I will shamelessly confess that I wrote this chapter and the three that preceded while listening to the 10 hours version of "Diggy Diggy Hole" by Simon Lane on Youtube. Maybe I should try to listen to something sad if I want to write funny things?


Adjusting to our reality, part 24: Too much

Klaus stepped into the party with little trust about the music. The Sixties had had their own kind of music, and as he had said before, it wasn't exactly his favorite time. At least, he could count on the Beatles and one or two other rock bands that hadn't completely sucked to make it kind of enjoyable.

And there still was his other source of amusement of the day, which included killing a witch, so it could have been worse.

Everything was going smoothly when the older Salvatore, Damon if he wasn't mistaken, came to him, and said he wasn't impressed with the little compulsion he had used so far. Something about it not being much for a frightening Original who should be trying to eat the doppelganger alive. Klaus might have said that the whole point of a sacrifice was that the person was alive until the moment they weren't anymore. But it might have seemed strange coming from Alaric Saltzman, and frankly, if he couldn't simply ignore the young vampire's comment...

Well.

It took him a little time to notice that the older Salvatore wasn't exactly calm, as he couldn't hear heartbearts in this body. Maybe the sassy vampire was all talk and no action, finally. Because for now, Klaus had only heard words, nothing but words.

The fact that Ric wasn't saying much was getting on Damon's nerves, and not in the safe way.

The safe way would have been him getting angry or something like that. It wasn't what was usually considered Damon's safe way, but there, it really was.

Because the bad way, the one he was this time, was one that made him nervous.

Damon had come to a decision. He couldn't do as if everything was alright anymore.

For some time he had thought that he could overcome this, that he was better off doing as if Ric was only a friend to him, but he couldn't anymore. Even if their friendship drifted away after that, it was the only thing he could do.

The vampire took a deep breath.

"Alaric, we need to talk."

Rather, he needed to let things out, a perfectly fast monologue, and, maybe, a little more than that, and then running away before the man he loved could react.

Yes, he had decided at first he would face the consequences of his actions and attraction, but really, between what suited him and reality, there was a world of difference.

He'd try to stay and listen to what the hunter would answer. He would try. Damon wasn't sure he could, but he would try.

"Talk, then."

"In private."

Klaus raised an eyebrow, wondering what it could be about. Curious, he followed the vampire.

Damon lead him to an empty classroom. The music from the party could scarcely be heard from there. The vampire closed the door, and sat on a desk, head between hands, for almost a minute.

Just when Klaus was about to ask what he wanted to tell him, the vampire blurred in front of him.

"What are you...?"

Klaus had no time to finish that sentence.

Talking about the unexpected, that was one hell of an unexpected thing.

Shit.

Damon was doing it in the wrong order once again.

He had decided he'd talk to Ric first. First. Not last. Not even second.

What he was doing right now was definitely the expression of complete insanity.

And yet there he was, his lips barely laid on Alaric's.

It wasn't much of a kiss. Only a slight contact. But it was so fulfilling, Damon wouldn't have known what to do if it had been more than that. He might have exploded, figuratively speaking.

And to think it was hardly a touch. Ric wasn't even responding to his attempt. If he had, what would have become of Damon? Only a corporeal thing, no feelings, nothing more than physical contact. He knew it, and yet the vampire was so hot inside he had this feeling someone was eagerly shoving hot coals in his stomach.

Then came the realization.

Alaric wasn't responding. At all.

Damon had thought it could go that way. In fact, he had been convinced it would go that way since hour one, when he had first thought about it, days ago. It had to go this way.

Not only because Ric didn't love him back, but also for the sole reason that your best friend kissing you out of the blue, was enough to keep you speechless for half an hour.

Damon stepped back. Apparently, he had succeeded in that at least. The teacher was utterly speechless. And the vampire wasn't able to look at him.

Instead, words poured out of his mouth like a toxic substance burning his throat.

"I love you."

The shortest sentence. The worst one first.

"I love you so much I'm losing my mind when you're around. I wasn't planning to tell you, but my heart is only this big. You, you're too much for it. It won't fit, if I don't let my nonsensical love for you out a little. My heart won't accept more pressure. You can break it if you want. You can welcome it if you want. Anything you want to do with my heart, I will let you do it. What comes next is up to you, Ric, but you can't ask me to erase this moment from our reality."

Doing as if nothing happened would never work. It wasn't only about Damon. It was also about Alaric. Neither of them could ignore what had just happened.

"I don't want you to choose right now, but I need you to know that I love you. You told me to fall in love with someone completely different from Katherine or Elena. You surely weren't expecting it to be you. I don't actually believe you would choose me over Jenna, but I can't stay silent anymore. I guess I'm really a lost cause, am I not?"

There it was. He had said it.

Damon raised his head to finally look into the hunter's eyes. He already knew he could as well rip his own heart out of his chest. The answer was obvious. But he had to look Alaric in the eyes.

What he saw wasn't what he had expected.

What he saw wasn't Alaric.

Shock? Checked. Disgust? Checked. Pity? Checked.

Pity.

Pity wasn't Alaric. Pity wasn't a feeling any considerate person would have displayed after such a confession. Alaric was a considerate person. Pity wasn't Alaric.

For a split second, the vampire couldn't understand.

Then he understood.

The how wasn't the matter. Facts were facts. This was Alaric's body, but it wasn't Alaric. And if...

The vampire's eyes widened. Too much. It was too much. This time, he wouldn't be able to overcome this. Damon ran away. As planned. But not for the reasons he had expected.

Klaus stayed there, without moving, for quite a long time. That was weird. Being kissed by a man. While in another man's body. Bloody hell.

It really wasn't the time to do the shocked face. He had a witch to kill, before the older Salvatore went and told everybody Alaric Saltzman wasn't himself anymore.

As for Damon, he was throwing up in the school bathroom when it occurred to him that he might as well warn Stefan that the evil Original was hijacking the body of a man he hadjust kissed and confessed to. Of course, he wasn't going to tell his brother the last part. Only stating Klaus' presence in the teacher's body would do for now. And, even, forever.

The vampire threw up once more thinking about how he had suffered for nothing, how he suffered even more now, how he was never going to try that again.

As he had told Ric, no, Klaus, his heart couldn't bear more than what it had already gone through.

When he spotted Elena and his brother, dancing happily, he thought he would vomit again. Why wasn't he allowed to be happy, when they were? Sure, they had a constant threat upon their pretty faces, but them, at least, had someone they loved and who loved them back.

Damon waited a second, trying to look better than he felt, and cleared a path between the dancing teenagers.

The happy couple's mood darkened when they understood something wasn't right.

Damon tried to play it cool, damonish as always, but his tone still betrayed him.

"Houston, we have a problem."

Stefan frowned, wondering what was wrong with his brother. Because Damon looked like he was about to fall apart. And that was habitually a very, very bad omen.

"I know, and you know I do. His name is Klaus, for the record."

"No, his name should be Alaric and yet isn't."

Saying the hunter's name after what had just happened almost made him cry. But Damon Salvatore wasn't a crying guy. He was a killing-anybody-anytime guy. That wasn't the best part of his personality, but it was better than turning off the switch. Tried once, wasn't going to do that ever again if he could help it. Too much of a mess to clean up afterwards.

Damon snorted. He was doing it, wasn't he? Playing unaffected.

Elena waved a hand to Bonnie, who followed them when they left the gymnasium-turned-Sixties-party-dance-floor. As they were searching for the body scrounger, they rescued Jeremy from a bunch of compelled teenagers / morons-anyway, and the vampires were separated from the witch and the doppelganger.

Damon almost killed the kids. Stefan stopped him. The thought of Ric's anger if he did kill them helped the older Salvatore to snap out of it.

Then came the whole stuff with Bonnie battling Klaus in Alaric's body, playing dead, and Klaus disappearing once again. With Alaric's body.

Once back at the boarding house, Damon went to his room with his heart hurting like hell. Elena wasn't happy at all. Whatever. He had done what had to be done. It wasn't the issue.

The issue was rather simple.

Damon had decided to confess with difficulty. He had felt as if his heart was bleeding in his chest as he had been confessing his feelings to the very man from whom he wanted to hide them forever. And then, after all that, he had understood all the pain had been for nothing, because it wasn't even Alaric who had listened to him.

As if it wasn't enough, Alaric's body had been shattered by Bonnie's blasts.

Damon had seen and heard bones breacking, then being put back into place thanks to magic, he had felt the chills on his back each time Ric's body had been tossed against a wall, he had refrained himself from stepping in and stopping all this madness.

How could he only stand by and watch as the hunter was being torn apart by the young witch?

And yet he had.

Alaric. Used as a puppet, broken over and over again, banished from his own body.

How could they?

The teacher wasn't an object. He wasn't some plaything they could throw away when he wasn't useful anymore. He was one of the rare people in the world who made him feel safe. He was so human, and yet so abnormal, with his freaking Falkenbach Curse, that he had accepted even Damon as a friend, when he had understood that the vampire was nothing else than lost.

Lost. Both of them were.

Misfits. Supernatural misfits in a world that didn't believe in the supernatural. At least, not the majority of the world. Human and Undead. Alaric was cursed, Damon was damaged. Ric was inhumane, the vampire was rejected.

Alaric Saltzman and Damon Salvatore.

Was Alaric still somewhere in his body? Or had Klaus destroyed everything when he had jumped in the man's body? With magic, you never knew.

Maybe Damon could get him back. And, this time, he'd stick with the friendship thing. As he had planned to do to begin with. It was definitely the wisest thing to do. No matter what, the hunter wouldn't love him back. So, the vampire should try and appreciate what he had. If he still had it.

Damon looked at the bloody coat he had picked up after Klaus disappearance.

The vampire sighed, and went to bed. The blood was Alaric's, even if the mind hadn't been.

He fell asleep, holding onto the coat. Holding onto the only thing from Ric he had left.