Hi guys! I just finished writing Chap 24 and God do I love it! I am outlining Chap 25. I always like to have a couple of chapters written before submitting one. This chapter was finished all the way in February but it took me nearly two months to finish Chap 24 with all the rewrites and all the details I was trying to iron out. Although it took me a while, I am so proud of the finish product.
Now this Chapter is a jump. There will be a few jumps in the next chapters. Please review and respond. :) XOXO
Chapter 23
Friday, August 8th, 1997, 12:43am
Jax grimaced as he knocked down another shot of Jose Cuervo. He slammed the shot glass down and motioned for the sweet butt to serve him another.
"Maybe you should take it slow, son."
Jax didn't turn when the man sat next to him. He quickly drank the other shot, shuddering as the liquid burnt his insides.
"What for?" yelled Jax over the music. "Why the fuck, should I slow down?"
Jury motioned the sweet butt to pour him a shot as well. Within seconds, Jury had swallowed the tequila and slapped Jax on the back and motioned for him to follow outside.
Jax stumbled out of the stool and followed Jury.
Walking into the cool Nevada desert, Jax struggled to keep up with Jury, his steps swaggering more than usual.
"Come on, boy. Our chariot is waiting," yelled Jury over his shoulder. Jax looked up and saw a Cutlass parked on the side of the clubhouse. He felt a pang in his heart as memories of the good times, he and Tara spent on her father's Cutlass, rushed in. Instead of the classic black beauty Tara used to drive around, this one was a dull blue, rusty and need of a service job. Jury turned on the car and waited patiently for Jax to join him inside. Looking into the old man's eyes, Jax saw the love and sympathy in them. Giving Jax a nod, Jury coaxed the young biker into the car.
After a few moments of hesitation, Jax climbed into the old American classic.
"Where are we going?" whispered Jax in the darkness.
"I have something to show you." Jury put the car in reverse. "After I am done, it's up to you where we go."
"What do you mean by that?" slurred Jax.
"You'll see, son. You'll see."
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Friday, August 8th, 1997, time: unknown
The drive wasn't long but the desert darkness that engulfed them reminded Jax of the nights he spent lost in the desert before he was locked up. He recalled his desperation for salvation. His feelings of relief when he made it out of the desert alive although, he couldn't foresee that just a few weeks later he was going to lose his best friend. Imagines of Opie getting slaughtered while inside, had Jax's insides turning, the anger towards Stahl and the fuckers that killed Opie, increasing with each mile Jury drove away from the Devil's Tribe clubhouse.
By the time Jury reached some deserted clearing, Jax's face was crimson, the fury that constantly consumed him since Opie's passing manifesting itself in his features. He wished he had taken the bottle of tequila. Cuervo served as his only constant friend for the past few weeks.
Jury kept the motor running and reached towards the glove compartment. Pulling out two flashlights, Jury asked Jax to follow him and gently got off the car. Opening the door and slamming it shut with brute force, Jax went around the front of the car and snatched the flashlight Jury was offering.
"Come follow me." Jury started walking and Jax struggled to follow, given his drunken stupor.
After a few minutes of silently walking, Jax noticed the garbage accumulation around him and followed Jury down a very small hill.
"Where the fuck we going?" yelled Jax, louder than what he intended, his speech slurring.
Jury stopped and pointed to a small opening a few yards away from where they were standing from. "Just over there, son. Bear with me, would ya?"
Jury continued walking and entered the small opening. Within a minute, Jury flashed his light to a wall in front of them.
"What the fuck is this?"
"Read what it says, Jackson."
Jax looked at the red writing on the wall.
"Anarchism... stands for liberation of the human mind from the dominion of religion; the liberation of the human body from the dominion of property; liberation from shackles and restraints of government. It stands for social order based on the free grouping of individuals."
"Emma Goldman was a wise woman."
Jax turned around and saw Jury sitting in a massive rock outside the opening. Walking out, Jax watched as Jury lit a Cuban cigar. Puffing on the cigar, Jury looked at Jax for a long moment.
"When JT brought me out here, way before you were born, I didn't understand the meaning of those words. Didn't understand why your father felt so enamored with this quote. He told me he found it while wandering around the desert. After reading this quote, JT went and found anything and everything that had to do with anarchism and free government and all that bullshit. Vietnam fucked all of us up in that sense. We were so disillusioned with the government and life in general, we were all gasping for something new and fresh that made us feel alive inside after being surrounded by so much fucking death." Jury paused and took another puff from the cigar.
Jax sat across Jury on a rock as he waiting for Jury to continue.
"After reading, I don't know how many authors and newspaper clippings and books, JT decided that he rather live in the fringe than have the U.S. government dictate his life. Fuck, he believed it so much, that I thought he was going to start his own guerrilla warfare, Che Guevara style. But, JT had Piney and together they came up with the SONS. I was there when they bought their Harley's and rode out to search for fulfillment. They tried so hard to get me to ride with them but I refused and I was left here while they drove their Harley's around the continental U.S. Slowly but surely, they had enough members to start a small club. Fuck man, I was living in a shitty ass apartment, drinking too much booze and smoking too much weed, when JT rolled in with Redwood for the first time. At the time, it still wasn't Redwood but I knew that what JT started was going to be big. He tried to convince me to join the First 9 the second time he rode out here but I was too scared at the time. I didn't want to let go of everything that was holding me down at the time. Still didn't understand what Goldman meant by anarchism."
Jury paused. "The third time JT rode out here, he wasn't alone. He had this gleam in his eye and a beautiful, young brunette on his arm. He told me he was going to be a Dad and that he wanted his son to have a place to call home. As you probably figured out, that young woman was Gemma. She was showing when they rolled in here with SAMCRO. The night before they left, Gemma somehow convinced JT to marry her. Did you know they got married out here in the desert? We went and celebrated in the local bar for a bit. The club got so shit faced and I remember that Uncle Tom puked all over Gemma's white dress. Fucking pissed her off so much; she took a bottle and broke it over his head." Jury chucked. "That night, when everyone passed out in the motel rooms, JT woke me up and we drove down here. We fucking talked until the sun rose and he explained it all to me and what he wanted for his club and son. It was the first time, that that quote in that wall made sense to me."
Jax looked to the darken opening, the drunkenness he felt before slowing leaving his body and clearing out the fog he carried for months.
"I remember every word exchange between myself and JT. I remember every aspiration he had for you, as his son and heir. What you are becoming is not what JT would have envisioned."
Jax recoiled as if Jury had punched him hard on the face. He remained silent for Jury's sake.
"A couple years passed and I loved the notion of the club but didn't want to leave my home, so I started the Tribe, with JT's and Piney's blessing. I wanted the Tribe to be like the SONS and I looked at JT for inspiration. Man, each time he rolled out here, he taught me more and more on the MC world and the dangers of it. As much as I aspired to be like your father, I knew that no one could measure up to that man. The last time he was carefree JT was right before your brother was born. He came by just weeks before Gem gave birth to Thomas. Shit, we drank so much, I think he was still drunk when he left. So fucking happy to have another one on the way. But then, Thomas was born and he wasn't the same. Always worried about his little boy. Eventually that damaged ticker of your brother's forced your father into that relationship with the Irish. He had to make money to provide for his family and Thomas's very expensive hospital bills. He didn't come down here after Thomas was born. JT was either in Charming or Ireland. He simply didn't have time to visit an old friend. Still, I went up to Charming a couple of times and as deep as he was with the Irish, I saw the regret in his eyes. Samcro had become something he had not envisioned. He was also scared about being involved with the Real IRA. Scared of Thomas's health. Scared that you wouldn't be proud to call him your father."
Jax nodded encouraging Uncle Jury to continue. Taking a few puffs before continuing, Uncle Jury gave Jax a sad smile.
"I remember when I got the call that Tommy had died. The Tribe rode up to Charming and it was like your father was a fucking zombie. Like part of him died with his youngest kid. After the funeral and all the crap, I told JT to come out here for a few weeks, with you and Gem, so ya could get away from all the sadness but he refused. He told me that a real man doesn't run away from his problems. Funny he said those words to me, given that the last year of his life, he spent more time in Ireland than in actual Charming. He wrote to me, those times he was in Ireland. Fucking beautiful letters about the death of hopes and dreams. He didn't go too much into detail but I think he was referring to what he envisioned his life to be when he first started Samcro and how everything he wanted in the end didn't come into fruition."
"What are you saying, Uncle Jury?" Jax blinked a couple of times before swallowing the knot that had formed in his throat.
"What I am saying is that prior to JT dying he was a very unhappy man. He felt like he failed in life. He lost his youngest son. His marriage was pretty much over, although Gemma will probably say otherwise. And Redwood had become a club that was the opposite of what he wanted when he first started it. He didn't want to sell guns for a terrorist organization or have beef with rival MCs. He wanted to ride his Harley throughout the continental U.S while singing Bob Dylan and Neil Young. Real hippie shit. But given the circumstances, he evolved himself into the man his family and his brothers needed him to be. Doing so, he lost the essence of who he was and that drove him to complete and absolute misery. But there was one thing that saved him from complete insanity..."
Jury pointed his cigar at Jax. "You were your father's saving grace, son. I truly believe you were the only thing holding JT together in the weeks prior to his death."
Jax remained silent as Jury put out the remainder of his cigar. "I know you have been dealt a shit hand these past couple of months, Jackson, but drinking yourself to death isn't the solution to your problems. Drinking three to four bottles of hardcore liquor isn't going to bring anyone back.
Not JT, not Opie, not your Old Lady. Now, you have a choice to make, son. Either you stay here, and drink and drown yourself in mindless pussy and go nowhere or you get up and move forward and make your Old Man proud to call you his son. The choice is yours. I'll be waiting in the Cutlass."
Jax remained sitting as he watched Jury make his way thru the desert, leaving him in absolute darkness.
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Friday, August 8th, 1997, dawn
There was something beautiful about watching the sunrise in the desert—the beautiful hues in the horizon.
Jax made his way to the Cutlass, smoking his last cigarette, the drunken stupor long gone. When he opened the door to the old car, he startled Jury awake. Sitting in the car, both men silently watched the sunrise, both enjoying the simplicity of the moment.
"We need to go back to the clubhouse, take a shower." Jax flicked his cigarette out the window.
"Then?" questioned Jury.
"Back to Charming."
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Friday, August 8th, 1997, 7:01pm
He told Jury to drop him off two blocks away. Jax also asked Jury to return right away to Nevada. He walked quickly so to not draw any attention to himself, his kutte in one of his hands.
He didn't want the club and his mother to know about his arrival until he took care of some things.
When he reached his destination, he hurried up the driveway and knocked softly so to not alert the neighbors. When he heard the padded feet making their way to open the door, he braced himself to what he might encounter.
She looked gaunt and smaller than usual.
"Hey," he whispered.
SLAP!
He felt the sting.
SLAP!
Before he could react, he felt Donna's tiny fist hitting his chest, her cries carrying into the night. Jax forced her inside, her cries summoning her mother and a crying baby, wrapped in a hospital issued blanket.
Words like son of a bitch and how could you let it happen, came out of her mouth as her cries of woe came out clearer and clearer.
Jax waited for Donna to tire out before engulfing her in his arms, tears streaming down his face, her sobs being muffed by his broad chest. He sensed that her mother had exited the room, quieting down the upset baby.
He held her for unexplainable amounts of time, stroking her hair as her sobs quieted down. Not once did she return his embrace, something that hurt him even though he understood were she was coming from. The pain of losing Opie was unbearable to him and he couldn't imagine what she was feeling.
After her tears subsided, Donna pushed herself away from him and walked to the other side of the living room. Crossing her arms in front of her, she took a few deep breaths and stared at Jax.
"What are you doing here?" she asked, her voice void of any emotions.
"Just came from Nevada…" Jax shrugged. "Just wanted to check up on you," he finished lamely.
Donna scoffed.
"Donna," Jax pleaded.
She turned away from him, preferring to look at a window than at him.
Jax looked down to his dirty sneakers and shoved his hands into his pocket.
"I never thought I would be standing here, alone, with a baby, a toddler, and no husband. I never thought that my children would grow up fatherless."
Jax looked up.
"Opie loved us. He loved us so much. I felt it each time we would lie down at night and he would talk to my belly or play with Ellie."
Donna shook her head.
"But we weren't enough, were we?" Donna turned around.
"You know, as much as I thought Tara was a know-it-all and goodie two shoes, she had Samcro pegged. The club is just a bunch of middle-aged men and young fools drowning in the cesspool that is Charming."
Donna turned around and started walking towards the back of the house.
"Please get the fuck out of my house and tell Samcro to stay clear of me and my family. Your club has done enough damage to my family."
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Friday, August 8th, 1997, 8:34pm
Even though it was close to nine on a Friday, he knew that the Hairy Dog would be thriving.
He looked around and found Derek sitting towards the back of the bar.
Strolling towards him, Jax saw that the stool next to him was empty. Sitting next to Derek, he motioned for Danny to serve him.
"I was wondering when you'll make an appearance," slurred Derek.
Jax drank the shot that was placed in front of him.
"Where is she?" he asked, motioning for Danny to serve him another.
"Far, far away," Derek responded with a laugh. "Far from you."
Jax slammed the shot glass with so much force it bounce off the bar top.
He grabbed the drunk in front of him by his collar and pulled him so close that their nose were almost touching.
"Where the fuck is she?" he muttered thru his teeth.
Derek looked into his eyes, a focus he has never seen before crossing his face.
"I was a shitty father. I didn't focus on my baby girl after her momma die cause I was to focus on my own pain. I let my baby girl go instead of protecting her. That's why I lost her to you. But now she is free and I am going to do what I didn't do for years. I'm going to protect my baby girl.
So, Jackson, get your hands off me cause I'll never tell you where she is even if it means you put a gun to my head."
Jax released Derek with force. Before he could even think of what he was doing, he slugged the motherfucker to the floor and let his anger consume him.
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Friday, August 8th, 1997, 9:01 pm
Jax sat in the curb, smoking a cigarette, the red and blue lights, brightening the dark sky. He watched as the EMT's loaded Derek into the back of the ambulance. He watched as they roar away, the anger still humming in his bones.
He flicked his cigarette away when he heard the Harleys.
"Don't you even think of standing, Jax," shouted Unser from where he was standing with Danny.
Jax didn't even bother acknowledging the old man as he passively watched as Clay and the rest of the club parked their bikes near where the ambulance had been. He stood, wiping the back of his jeans with his hands, ignoring Unser's angry protests. Clay waved Unser away as he walked towards Jax, a hint of a smile on his face.
"Welcome back, son!" boomed Clay as he hugged Jax, patting him on the back. Jax didn't return the affections, something that Clay noticed given the look on his face when he pulled away from Jax.
Bobby and the rest of the crew followed suit, greeting the brother they feared they lost. Jax noted that Piney was absent from the small group of bikers.
"Starting off with trouble on your first night?" teased Bobby.
"Yea, with the biggest drunk in town," said Tig. "Not much of a match, if you ask me."
Jax glared at Tig. "Still running your trap even though no one cares what you got to say," responded Jax.
Tig smirked. "And I'll keep running it until you figure out what your first priority should be."
Jax walked a few steps to stand in front of the clubs' Sergeant-in-Arms. "And what should be my first priority? Being up in Clay's ass like you?"
Chibs got in between the two men and patted Jax on the stomach a couple of times. "Just walk away, Jackie boy," he whispered. "Just walk away."
Jax glared at Tig, refusing to break eye contact until the older man smirked and took a couple of steps back.
"We got to take Jax to the station," interrupted Unser, making it clear that Samcro still had to answer for Jax's earlier violent outburst. "We got to at least finger print him and have him in the system for assault. Gemma could bail him out in the morning."
Jax looked at the older man. "I ain't going back behind a cell," Jax stated.
Clay threw down his cigar. "I'll tell you what, Chief. Redwood will accompany your trucks for the next three months, free of charge to their drop off stops and back and what happened tonight, never happened. Bobby, make sure to give Danny a nice tip for all of his troubles tonight. When Samcro's annual fundraiser comes around, Danny will be given the honor of serving drinks to the community and the charters that are coming down. He will make a nice buck out of that."
"That still leaves Knowles," answered Bobby.
"Nah, Knowles won't say shit." Clay patted Tig in the back. "Tiggie will make sure that Knowles knows that what happened tonight was just an accident. He drank too much. Busted his nose trying to get up from the stool. Am I right, Tig?"
Tig nodded and walked towards his bike, "I'll be the first face he sees when he wakes up. Lucky bastard," said Tig before roaring out towards St. Thomas.
"And the other witness?" Unser waved his arm around to point out the 5 or more men staying outside the bar, watching and whispering as the men talked to the local police chief. "You think throwing money at the problem will make it go away? Jax just assaulted Knowles in front of half a dozen witnesses, for no apparent reason! I can't just pretend it didn't happen." Unser turned to Jax. "Jax turn around, I have to cuff you, son."
"Level out with us, Unser. We are giving you a sweet deal." Clay responded. "These people could easily be taken care of."
"What you going to do? Threat them?" sassed Unser. "That will only get you so far, Clay. Samcro isn't omnipresent everywhere in Charming. People still talk."
"These men won't. Not after the sweet package they are going to get on behalf of Samcro. Chibs, go to the clubhouse and tell the ladies we are having guests over. VIP guests that need a nice, wild ride tonight."
Chibs nodded and started walking towards his Harley.
Bobby shook his head and walked towards Danny and the group of men that stood near the entrance of the bar in order to discuss Clay's generous offer.
Clay, Unser and Jax stood around one another, in a circle, alone in the warm summer night.
Unser stepped closer to Jax. "You know, son, one day you will inherit this club and this town. I know you have been dealt a shit hand in the past couple of months but you got to think beyond your anger right now. Look at the bigger picture. You are so consumed by what's in front of you that you are failing to see what's past you—this town and its citizens. Knowles is part of this town and tonight you did a very stupid thing, attacking him. People talk here, Jax. They know your history with the man. They know you two have been circling each other for years, trying to take the other one out. Move past that and be the better man. Be the man, Tara would have wanted you to be. And I could bet my top rockers that hitting her old man was not what she would had wanted to occur. The responsibility of this town will be on your shoulders one day. Do right by its citizens and they will have your back once the outside starts trying to move in."
"I got to give it to you, Chief. Almost had me in tears," laughed Clay. "Jax is a Son. And Sons don't ever back down to no one, especially a town drunk. Jax did what he had to do so let's wrap this party up. Samcro has business to discuss so walk your old ass to your cruiser and I'll be by tomorrow to discuss our new business arrangements, Chief."
"You got no respect for the old order, Clay," responded Unser.
"That's not it, Unser. I just like it when people fall in line," stated Clay boldly. Clay nodded towards Unser police cruiser. "It's best if you get going now."
As Unser walked towards his car, Bobby walked towards them. All three men watched as the old police chief turned off the blue and red lights and drove away.
"I told the men to make their way to the clubhouse for an unlimited night of pussy and booze, free of charge. That appeased them. Danny will back us up and say Knowles was drunk as usual and busted his nose on his way down to the floor."
"Ba da bing, ba da boom, tonight's work is done. Come, let's go to the clubhouse. There are bunch of crow eaters who are dying to welcome the Prince home. You could ride bitch with Bobby." Clay and Bobby walking towards their bikes.
It took both men a minute to realize Jax had not followed them.
"Jax, let's go," Clay commanded impatiently.
"I am not going anywhere with you."
Jax turned and started walking away from the two men, Clay's shouts blending into the dark night.
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Friday, August 8th, 1997, 9:45pm
Jax was glad that Clay and Bobby didn't follow him. He needed to collect his thoughts.
From his wonderings around town, he noted that nothing had change in Charming. All the streets looked the same; all the houses did as well. Not that he was gone long. But he felt different—he was different from a couple of months ago. He no longer had Opie or Tara to help him steer clear of the madness inside his head.
Headlights brighten the dark sky from behind him and he internally groaned. He sincerely hoped it was not Gemma. He simply did not want to deal with her today.
He was surprised to see Hale pulling up beside him.
Hale rolled down the window.
"Come on, hop in."
For reasons unbeknownst to him, Jax slightly paused before opening the door to the Jeep and roaring out to the outskirts of Charming with Hale.
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Friday, August 8th, 1997, 10:17pm
"Who would have thought that Captain America is not as pure as the world makes him out to be," said Jax as he watched Hale take a hit.
Hale held the smoke for a couple of seconds then breathes it out.
"Well, if you would have gotten to know me, instead of always passing judgments, you would have been surprised to find out that I am not as uptight as you had me out to be," replied Hale as he passed the joint to Jax.
Jax took a hit and waited to feel the burn in his lungs before releasing the toxins. "Like you never passed judgments on me?"
"You pissed me off cause you walked around here like Charming was your own personal kingdom and we had to bow down to you."
"Was that the only reason why?" asked Jax, taking another hit, looking at Hale right in the eye.
He passed the joint to the man standing in front of him.
Hale looked down to the ground. "I also loved her." Hale looked up and into his eyes. "Always thought she deserved better than what was here. Thought she deserved better than what you had to offer her."
Jax scoffed and turned away from Hale. "Guess you got your wish in the end. She left."
"She waited."
"Not long enough," said Jax, feeling his anger bubbling to the surface.
"What are you talking about, man?"
Jax turned and saw that Hale was putting out the joint with his shoe.
Jax crossed his arms in front of him, scolding at Hale.
"She waited for you, for years. She hoped that you would wake up and realize how bad Samcro is. Tara could have left Charming the minute she graduated high school, but she stayed. She stayed because she believed in you two. She believed that you would honor your relationship with her. She wanted more for you. She wanted more for herself. Her biggest fear was that one day she would wake up here, in Charming with nothing to look forward to; she was afraid to end up like her mother. She waited for you, Jax and you didn't show up."
"I was lost in the middle of the desert!"
Hale shook his head. "Doesn't matter anymore, Jax, it really doesn't matter anymore. She left. She is starting fresh, away from all of this crap. I know you love her but don't condemn her to a life of misery just so you could be happy."
Jax looked at Hale for a moment and nodded his head.
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Friday, August 8th, 1997, 10: 49pm
Hale stopped the car in front of the house.
"Are you sure you want me to drop you off here?"
Jax nodded and opened the door to the Jeep. He landed quietly on the pavement and nodded his thanks to Hale.
He walked quickly to the side of the house so not to alert the neighbors of his presence.
Walking towards the window he was seeking, Jax was surprised to find it open, even after all these months. He easily climbed in.
He looked around and noted that her room looked the same. The bed comforter was the same, her books were all neatly stacked on her desk and even her immense CD collection still adorned the wall on the left.
He took off his shoes and walked towards her bed. He lay down and took her pillow and sniffed it. It still smelled like her. He closed his eyes and for the first time, he allowed himself to cry for the love he lost.
