River came home with the girls and Arthur not long after the Doctor had left, getting them settled with snacks.
"Where's Daddy?" Amelia asked.
River frowned, looking around, "I...don't know..."
"Maybe he went to get something." She guessed, eyes focusing on her snack.
"Maybe." She tried to smile.
"Bah." Arthur added, not actually sure what they were chatting about, but wanting some attention.
"Hello, my most handsome baby." River cooed, the sight of her son cheering her up a bit. The boy grinned at her praise.
The TARDIS materialized about ten minutes later, the Doctor fumbling out with arms full of things.
The girls scrambled out of their chairs, running to hug the Doctor's legs, "Daddy!"
He wobbled. "Hang on girls, let me put this down first."
"What is all that stuff?" Amelia asked, letting go. River stood in the doorway, with Arthur in her arms.
"It's uh..." He plopped it all down on the kitchen table. "Well some of it was suppose to be treats for you girls and Mummy and Arthur," He paused and looked at the plates of snacks. "But it looks like Mummy already took care of that... Well, I guess it could be saved for later." That last bit was said to himself. "I thought I would land earlier."
The girls peered onto the table trying to reach for the goodies the Doctor had brought back.
"Or you can eat them now. That's fine, too." He spotted River. "Do you want any? It's from your favorite pastry shop."
"Oh..." She seemed surprised, sitting down in one of the empty chairs, "Alright..."
He took one of the boxes the girls weren't digging in and offered it to her. "There's a bit of everything since I didn't know what you were in the mood for."
"You didn't have to do this." She murmured, opening the box and carefully examining each pastry until she found her favorite one.
"You skipped lunch." He said, fiddling his thumbs. "I wanted to."
"Thank you." She almost smiled, eating the treat.
"Nuh." Arthur reached for the box. River reached inside, breaking apart a small raspberry pastry for him. He eagerly shoved a piece into his mouth. River kissed the boy's head, smiling weakly.
"I'm going to go put this stuff away." The Doctor murmured, picking up the boxes that didn't have food in them.
"What is that stuff?" Freya asked.
"Some of it's a surprise for your brother." He answered.
"And what's the rest of it?" Amelia questioned
"That one is a new mirror." He pointed. "And that one is flower bulbs for the garden."
"Can we plant them now?" They asked excitedly.
"Yeah, sure." He nodded, glad that she hadn't asked about the rest. "Just let me put all this upstairs."
Freya stood on one of the chairs, grabbing one of the boxes they had forgotten to ask about, thinking it was bulbs and opening it. Immediately a wispy blue fabric sprung up, the box no longer it holding back. "What's this?" She asked, starting to pull the fabric out of the box.
"No, Freya!" The Doctor panicked, realizing she'd opened the box. "Don't touch that."
"Why not? What is it?" She asked again, though she let go of the fabric.
"Well, it was supposed to be a surprise for Mummy." He sighed, tucking it back into the box.
River looked up at him in surprise, then back down at the box.
He handed them the box that did contain the flower bulbs. "I'll meet you girls in the yard." They took the box, running out to the yard, chattering about what flowers the bulbs might be.
He gathered the rest of the things up in his arms. "Do you, uh, want to plant with us? Or nap with Arthur, maybe?" He asked River.
"I...think I'll nap with Arthur." She whispered, eyes fixed on the box for another minute.
He nodded. "Okay. We'll be in the garden." He went to go put the things upstairs and fetch some garden tools.
River brought Arthur over to the sofa, going to take a nap with him there. He was worn out from the park all day, finding sleep easy. She nuzzled his head, falling asleep quickly herself.
Arthur's very loud giggling was probably a factor in waking River some time later. River groaned, eyes opening slowly.
The girls were in front of Arthur, hands and knees covered in dirt. He was laughing at them as they were showing him words in sign language, thinking it was a puppet shot of some sort.
River tensed as soon as she saw the girls doing sign language, "Why don't you go wash your hands." She murmured.
"But Arthur likes it. We're not done." Amelia insisted, grinning.
"Please, girls. I don't want you getting dirt all over the house." She whispered.
"Okay." They gave in at that, going off to wash their hands. Arthur pouted, wanting the funny hand shapes to continue. River stood going to find the Doctor, taking Arthur with her. The baby fussed some as River walked.
The Doctor was in the kitchen, looking like he was starting to prepare dinner.
"I can do that if you'd like." She offered.
"Nah." He shook his head. "I got it."
"Alright." She nodded slowly.
"How was your nap?" He asked.
"Good." She murmured, sitting down and rubbing her back. "Were the girls good?"
"Oh, yeah. They were great." He smiled over his shoulder. "Are you in the mood for chicken?"
"Oh, well, I'm not very hungry, actually, but I'm sure the girls would love it."
He frowned slightly. "Are you still full from the pastries?"
"...Yes." She nodded, though she had only eaten a small little pastry.
"Well... I'll set some aside for you in case you get hungry later." He decided, concerned at how little she'd eaten today.
"I'm going to go give Arthur a bath."
"Alright. Join us for dinner after?" He asked hopefully.
"Sure." She headed up the stairs to wash Arthur.
Arthur wasn't too keen on having a bath, making it difficult to get him to cooperate. River grew more and more frustrated to the point where she gave up, forehead pressed against the edge of the tub while Arthur splashed around in the shallow water with what was supposed to be his towel.
Arthur was pleased to soak his towel, practicing the names of his sisters. Terra was still. River's shoulder's shook as she leaned against the tub, so tired of the terrible terrible week she was having.
"Muh-mah?" Arthur prodded her arm curiously. She didn't answer, sniffling quietly. "Muuh!" He tried again a bit louder, recognizing her crying as a bad thing.
She took a deep breath, pulling herself together and drying her eyes, "What is it, my love?"
"Nad." He offered her the soaked towel, thinking it would act as some sort of consolation.
River took the towel, placing it off to the side, "Thank you. Time to get out now?" He gave a confirming splash. She turned to get a new, dry towel, scooping him up at drying off his little body. He squirmed minimally this time, this usually being the bit that didn't bother him so much.
Once Arthur was all dressed, River brought him downstairs to sit with the rest of their family for dinner.
The girls were very chatty about flowers, deciding the fairies all wore petals for their dresses. Arthur watched them, hoping for more hand tricks. River watched the table silently, half listening to the girls' conversation as they talked.
"Mummy, can we pick the flowers when they grow?" Freya asked.
"If that's what you want to do." She nodded. Usually, she would have said no, but she wasn't really paying attention.
"We can make flower crowns!" She said excitedly. "We hafta start planting in the front yard, too."
"Maybe another day." River nodded again.
"Can we tomorrow? Please?" She begged.
"We'll see."
"I can go pick up more bulbs tomorrow." The Doctor offered. River stopped answering, eyes seeming to glass over.
The kids didn't notice, and though the Doctor did, he didn't comment on it in front of them. "Are you girls done?"
They nodded, "Can we watch a movie before bed?"
He looked at the clock. "Only if it's short."
They nodded, bringing their plates to the sink and going to pick out a movie.
Arthur started fussing again, the Doctor watching him closely. River touched the baby's head as if that would get him to stop fussing.
"Do you want me to put him to bed?" The Doctor asked.
"Sure." She nodded. He stood and gently scooped Arthur out of her arms. "Goodnight, sweetheart." She murmured to the baby, kissing his head as he was lifted up. He babbled back to her as the Doctor took him upstairs.
River helped the girls put in their movie and then went to sit in the kitchen again. The Doctor came down with the baby monitor in hand, pausing in the kitchen doorway. "River?"
"Hmm?"
"Um, you alright?" He urged himself to go sit at the table with her.
"I'm fine." She whispered.
He knew that was a lie, but didn't push it yet. "Arthur's asleep." He murmured. "And I left the box on the bed for you."
She nodded, "What's in it?"
"You don't want a surprise?"
"I-" She sighed, "Why are you doing this?"
"Why am I... Giving you a gift?" He clarified.
She nodded.
"Because, well... It's not to apologize if you think I'm trying to get you to forgive me. I mean it is and I am, and that would be fine if you did but that's not what it's for. It's because, well, I just wanted you to be able to feel good about something, I mean, have something that isn't a stress factor since you have many more than is good for you." He stared at the table, thinking he'd fumbled that explanation.
"Oh..." She murmured, her reaction similar to what it had been earlier, "Shall...shall I go open the box then?"
"You can whenever you want to." He murmured.
"I guess I'll go do it now..." She stood slowly, touching his arm as she passed, "Thank you." She looked like she wanted to say more, but didn't.
He looked up at her and smiled, more hopeful than he was a second ago. "Welcome."
She headed up the stairs, to their room, sitting down on the bed next to the box and opening it slowly. The blue fabric once again sprung from the box, up close it was clearly one of many layers. River slowly pulled the fabric out, curious as to what it was. The layers of fabric worked beautifully together, all rich shades of blue. The bust of the material gave away that it was a dress.
She sighed as she looked over the dress. It was beautiful and under any other circumstances she would have loved it, but now, the sight just made her sad. It reminded her of all the other times the Doctor had given her a beautiful dress and then whisked her off on some fancy date. It made her feel like she was making all the wrong choices now.
Carefully, she set the dress back in the box and lay down on the bed where she could break down without interruption. What she had missed were two small slips of paper tucked into the folds of the dress: all-day passes to her favorite spa, that now lay on the floor. River eventually fell asleep, still not seeing the passes.
The Doctor crept in after putting the girls to bed and checking on Arthur. He wasn't going to stay but wanted to check on River and see if she approved of the gifts. She stirred and woke when he walked in, immediately wiping at her cheeks to get rid of the tear tracks that still stained them.
"River?" He asked softly, not able to see if she awake in the dark.
"Yeah?" She murmured, reaching over and turning on the lamp on the nightstand.
He looked at her with a small smile. "Sorry, did I wake you?"
"It's alright." She shook her head, struggling to sit up. "The dress is beautiful."
"I'm glad you like it." He murmured. "The kids are in bed. I just wanted to check on you. I was wondering if you decided on who to bring?"
Her brow furrowed, "What do you mean? Bring where?"
He was under the impression she'd seen the tickets. "With you tomorrow. Well, it doesn't have to me tomorrow if you don't want. I just didn't want you to think you had to bring me, you can bring Vastra or someone. You don't actually have to use the second one, I got two just in case you wanted company."
"Sw-" She stopped herself before she could use the pet name, "Doctor, I don't know what you're talking about."
"The tickets." He frowned slightly.
"What tickets?" She raised an eyebrow.
"The spa passes. Did I not put them in there? I swear I put them in there." He took a step forward, accidentally stepping on them. He looked down at the crinkle. "Oh."
"Oh..." She looked down to where his foot had stepped, "They must have fallen when I picked up the dress." He picked them up, dusted them off, and offered them to her. "Thank you." She murmured, her eyes lighting up as she looked them over.
"Like I said, you don't have to use the second one. It was just in case."
"Well, I don't want it to go to waste." She murmured, "And I do owe Clara for helping me."
"We can call in the morning." He suggested.
She nodded, "Thank you again."
"No problem. I'll, uh, I'll let you sleep now." He turned to go.
"Wait!"
He stopped and turned back to her. "Yeah?"
"I-" She stopped, changing her mind on what she was going to say, "Terra hasn't moved in a couple of hours. Could you do a scan for me? I would just do it myself, but you're always better at it than I am."
"Corse." He nodded. "I'll go get the scanner."
She nodded slowly, "Thanks."
He smiled weakly and went to go fetch it.
Toby was on the bed when he got back, his head resting on River's belly. The Doctor entered cautiously, going to the side of the bed. "Alright, give this a second." He murmured, programming the scanner. She nodded, watching him carefully.
He placed it against her belly as it possessed. "Is she usually this still?"
"Not really. She's been still before but not for this long."
He nodded. The scanner beeped and he looked through the results.
"What does it say?"
"It doesn't look like anything's wrong." He replied. "She's alright."
"Good." River placed a hand on her side, "I guess she's just resting then."
"A bit long to rest." He murmured. "But I guess so."
"Or maybe she's just cross with me..." She squeezed her eyes shut sighing, "She's been missing you."
"Oh." He blinked at her. "I didn't think she could hold much of a grudge."
"I don't know why she's not moving then." She was growing more and more upset, struggling to hide it, "Maybe...you could try just...putting your hand here..." She pointed to where the girl was resting.
"Alright." He nodded and carefully placed his palm over the spot. It was the first time he'd she'd allowed him to do so in a long while.
River's body immediately went ridged and she closed her eyes, biting her lip to stop it from shaking.
"If you don't want me to, River..." The Doctor worried at her expression.
"No, sorry it's fine." She whispered, her voice trembled. She opened her eyes, though she avoided looking at him.
Terra nudged ever so slightly against the Doctor, barely enough for either of them to feel. River stopped breathing, staring at a spot on the wall.
He pulled his hand away, hating how uneasy it was making her. "I'll let you sleep."
She stared at him, searching his face with eyes that were fighting to hide her sadness, "Will things ever be better?"
He didn't hide from her gaze. "With Terra. or... us?"
"Both."
"I can't promise anything about the future, but I'm not ever going give up on either." He replied.
"I miss you." She stared at him, wishing that they could, at the very least, just hold on another again.
He slowly reached for her hand. "I miss you, too. More than I would ever wish on someone else." He could feel his eyes start to sting.
She let him take her hand, gripping his as tight as she could, "I want everything to be okay again, but..." She choked on a small sob, "I'm afraid..."
"Afraid of what?" He urged gently.
"Of everything." She tried to wipe at her eyes.
"River..." He held her hand between both of his. "The universe has never been fair to use for very long... and we've faced a lot of things, more than a lifetime's worth of things gone wrong. But we survived through those and we did it together. I'm afraid too... I'm afraid of losing you. I'm afraid of our family falling apart. I don't want any of that to happen, and I don't want to be the kind of person you have to push away. I'm saying that this fear... it's not irrational. It's not worth drowning in, and it doesn't have to be faced alone."
She shook her head, "But I'm tired of being pushed to places where I'm completely uncomfortable. I'm tired of always feeling like the bad guy." She sighed, "And I'm afraid that if I stay with you, no matter how much you say those things will change, they never really will."
He stared down at their hands. "I never meant to-... I'm still going to try. I even if you don't think I am or it takes you time to see it, I'm going to try my hardest to not make you feel that way. Neither of us can fix anything overnight though so I can't promise this will be better tomorrow. Let's... Take this one day at a time."
"I just need to know I'm not making a mistake." She breathed.
"I can't tell you what's right and wrong and as much as I wish I could, I can't promise I won't make mistakes. I can promise that I'll always try to fix them, though." He sighed.
She sighed as well, "I know you will."
"I'll, uh, I'll let you sleep now." He stood quietly.
She nodded slowly, "Goodnight."
"Night, River." He said back, going downstairs to sleep on the couch again.
