pigtails by one R. Heartilly and one S. Tilmitt as they try to drag me out of my self-pitying pit of despair.
Am also trying valiantly to deny the fact that I am in denial.
"Well, she could talk to Dr. K, but I'm pretty sure she's hiding out somewhere in Trabia..."
"Shh! They still have this place bugged, Rin! Don't go blabbing her position!"
"But I didn't mean to..."
Shall be necessary to take an aspirin for each side of my head, as braids on either side were jerked from one bubbly brunette to the other as they tried to split my head in twain in order to make their points known with as little noise as possible. Feeling very much like a yoyo at this point, though am pleased with previously unknown ability to write beautifully under physical duress. Shall remember to suggest sex game to Seifer on next date, one involving a permanent marker, my beautiful flowing handwriting, and his bare ass.
"They found her stash in the training center, so now she's hiding from the fuzz. Keep your voice down!"
"But I..."
"Zip it!"
"But!"
"Zip-zip-zip it!"
This last series of barked commands resulted in Selphie tearing a good portion of hair from my scalp. As I am fairly vain about my hair, I feel justified in stabbing her knee with my pen, as we are good friends and she would have done the same thing had it been me glaring at Rinoa with a fistful of her hair.
"Ouch, Quisty! What the hell was that for?"
"For talking about me as if I weren't even in the room."
Shall ignore the fact that Rinoa seemed as if she wanted to correct me by saying, you mean Squall's office, right, Quisty?, since she did in fact refrain from opening her mouth. Could have been due to the fact that Selphie was wiggling free a ballpoint pen from her lower thigh, but whatever the case, am glad that Rinoa kept her mouth shut as am sure that I would have aimed higher in her case.
"What're ya talkin' about? We were just talking about Dr. K, er, I mean, errr, Rusty Shackleford! Yeah! We weren't talkin' about you at all!"
Had forgotten that Selphie and Irvine are very good friends with said doctor, due in part to Kadowaki's extensive biological background which enables her to produce very potent strains of chocobo greens. Had also forgotten fact that parties at SeeD quarters A were legendary amongst both students and staff. Shall one day beat Selphie for not inviting me.
"You weren't?"
"Of course we were Quisty! Selphie and I just got a bit sidetracked when we started talking about..."
"Rusty!"
"Er, right. About Mr. er...Shackleford. We don't like this funk you've been in since Xu started her vacation..."
With a hell-spawned whore, I wanted to add.
"...so we want to cheer you up!"
"By trying to say that I need to seek psychological counsel with a pot-smoking hippie?"
"Shh! That's 'herbal medicine specialist'!" Am fairly sure that Selphie only meant to point in direction of potentially bugged air-conditioning vents, but as she tried to point at all of them at once, the effect was reminiscent of the time Zell discovered that he is allergic to mustard and began seizing on the cafeteria floor. Rather entertaining afternoon.
"Hey! I've got a great idea!"
Began to get nervous at this, for Selphie's great ideas are sometimes painful ideas, and often involve copious amounts antibiotic ointment when the dust has cleared and the explosions have faded away. Rinoa is not the vapid waste of air I sometimes think her to be, for she also appeared to get rather skittish and took two steps backwards when those fatal words passed Selphie's grinning lips.
"We could call Elle for ya!"
Am beginning to become concerned that I spend far too much time in Rinoa's company, as both of us slapped our foreheads simultaneously and groaned very similar protestations.
"I am NOT calling Ellone for help, Selphie. I just need another cig and I'll be perfectly fine."
"Yeah, she's not exactly, er, been herself lately."
Am still trying to recover hearing in left ear, as Selphie's screeched "But-she-has-an-advertisement-on-late-night-tv-and-a-turban-and-EVERYTHING!" has done significant damage to the sensitive membranes of my inner ear.
"No, Selphie. I am not calling Sis just because I've been bored."
"But she can tell you your fuuuuuuture! Just like she does on tv!"
"No."
"She has a turban, Quisty." Said with rather more resolve than I'm accustomed to hearing from Selphie, as if turbans were the oil in the great clock of life that kept it all from flying apart due to the insidious machinations of the sands of time, she spun to Squall's desk phone and began dialing a lengthy number. I very nearly stopped her, as the call would no doubt be expensive, then I happened to recall that we were in Squall's office. Am pleased that Selphie was placed on hold for twenty minutes, though kept my face suitably impassive during the duration of said hold period. Smug doesn't suit the victorious, after all, or at least that's what my Mum always said when she won that divorce settlement from my bastard of an adopted father.
Phone was summarily placed in my hands and Selphie leaned back in Squall's chair, propped her feet on the desk and began eating sunflower seeds from her pocket. Am still amused by Rinoa's attempts to catch airborne seed capsules spat at photograph of the happy couple.
As Selphie had one eye closed and the other directed at yours truly, no doubt aiming a sunflower seed at my head, I decided it was best to play along with her little game. "Hello?"
"Ah, my dear Quistis! How are yooooou?"
Am very confused by Ellone's strange new speaking patterns. Am unsure if this is part of her television fortune-telling act, or if she has lost a boxing match and is speaking from one side of her mouth.
"Well, I'm doing well, so..."
"Ah, but you're not doing as well as you'd like for me to belieeeeeeve..."
Was beginning to wonder if Elle was wearing her turban or not, because if so, perhaps unwinding it a bit would benefit her extended vowels.
"I'm really fine. Selphie and Rinoa are..."
"Even now braiding your haaaaaair..."
Wanted to correct Elle, as they had given that up about ten minutes previous, but decided not to ruin her belated prognostication as she was only off by a few moments.
"Um..."
"And they are trying to cheer you uuuuuuup!"
Selphie was at that time chasing Rinoa around Squall's office, spitting sunflower seeds in her hair and wielding a decorative gunblade stolen from the case above his desk.
"Well..." Said decorative gunblade smashed into the wall and tore various awards and accreditations from their casings, causing Rinoa to squeal in agony at the mess. "...they are doing a smashing job of that at this moment..."
"Ah, Ellone the Wise sees all and knows alllll..."
"Right."
Spent a solid ten minutes listening to Ellone try to convince me that she would give me the discounted family rate if I utilized her fortune telling services on a weekly basis, as our dear brother Squall did.
"You mean Squall has to pay you to listen to him?"
Am impressed with how quickly Elle dropped the oooh's and aaaah's when I began laughing at the thought of Squall weeping over a telephone fortune telling hotline just to talk to his dear older sister.
"Oh for the love of Hyne, you're not going to tell him I told you that, are you?"
"What? Oh no, never!"
Until he threatens to deny me that raise I earned during that last SeeD mission, but of course this shall remain unspoken.
"Good, 'cause I need him to pay for my travel expenses. Got a convention coming up and I need his cash."
Spent another ten minutes catching up with my dear older sister, during which time Rinoa somehow managed to get Selphie in a chokehold that even I had to envy. I must give the girl credit. Tying Selphie down is no easy task, as Xu told me that...
Damn it. And I had almost forgotten her.
Must call Seifer so I do not spend another night bored senseless in my apartment, though will undoubtedly regret it later, as Seifer will begin bragging about his new job and I will want Xu there to hit him with frying pan, as she did during his last visit.
00000000000000000000
Note: The Rusty Shackleford alias is stolen straight from 'King of the Hill'. I can't explain it, but I think Selphie would be a big fan of Dale Gribble and his paranoia/fear of the government.
