My apologies for the long wait between chapters. I hope this makes it worthwhile…


Beverly sat at her desk, waiting. Although it was far into the night now and the urge to sleep was a growing, gnawing irritation, she resolutely pushed it away. She'd completed Jean-Luc's neurographic scan and sent him to his quarters several hours previously, but there was no way she could sleep herself without knowing whether he was going to be…well, without knowing.

Finally her terminal beeped. The computer's analysis was complete.

Beverly drew in a deep breath, steeling herself, opened the file and began to review the data.

A few moments later she knew. Her breath caught and her eyes pooled with tears. One hand rose to her mouth, instinctively, viscerally, then slowly dropped to her chest. She pressed her communicator with shaking fingers.

"Crusher to Picard."

The response was instantaneous. "Picard here."

"You're fine, Jean-Luc. There's no sign of an abnormality. You're fine."

There was a long moment of silence, then: "Thank you, Doctor."

The words were calm, unruffled, but she could hear the relief in his voice as palpably as if she was standing right beside him. Her lips curled in an answering smile as relief welled up within her own chest. "You're very welcome. Crusher out."

Beverly leaned back again in her chair, feeling lightheaded, and reminded herself sternly to breathe.

Jean-Luc was not going to contract Irumodic Syndrome. The future that Q showed him wouldn't come to pass. And if not having her own ship or her own command was the toll the universe exacted in return, then it was a price she was more than happy to pay.

For the only future that she would find unbearable was one without the presence of Jean-Luc Picard in it.


The captain of the Enterprise was lost in thought when the announcer chime sounded. "Come."

The door slid open. Beverly, still clad in uniform and lab coat, strode purposefully across the ready room and halted before his desk, crossing her arms. She was not smiling. "I thought so."

His eyebrows rose. This was an unorthodox greeting even for his CMO. "I beg your pardon?"

"It's nearly 0300. You should be in bed."

Jean-Luc sighed and sat back in his chair, rolling some of the tension from his shoulders and giving her a reluctant nod. "You're right. But, well – I can't seem to stop thinking about the future Q showed me. I keep going back over various moments…trying to understand what led to the fates I saw. Deanna's death, Worf's estrangement…" His voice trailed off.

In truth he had been thinking about other things from that future scenario as well. Despite being as tired, drained, from the time travel as still he was, both physically and mentally – or perhaps because of it – he was unable to stop himself from dwelling on how his relationship with Beverly had played out in that timeline. That at some point, the two of them had finally acted on their long-buried feelings and taken concrete steps to be together.

He understood her fears about the risks of pursuing a romantic relationship – even shared them, to an extent. Where their opinions seemed to differ, in the aftermath of their Kesprytt experience, was in whether or not it was worthwhile to accept the risks regardless of those fears. In his mind there was no question: however their association might ultimately end – by divorce, or even by death – their time together would make the subsequent loss endurable.

Beverly, it seemed, didn't agree.

"But you know you don't have the neurologic defect," Beverly objected, sympathy in her warm blue eyes. "You already know that future isn't going to happen."

He nodded. Monumentally relieved on the one hand, yet still imbued with a vague sense of melancholy at the thought. "I know."

Beverly, characteristically, picked up on the slight deflation of his mood straight away. Her eyes narrowed as she shrewdly regarded his expression. "Does that bother you?"

"A little," he admitted.

Astonishment registered on Beverly's face. No doubt she had thought he'd be ecstatic that he had no reason to fear contracting Irumodic Syndrome. "Why?" she queried, eyebrows raised.

Because you came here and told me the news, and then you kissed me. Because we were married. He squeezed his eyes shut to banish the memories. He wouldn't – couldn't – think about them now.

"Jean-Luc?" She was gazing at him closely, a quizzical look on her face.

Perhaps it was the lateness of the hour, or perhaps the relief at being free of the abnormality had relaxed his normally iron self-control. But before his mind could stop his lips from forming the words he heard himself say, "We were married."

She gasped. "What?!"

"In the future Q showed me. And divorced," he forced himself to add in the interest of full disclosure. Now that it had spilled out she deserved to know the whole truth.

Beverly stood frozen, rooted to the spot in shock, staring at him as if he'd suddenly sprouted wings.

For once I've rendered her speechless, he noted almost abstractedly.

"Divorced – why?"

He shook his head in vexation. "I don't know. It was all quite confusing, between the abrupt jumps in time and the IS symptoms. The details were hazy. I know it had been some years since we…parted, and all I could remember clearly was that it had been a very difficult, painful time. For both of us." His eyes, calm now, met hers openly. "But I do know that even though we were divorced, the separation between us had been worth it for the time we'd spent together."

He watched her closely as he spoke the words, feeling a swift, fierce relief wash over him as she slowly nodded in response. She understood what he was trying to say – that the fact they had divorced hadn't meant that their marriage had been a mistake. That whatever happened to cause them to grow apart…unfathomable as it was…

"I can't imagine ever divorcing you." Once again the words slipped out before he could stop them.

Immediately Beverly's face closed and she swallowed uncomfortably and looked down, gazing at the carpeting between them with sudden and intense fascination.

Jean-Luc castigated himself for his second momentary loss of control. How had he let yet another charged remark like that slip past his defenses? He was just about to blame his lapse on lack of sleep, on his residual fatigue from the time travel, when she suddenly said quietly, without looking up, "I can't imagine divorcing you, either."

For a long moment the words hung in the air like smoke.

Beverly's head lifted and their eyes met. Locked.

Does that mean you've thought about it? Jean-Luc wondered as he held her steady gaze, his heart beating a shade faster than it had before. Our being a couple? Being – married?

He had. For years and years, ever since she'd joined the Enterprise at Farpoint Station and made it clear that she wanted him back in her life. He'd imagined it, dreamed about it, wanted it more than anything else in the universe. As he contemplated the tantalizing idea that Beverly might also have thought about their being together, he felt a smile stealing across his face that, tired as he was, he found he couldn't quite suppress.

An answering smile lifted Beverly's lips – warm, secretive, almost shy.

Jean-Luc rose and slowly rounded his desk. They hadn't come this close to acknowledging the deeper emotions between them since Kesprytt. And although there was much more to discuss, his instincts were telling him it was more important right now to show Beverly that his feelings for her hadn't changed. Hopefully without being so forward as to cause her to withdraw from him again.

Heart in his mouth, he stopped before her, emboldened when she didn't back away. Leaning in he pressed a deliberate, infinitely gentle kiss to her cheek. The momentary feel of her warm and creamy skin against his lips sent a thrill through them both.

They drew back, swaying slightly.

Beverly's clear blue eyes met his and Jean-Luc felt his breath catch in his throat. Her heart was right there in her gaze. And after having once been telepathically linked to her he knew wasn't mistaking the depths of emotion he saw within them.

Perhaps it was due to the lateness of the hour, or to her relief that he didn't face a future with IS. But this time, she wasn't pushing him away.

"Whenever you're ready, I'll be here," he murmured, his pulse racing, almost overcome by what she was silently but unequivocally choosing to communicate. She was finally willing to acknowledge that his feelings were reciprocated… His heart lifted, buoyed within him by the realization, until he almost felt as if he was floating.

Beverly nodded. "I just need a little more time," she replied in a near whisper.

He nodded in response, not trusting his voice, and watched in silence as she drifted towards the door, then paused and turned to gaze at him over her shoulder. The softness in her expression faded. "Now get some rest. That's an order."

Jean-Luc held up his hands in surrender, his smile wry. "Yes, sir."

She gave him a tiny smile, and reached up almost unconsciously to touch the place on her cheek where his lips had rested. "Goodnight, Jean-Luc."

"Goodnight." My love. I hope your dreams tonight will be as sweet as mine.

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