Note:
I live! Hello, everyone. Thank you all for being patient in waiting for this next update. My apologies for not updating in almost a month *cringes* I am packed full of school, and it's application season. I have tons of work to do at the moment, so I will hopefully be back to updating much more often then once a month, when the holidays start in December. I just need to get passed one more month of school, before I go back to regularly updating. Again, thanks for being patient. Also, give a big hug and thank you to iterdei, the most amazing editor! (she seriously helps so much, so thank you so much)
Anyways, enjoy this chapter full of nothingness! Sorry, but we all know what comes after a breakup.
She sat clutching her legs, knees hugged to her chest, and thought about what she had done. She and Opal were done...forever. Ever since yesterday, Korra found herself lost, like a piece of her was missing. It made sense, though—there was a piece missing from her. Opal was gone.
There was a lingering chill that settled in the room, causing the Southerner to actually shiver. She never was cold, but now, there was nothing to keep her warm. She missed the warmth the small omega brought to her when they cuddled or the heartwarming things she'd say to Korra about how she was the most amazing person on this planet, if not the universe. As if. I'm a fucking piece of shit that doesn't deserve to be in her life.
After yesterday's events, Korra had only been held back in her room. She spent the night staring at a blank wall, thinking of what had happened. She'd just let go of her one and only, the one she wanted to spend her life with; the thought could only make her feel unimaginably empty. There was that gaping, dark hole in her chest all night, which continued into this morning and all the way up until now. It hadn't left her since the moment Opal had left for home yesterday afternoon. That moment the omega had stepped out of the front door, it had felt as if someone had torn out all of Korra's chest. There was just nothing in her.
The teen only sat huddled into a depressed ball on her bed, enveloped in a void of emptiness. Her chest felt light, almost like it was nonexistent. Something had gone missing, something major in her life, and Korra couldn't help but try to grasp for any feelings. She felt the loneliness that had also started to linger from yesterday, and it crept up to her, bringing only heartache and sadness. The only thing that could cure this was Opal, but she was gone. Thanks to you, she thought.
Pulling her gaze from the edge of her bed, the alpha looked over at the picture on her bedside table. Only once had she ever felt this way, felt the incredible, overwhelming waves of depression crash over her. Naga, she thought in the complete quietness of her room. If only you could be here, girl. You could make me feel better no matter what. Korra could vividly see that fluffy tail wagging and that wet, pink tongue hang from the polarbear-dog's mouth. It was something she missed; the Water Tribe girl yearned just to have the animal pounce onto her, to give her wet kisses again and to just lay with her. She would spend her long nights with the large creature, only to fall asleep in that soft, furry, white coat. Nothing could help her more than Naga could, not even her mother could help as much as the polarbear-dog could.
The Southerner continued staring at the framed picture of her and Naga. She was about thirteen when the picture was taken, and she could remember that day clearly. It was a beautiful winter day in the South, which Korra's family decided would be best to go out for a family day. They spent the whole day fishing on the ice fields, having a joyous time with each other. Korra could remember Naga bounding across the expanse of the thick ice, her tongue hanging from the corner of her mouth and her tail flagging in the air. She could also remember the polarbear-dog trying to sneak behind everyone to snag a fish from the bucket but was never successful. Well, how could a giant 2,000 pound animal sneak up when it was the largest thing in sight? Fortunately, Korra had finally given up to the cute puppy face and had thrown her companion the next fish she caught. The rest of the day was enjoyed by everyone, but Korra could only remember the times she and Naga had played on that vast field.
"I miss you, girl," she whispered to the photograph. She steadily reached out and touched the picture, as if she were trying to feel her best friend's silky fur again. Her eyes gradually welded with tears, when she thought of more memories she'd shared with Naga. I miss you so much.
There was a light knock on her door, and Senna quietly stepped into the teen's room. "Honey, it's almost noon, and you haven't eaten or anything. I called the school and told them you wouldn't be attending today, but could you at least come down or even just eat something today? I'll make you anything you want."
Korra only nodded, her eyes still resting on the framed family picture on her bedside table. Her mother slowly walked over to the side of the Water Tribe girl's bed and sat on it. With a light touch, the woman started to comb through her daughter's silky hair; Korra gave no response, still gazing at that photograph.
"I know this is very hard for you, and it will take time, but you'll have to let go some time, sweetie. I think you both did the mature thing of splitting off something that wasn't going to happen. You just need some time to recover, and you'll be back like you were—hanging out with all of your friends and her."
The Southern woman continued stroking through Korra's thick, dark hair for a few more minutes in the silence of the room. She soon got up to leave, knowing her daughter only needed some time to adjust to the major event that had just happened. Senna knew Korra never liked to talk about something so serious and emotional right after it happened, so it was best to give her the space she needed.
"I'll be downstairs if you need me." Senna gracefully bent over, kissed her daughter's forehead, then left the room, closing the door behind her.
Even now, Korra stared into the picture, not moving or adjusting to any discomfort she felt. Her leg itched, but who cared? Nothing mattered anymore at this point to the alpha; she'd just broke it off with her girlfriend, and she was now lost. Almost nothing would get her to move from her spot. Though it was irritating and uncomfortable, her itch would have to remain for now because she didn't care about what she felt anymore, except for the gaping emptiness in her chest.
Bing! Her phone let out a sharp noise, alerting a new message. Korra's eyelids slowly crept open as she awakened from her slumber.
With her tingling arm, she reached out towards her phone lying on the opposite side of her bed. Sharkbrows had texted her, asking her if she was doing fine. Of course I'm doing fine, Mako! Just ended a two year relationship over a stupid crush and my selfishness. I'm totally doing fine here... She could only roll her eyes at the message but figured that it was at least an attempt to reach out to her. I guess he deserves a non-sarcastic reply. He tried.
Korra: Maybe...I'm not quite sure right now. I just need some space and time to get over this crap
Sharkbrows (straight faced emoji): Okay, just let me know if you want to talk at all. I'll be here if ya need me.
Korra: thanks
Sharkbrows (straight faced emoji): :)
Korra carelessly plopped her phone back on her desk and went back to her state of nothingness. She felt nothing at all, and she didn't know how to get any feeling back. All her emotions were gone; nothing made her feel the slightest bit of anything anymore. Not one thing...
No one probably cares for you after what you did to her. You blew it all off with someone you could've had an amazing future with. All just because of a stupid crush on a "perfect" omega... I mean she is perfect, but you still have to be able to control yourself and not always mess things up. Why do I always mess things up? Why me? You should just go fuck off somewhere else.
The alpha somewhat snickered at the thought. She'd never thought about running away, that it could fix everyone's problems because she wouldn't be standing in their way. Maybe this is a good idea. No one will have to suffer anymore because of me—not even my parents have to worry about me. I'll just be out of the way, so everyone will finally be able to be happy.
After thinking about these certain ideas, the Southerner soon decided what was best. She pulled herself up from her bed, grabbed her backpack, stuffed it full with random clothes, dug through her drawers for all her cash, then grabbed her over-sized, navy, polarbear-dog hoodie and a dark blue beanie. With one last deep sigh, she walked out her bedroom, cautiously closing the door.
Looking at the clock that hung at the end of the hallway, Korra found that it was about twenty past one in the morning. Wow, must've slept through the whole day. Time flies when you don't care about anything.
As she crept to the top of the staircase, the Southerner could hear her father's heavy snores from downstairs. The young alpha carefully made her way down the staircase, only to step on the one really squeaky stair. The step groaned, as if being suffocated from the over-bearing weight of the Southerner. Korra couldn't help but cringe as she gently pulled her foot from the step because it couldn't creek any louder, even if pressure was being taken off of it. Finally, her foot made it off the step and skipped to the one after it. The alpha continued down the staircase, her heart now beating rapidly.
"You couldn't be any louder, could you?" she lightly mumble to herself, giving the step a frown.
Once at the bottom, the Water Tribe girl tip-toed into the kitchen and pulled out a paper pad and a pen and wrote:
Dear Mom and Dad,
I'm so sorry I've brought you so much trouble these past eighteen years but now you don't have to worry. In fact, tell everyone I'm sorry for ruining things for them because that's obviously all I do. I think it's best for me to go now. I'm old enough to carry my own weight and burdens so it's time for me to go. Thank you for all the support you've given me over the years. It means a lot to me. You both mean a lot to me. I'm just sorry I've brought you through so much to only cause this much more pain for you. Also, please tell Opal I'm sorry and that I hope she does well. She deserves much better than me and now I see that. You all deserve better.
Best,
Korra
There was a sudden plop on the pad, and a circle of liquid soaked into the layers of paper. A small simper slipped onto her lips as she added a final touch, something they could recognize her by.
P.S. Enjoy all that money you saved for me. No more college bills to worry about! Yaaaay!
Her faint smile faded, while she tore the piece of paper from the pad and laid it on the center of the kitchen counter. Her mother would probably be the first to find it because she usually got up early to make tea or coffee for Tonraq. Korra could imagine what Senna's reaction would be, only to force herself to think optimistically. Well, they won't have to worry about taking care of you anymore. You're a young, strong alpha who could easily find her place in this world. They don't need you anymore; it'll only be a relief that you've done this. Wiping the moisture of her tears from her cheeks, the Southerner sniffled lightly and cleared her emotions, having reminded herself that everyone would be better off when she'd be gone.
Korra walked out of the kitchen to the front door and unlocked it quietly, still cautious about not disturbing her parents, who were buried in their deep slumber. This was it. This would change everything in her life—in their lives. She lightly turned the door handle and gently pulled the door open. A crisp chill hit her as the door was cracked open, causing a shiver to roll down her spine. There was the fresh air of the night whipping against her face, and she already started to miss the warmth of her bed, the comfort of the enclosed room, the calmness of her subtle blue walls. From now on, this is what she had to face. This would be her future.
