Authors Note:

Hello again!

So a few hours ago, I finished chapter 29 and it was absolutely heartbreaking.

Now for this chapter will feel like a filler to some and it is to some extent.

But remember, everything that is written, is written for a reason. ;)

Please R&R

XOXO

Chapter 26

Thursday, August 21st, 1997 8:43am

Jax parked his bike on his designated spot. He sat for a minute on his bike, ignoring the curious glances from various crow eaters and mechanics.

Sighing Jax stood and started walking towards the clubhouse.

"You shouldn't ride without a helmet."

Gemma sat in one of the picnic tables smoking a cigarette, one leg crossed over the other.

Jax stopped and looked at his mother.

"Oh, now you are concerned about my wellbeing?" Jax replied sarcastically.

Gemma scoffed and threw her cigarette into the ground. "You are just salty because your precious Tara left."

Jax's anger flared.

"Something you are probably elated about. Now, you could be worshipped accordingly, right?" Jax barked.

Gemma stood and rapidly walked towards him until their noses were basically touching.

Gemma grabbed his face and her nails dug into his face. "Don't forget I am your mother," she hissed thru her teeth. "I am the only one who has had your back since day one. When shit turns left, I will be the only one there to walk you thru it. Not some gash with more Daddy Issues than most of the crow eaters you are sticking it to. I thought you loved your precious Tara. I wonder how she would feel knowing you are fucking every pussy that walks thru the clubhouse doors."

Jax looked at Gemma with so much loathing, she had enough sense to let go of his face and took a step back.

"You did this," he whispered thru his teeth.

"Don't blame me for her leaving. It's not my fault she didn't have enough balls to stick it out like all Old Ladies," Gemma replied defiantly.

"No, she had enough balls to not be you— an old, bitter woman who depends on a biker husband to buy her everything from food to tampons."

Jax caught her hand when it rose to slap him. He pulled her closer.

"You wanted me here, Mommy? Guess what, you got your wish. I am not going anywhere, anytime soon. But with your wish comes consequences and you are going to regret the day I joined this club. You are going to regret predisposing me to follow the steps that you wanted. You are going to hate it as much as I hate you."

Gemma gasped and he roughly let go of her hand making her stubble a few steps back.

Jax gave her one last look before walking into the clubhouse.

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Thursday, August 21st, 1997 9:32am

"Intel has it that the Mayans have a big shipment of heroin coming in at midnight. The Niners want to hit them hard, then take the dope and sell it for double the price. More money for the Niners, equals more money for us."

Clay looked around the table and leaned forward.

"Now, the Niners promised me… promised Samcro that we could have the Mayan President in a silver platter. We could do whatever the fuck we want with him as soon as they deliver him to us. All for the small price of a few freebies from the Irish. A couple of AK's and Glocks and we get to put a bullet into the head of El Carcal. Piney will do it. Revenge for his son."

There were a few murmurs of agreement from the club members.

"Who is going to take over El Carnal?"

Jax leaned back on his chair.

"Ah!" smirked Clay. "The prodigal son finally talks after his silent treatment."

Tig smiled and Bobby cleared his throat.

"It's a fair question, if you ask me, brother."

Clay leaned back on his chair and looked at Bobby. "Good thing I didn't ask you," he responded slowly before looking back at Jax.

"Who fucking cares who is taking over El Carnal? We cut the head, the Mayans ain't going to survive."

Jax scoffed. "I would disagree."

"You know something we need to know?" asked a clearly annoyed Clay.

"You know the hang around with the weird shaved head and the tattoos on the side?" asked Jax.

"What about him?" said Tig.

"His name is Juice. Comes from Queens. Kid is smart. Computer savvy and shit like that. The other day, he was messing around and was able to tap into some FBI files. Word is that the Mayan's VP, Marcus Alvarez, is quite the MC member. Juice dug around for a couple of days, asked around and shit like that—seems like people in Oakland are ten times more afraid of him than El Carnal."

"What's your point?"

"My point, Clay, is that El Carnal, we could handle. Motherfucker is a sitting duck compared to this Alvarez guy. El Carnal is just using the MC as a gravy train. He isn't looking to expand territory or go into war with another gang or MC. He is just continuing the war with the Niners cause that's what is expected."

Jax leaned forward and placed his arms on the reaper table.

"Now, if we cap El Carnal, Alvarez takes the gavel. He is young and power hungry. He is going to look to expand…"

"Good for us, don't you think, Prince Charming?" Clay cut Jax off. "War between the Mayans and Niners means an increase in gun supply. That increase will line our pockets with cash since we would provide the guns."

"Not when we are four man down," answered Jax. "Otto and Lenny the Pimp are in Stockton for the next couple of years. Piney is too busy drinking his woes away at the cabin and Opie…"

Jax briefly looked down. "And Opie is gone," he finished off and then looked around the table. "We got to think smart here. A war with the Mayans is not something that would be in the best interest of the club right now. If we kill El Carnal, Alvarez will more likely than not take over. He is going to want retribution so to prove how big his stick is. He will gun down for the Niners and their known allies, us included. The Mayans Oakland charter is triple our size right now."

"Then we recruit. Plus we got the other charters at our beck and call."

Jax shook his head. "We can't recruit fast enough. Those hang rounds out there need to prove themselves worthy enough to wear the Reaper. That takes at least a year. If we kill El Carnal tonight, by the time the Prospects are ready, the streets of Charming will be red."

"Jackie boy has a point," said Chibs.

"Someone needs to pay for Opie! We owe it to Piney." Tig slammed his hand on the table.

"The Mayans weren't the ones who slit his throat," Jax's eyes turned icy. "I was there, remember?"

"And we definitely cannot go against the Aryan Nation," Bobby lit a cigarette. "We got to be careful how we navigate these waters, brothers."

"So what do you suggest, Jax? We just let the Mayans be?" Clay asked sarcastically.

"No. I suggest we weave a web so entangled that the real killer of Opie will pay and we use the Mayans as bait."

"You want to go after the Aryan Nation?" asked an incredulous Tig.

"Nah…" Jax looked straight at Clay. "We go after an ATF bitch."

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Thursday, August 21st, 1997 7:00pm

Jax flipped another page of Great Expectations, ignoring his rumbling stomach and Knowles walking around the house, clearly searching for something before heading out to go get drunk with his buddies.

When the door finally slammed shut and Jax closed the book and jumped out of the bed.

He straighten out Tara's room, just how she liked it and waited a few more minutes before making his way to the kitchen to make something to eat.

For the past week, he has learned that Derek Knowles was a man who rather drink himself into oblivion instead of eating anything solid. His first night there was filled with hunger. When Derek passed out, Jax snuck into the kitchen and was a little surprised to see that the refrigerator only had mustard and two old onions. When Tara was around, she made sure to keep the fridge stocked. Now that his daughter was gone, Derek drank. The few times Jax smelled food, it was Chinese takeout.

He took it upon himself to either eat before crashing at the Knowles residence or he bought a singular frozen dinner at the supermarket that he popped into the microwave as soon as Derek left for his nightly binges.

Jax walked into the kitchen with his latest frozen dinner.

Jax opened the microwave and popped the food in.

He looked around and was instantly disgusted with the filth that covered every inch of the kitchen and joining laundry room.

When Tara lived there, the house was spotless.

His heart panged as he remembered his beloved. Walking over to the microwave, he took out his meal and sat on the table, wolfing down the food, trying his hardest not to think of Tara and what she was probably doing in New York.

On his first night, he tried to look around her room for Katie's number or even an address in New York that might point him to her direction. Within hours, he realized that his search would be fruitless. It seemed that Tara took with her or destroyed anything that would make it easy for Samcro to track her down. Obviously, when she did this, she thought he would be joining her on her journey.

He felt the deep pang of regret in the pit of his stomach making him push the hot plate away from him.

He thought about searching thru Derek's things but that man was a hoarder and his bedroom was covered in old paraphilia, pictures of Tara's mom and old, yellowing newspapers.

He ran his fingers thru his hair and sighed deeply.

He needed booze. And weed. And to bury himself with another faceless woman so not to feel her absence.

Getting up and picking up the left overs of the frozen dinner, Jax walked back to her room, planning his night as he slammed the door shut.

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Thursday, August 21st, 1997 11:17pm

"It's true what they say about you," giggled the blonde croweater.

Jax sat up and leaned against the headboard. Reaching over for a joint and the lighter, Jax lit up and inhaled as much as he could.

"And what is that," he responded as he blew the smoke from his mouth.

The croweater turned to face him and placed her hand on his chest.

"That you are absolutely amazing in the sack," she tried to move closer to his lips and he moved his face slightly so the kiss landed on the corner of his mouth.

He ignored her wounded look and stood, stark naked with the joint in between his fingers.

"Listen…" he paused racking his brain for her name and gave her his trademark smirk when he came up empty. "Listen, darlin' this was fun but you should check out if someone else needs your services. I'm doing to shower. See yourself out."

Jax didn't wait to hear her response before walking into the bathroom and slamming the door shut.

He heard the door slam a couple of minutes later. He closed his eyes as the hot water hit his body, the hum of his previous activities still coursing through his veins. He felt heavy, all the booze and weed making his body sluggish.

He heard the door to the apartment open and he sighed out of irritation.

"I told you to leave!" he yelled loud enough so the croweater could hear him. "I fucked you once tonight. Not going to happen a second time, darling."

A few moments later, he heard the door slam for the second time.

He grabbed the bar of soap and washed himself from the filthy of that nameless croweater. His head was pounding as he felt a migraine coming in and he finished washing up before shutting off the water. Grabbing the nearest towel, he wrapped it around his waist and walked into the apartment.

"What are you doing here?"

Gemma sat in one of the chairs, smoking a cigarette, a smirk on her face.

She took a drag and blew out the smoke from her mouth.

"Had fun tonight?" she asked sweetly, her smile getting broader.

Jax rolled his eyes and picked up his previous discarded boxers from the floor and put them over his towel. He did the same with his jeans and put them on and zipped up before dropping the towel to the floor.

"You know, Jackson, you should be careful what you yell out to people if you do not know who is on the other side of the door."

Jax grabbed his shirt and put it on and grabbed his piece.

He was just shrugging on his kutte when Gemma stood and put out her cigarette on one of the ashtrays of the room.

"You know, for someone who claims to love you so much, she sure never understood the life."

Jax looked at his mother. "What the hell you are talking about?"

Gemma smiled. "Your precious Tara was here. She barged in here, without even saying hello to me. Must have seen the little piece you banged." She looked around the room. "God, this room reeks of booze, weed…" she paused and looked at Jax. "And pussy."

Jax paled. "Where did she go?" he whispered.

Gemma shrugged her shoulders. "Don't know and don't care."

Jax ran out of the room and made his way to the main room of the clubhouse. Like every Friday night, it was packed with bodies, making it difficult for him to look around and move around. He pushed himself through the crowd, rushing as much as possible.

He made it to the lot and he looked around, not seeing her face anywhere.

He felt the panic raise to his chest as he jogged to Happy, he was licking salt from a crow-eaters' belly button on the nearest picnic table.

"Yo, have you seen my girl?" he asked. Happy looked at him and shook his head turning back to the giggling croweater.

Jax ran towards his bike and within seconds had roared out of the lot.

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Friday, August 22nd, 1997, 2:31am

He looked all over. Everywhere from the diner they use to frequent to her house to even her mother's grave.

He sat on his bike on Hale's driveway. He knew Mom and Pop were out of town and so was Jacob.

Jax had a hunch that if Tara reached out to someone from Charming it would have been Hale.

He finished his second joint and waiting for Captain America.

Tara has always made it clear to him that she would never tolerate him with other women. She didn't care that monogamy and the MC life didn't go together. He loved her previous possessiveness towards him. Loved it when she fought the multiple women who tried to get into his pants while they were together; and he honored their relationship by not once straying.

Even though, technically speaking, they were not together, if she really walked into the apartment right after he screwed that croweater, there was no way she would ever forgive him.

He took another hit, his head becoming foggier by the second.

Why was she back? Why didn't she call him? Who did she reach out to?

Obviously it was not Derek. Derek's phone never rang and he didn't see any letters from her when he flipped thru Derek's mail. He hoped for an address from New York City, every time he looked thru Derek's mail and Jax was always disappointed when he didn't see her neat handwriting on any of the envelops.

She must have reached out to Captain America. She had to…

Jax felt the all-familiar pang of jealously he always felt when he thought of Tara and another man.

Throughout their relationship, Jax always knew, deep down that Tara was too good for him. She was incredibly intelligent, kind, generous, and most of all, beautiful. She always gave so much of herself to others that at times, Jax had to remind her that it was ok to be selfish. But it was her giving heart that made him fall deeper in love with her each day. He was constantly surrounded by the greed of Clay and the other MC's Samcro dealt with so Tara was always his reprieve from the anarchy that was bestowed on him since birth.

As they navigated the ups and downs of their relationship, Jax was always baffled by Tara's relationship with David Hale.

To Jax, Hale and his family were the opposite of what Tara stood for. The family as a whole only looked out for themselves and their pockets, often profiting from Charming's desperation for growth. Jacob Hale, Sr., was some hotshot judge out in Stockton, who has based his career in putting away the "troubled youth and anyone who has a precondition for crime." Jax read that once in Charming Daily and he scoffed after reading the article that highlighted Hale Sr.'s tough stance on crime. Mrs. Hale was a local socialite who often frowns when she is forced to rub elbows with Samcro during Charming's charity functions. Jacob Hale, Jr. was the biggest scum in Charming High. He flaunted this family's wealth and made sure that his posse used or abused nearly every student in the damn high school. By the time, Jax and Opie arrived as freshmen, Jacob Jr. was a senior who was accepted early decision to Stanford, where his Daddy and Daddy's Daddy went before him. Then there was David Hale.

Jax took another hit and let the smoke fill his lungs.

David Hale and Jax were always in two different ends of the spectrum. While Hale enjoyed following the rules to a T, Jax thrived in breaking them. Jax has many memories of him and Opie pushing the limits of teachers and their aides when they were kids. While he and Opie created havoc wherever they stepped foot, Hale was the perfect kid, who never stepped a toe out of the line. Once JT even commented that Hale would be perfect for the military where rule and order was the way of life.

As they grew older, the distinctions between Jax and Hale became more profound, as Jax embraced Samcro wholeheartedly. When they both enrolled into Charming High, never did Jax think that their paths would cross because of Tara Knowles.

Jax has very vague memories of Tara when they were kids. She was always the quiet girl, who rarely talked to anyone. Jax could recall the few times he did notice her, how thin and pale she looked compared to the other kids. Her clothes were always unstylish and old, making kids their age pick on her for having clothes from the Salvation Army. After her mother committed suicide, Tara went from the girl that was constantly teased to the girl everyone ignored. The first couple of months, the pity radiated off every adult. Their classmates basically stayed cleared of her like if Tara carried some contagious disease they did not want.

There were times, were Jax did chitchat with her and found her to be cool enough to be polite to. But honestly, he was a kid and he cared more about dirt bikes and pranks than he did of the girl whose mother had killed herself.

As they grew into their preteens, Jax discovered the wonders of the opposite sex and from an early age knew he had a gift with them. All he had to do was smirk and they would throw themselves at him, with little to no effort from his part. Except for Tara.

While Jax flirted his way thru middle school and Tara hit the books. He remembers always seeing her with a book open, doing homework or extra work to get ahead. Her clothes were still old and used but she carried herself with a grace that made more than one guy notice her.

David was one of those boys. Jax remembers seeing them studying together, them sharing a table at the library and lunchroom often. Their studious nature came in handy when they both graduated top of their middle school class. Jax remembers seeing them taking a picture together after graduation, David beaming has his arm wrapped around Tara.

He should have known then that Tara was going to become a huge component of his life when he felt a pang in his stomach when he witnessed them taking the picture. At the time he didn't understand why the shy, independent girl who didn't bat an eyelash when Jax joked with her was slowly creeping into his heart.

It was during Jax's freshmen year that they became more than just acquaintances.

Their biology teacher, Ms. Rosemary, who saw past Jax's bullshit façade, assigned him and Tara as lab partners. Ms. Rosemary hoped that the brilliant Tara Knowles would rub off on bad boy, Jax Teller. Ms. Rosemary's plan worked, since for the first time in his life, Jax focused in class. Tara enthusiasm and focus on school motivated him to do well in biology. Every time he received a good grade, Tara's proud smile made his heart flutter. Within the first month of starting high school, Jax switched his seats in all the classes he and Tara shared, so to sit next to her. It was during the first months, that he really got to know her. Tara saw him, Jackson Teller, not Jax, the future biker. As the months flew by, the deeper their connection became. Tara became the first person, besides Opie, who Jax let in. She went from being a lab partner to a dear friend and confidant.

She was the first person Jax opened up about John's death. Just like him, she had lost a parent and knew the pain that lingered after someone you love passes away. Not once did she judge him when he revealed his fears for his future and his fears of failing his father's legacy. Quite the opposite actually; she encouraged him to follow his own path that would make JT proud to call Jax his son. At the time, he truly believed that Samcro was that path. Since then he has been awoken from his deep slumber.

She made him see the world thru different eyes, often exposing him to new literature, new movies, and new ideas. So profound was the change in him, that everyone noticed, especially Samcro and his mother. Initially, Gemma chalked it up to John's death. It was when Jax started hanging out around Charming with Tara that Gemma started pressing him about the mysterious girl, who was influencing her son.

Jax took one more drag of his joint and threw it on the ground.

A fond memory creeps into his mind. The first time he and Tara became more. The first time he asked Tara out, they were in the middle of studying for one of Ms. Rosemary's tests. They were sitting alone, in Charming Gardens, learning about osmosis in cells or some crap like that. He could recall how the wind would make her hair flutter around her face. How she would run one of her hands thru it, so to get it out of her face, her cheeks flushed a bit. At the time, he thought she was chilly even though his hands never stopped sweating. He wanted to hug her close to him, so to make her warm. She would bit her lip after explaining something to him, often avoiding his eyes, mumbling the last words of every sentence. He remembers her sighing deeply at one point looking to the horizon, the wind picking up speed. He remembers turning her face towards him, her puzzled look making him question whether he was making the right move. He paused before leaning forward and planting the softest of kisses on her luscious lips.

Jax smiled as he remembers how he pulled back to look into her face. He remembers her look of shock at being kissed by him. How his heart beat faster in his chest as he waited for any sort of reaction from her. How he blushed furiously and was about to mutter some half-assed apology when Tara grabbed his face and kissed him with such tenderness that Jax swore it was like he became alive again.

From that day on, they were pretty much inseparable, spending nearly every waking moment together. Within a few months, they were also sharing the same bed, needing to be together as much as possible whether awake or asleep.

Jax got off his bike and sat in the steps that led to the front door of Hale's mansion. He felt so tired and his brain was too foggy.

He leaned his head in one of the columns and closed his eyes for a minute. A minute filled with Tara's face and a feeling of dread slowly creeping in.

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Friday, August 22nd, 1997, 5:14am

It felt like a shoe was digging in deeply into his ribs.

"Can you get the fuck up?"

Jax opened his eyes, his head pounding and his body swore.

David stood with his arms across in front of him.

"What are you doing here?"

Jax stood and swayed a little bit on his feet. "Where is she?" he asked his words slurring a bit together.

David shook his head and moved around Jax, pulling out a key from his pocket.

"I'm talking to you!" shouted Jax.

David opened the door to his house and turned to look at Jax. "What the hell do you want, Jackson? Haven't you done enough damage?"

Jax stepped up to where David stood. "Where is she? Please, David. I need to see her?"

David looked at Jax for a moment and took a deep sigh. "She is probably on her way back to her new home. I drove her to Sacremento after she caught…" David didn't finish the sentence but looked at Jax with reproachable eyes.

"She didn't mean anything. That croweater. She was just…"

"I don't give a shit about who you stick it to. Fuck man, she walked into a room where you had just fucked a woman not even six months after she left. How do you think she felt? Given how she probably hasn't even looked at a man since she left Charming. And you always claim to love her so damn much. That's how you show your love? By fucking the first available hole you find?"

"You have no right to judge me. You don't know what the fuck I have been thru."

"Cause the world revolves around you, you asshole." David shoved Jax.

Jax stumbled back a bit and was ready to punch that shit out of David.

"She wanted me to tell you something."

Jax halted. "What?"

Jax felt his heart pound against his chest.

"Tara asked me to tell you to never try to contact her. To forget whatever you two had. To let her live in peace."

"That's not fucking true," yelled Jax. "She came back. She came to see me. She wouldn't have come if she didn't want to be with me."

"She came and walk into a room where you had just been balls deep inside another woman. Guess that changed her mind, don't you think?"

"Please," Jax implored. "Tell me where she lives. I need to explain what happened. What has happened since she left."

"I don't know where in New York she lives. And she made it very clear she wants nothing to do with you or your damn club. So just let her be. Now get the fuck out of my property, Prince Charming. You have done more than enough damage for one day."

Jax watched as David slammed the door shut.