(Jace Beleren)
And with this ring, I thee wed.
I bite back the white-hot bile rising in my throat. Liliana and I, we are officially family. I never thought in ten-thousand years that I'd be dating my step-sister, no, scratch that, falling for her. Last night, because we had been running around like a bunch of mad people, we didn't get to do our play session.
However, we did start a World of Warcraft game, watched a couple episodes of Game of Thrones and she fell asleep in my arms. Things are calm. She hasn't mentioned Nissa. She spent a few hours with Kaalia yesterday, and it's been agreed upon that the secret stays a secret until after the wedding.
I look across the aisle at my beautiful girlfriend, at the over-the- top Catholic church, the over- the- top flowers, Mom's tulle-laden dress. Clad in turquoise silk, Liliana makes eye contact with me and winks. I cough, but no one is concerning themselves with us. The dress clings to her ass like everything does, and the color makes her skin pop. Emmara looks bored, Avy looks sleepy. Kaalia looks like she's about to lose her lunch right there in the aisle. I've counted Josu roll his eyes close to six times. Matias keeps scratching his nose.
Kallist is actually here. We didn't know if he would show. He didn't speak to Mom for nearly nine months after she left Dad, he married Kara during that time. He didn't tell any of us. When we talked today, he said they were going to move closer and he knew he hurt Mom, but he wanted things to be better. I can't blame him, I was mad too. I was angry. I felt as though I had been robbed of something.
We'll see what happens.
I know that all eyes are supposed to be on the bride, but I only have eyes for my girl. She wows me. I watch her eyes dance across the cathedral, to her father and then her brothers, finally making eye contact again. I'm astounded that a girl like her would want anything to do with a guy like me.
I jump out of my reverie when the music starts again, taking my cue to loop my arm through Liliana's. We move through the motions, taking pictures, eating. When I ask her to dance, I'm conscious of our every move. My hand is up awkwardly high on her back, it feels like we are miles apart. I glance around, and allow myself to touch her from her shoulders down to her hips before coming to rest in that awkward position again.
"I can't wait until tonight," I say, smiling. I hope she has a good time. The date took a lot a bribing, but it'll be worth it.
"Jace?"
"Yes, doll baby?"
"Does this," she gestures around her to the elaborate decorations, everyone dancing, the cake, and the food, "Change anything about us?" she asks quietly, briefly resting her head on my shoulder. I glance around, making sure eyes are elsewhere, and kiss her on the forehead.
"Absolutely not, leesi. We knew this was going to happen. We knew when we started this that this was going to happen. The only thing we have to figure out is how we're going to tell them."
"I don't want to lose you," she says, her voice barely audible, because of all the couples sashaying around us.
"I'm not going anywhere."
After the wedding, we part ways. Su is headed to stay at Lia's apartment close to Tulane, Ty went with his mom, and the twins are going to their dad's. I take a shaky breath on the way back to the house. First dates are nerve- racking anyways, but the nature of our relationship makes it that much harder. The date took a lot of bribery, a lot of begging Thassa to let me do it, but it'll be worth it. It's definitely the biggest date I've ever been on.
"What's the plan, tatus?"
"It's a surprise, but we're gonna stop by the house so we can change. And that's all, leesi."
"You don't know me like that!"
"Oh, yes, I do."
Her laugh is beautiful. If there ever was a perfect sound, a perfect noise, that would be it. Her singing voice is amazing, but when she laughs, my heart jumps.
"Liliana?"
"Hmm?"
"Sing for me."
Her face blushes bright red as gives me a side eye, wondering why I would make such a request. I mostly listen to her when she's in her room, practicing ballet. She practices her piano and sings, and I long to come down and just watch, but I don't want to draw attention to us.
"What do you want me to sing?" she asks, sheepish. I smile at her sideways, pulling her hand into mine.
"Whatever you want to sing. I listen to you downstairs a lot, your voice is so beautiful. I want to watch, but I don't know if that's the best idea, doll."
She gives me a sort of half smile and clears her throat. Her rosy cheeks are doing me no favors, the slacks already showed too much, and now...
"There is a song that makes me think of you every single time I hear it," she says, slightly breathless. "But it's kind of old."
I smile and nod, hopefully egging her on just a bit. I breathe in and so does she, her breath shaking slightly. She closes her eyes and swallows, working up the nerve.
"You love to sing. What's the problem?"
"It's just, that it's just us, no Sorin to cover my mistakes."
"Your voice is beautiful. Just sing. I'm not going to judge you."
And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't wanna go home right now
She doesn't need Sorin to cover up her mistakes. Her voice sounds like it was made of silk. There's a quality to it that's more entrancing than any I've ever heard, something about it that draws me in.
And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
When sooner or later it's over
I just don't wanna miss you tonight
I won't be missing her tonight. I won't be missing her ever, if I have anything to do with it.
And I don't want the world to see me
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am
The car comes to rest in our driveway, we are only a short drive from the church. I brush my hand from her temple down to her chin, breathing in her scent, placing a soft kiss on her neck. A gasp and slight smile greet me, a more than welcome reaction.
"Your voice is beautiful. More beautiful than anything I've ever heard."
"You're just biased."
"You're just talented."
We enter the ghostly quiet house, something that is odd. I think we've been here completely alone three times in two months. This week is a welcome change. Me, her, nothing else. The girls probably won't stay the whole week at Dad's, but I need a few nights. We are still getting to know each other and know this dynamic, there's nothing that I need more right now, apart from just pure, uninterrupted time with her. Time where we don't have to worry about getting caught.
We take the steps two at a time. When we reach the apex, she turns into her room and starts rifling through her closet, but I stop her.
"I told you I'd take care of it. Just put this on. I'll be waiting for you downstairs."
"My hair..."
"Looks fine."
When she does descend the stairs, it's like she knocked the breath out of my chest. The dress I picked out fits her beautifully. It hits about her knees, but it's a keyhole back, with three buttons at the top. The sleeves are long, but are made of sheer black lace, where the rest of the fabric is a black silk. She decided to wear a pair of red peep-toe pumps, the same ones from when she showed me her feet could touch the back of her head; sShe also is wearing a red statement necklace, I think they are called. She's let her hair fall from the updo it was in to loose curls. Anyways, she looks beautiful, and as much as I want to lift the dress and take her right now, I need to have control.
"Wow," I say, completely at a loss for words. All the right junk in all the right places. "My girl is so gorgeous."
She smiles and blushes again, and I walk her out the door. I place my hand on the small of her back, and I can feel the current charging in between us. I'm aching to lay her down already. But this is so much more important. She needs to know that she is much more than a piece of ass, a booty call. I want to know who she is. I want to know who she is under the cover she puts on. I want to know who Kaalia knows. Who Josu knows. Because even though she's admitted her feelings, she still has on this mask, she's still putting on some sort of a front. I want to know the girl under that.
"You look very handsome yourself."
I had changed ties and put on khakis instead of slacks. The shirt is blue instead of that ridiculous turquoise. She pulls on my tie and I crash into her, our lips meeting for the first time since that night a few days ago. I trail up her spine, causing gooseflesh to appear.
"Are you cold?"
"Quite the opposite, actually."
"Mhmm, I have plans for us tonight."
"So tell me this, Lili."
"What?"
"What attracted you to me? Girls like you don't go for guys like me, like ever."
"At first, it was the fact that I couldn't have you. I've never had that happen before. I've always had guys dropping to their knees for a chance to date me. Well, except for one. And then you. But then, it became more than that. I thought after the first time we fucked it would be out of my system. I could move on and that would be that. But I found myself thinking about you. I don't know if it was your annoying arrogance, or the fact that we were supposed to be family. You consumed every moment of my thoughts. Everyday, it was more and more. I couldn't shake you. It was something about the way that you looked at me. I couldn't help but trust you even though I said I'd never trust anyone ever again. And then Su and I talked. He said to give it a chance. Plus, you're quite attractive, so that helped,." sShe finishes her monologue with a smile.
"So Josu's opinion means a lot to you?"
"His and Lia's are the only opinions I care about. And—And now you. I'd be kidding myself if I said I didn't care about your opinion. Because from the moment I decided to call you tatus, things kind of changed in that second."
"My thoughts in that moment were so jumbled. I couldn't believe you were serious. I couldn't believe that we were actually going to do this. And right then, you became my girlfriend. Even if you weren't there yet. Even if it wasn't black and white. When you asked me to trust you, I knew that I had to."
"So I could ask you the same question. What attracted you to me, Jace?"
"A lot of the same. I couldn't have you and I knew it. I wanted to take you for my own anyways, regardless of what anyone said. At first, I was consumed with lust and almost an envy. I wanted you and I couldn't have you. I was frustrated and had no idea what to do, and we were basically throwing ourselves at each other since the day we met. Though I've never had girls throwing themselves at me. There's really only been Tamiyo and Kiora. And the one time Drana and I..."
"Fair enough," Liliana says, a laugh on her lips. She knows it's true just like I do. She reaches across the table and laces our fingers together as we wait on the check.
"You've come so far since the day you flinched in mass. I am so proud of you, I can't even tell you." I lean across the table and kiss her on the nose. "But I do have another question."
"Shoot," she says, still smiling.
"Why tatus? Out of all the nicknames, you picked daddy. Why? And you even looked it up in Polish. Why did you do all that just for me?"
"I don't know. It just felt right. I knew that I couldn't look you in the face You're not as harsh as a sir, you love to play with me, and you take great pride in helping me do things. You and I both know that I have some sort of 'daddy issues' or whatever. I was looking for a person to try and patch the gaping hole in my heart that my dad has left. That Ashiok left."
"I hope that you let me do that. I will love you better. I will glue you back together. I will love every inch of you. Just let me fall."
"If I fall, could you let me down easy, tatus?"
I answer her with a smile and she lies her head on my shoulder as we start up the car.
"I've had a really nice time tonight, Jace," she says as we make our way to the second part of the date.
"We're not done yet, leesi."
"Oh?"
Just as she says this, we pull up at the aquarium. Her smile starts to fade and I can't understand why. She had such a good time last time.
"Grab the bag, doll. I have a huge surprise for you. Get the smaller bag out of it and go change."
"Ch-Change, Jace? What are we doing?"
"You'll see my love, you will see."
I also picked out a bathing suit for her when I went dress shopping. Well, I took Avy and Emmara and they picked it out. They asked me what I was doing, and I just blushed and told them not to worry about. She walks out in it, and they were both right that it would look amazing on her. The top is a bright pink that ties in the back, a gold clasp holding the straps. The bottoms are ruffled on the butt and have gold loops where it comes together. The color goes absolutely perfectly with her dark skin, her long black hair falling in waves. The once cool room was now rapidly rising in temperature. I feel heat pooling in my cheeks and below my waist. I take a steadying breath. I'm not about to get riled up right now.
"Do you like what you see, tatus?"
"I know you're not a pink type of girl, but it looks amazing with your skin."
"So take a picture."
"Are you okay with that?"
"I trust you."
I pull out my phone and snap a few pictures, one of her playing with her hair and one of her with her hand on her hip, turning toward me. I love that you can see her dimples of Venus, and I'd be lying if I said that that perfect ass of hers didn't send me into a rage.
"Besides," Liliana says, "If you're having fun without me, it should at least be to me."
"Mmm, but why do that when my leesi is more than willing?"
"As far as I'm concerned if it's not in me, it's a waste."
So much for not popping a damn boner. I'm not sure if she's talking about my hard cock or cum, either way, it's hot.
"What?"
"You heard me, tatus."
"What exactly are you talking about?"
"As many times as you can get it up, I'm making it my personal job to get it back down, but I wasn't talking about you getting hard. I want to taste you or be able to physically feel the mess you made, that way I know you were there. It's just a gentle reminder of who I belong to."
"Lili, you know I don't see you as property," I say, but she cuts me off.
"I know that, and that's not what I meant. That's not what it is about, at all. Do you think for one second that if you saw me that way that I would still be here? Because I have had enough of that for one lifetime. But you are different, so different. The fact remains that I am giving myself to you, therefore I am yours," she says simply.
I take her hand and lead her through the back part of the aquarium, all the way to Titan's enclosure.
"Um, are you going swimming?"
"Well, we are, love." She looks as if her worst fear has been confirmed.
I jump into the water and wait for her to follow, but she doesn't. She sits on the slippery rock that we had to climb to get up here and dips her feet in the water, but doesn't make any moves to join me.
"Come on, doll."
"Um, I think I'll just sit up here, and watch you and Titan if you don't mind."
"Oh, this is supposed to be the second part of our date, leesi. Come to papa," I say, smiling.
"Um, I really don't want to get my hair wet." She says this with trepidation, as if she's hiding something.
"Lili?"
"I'm fine, I'll just watch you and the precious baby."
"Get in the water." My voice isn't harsh, but it is stern. She know that I'm asserting authority, acting on our dynamic. I'm her dominant in this moment, not her boyfriend.
"JJ.."
"What, doll? What's wrong?"
"It's just—I just—"
"Leesi?"
"Yes, papi?"
"Can you swim?"
Blood rushes to her cheeks, and she hangs her head. That's why she doesn't want to get in the water. She's scared. I don't know what happened, but I intend to fix it.
"Liliana Raelynn Vess. I promise right now that I will catch you. I will always catch you. These arms of mine, they are always open for you. All you have to do is jump. I will catch you. I will never let anything hurt you if it's in my power to stop it. Jump. I know you can. Trust your tatus. Let's do this for real, Liliana. I will never let you fall. Ever. So jump. I will always catch you. Now come to me."
She bites down on her lip and and jumps, any semblance of hesitation gone. Her resolve was strengthened by my spiel. She jumped.
To me. For me. And I couldn't ask for more.
Our lips meet for a long moment, and we both pull back breathless.
"Let go of papi, I'll grab your hands and you just kick." I do so and she freezes for the slightest second, but when I grab her hands, she's okay again. She still looks scared, but she's starting to smile.
Titan swims over and nudges us, causing Liliana to laugh.
And that's the closest to heaven that I'll ever be.
When we get out, she's shaking. I don't know if it is from fear or from being cold, but after I make the five minute drive back to the house, we are going to have a cuddle session, because I pushed her limits and she needs aftercare. Plus, I need to feel connected to her. I cannot wait to take her, but we will get there soon. When we get to my room, I strip down to just my boxers. I've been looking forward to this session since last week. I know I'm going to start out slow, teasing her, and then work my way up.
"You are the best boyfriend, Jace. Oh, and by the way, how did you like seeing my talents the other day?"
"Doll, the most beautiful girl in the world gave me a lap dance. It doesn't get much better than that." She smiles, almost bashfully.
"Are you ready to play?"
"Yes, tatus!" She sounds so eager.
"Go change and brush your hair and stuff if you want. I'll be waiting on your bed. We're going to take a quick break and then papi is going to push you a little. Is that okay? Are you going to be a good girl?"
"That is a-okay with me."
She walks over to her bathroom and I make to follow, but she holds up a hand. I go and busy myself with a comic until she's ready to go. She's standing in my doorway with a robe on. She doesn't look like the shy girl from the aquarium, she's happy and confident.
"Before our playing starts, there's something I need to do."
"And what's that papi?"
"Come here." I open up my arms and allow her to curl inside. She's human. She's allowed to break. She's allowed to have emotions. And I don't know who stunted her there, but someone has, and I want to see her grow. I want to see her fly.
"Why did no one ever teach you to swim, leesi? Your father seems like the kind of guy that would make sure they could do everything like that, just because of his military background."
She drops her head and nods. "That's what he told me, too. Is that no daughter of his would be scared of water. I was five years old when he put me into the deep end of the pool without floaties. I almost drowned Josu. I was terrified. I haven't got in any water over three feet since. Until tonight. When you told me you would catch me."
"Oh, my doll baby. I'm so sorry that this happened to you, that he's such an insufferable asshole."
"I can deal with him being mean. He's always been mean. It's the blatant favoritism. And I just know that he's going to kick Josu out when he finds out about Lia, and that scares me. I've never been in a house without him, and the thought scares me. We've both been told about co-dependency, but it is what it is."
"I don't think he'll kick Su out. He says so much out of anger, he doesn't care if he hurts you or Josu, and that's why I don't have any respect for him. I honestly believe they are only together so that the eternities saw fit for us to meet." I say before I start again.
"We have to keep us a secret for now, doll."
"I know."
"How are you feeling?"
"Funny you should ask that, actually, tatus."
She stands and lets the robe drop to the floor in a heap. Her bra is a black lace number with light pink trim. Her panties match, except for the fact that they have three tiny pink bows on the back. My cock springs to life in front of me as she twirls, showing off her perfect body.
"Make love with me, papi. I need you."
"Do you want me to make love with you, or take you like we do?"
"I want you to pick, tatus. It's not my decision."
"Good girl, but I was asking you because I wanted to know." I tip her head up, lust evident in her eyes, but it's accompanied with something else as well. Care. Heart.
"I think you show me you care when you do what I asked you to," she says, the tiniest of smiles lighting up her eyes. She sits on my lap as I bounce one of my knees, the smile grows.
"Sometimes it's the littlest things you do, Jace."
"Like what?"
"Like teaching me how to swim, like helping me with calculus. Like bouncing your knee because you know it's soothing to me," she says, blushing. "And that's what makes me want to give myself to you. Because whether you know it or not, you give me part of you, too. I know it takes a lot to do this."
"You're worth it. Lay down, put your arms above your head, wrists crossed."
"What are you doing?" She inquires of me, but I just give her a sly smile and bind her wrists together. Then to the bedpost. She bites her lip to hold back a moan, and then her breath is staccato. The air is almost electric with tension, and I'm kind of clueless as to where to go next. I want her body to be infuriated with the lightest touches that I can give.
"Spread," I say, and she does so, without question. She thinks I'm going to give into her all at once, but that's not the way it's going to happen. I get on my knees in between her legs as she tries to pull my weight on top of her.
"No ma'am," I say with a slight smile. I take my fingertips and drag them from her temple down to her chin, over her neck and onto her collarbone. I unclasp the bra and she shakes it off. She's already squirming when I make it to her breasts, my thumbs make it to her nipples, already causing her to arch up to my touch. Good. I kiss her tummy and then her hips, which are already begging for my mouth. I give her center the lightest of touches, and one would think I had given her a body-rocking orgasm because of the sounds she's making.
"Mhm, I love it when you get needy for me."
Her only answer is a whimper. She keeps trying to reach for me before realizing she's bound and it is frustrating her, which is exactly what I wanted. My fingers trace her heated core, her wetness pouring onto me. She's writhing, bucking her hips, anything to get me where she wants.
"Jace… please!"
"Oh doll, we both know that's not going to get you anywhere but over my knee. Do you want to try that again?"
"Please, tatus."
"Oh love, I don't think you want it very much."
"Papi, please..."
I reach up and undo the binds to the bed, but not her wrists. Her eyes flash open when I do this, and I'm still sitting on my knees in between her legs. I'm absolutely throbbing, of course, there is nothing I want more in this moment than to spread Liliana's tight little hole and fuck her sore, but I have to have control over the situation.
She hasn't begged nearly enough.
I decide to give her some relief, but I feel it's only made her more aroused. Two of my fingers slide into her much easier than normal, because of how turned on she is. Her body begins to clench on mine, so I pull them out nearly as quickly.
"Agh! Why?" Her voice is strained, infuriated.
I just smile. As much as I want her mouth, I want her more.
"Because I'm tired of waiting."
I hook her right leg over my shoulder and sink into her, slowly. Her back arches and I groan, she's so perfect.
"Please?"
"Please what?"
"Please, tatus?" she whimpers.
"What do you want, doll?"
"Fuck me!" She very nearly yells, but then tacks on a "Please, papi," at the end, as to avoid any undesirable consequences.
I chuckle and do exactly that. Hard. Fast. Unrelenting. Just like we like. She's grasping at the sheets, and for once, she doesn't have to hide her moans. Which is hurrying me along, so when her eyes ask for her, it's a mere nod and grunt. How do I even words? I feel her body give in to mine, the tightening and then subsequent loss, as I lose myself in her.
"Mother Mary," she says, just as I collapse onto her.
"It's always so quick with you, my god. So, I don't know. You're perfect. Being in you, my god."
"It always is. I don't know. You make me feel full. In more ways than one."
"Maybe one day you'll let me make love to you."
"You just did, didn't you?"
"You know what I mean. Also, I'm keeping these."
I hold up the pair of black lace underwear and she does nothing but laugh and curl her back into my chest. I wish I knew how to get her to open up to me, but for now, this has to be enough. I know she's trying, and for right now, I will make that be enough. She flips over and interrupts my thoughts, so I kiss her on the top of the head and ask her what's up.
"Nothing," she responds, "It doesn't matter as long as I'm with you."
