Ch 4
Freya moved to crawl up on the bed, occupying the opposite end that her sister was at.
"Amelia..." River's voice floated through the room, though Freya didn't seem to hear, "Amelia."
Amelia's head shot up, fresh tears springing to her eyes. "Mummy?"
River's form sat on the edge of the bed, shimmering and pixilated, "It's alright, my sweet."
She reached out for River though her hand went right through her. "Come back! Why can't I touch you?"
River put her hand so it would have been touching Amelia's head if she were more than just a projection, "Because I'm not really here. Only my mind is here."
"Then go back to your body." She insisted, sitting up. "Then everything will be okay."
"I wish I could, my love, but I can't. It's not that simple." She looked at Amelia, then Freya, then the Doctor across the room.
"I don't understand. Just come back. Please come back." Amelia whimpered. No one else seemed to see River. "Why didn't you leave me a video?"
River shook her head, eyes sparkling with tears, "I did, I did leave you a video. And there are other things for you and Freya and Arthur and Daddy back in my room. I promise, I didn't forget to leave you things, my darling. I love you so, so much. And I'm so very sorry."
"Don't leave us! Don't leave me! You hafta come back and make things better! Please, Mummy, stay! Come back!" She was sobbing all over again.
"Doctor!" Vastra called, running to Amelia, alarmed that she appeared to be yelling at nothing.
River did what resembled a hug, "I wish I could Amelia, I wish I could, but I can't. I'm so sorry. Oh, Amelia, I'm so sorry."
Amelia tried to hug back, grasping at the air in vain. "Mu-mummy!" She wailed. "Don't go! D-don't go!"
River moved off the bed standing a few steps back as Vastra ran to Amelia, holding her tightly, "Doctor! Come here, quickly!"
"No! Go away!" She struggled against Vastra. "You're not Mummy!"
The Doctor rushed over. "What's going on?"
"I don't know! She's screaming as if River's here, I don't know what's wrong." Vastra moved away.
River's eyes softened as the Doctor came over, reaching out to touch him. He passed through her hand, nothing about him showing that he noticed her ghost. He took Vastra's place beside his daughter. "Amelia, lovie. Talk to us, what's wrong?"
River's face fell and she took another step forward towards to Doctor, wishing he could see her.
"Mummy!" Amelia sobbed, pointing towards River, "Mummy come here!"
"There's nothing there." He whispered, feeling her forehead.
"No! Just look! She's there! She's there!" Amelia wailed, reaching for River.
Vastra went to the spot she was pointing at, standing half in River's ghost. "I'll get some fluids for her."
"Daddy, please! Look!" Amelia sobbed, "Please, but her back in her body. Put her head back in her body and it will be all better."
"I can't, sweetheart. Even if she were there, I can't put a ghost back. Her body is too broken." He told her, trying to keep his voice soothing. He looked toward the spot, right at River's eyes in fact, but no recognition flashed. He only saw empty air.
"Then fix her body and then put her back." Amelia whimpered.
River walked right up to the Doctor so she was nose to nose with him, "You never could see what was staring you right in the face..." She muttered.
"I'm afraid it doesn't work like that." He sighed.
"Mummy, why can't he see you? You're right there."
"I don't know, sweetie." She whispered, "Maybe he just doesn't want to. You can see me because you have a mental link with the TARDIS and you're open to the idea that I could still be here. That's allowed you to see me. Daddy has a mental link with the TARDIS to, but… I suppose he's already closed his mind to my thoughts."
"But that's not fair!"
"What's not fair?" The Doctor urged.
"Mummy said you can't see her because you're not thinking about her anymore." Amelia looked at him. She hadn't exactly understood what River was saying, so her explanation was a bit off.
"That's not true. Of course I'm still thinking about her." River hadn't left his mind for weeks in fact.
"You have to let her mind into yours." She whispered.
"Like a psychic link? I can't link with her if she'd dead." He said, sadness building when he realized he'd never have the chance to again.
"Yes you can! The TARDIS will help you! The TARDIS will make your head and Mummy's head come together and then you can see her!'
"Her mind has gone. She's wherever people go after they die." He rubbed her arm, turning to Vastra. "I don't think it's hallucinations... Impressions of Timelords can be held in other Timelord minds for a while after death."
"Why won't you just try?" Amelia whimpered, "Please."
He sighed but nodded, thinking it would make her feel better. River stood in front of him, eyes fixated on his, willing him to see her. He closed his eyes, concentrating on the TARDIS, assuming the old girl would lead him to where he needed.
"Please...please... " River breathed, taking a step towards him.
He linked quickly with the TARDIS, able to search in rooms, not for life, but for it's essence in consciousness. His eyes shot open, but not because he'd found River, but because he found someone else. He stared frighteningly at the wall. "She's here."
"No, I'm here..." River whispered, reaching out for his cheek a tear trailing down her own.
He stood. "Vastra, take the girls to the other room." He handed Arthur to Jack. "It's Missy."
Vastra swept the girls up and ran to the other room with Jack.
River stayed beside him as the wall began to get pounded in. The door to where the girls now were disappeared and he pulled out his sonic, holding it at the ready.
The next blow made a hole big enough for Missy to step through, looking annoyed, "No more hiding, Doctor. I'm finished with hide and go seek."
"You're just mad because I won." He spat back.
She cracked a smile, "Won? Oh, hardly, Doctor."
"I've had you searching for nearly two days. That's got to count for something." He gripped the sonic tighter.
River touched the Doctor's arm gently, standing in front of him as if she could protect him in some way.
"If you think I was searching all that time, you're mistaken. You should see the state the swimming pool's in. Oh, and the library. Fire is just so much fun." She mused. "Though I did some mucking about and I did find this peculiar thing." She held up River's diary.
"No!" River's eyes widened and she ran to snatch the book out of Missy's hand. The book didn't move as River couldn't truly touch it.
"How the hell did you get that." He demanded.
"Oh, it was just laying around, out in the open where anyone could get to it. It's quite interesting actually, shall I read a bit to you?" She opened the book, flipping through the pages dramatically, "Oh, here's a good one! Dear Diary, I lost the baby." Missy's face contorted into mock pity, "Oh, how sad."
"Stop it. Just stop it! You have no right." He moved forwards to snatch the book back.
She hopped back, grinning madly as she flicked through the pages again, ignoring him, "Ah, this one's good too. 'Dear Diary, The Doctor says I'm dying'...oh quite interesting indeed."
"River's personal feelings are not your toys. Give it back, now!" He growled.
Missy stared at him for a moment before ripping several pages out of River's Diary and throwing them on the floor. She then tore the rest of the book in half and threw it at his feet, "Fine, take it. I was bored with it anyway."
He got to his knees, collecting the diary up with the greatest care he could manage and placed the pages back in order. "You're bloody heartless."
Missy shrugged, "She can always write a new one."
"She can't." His voice broke, holding the battered and broken book to his chest.
"What do you mean she can't? Has she suddenly forgotten how to write?" Missy sneered.
"Something like that." He swallowed.
"Oh, Doctor..." River whispered, going to stand between him and Missy, touching his cheek, "If only you would open your eyes."
"It this a guessing game now?" Missy put her hands on her hips. "The children bit her hands off, now that's a clever one." At the Doctor's silence, Missy stomped her foot for attention. "Oi, talk with me will you? I'm bored. You can only stick grenades into so many places before it gets old. Go on, crack a smile. Give me a riddle. Tell me a story where everyone dies in the worst way possible."
He wasn't listening to her. He was searching again. River moved so she was standing beside him, reaching to hold his hand. He looked up, eyes clearly somewhere else. "Once upon a time the was a young boy from Gallifrey. He had a best friend, but one day they grew up and parted ways and didn't see each other for centuries at a time. They had encounters, not always on the best of terms, but one encounter left the boy dying in his best friend's arms. So the friend mourned then moved on. When the boy found a way to live and found his friend again, he was infuriated that the friend had moved on and tried to destroy his life, somehow not understanding that it only created a chasm between the two." It didn't take a genius to understand the story was about him and Missy.
Missy rolled her eyes, "I'm not trying to destroy your life. I'm trying to improve it."
"Perspective, Missy. From the moment you came back, you've caused me misery. Hell, I might have been happy to see you, army of Cybermen or not, but then you went and harmed the woman I hold most important in the universe and haven't stopped. So, no. You are not improving it." He ground out.
"You're throwing your life away for a mutant!" She hissed.
"Well that's my choice, isn't it?" He crossed his arms, stare piercing.
"I'm trying to help you see how bad your choices are! Procreating with that thing is an disgrace to the Timelords! You can rise to so much greatness and you don't have to tend to her simpering needs. You'll regret the choices you made, Doctor." She sneered.
"The Timelords are dead! They're nothing but a title, one that I betrayed when I decided to play god." He could feel a fresh lump in his throat, but fought against it. "I stole a box and ran because I didn't want to be like they were. I don't want greatness- I'd take your army if I did. I just don't want to be alone, and with you I feel worse than a stranger! You can't give me your power; you can't give me admiration when you don't even understand the compassion and love that I've taken so long to find! For someone up on such a high horse, you really know nothing about people."
Missy shook her head, fuming, "You'll regret the choices you've made Doctor! Just wait!" She flipped the vortex manipulator on her wrist and slammed on the button.
He cursed. "Full ship scan: life forms!" A screen appeared on the wall, showing the life forms of Freya, Amelia, Vastra, Jack and Arthur in the other room. It also showed the Doctor, and another life form beside him.
He looked to his sides, though frowned when he didn't see any of the cats or Toby. "Narrow search: this room. List species."
One Time Lord, One Human plus Time Lord
His hearts tightened. "There must be some mistake..."
