Ch 66

The first alleyway was a minute or two away and the small group made it with minimal difficulty, ducking into the shadows.

They had to stop at frequent intervals for River, but other than that, managed to make it to the building Jack had mentioned. They waited for a moment when no one was looking to sneak inside.

It seemed to be an old apartment, thought it was clear why no one lived around here anymore.

"I need to lay down." River murmured, breathing deeply. Whoever had once lived here left behind a good amount of furniture, including a couch for her to collapse on.

Jack locked the door and closed the curtains.

"Doctor..." River breathed. Her husband hurried over to her and Jack scoped out the place.

She squeezed the Doctor's hand, trying to breathe through the current pain.

Jack announced that the place was clear of any people. "Er... Should I boil water or something?"

River shook her head, "No, not yet. Can you try and find a few towels or blankets."

He nodded and went to search for them.

The Doctor produced a towel from the depths of his pocket. "Here."

"Can you deliver her?" She begged, "I don't want Jack to deliver her."

"Jack hardly knows how to put a bandage on a child let alone deliver one." That probably wasn't true, but the Doctor wasn't going to let Jack do anything but stand there and hand him things, or more likely stand in the other room and keep watch for search parties.

River nodded, still quite obviously nervous.

"Can I check your dilation?" He asked. She nodded. He lay the towel over her legs before examining her. "Have you needed to push yet?"

"A little bit." She admitted, "Are you sure she's in the right position now? Because-..."

He carefully felt her belly again before nodding. "Head is down and that's all I can say for certain."

She nodded, "How far dilated am I?"

"Just a smidge away from ten centimeters." He informed.

"Are you sure?" She looked alarmed. He nodded and gave her hand a squeeze. She shook her head, "Doctor, I don't think I can do this. I'm not ready.."

He looked up at her. "I'm sorry I can't make you any more ready, but I know that you'll be able to do this."

The words didn't make her feel better, and the pressure was getting stronger.

Jack returned with a bed sheet he'd found. "Will this help?"

River nodded, "Is this the only blanket?"

"Yeah. There's a bed upstairs if that'll be more comfortable."

"I think it would be more comfortable, but I don't think I can make it up the stairs."

"I can carry you." The Doctor offered. He scooped up River, towel and all, following after Jack. Her whole body was stiff and tense in her husband's arms as Jack lead them to the bedroom up the stairs.

The Doctor put her down on the bed, putting pillows behind her back. "The pressure's getting worse." She breathed.

"It only means you'll be pushing soon." He sent Jack downstairs to keep watch.

"That's not very reassuring."

He took her hand again, "You're so strong, love. You can do this."

She shook her head, "I don't want to."

"There isn't really another option." He apologized. She'd been saying for so long that she didn't want this pregnancy to last any longer than it had to, so her refusal confused him. "But the sooner she's out the sooner the pain will stop."

"It's not about the pain!" She cried.

He tried not to jump, keeping his voice calm. "I know." She buried her face in her hands. He scooted closer so he could put his arms around her. "Talk to me love?"

"There's nothing to talk about." She shook her head.

"There's something very big to talk about that's keeping you from wanting to push."

"Talking won't change anything." She whispered.

"Talking can change a lot of things, and there are a lot of things about to change for the both of us." He said in the same tone.

"Please stop." She whispered, "Just stop."

He frowned but stopped talking.

She refused to look at him for a long time as the urge to push grew. She remained untalkative.

The Doctor worriedly sat close to her, trying to watch her body language for clues. She shifted, extremely uncomfortable.

"...Is it stronger?" He eventually felt brave enough to ask.

"I'm fine." She lied, breathing through clenched teeth.

"You're in the late stages of labour..." He protested.

"I'm fine." She repeated, clutching the sheet of the bed. The action didn't go by unnoticed.

"May I check you again?"

"No, I'm fine." She snapped at him.

He didn't flinch this time. "I really think it's time for you start pushing."

"I'm not pushing." She refused.

"This isn't something you can put off for very long without harming yourself and Terra. I know you're scared, but I'm here."

She shook her head, "I'm not doing it."

"Why?" He insisted.

"Because, I told you, I don't want this."

Terra pushed against River's ribs to bear her head down. River was completely ignoring everything her body was telling her.

"What do you need, River? There must be something I can do for you to help."

"Just stop talking and leave me alone!" She hissed. He wasn't going to leave her like this but retreated to the end of the bed.

River sat, trying to fight through the pain for as long as possible. Luckily for her, she was a fighter and did not plan on backing down anytime soon.

An hour passed and the Doctor was getting frightfully worried. Her contractions were lasting longer than the breaks between them and if they were in a hospital there'd be preparation for an emergency cesarean.

They didn't have the tools for that let alone River's consent. The Doctor started searching his pockets.

"What are you doing?" River whispered.

"Seeing if I still have a stethoscope in here." He murmured.

"Why do you need a stethoscope?"

"To check Terra's hearts." He said, finding the equipment. "She's going to start losing oxygen soon. Or has."

"What?" She stared at him.

"I've been trying to tell you: this is what happens when you refuse to push." He stuck the ear pieces in, reaching for her belly. "May I?"

"No." She whispered, flinching away from him.

"Please, River... We need to know if Terra is alright."

"...Fine."

He approached again and exposed the skin of her belly, listening with the stethoscope. She stared at him, watching carefully. "Her heart beats are slowing." He said with a frown.

She didn't answer, focusing on a particularly bad contraction. He offered his hand. She didn't take it, squeezing her eyes tight.

"River... you're not built to keep her in. If she doesn't come out there will be negative effects you, too."

She sniffed, "I can't do it."

He sat beside her. "You don't have the strength to...?"

"No." She refused to look at him, "I'm not ready to be her mum. I can't do it."

"You do it so, so well for our other children. You love them through thick and thin... I know you can do that with her."

"It won't be the same." She shook her head, "You have so much faith in me and you're setting up all these expectations that I know I won't be able to fulfill."

"I only expect that you have love for her..."

"It doesn't feel like that's all you expect." She clutched the sheets beside her, trying to resist pushing through another contraction.

"I'll admit that my faith in you is probably more than what you have in yourself. I have faith that where love is, the rest will follow. I have faith that loving our daughter will guide you to protect her and kiss her goodnight and plaster her knees when she falls."

River cried out, leaning forward, her eyes tightly shut. He was still ready to let her squeeze his hands.

"I know I can't promise that everything will be alright, and I really wish I could. I don't know what the future will hold any more than you do. What I do know is that our daughter needs you right now. I know that holding her in your arms could be magical. You need to push, love."

Her eyes were red and she didn't appear to acknowledge what he said, but finally she started pushing. He positioned himself between her legs. "Big pushes now."

"Shut up." She growled.

He shut his mouth again, deciding his instruction was unwanted and River had plenty from her own body. Silent tears were forming in her eyes.

It didn't take long for Terra's head to become visible. The Doctor rather quietly announced the progress.

If it was at all possible, River tensed even more. She was terrified and felt so alone. She was shaking and desperately trying to hide how distraught she was becoming. Her entire body was covered in sweat and she had begun to bleed some.

He rubbed her leg reassuringly, "You're doing so well."

"It doesn't feel like it." She groaned.

"Just a few pushes and her head will be out."

She nodded, resuming pushing. He frowned once Terra's head fully emerged. River looked up at him, noticing his frown, "What?"

"Her color isn't good." He murmured. "I don't think she's getting enough oxygen."

"Is her neck clear?" She asked.

He nodded. "There must be a knot in the chord somewhere."

"What do I need to do?" River asked.

"Just push. We need to get her out as soon as possible."

She nodded, though was starting to struggle as she pushed hard.

"Deep breaths, love. You can do this." He encouraged.

She pushed harder, despite her body's warnings to stop and breathe. Terra's shoulder slipped free.

"That's it. One more."

She pushed again and shouted, focusing her energy in. The Doctor held his breath as he caught their daughter, pulling out materials from his pocket to cut and clamp the cord.

River fell back against the cot, breathing heavily, not registering that the baby wasn't crying immediately.

"She's pinking up." He breathed, wrapping her up in the towel.

Terra was whining when he put her on River's chest. River didn't wrap her arms around the baby as she usually would. She tensed and stared at her as if she had never seen a baby before. "Doctor...I don't want-" Terra let out a cough and started crying properly, terrified of this new world. "Doctor, please..." River begged, not wanting to hold the baby.

He was still busy between her legs, ignoring her request. "You're bleeding."

"Doctor!"

His eyes snapped up to her.

"I can't do this!"

He lifted his bloodied hands to move Terra off her stomach, placing her carefully beside the two of them. She whined something along the lines of alone.

River couldn't look at the baby, acting very strange. While her behavior didn't go unnoticed, the Doctor had to focus on the bleeding. "Still got to deliver the placenta."

River didn't answer, completely out of it by now.

"River?" He tapped on her leg, trying to get her attention. She barely glanced at him. "Little pushes for the placenta, yeah?" He said softly.

She gave a slight nod, looking over at Terra.

The infant was trying to squirm out of her towel, still crying strongly. River was afraid to touch her, she didn't want to hurt her any more than she already had.

Terra was too distraught to communicate with words, feelings of her own upset radiating out. She could feel River's fear and reluctance to be a mother to her and the only way she knew how to interpret that was as rejection.

"Doctor..." River breathed.

"Yes?" He looked up again.

"You have to hold her."

"I need to get this bleeding under control first."

"She needs someone to hold her!"

He wanted to say that she ought to hold her daughter but didn't want to push it at the moment. He lifted his red hands and scooped Terra up, hushing her. "River, I need to take care of you."

"She can't hear you hushing her." River murmured.

"She can feel me rocking her, though." He looked down at Terra's big round, wet eyes. "[Everything's alright, sweetheart. You're alright. Mummy and Daddy are here now.]" He signed.

River closed her eyes, looking away from the two. Terra didn't stop crying and he shifted her to one arm to continue tending to River.

River's face was draining of color. The bleeding slowed once the placenta came away and he looked at her again. "How are you feeling?"

She didn't answer, though she opened her eyes to look at him.

"You've lost too much. We need to get you blood. We need a way into the TARDIS."

She closed her eyes again, not really hearing him. Terra was still wailing, squirming in her father's arms.

Jack burst into the room. "The old guy came back. He gave me a vortex manipulator. And I overheard that River's now classified as a multiple-murderer, so they're bringing in the Shadow Proclamation."

River looked up at Jack, eyes unfocused.

"We can get to the TARDIS then." The Doctor said, hopeful.

Jack nodded, setting the coordinates, "Who's going first?"

"You take River first. She needs to be safe and she needs blood from the med bay." He insisted.

"Baby first." River shook her head, "She's too loud. They're going to find us."

"It's you they're looking for and you've lost so much blood." Her husband fretted.

"Oh, that reminds me." Jack reached into his pocket, pulling out a pacifier. "The man left this, too."

"I don't care." River growled, "I'm telling you to take the baby."

The Doctor hesitated, but Jack didn't. He grabbed the Doctor's wrist, the three of them disappearing.

"Gotta love that open aired time travel." Jack grinned once they landed.

The Doctor frowned in disagreement, trying to comfort a now wailing Terra. "Go get River."

"Ay Ay, Captain." Jack saluted and vanished out.