A/N- Thank you to all of you lovely reviewers who took the time to write a little something last chapter. Here's the next one xxx


Chapter 8

She couldn't breathe. Vaguely, somewhere, fogged by the constriction of both her heart and throat, of the pounding in her ears, of her legs giving way, she could hear a voice telling her that someone loved her. But who? Not her parents. They didn't love her anymore, couldn't love her anymore. Not when they were no longer alive.

There was an arm touching her, holding her beneath her breasts and she just wanted to push it away because it wasn't her parents and nothing mattered any more.

"No." She thought she managed to struggle out. "No. No no no no no no-"

"-Elena."

It was Stefan's voice. She wanted to run. Another hand appeared then - on her arm this time. Jeremy. Elena felt herself turn into him, let her knees unlock as she cried and cried until she felt like there couldn't possibly be any more tears left.

She wasn't sure when it was that he'd been speaking because she didn't remember hearing the words. But he must have voiced them because as Stefan drove her away from the hospital - why were they even there anyway? What was the point? - and back to her old family home in the small Virginia town of Smithfield, the words car and accident and bridge and rain were on a constant loop in her head.

Stefan unpacked their things in her old room. The same room she'd lost her virginity to him in. The one where she'd kept a window open so that he could sneak in at night. The one where she'd got ready from prom and her mom had told her she looked beautiful. The one where Mr Cuddles, her loyal, stuffed bear still sat on the bed, waiting expectantly for the point in the evening where he'd be cast aside on the carpet in a flurry of ducking under the sheets like old times. Elena went to her parents' room, locked the door behind her and clutched at the flowery bedspread that she used to make fun of when she was a teenager. She tried to think back to the last time she'd told them she loved them. It was almost 6am the following morning when it came to her: Christmas. She almost didn't make it to the adjacent bathroom to vomit with shame. Christmas was over six months ago.

X

Work. She wanted to go back to work. She wanted antibiotics and drips and dressing changes and Caroline and crappy bagels with cream cheese and questionable coffee. What she didn't want was Smithfield with its grieving residents who were sorry for your loss. She didn't want the little house with its porch swing and flowery bedspread and sympathy cards above the fireplace and why the hell had Jeremy even put those there? She didn't want to be answering Stefan's questions. She didn't want to be in the car with him right now either.

"What were you doing in his room?"

"What?"

The question confused her. Whose room?

"That patient of yours. The gunshot victim."

"Damon? Nothing."

"You're lying."

"Stefan, we were eating food." Elena sighed, leaning against the window of the car as the landscape turned darker in the encroaching night.

"You eat food with all of your patients like that?" His eyes were narrow and she could see the anger there.

"The hospital food is pretty crappy and he was hungry. I ordered some food so I thought I'd get him some too."

"And you just ate it together?"

"Believe it or not, his room was quieter than the break room and it had been a pretty long day."

"I don't want you eating food in his room."

Elena said nothing, just simply closed her eyes against the pounding headache that had been present for the past few days.

Jeremy had begged her to stay longer - but what for? The funeral was done. Jeremy was going to keep the house because he'd never left the little town. Instead of going to college, he'd gotten a job at a small local bar, tending most nights and then playing in the house band some weekends. He'd married one of Elena's old friends from elementary school: Bonnie, and they were expecting their first child who would take his or her first steps on the same hardwood floor that both Jeremy and Elena had done, only her parents wouldn't be around to see it. She pressed her nails into her palm so that she could focus on the sharp pain. It was better than focusing on the sob desperately trying to push out of her mouth.

X

It was long past dark when they finally arrived back in New York. With parking spaces severely limited, they were forced to park several blocks away from their building in a less desirable neighbourhood. Elena didn't see the point in having a car, but Stefan had been insistent when they made the move from Smithfield that he would bring his beloved classic porsche. She'd never told him, but Elena hated that car; it was cramped and loud and always smelled like exhaust fumes. She'd even offered to get the train back, offering Stefan the opportunity to stay in their hometown a little longer seeing as he had no work to get back for. He'd declined though, and brought her back to the city which would now undoubtedly be her home forever.

As Elena pushed their front door open, it got wedged on the letters that had been posted during their absence. Pushing harder to accommodate the both of them, Elena winced as her hip came into contact with the hard wood. It was still a little tender from where she'd fallen on the coffee table. It was Stefan who closed the door behind them, his eyes instantly focusing on the red utilities bill on the floor.

"You didn't pay the bill?"

"I thought you'd done it." She replied sleepily, dropping her duffel bag on the counter as Stefan tore open the envelope.

"Look at this!" He exclaimed, shoving it under Elena's tired eyes.

She yawned, not even registering the numbers in bold. "I'm tired Stefan." She said. "I'll pay it tomorrow."

"You're tired? I'm the one who drove all the fucking way back here!" He grabbed her hair, yanking her head up so she could see the bill. "Why the hell is the bill this much?!"

"I...Stefan, you're… you're hurting me!"

"Then answer the damn question Elena. Why is the bill so fucking high?"

She shouldn't have said it. But she was exhausted and her brain hadn't registered the words forming at her lips. "Maybe because you spend all day watching tv or playing video games."

He gripped her forearm in a hold so tight that she could feel each one of his fingers against the bone there.

"Stefan-"

"-We have sky-fucking-high bills and you're buying people moo shu pork. You selfish bi… I need a drink." The force of him pushing her back made her stumble blindly backwards until her back collided with the sharp edge of the kitchen counter top, jarring her spine as though she'd been stabbed. It knocked the breath out of her and her wheezing pants grabbed Stefan's attention. His green eyes were wide with shock and then his hands came up - devoid of beer bottles - to his temples, rubbing harshly. "Elena I'm so sorry. I don't know what came over me, I'm just so tired and..." He inched towards her and she took an unsteady step back, banging into the counter top again.

"Don't." She held up her hands, covering her face. "Please."

"Baby, I'm so, so, sorry. I didn't mean..." Stefan trailed off as she rushed towards their bedroom, shutting the door behind her.

X

Elena had laid rigidly on that bed for exactly four hours and twenty three minutes. On minute twenty four, she had attempted a shower in the hope that the hot water would do something for her pounding head and her aching limbs. She was also freezing and no matter how high she turned that knob, she couldn't get warm.

Stefan had slept - actually slept - with his back to her and had stirred only when she retrieved some clothes from the small closet. As she pulled on the long cotton t-shirt, Elena noticed a dark bruise across her back - a reminder of the previous night's battle with the counter top. There were also red marks on her ribs and arms and she pulled the cotton down in disgust. She shivered into a cardigan despite the blazing sun outside and pulled her hair up into a bun. Taking one last look at Stefan, she fought back tears at how their relationship had come to that moment and decided to ask Caroline whether there might be a chance of staying on her couch. She could suggest a few drinks after work and take a change of clothes and a toothbrush - nothing to draw suspicion. The last thing she needed was judgement of her relationship, of Stefan, or her, and the time away from her apartment would give her enough time to think about what she should do. Elena wasn't stupid; she knew that nothing about what had been happening lately was normal. But Stefan was her boyfriend, the love of her life and she'd built this successful life with him. He was all she had left. There was nobody else to go home to.

The walk to the hospital from the subway station took longer than usual, her legs silently protesting with each step. Never before had she felt so dreadful - not even on the day of her parents' funeral. By the time she reached the main entrance, Elena was wishing she'd stopped by a CVS for anything that would take away the pain in her head and the shivering of her arms. It was as though her entire body was convulsing and when she reached the third floor and her ears met the sound of Caroline's voice, she wished there was a pill that would mute sound.

"Elena, I'm so, so so sorry." The blonde cried, throwing her arms around her friend. "What are you doing here? You should be at home and ohmygosh, let me get you a coffee or a tea or-"

"-Care, I'm fine." She mumbled, willing her fingers not to ache as she tried to pull away.

"Dr Gilbert." Klaus nodded, rounding the corner no doubt in pursuit of Caroline's shrill voice.

"Klaus, tell Elena to go home. We have her shifts covered and she looks like hell and really, she should rest and grieve and-"

"-Easy love." This time, it was Klaus' turn to cut her off. Elena used all the will in her eyes to convey that she needed to be there. "If she says she's fine, then I trust her judgement."

"Thank you." She managed to say, albeit weakly.

"I have some spare clothes in my locker." Caroline told her. "You can change into those so you won't be so hot."

"Actually, I'm fine like this." Elena answered. "I'll just grab my coat."

"When you're ready, you can prepare Damon Salvatore for discharge." Klaus told her. "His paperwork is already being sorted."

X

The white coat she'd worked so hard to wear did nothing to help warm her. In fact, if anything, what with the long cotton t-shirt and cardigan, there was too much material. She removed the cardigan, then put the coat on again. Too cold. She'd have to ask someone to turn down the a.c.

Elena knocked lightly on Damon's door only as a formality. She could already see he had seen her approach and was waiting for her entrance.

"Hey." His blue eyes were so soft that something inside of her chest clenched and she wanted to cry.

"You finally get to leave. Again" She said quietly, trying to force out a smile. It seemed like only hours ago that they'd shared their food together and she'd felt comfortable and warm, and happy. She wanted to go back to that evening.

"How are you?"

"I've been better."

"I'm sorry." His eyes seemed so sincere and there wasn't a trace of a smirk playing on his lips. There was that feeling in her chest again. "I'm glad I got to see you. You know, before I go. 'Cos I'm not planning on a third visit." She couldn't help the small, genuine smile that crept across her lips. "Elena…" Damon placed his hand on top of hers and frowned at the temperature. She snatched it away and a wave of nausea and dizziness washed over her; she steadied herself on the footboard at the end of the bed. "You okay? You look-"

"-Fine." She lied. "I just need to complete a routine check before you can go."

Another wave of dizziness. Pounding in her head. Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she took the clipboard from its place and moved toward the monitor. Her legs didn't feel like they were hers though, and she struggled to place her feet on the floor in front of each other.

"Elena?" She could hear Damon's voice faintly, somewhere, far away where she wasn't but her lips couldn't form the words to reply and then it was black. Peace.

X

The first thing she heard was a panicked voice and somebody wiping at her forehead. For the first time that day, she was warm, but there was now a horrible feeling of cold being wiped across her skin. She wanted to tell whoever it was to stop, but her mouth wasn't working.

"Get her coat off Caroline; her temperature is ridiculous."

Klaus. She knew that accent without opening her eyes. Not that she could anyway. "And her cardigan. Christ, no wonder she passed out."

Elena felt her arms being manoeuvred so that the warm wool was sliding off her. Again, she wanted to protest but no part of her body seemed to be functioning properly. Sounds were muffled and she knew she was on a floor somewhere.

"Jesus."

The tugging at her clothes stopped and Elena was grateful. She just felt so heavy. And tired. She wanted to sleep. The voices faded away. The cold on her forehead faded too. This time, it wasn't black but a sort-of golden light. It was nice. She was happy.

X

"Hey." Caroline's voice was soft, almost-whispering into the air as Elena opened her eyes and focused on the blonde woman in the chair beside her. "You passed out Elena. You have a really high fever."

"Why am I in here?" The brunette asked, gesturing to her hospital gown. "As a patient?"

"Klaus was worried about you - we all were."

"All?"

"Klaus and me." She replied. "And Damon."

Elena said nothing, just fidgeted with her gown, twisting the sleeve. "And Stefan?"

"I haven't called him." Caroline told her quietly. "I thought...I thought maybe we could talk about the...the marks on her back...and your arms." Her voice was almost inaudible. "And your abdomen."

Elena stared down at the stark white sheet covering her. What was she supposed to say?

"Elena, Klaus had to record it on your forms."

"He didn't...he didn't report it, did he?"

"It's not his decision to make. You know, if it were me -"

"-It's not you, love." Klaus said softly, entering Elena's room without knocking or even creating any kind of noise as he approached.

"What department am I in?"

"Ours. We thought it would be best to keep you somewhere we can check on you easily." Caroline told her.

"And we might need your medical opinion on certain matters." Klaus added with a wink which made Elena feel oddly more comforted. "Caroline, could you give us a minute? I'd like to talk to my patient."

"But you said she could be my patient!" She protested, jutting out her bottom lip in a pout.

"I think you'll find that you asked, and I said, 'we'll see'."

"Which means yes."

"In this case, it meant no. Go get a coffee." He told her. "Or treat another patient. Your choice."

"I hate you."

The door closed behind Caroline and Elena looked to Klaus nervously.

"I know what you're going to say, but-"

"-I want to keep an eye on your temperature. It was 105 earlier but it's been steadily falling. We'll keep you in tonight for observations. Try to get as much rest as you can."

He made towards the door and Elena swallowed the lump in her throat. "Klaus?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

He nodded once, then closed the door behind him.

X

The sound of the door opening stirred Elena from her sleep which hadn't been particularly peaceful. She supposed she'd dreamed, although none of it she could remember, save for the sound of clanking bottles and sharp stabs of pain in her back and abdomen. A delicious smell made her open her eyes to find Damon Salvatore dressed head to toe in black clutching a tupperware tub in his right hand and a bouquet of flowers in his left.

"Hi." He breathed and gestured with the flowers before he set them on her bedside table. "For you." He then held the tupperware tub up a little. "Also for you. I figured you might be suffering with hunger if the food during my stay was anything to go by. Caroline heated it up in the microwave so I'm sorry it's not freshly-cooked."

Damon handed Elena and she smiled when she saw what was inside. "Your infamous spaghetti and meatballs."

"I'm not sure they're worthy of the infamous adjective."

"Thank you," she said softly, taking the tub gratefully from him. "It smells amazing."

"Nonna Salvatore's secret recipe," he grinned. Took me twenty seven years to find out what goes in that sauce."

"Oh my God Damon, it's delicious."

He grinned proudly and she couldn't help but shake her head with a smile as he gave himself a mini fist-bump.

It really was a delicious meal and Elena was ashamed that she was only able to eat a few mouthfuls before feeling impossibly full. It had also made her tired, and she found herself struggling to keep her eyelids from drooping shut.

"Elena," Damon's voice willed her awake and she tried to focus her eyes on him. "I know what it's like not to be safe."

She looked down. She knew where this was headed.

"and you have to make the right choice."

"He's my boyfriend Damon."

"But you deserve to be safe." He trailed his fingers over the red mark just above her wrist, circling it gently - so gently that it made fresh tears spring to her eyes. She pleaded silently with them not to fall as she tried to blink them back. When she didn't say anything, he continued, "The shots were fired by my ex girlfriend, Katherine."

Elena was awake now, wide-eyed and ready to listen.

"We had a difficult relationship on and off and I think that we really did love each other. But she had some troubles - psychiatrically speaking - and no family to help her make decisions."

"What happened?"

"She struggled with the truth - telling it and also knowing what was real and what wasn't. She stole money from my company and tried to cover it up, pin it on others - including me - and the shareholders were close to taking over from me. She was diagnosed as a pathological liar and after that we were able to uncover a lot of the truth. But Katherine needed help and rather than press charges, I had her admitted to a facility."

"But why did she want to shoot you?" Elena asked.

"She felt like I was imprisoning her. It was my fault she was in there. I guess in those places, the residents get privileges for good behaviour, one of them being time unsupervised. Well Katherine managed to escape and break into my apartment. She took my gun, waited for me and then followed me and shot. Guess she's got pretty good aim."

"But how did she shoot you a second time?"

"This one," he pointed to the second bullet wound under his t-shirt, "was put there by some guy she met in the hospital. I guess they must have started up a relationship and she'd convinced him that I was violent towards her. He carried out her dirty work but that's typical Katherine."

"And what happened to them? I know the police were here."

"I had a new security system installed in my building and it caught Kai - the guy working with Katherine. The police were able to arrest him and they both now have to be supervised at all times."

Elena didn't know what to say. She continued to fiddle with the hem of her sleeve as Damon's fingers trailed absent-mindedly across the marks on her other arm.

"I didn't do anything about it the first time Elena," Damon said. "And it happened again."

They said nothing for the next few minutes, but she continued to let him lightly trace her arm, finding a sense of calm in his movements. His fingers left a sort-of tingling in their wake, and it warmed her body in the best kind of way. She could feel her eyelids dropping again, yet this time Damon stayed quiet, giving her the chance to welcome some much-needed rest.

She'd make a decision in the morning.