A/N: Hello everyone! Sorry it's been so long, but here I am at last with another chapter. :D I want to thank everyone who has reviewed, favorited, and followed this story. You guys are awesome! My sister pointed out last night when I was uploading the doc with the new chapter that I have exactly 100 followers for this little story. o_0 WOW! Thank you so much! I hope all 100 and all the anonymous readers enjoy this chapter.

We're coming to the end of the journey here with this technically being the last chapter with an epilogue to follow. It's written, and has been for a year, lol, and will be posted Saturday night. In the meantime, I hope ya'll enjoy this new chapter. And please forgive me for any mistakes as it is not beta'd like all the previous chapters.

Finally, I want to thank Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior who remains always my Savior even when I've fallen into temptation and sin; whose love remains even though I run away in shame. In a way I can relate to Bucky/Winter Soldier and how the realization of how awful, how selfish, cruel, and broken I am has me running from the One who can heal me rather than to Him. This chapter is therefore dedicated to all those who have done wrong, been wronged, and struggled in the aftermath to find healing. You are loved; you are forgiven. Call on the name of Jesus and He will make you new for He loves you more than you can imagine. Blessings and peace to you all!

Disclaimer: Not mine, just borrowing.

Onward-ho to the story!


My Mission: Part 6


As soon as Barnes was gone, Natasha and Sam raced over and knelt down next to Steve and checked him over quickly. There was fresh blood on the bandages over his stomach and the stab wound in his arm. Steve didn't seem to notice. His eyes were glazed, face pale, as he stared at nothing. It was the same look Natasha remembered from the van after Steve had ripped the Winter Soldier's mask off.

Barnes had said something to Steve after he'd caught him and pulled him back up on the roof. Natasha had been too far away to hear what, but whatever it was had an obvious impact on Steve. But he didn't seem capable of speaking and Natasha didn't push. Sam didn't either and her respect for the pararescuer went up another notch. Sam Wilson barely knew them, yet he had quickly become a stalwart friend and ally that Natasha felt she could trust.

Stark was fuming as he stomped over.

"What were you thinking Cap? That guy tried to kill you yesterday and nearly succeeded! And now he's gone."

The super-soldier didn't even blink. Steve was far away, in the past Natasha suspected, remembering the war. But Tony Stark wasn't a man to be deterred.

"Earth to Rogers! Hey Capsicile, answer me!"

"The Winter Soldier is Steve's old friend, Barnes." Natasha said, keeping her words cool and clip.

"What?" Stark sputtered, the anger defusing into confusion. "But—but he died in the war, right?"

"Apparently not," Sam said darkly. He was supporting Steve's weight, guiding the super-soldier back against the roof wall. Natasha looked at Tony. "The sooner we get him to New York the better."

"Right, yeah, uh Jarvis we need the jet."

"Already in route sir. Medical personnel are standing by at the Tower to receive Captain Rogers," came the crisp British reply. The AI continued, "ETA is seven minutes. There are medical supplies on board to tend to the Captain."

"Very good," Tony answered absently, staring at the edge of the rooftop where Barnes had disappeared.

The wait was passed in silence and when the jet landed, they remained quiet as the boarded. Sam and Natasha changed Steve's bandages while Tony sat in the pilot seat in the front, talking quietly with his A.I. No doubt to dig up everything about Barnes. Natasha doubted he'd find much. The Winter Soldier was a ghost and the likelihood of there being any digitalized files on him in the internet file dump from SHIELD were slim.

"Why don't you get some shut eye. I'll stay with him," Natasha said to Sam as the man yawned. He gave her a sheepish grin before agreeing. Once Sam was settled, Natasha stepped sat down on the edge of the emergency bed Steve lay on. His gaze was still far away.

Cautiously, Natasha reached out and gently gripped his hand. To her relief, Steve squeezed back and blinked, looking around for the first time and realizing where he was. Natasha wanted to say something, but the relief at seeing Steve return to himself swallowed her words.

Then Steve looked at Natasha squarely, his brilliant blue eyes arresting her full attention. "He remembered."

Her breath caught. Whatever the man had said on the roof, it had clearly been something only Barnes would say. Barnes had remembered. How much he remembered was unclear, but still. Natasha could hardly believe it on the riverbank, but now she felt something inside her respond to the silent joy in Steve's eyes. Barnes had remembered. Against all odds, despite everything he had done and had suffered at HYDRA's hands, Barnes remembered Steve enough to speak to his old friend like he used to.

A hint of a smile graced her lips and Natasha dipped her head. "Yeah, he did."

It did not change what Barnes had done, but it was something. Her words seemed to be the cue for Steve to relax, the tension and adrenaline that had been keeping him going finally fading away. He slumped back against the pillows, exhausted.

"But he left."

The words were so lost, so forlorn that Natasha's heart twisted. She would be the first to acknowledge she didn't know much about friendship and family except what Clint had taught her and more recently Steve himself. But she knew then and there that Steve Rogers needed Bucky Barnes, even broken and dark as he was. They had died to the world within days of each other back in World War II. And since awakening in the future, Natasha recognized that Steve had been going through the motions. Since he learned Bucky was alive, however, a fire had been lit in him, a defiance that before had been tempered by grief. And now Barnes was alive and the whole world had shifted on its axis.

She glanced up towards the front of the plane where Stark was piloting the plane. If Tony had been successful in killing him Natasha knew, beyond a doubt, they would have lost Steve completely. It was a possibility too horrible to contemplate.

Natasha squeezed Steve's hand. Steve looked up at her, the lost boy gone and the determined man back in his place. "I'll find him."

She nodded, not knowing what to say. Steve sank back, eyes drifting shut, too exhausted to realize how worried she was. Finding Barnes was only half the battle ahead. Seventy years in enemy hands was a long time. The damage to Barnes' mind alone was significant. Despite remembering Steve, the Winter Soldier remained extremely dangerous as the night's events proved. He would hurt Steve, intentionally or not. It made her stomach roil just thinking about it. But there was nothing for it. Natasha knew Steve would pursue Barnes regardless.

Perhaps she couldn't stop him, she mused, watching the sun rise through the plane window, but at least she could help him. When they landed in New York, she'd make some calls.


It was cold. Muddy. The tent seemed too small and too big at the same time. He didn't know where he was. Everything seemed…familiar, but it didn't look like it had a few hours ago. Even his clothes were different. They were an off shade of green and brown and worn out. The Soldier looked around in mounting confusion and fear. Where was he?

The tent flap pulled back and the Captain stepped inside.

"Go away Steve."

Huh? Who said that?

The Captain was studying him with intense blue eyes. "This can't go on, Bucky. You need sleep."

"No one's getting any sleep out here," answered the same voice from before. The Soldier blinked. Wait, was that…him speaking?

His shock went unnoticed as the Captain sighed and sat down next to him.

"I don't want to talk about it," the…Bucky said, sharply. He was afraid. No, the Soldier was afraid? He shook his head in frustration. What was this?

A memory.

A memory? No, it couldn't be. The Soldier didn't…but ever since he'd been assigned the wrong mission to kill the Captain he'd been seeing things. Things that could only be called memories from before. Like the Captain when he was very small and was reading a book to him…

The Captain, Steve, didn't seem surprised by his refusal. "I know you don't, but you need to," he said gently.

The Soldier and Bucky shook their heads together. Talk? The Soldier didn't even know what to say, he was so confused.

He blinked, startled when Steve pulled a small leatherbound book from his jacket. "And since you can't tell me, try writing it down."

"Steve—"

"Just try, Bucky. Please. I think it will help."

Hesitantly, Bucky and the Soldier reached out and took the book. "Okay."

The sad smile he received from Steve increased the ache in the Soldier's chest.

As he watched the smile began to crack, then the face, and then the tent. Fire exploded the image like glass and terrible screams echoed in his ears.

"Go. Get out of here!"

"No, not without you!"

"Bucky! Grab my hand!"

He screamed and his eyes snapped open as he fell. A wooden floor was under him a moment later and the Soldier lay there, whimpering and panting. He...he wasn't falling without end in someplace gray and white. Still, his heart raced and it was hard to breath. Where was he?

He forced his eyes to focus and take in his surroundings. He was in a white room with a bed, a dresser and night table. The panic was receding slowly and he sat up, confused. Where was he? He didn't remember much after the fight on the hospital roof with the Iron Man.

The Iron Man…Stark…

A different face appeared in his mind, older, but achingly familiar with dark hair and eyes. And then it was gray and covered in blood. More faces, male and female, young and old followed. All dead. By his hand. His stomach rebelled and he vomited. It hurt, everything hurt and it didn't stop even when the convulsions ended. What…what had he done? The Captain…Steve….Steve.

Exhausted, he crawled away from the disgusting puddle of bile towards to door. He was in an apartment. Then he saw the bullet holes in the walls. He had done that. He'd shot someone, killed them like he had the other man…like the soldiers when he was going to the Helicarrier on his handler's final faulty mission…

What had he done?

What had he done?

He howled, feeling like his insides were combusting as the realization of what had happened to him and what he had done hit.

And James Buchanan Barnes buried his face in his hands and wept.


Thank ya'll so much for reading! Please review and let me know what you think. :D

The epilogue will be posted this Saturday night. Til then, God bless!

-Noelani