When River woke up a few hours later, her heart felt heavy though she couldn't remember why. She stood, going to the console room to head home.
The flight history had been erased and the ship seemed quieter than usual. She made her way home, trying to brush away the lingering sadness.
Once she had landed, she stepped into the flat. The Doctor was in the living room, helping Arthur practice walking. River smiled when she saw them, but found herself looking around for someone else, getting a bit disappointed when there was no one else there. She couldn't explain the feeling, it just felt as though something was missing.
"Mumma!" Arthur cheered when he spotted her.
"Hello, my love!" River smiled at him, going to scoop him up and kiss him.
He squealed and babbled excitedly, 'Taya' among one of the words spouted from his mouth. Usually, River couldn't really decipher what the baby was saying, but "Taya" stuck out to her.
The sinking feeling flooded her and she cradled the baby closer. "I missed you." She whispered, trying to blink back the tears that had unexplainably filled her eyes.
The Doctor kissed her cheek, detecting her mood. "Where'd you go off to?"
"I just needed to run a few errands." She murmured, giving him a weak smile.
"I was about to start making dinner. Hungry?"
She nodded, "Yeah, a bit."
"That's a good sign. You got so sick on Dundenbar I thought you had food poisoning."
"I'm feeling much better now." She assured him.
He smiled. "I'm glad. Will you watch Arthur?"
"Of course." She nodded, sitting down on the couch. He wandered off to the kitchen to start dinner.
Arthur reached for one of his mother's curls and tried to stick it in his mouth. River hugged him close, hoping is she just held him this feeling would go away. Arthur was very content to be with his mum, starting to babble again.
After a while, she set him down so they could play. The girls and Toby came down the stairs a bit later, wanting to join in with their brother. They family spent the next hour playing make-believe games in the living room.
The Doctor eventually called them to dinner, Arthur immediately trying to crawl in the direction of the kitchen. "It looks like someone's hungry!" River laughed.
Toby moved to block his path and point him back to his mother.
"It's alright, he can go." River stood, going to stand near the baby. Toby moved, though walked alongside the tot just in case. River kept a close eye on the two as they made their way to the kitchen.
The girls eagerly sat down as the Doctor placed the meal on the table. River scooped Arthur up and placed him in his high chair, then took her own seat. Toby sat below Arthur, knowing there'd be some food dropped eventually.
"Dinner looks wonderful." River smiled at her husband.
"Even better with everyone here." He said, looking around at his children.
She looked around the table, the feeling that something was missing returning, "I-"
They all looked at her expectantly, except Arthur who was chewing on his hand.
"I agree." She finished, hesitantly.
"Happy birthday, love."
"Thank you."
Arthur naturally made a mess of his food during dinner, the girls chatting away about the details of their sleepover with Matty.
The Doctor did the clearing when dinner was done, also starting on the cake. River cleaned up the mess that Arthur had made, sending the girls to go play a bit more while the cake was being made.
"Puppy!" Arthur wiggled in his chair.
"Yes, puppy's getting a very nice meal." River murmured.
He giggled when Toby licked at his feet. She lifted him up out of his high chair once he was clean, setting him down to crawl around. He did so with the dog trailing behind him.
"Toby loves Arthur." River murmured.
The Doctor nodded. "An adorable pair, they are."
She walked over to his side, making sure she could still see the baby, "How are you?"
"Fine. Why do you ask?" He looked up at her.
She shrugged, "I don't know."
"Are you feeling alright?"
She nodded, "Yes, I'm fine."
"You just... seem a bit off since we got back." He murmured.
"I'm sorry. I don't know why." She whispered, genuinely confused.
"It's alright. I just wondered if there was something I could do."
She shook her head, walking a bit closer to him and wrapping her arms around him. He grinned. "Did you enjoy today?"
"Of course, it was wonderful." She smiled, holding him a bit tighter.
He wiggled one of his arms free to return the gesture. "How many candles do you want on the cake?"
"Just one will do."
"I figure once one is passed two hundred, candle amounts become more fluid."
"Yes, I'm afraid you'd probably burn the house down if you tried to put all the candles on."
"I think I did try that when I was 703." He recalled.
"Oh really?" She laughed, "And what happened?"
"The memory is a bit foggy, but I believe I lost the whole of deck seven."
She smiled, "And that's why we don't try and put over 700 candles on our cake."
"Had to give it a go." He chuckled. "Lesson well learned."
She leaned in to give him a soft kiss, "Good."
He finished up the cake batter and put it in the oven.
"Can we talk about something after we've put the kids to bed?" She asked softly.
"Course." He nodded.
She turned to go to the living room. The Doctor scooped up Arthur and joined her on the couch. She sat and watched the girls play.
When the cake was ready the girls insisted on helping their father with the icing. "Try not to make too much of a mess," River warned.
"We won't!" They called back, though it was probably a promise they couldn't keep.
She stayed with Arthur on the couch, Toby laying at their feet. Arthur entertained himself with playing with the ring on River's finger.
River brought him into the kitchen once the cake was ready, resetting him in his high chair. The girl sat back in their seats looking very proud of themselves.
"You girls did a wonderful job!" River praised. The cake read 'happy birthday mum' in blue frosting with a single candle between the birthday and mum.
"We helped write it and everything!"
"Well, it looks beautiful!" She smiled, giving them each a kiss on the forehead.
Arthur made and excited noise, wanting both a kiss and cake. River laughed, kissing his cheeks as well.
The Doctor lit the candle and all who could started to sing happy birthday to her. Once they were finished, she blew out the candle and cut the cake.
Arthur made another mess, but the girls were surprisingly neat with their slices.
River once again cleaned the baby up when they were done. The girls took Toby up to their room to play.
"I think it's about time you get to bed." River murmured to the baby. He made no complaints, reaching up to be held. She snuggled him close, carrying him upstairs. The Doctor stayed to do the dishes.
Arthur grew sleepy against River's chest. She hummed as she brought him up the stairs to tuck him into his crib. Tiber trotted in and jumped on a shelf to watch the two. She draped his blanket over him, giving him another kiss, "Goodnight my love."
He was too sleepy by that point to do anything more than babble back at her. She left to go back downstairs with the Doctor.
He was on his last dish when she came down.
"I'm sorry for leaving you with all the dishes." She murmured.
"I don't mind. Consider it another gift."
She leaned in to give him a kiss, "Thank you."
He accepted happily. "My pleasure. What did you want to talk to me about?"
She hesitated, "Let's go sit..." He nodded, placing his arm around her.
They walked into the living room, sitting on the couch. "So what's all this about?" He asked. Mr Thomas strolled in and hopped up in hopes for affection.
"Do...do you feel like something's missing?"
He frowned. "In what way? Did you lose something?"
"I don't know..." She whispered, "It feels like...someone's missing."
"One of our friends...?"
"No… Not like that."
"Well, then I'm not quite sure what you mean."
She bit her lip, not really knowing how to explain it, "I don't know, but today I just...felt like someone was missing, from our family.
"Well, when you put it that way... yeah."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Just today, though, a sort of... I don't know. A hole somewhere I can't place. I get that when a fixed point passes by or time shifts in someway. I didn't think it had anything to do with our family, though."
She nodded, feeling another wash of sadness that had become common for the day. He reached for her hand. "Hey, it doesn't necessarily mean something happened with us. You've got enough Gallifreyan in you to feel time like that, too."
"I know." She nodded, "But… I just feel like something's missing." She repeated herself since it was really the only words she could find to describe her feelings.
"Well... if you have an idea of what, then maybe we could find a way to put it back." He suggested.
She nodded slowly, having a bit of an idea, though she didn't know what he'd say to it. He scratched Mr Thomas' ears, earning a purr from the cat.
"How would you feel if..." She hesitated.
"What?" He urged gently.
"If we had another baby? Not necessarily now, but...soon."
He blinked at her for a moment or two, not having expected the question, but for some reason feeling certain about his answer. "I would feel just fine about that."
"I know we talked about it a bit, but that was almost a year ago and..." She paused, "Do you really think so?"
He shrugged. "I can't tell the future any more than you can, but I know we've handled a lot worse."
She nodded slowly, "I still have to think about it." She stared at the dark fireplace.
"I'm not in any rush." He watched her.
She nodded, leaning in to hug him tightly. He returned the gesture, hoping to chase away whatever was making her so unhappy.
She smiled weakly, "I love you. Thank you for making my birthday so special."
He smiled back. "I love you, too."
She pulled back, "Shall we go put the girls to bed?"
He nodded. "Yeah."
-x-
Summer for the Song family brought back their habit of regular outings and adventures. They saw the flowers of Veatir, went swimming in the rivers of Dacoe, and attended festivals on Buvoth every Saturday.
While the girls still saw some of their school friends, they also made connections on their adventures with young aliens their age, whom they insisted on seeing just as often.
Summer soon transitioned into Fall. The family was no less busy now that school was starting up again for the girls. While the weekdays were spent at the flat so the twins could attend school and human play dates, the weekends were reserved for visits to the homes of their alien friends.
In late October, the girls learned that Halloween was a bit more exciting when celebrated in America and insisted that they go there for the holiday and bring their Urscian friends. (They'd blend right in and perhaps even win a costume contest.) River agreed, helping the girls coordinate the trip with their friends' parents.
Amelia wanted to dress as a princess, while Freya wanted to be a pirate. Arthur had enough vocabulary to inform his parents that he wanted to be a puppy. Vastra was happy to help make costumes with them that week and was over at the house one night to help work on them.
With their aunt's help, the costumes turned out magnificently. The girls ran around the house in their new outfits, with Arthur stumbling after them, while Vastra and River sat in the living room. The Doctor brought them tea and sat on one of the adjacent chairs as the women chatted away about all each other had missed since they last met.
River had poured a glass of wine for her and her friend, though they happily accepted the tea alongside. Vastra had just finished explaining how Jenny was making a come back from her recent bout of flu.
"Well, we do hope she'll be fully recovered very soon." River smiled.
"We'll visit when she is. We wouldn't want any of you catching anything."
She nodded, "We'd love to see her. Don't you two have an anniversary coming up?"
"Oh yes." Vastra nodded excitedly. "Next month, but I've already taken the liberty of reserving our lodgings."
"Oh! Where are you going?"
"Just a private little place up in Hempstead." She replied. "A bit of a 'get away', as they say."
"It sounds wonderful. If you need anything, the Doctor and I will be happy to help."
"It won't be necessary." She smiled.
The kids made another run through the middle of the living room, squealing gleefully.
"Be careful!" River called, not wanting anyone to get hurt.
Scattered, "We are!"s echoed back at her.
Vastra chuckled. "Arthur's getting big."
River nodded, "He's been calling himself 'big brother' lately."
"Really? Well isn't that precious." Vastra murmured, though looked at River in wondering if it was true to any degree.
River smiled, "Not so true quite yet, but yes rather cute."
"'Quite yet?'"
River shrugged glancing at the Doctor. He smiled admiringly back. "Maybe someday soon." River's face was bright, happy at the thought.
"I'm sure that will be quite the adventure for you two. I'd love to help out if and when that day comes."
River nodded, "Thank you."
The kids made yet another pass through the living room, though this time plopped down on the rug with their faces flushed from running.
"Have you worn yourselves out?"
The girls nodded while Arthur stood and stumbled over to River. "Lap!"
She scooped him up, setting him on her lap, "What do you say to Auntie Vastra for making your costume?"
"Thank you!" He cheered.
"You're very welcome." Vastra smiled back at him.
He promptly stuck his thumb in his mouth, settling in his mother's arms. River held him close, kissing his forehead.
"Are you girls excited for Halloween tomorrow?" The Doctor asked.
The girls nodded enthusiastically, "We're going to have so much fun!"
"No eating all your sweets in one night, alright?" They nodded, though they didn't intend to keep that promise.
"Puppy," Arthur added.
River looked down at him, "Puppy?"
He held onto one of the dog ears stitched onto and hanging down from his hood. "Woof!"
She laughed softly, "Oh, I see. My baby puppy."
He made a few more barks before Amelia added. "He's the pirate puppy and he's our pet on our ship and he can sniff out treasure."
"Oh, I didn't realize he was a pirate puppy." River nodded.
"And I'm the captain!" Freya added.
"Yes, and you look to be a very fierce one at that." She beamed.
"All treasure will be mine!"
"Well, I hope you'll share with your shipmates!"
She gave it a good deal of thought. "Maybe."
"Good. Why don't you girls go change into your pajamas so you don't get your costumes dirty." They nodded and went upstairs.
"Annie!" Arthur pointed to his aunt, wanting her to help him with his costume.
"I don't mind putting him to bed." Vastra offered.
"Thank you, Vastra." River smiled, passing Arthur to her.
The boy immediately snuggled into her arms. She stood and headed upstairs, humming softly to the boy.
River sighed as she watched them walk up the stairs, turning to the Doctor. He looked back, still sipping his tea. "Something on your mind?"
She shrugged, "I've just been thinking...about a baby."
"A baby?" He looked attentive.
"Yes, a baby." She smiled.
"Like... having a baby? Another?"
"Yes, like having another baby." She laughed softly.
He grinned. "What made you feel ready?"
"I had a dream the other day and...it helped." She murmured.
"Will you tell me about the dream?" He asked.
She nodded, "Well, we had another baby, a little girl. And she was perfect and she made our family feel...complete."
"Well if that's a dream you want to chase I'd be happy to run with you." She smiled and nodded.
Vastra returned from upstairs. "The little one went right to sleep."
"Thank you." River smiled, nearly glowing.
Vastra could see that something was making the pair a notable key happier. "I ought to be heading home now."
"Alright, thank you again for making the costumes, they look wonderful."
"No problem. I hope you all have a lovely time tomorrow." She said.
The Doctor rose to go fly her home. River waved, going upstairs to put Amelia and Freya to bed.
The two were in their pajamas, though still bouncing about everywhere.
"Alright, alright settle down, it's time for bed."
They refused. "We want a story!"
"Okay, lay down and I'll tell you a story."
They hurried beneath their covers at the promise, quickly settling. "I wanna hear the one about when you became captain of that ship!"
River told the story as she tucked them in, sitting on the edge of Amelia's bed. It took them the whole story to grow sleepy enough to close their eyes, though they were just awake enough to say goodnight.
"Goodnight, my darlings," River whispered.
The Doctor had returned by that point, the TARDIS parked in a corner of his and River's room. River left the girls room, heading to their room.
Her husband was on the bed in his own pajamas, reading. She crept into the room, going to get changed. He looked up at the movement. "Girls asleep?"
She nodded, "Fast asleep."
He smiled softly, putting his book down on the nightstand. "Vastra says she wants to do Christmas at her house this year."
She turned to look at him, half dressed, "That would be nice."
He let his eyes linger over her as he nodded in agreement. "The Hub has too many buttons Arthur will want to press."
She nodded, smiling at his wandering eyes, "It's best that way"
"And you now how Jack lets hosting go to his head." He added.
She laughed, "He does take it a bit far."
She crawled into bed once dressed, sitting beside him.
"That's Jack for you."
She nodded, leaning down to kiss him. He hummed happily against her lips. She pulled back and smiled, "Girl or boy?"
"Huh?" He looked for clarification.
"Do you think we'll have a boy or girl?"
"Oh. Well, I'm not sure." He shrugged. "It doesn't matter to me."
"I know it doesn't." She smiled softly, "I was just curious."
"What do you think?" He asked back.
She shrugged, laying down, "I don't know. We'll have to wait and see."
He turned on his side to face her. "I take it you don't want it to be a surprise then?"
She shrugged, "I don't mind if it's a surprise. The only ever baby we waited to find out was," She hesitated, "William."
"I'd like to find out." He murmured, reaching out to tuck a stray curl behind her ear.
"Why?" She asked softly, leaning into his touch.
He shrugged. "I want to be able to pick a name sooner rather than later."
"Well, we could always just pick two names, one for a boy and one for a girl."
He nodded. "That's true. Although, there are a few steps in between now and then."
"Oh? Are there?" She teased, "Like what?"
"Such as making a baby to name." He chuckled.
"Oh, of course. That's the fun part." She giggled.
"The very fun part." He grinned, pulling her close.
