set in 4x04 ( for the general timeline, since things are really changing, now )
Interesting stuff will hapen soon, I swear.
Not that this isn't interesting.
It is?


One world apart, part 6: Budding feeling

Damon helped Elena stack some boxes in the car trunk, wondering aloud what exactly the doppelganger and his brother had planned to do with those, when they were supposed to be going to Whitmore College for research.

Research, he emphasized.

"Shut it, Damon. Go back to moping somewhere else, somewhere where you won't be suggesting things about what my boyfriend and I do in our spare time!"

The older vampire frowned in mock hurt.

"And here I was helping you out before you two left! But I see you'd rather see me miserable, Elena. That's so mean of you. If you aren't careful, you'll end up like Katherine. Wait, see! You already got the fangs."

The younger vampire was about to retort something scathing, but Stefan got to it first and smacked his brother on the head.

"Don't listen to him, he drank almost all our alcohol in the last week."

Stefan and Damon glared at each other for a good ten seconds.

Then, turning to his girlfriend, the younger brother smiled softly. He hadn't wanted for her to become a vampire, to experience the thirst and the overwhelming emotions, but here they were. Since things weren't going to change just like that, Stefan'd better accept it. At least, he wouldn't be alone after Elena died of old age, since she wasn't going to die of old age at all.

The two of them were going to Whitmore College to investigate about the Five. Apparently Connor had been one special kind of hunter, and really, Damon couldn't care less. The only special kind of hunter he was interested in was dead, a true psycho at times, and haunting him, even if he didn't know about that last part. The older vampire had passed his turn to investigate this special breed of hunters. He had to take care of and teach how to fight properly to mini-special-hunter Jeremy, he had argued, even though he in fact simply couldn't bother.

Besides, it gave Stefan and Elena some time away from all the others. They needed it, with the latest changes in their lives, including blood-sucking and a lot of deaths.

So, Damon would stay in Mystic Falls, keep an eye on Van Helsing the Young, just in case the teenager suddenly felt the urge to murder all the vampires he would come across, a situation that would be most disagreable considering how some of Jeremy's friends were vampires. Stefan and Elena would go to Whitmore, try to learn one or two things from this Atticus Shane professor about the Five, as it was their best lead, if the not the only one. Klaus was the other lead, but it just so happened that Klaus was difficult to deal with. So Shane and his lessons really was their best lead.

The two needed some time alone, and Damon had understood that. Not that it mattered, for he wouldn't have wanted to go anyway.

Stefan gave his brother a stern look, which Damon only shrugged away. Both knew the carefree attitude was only a facade, but it was already something, for the older Salvatore to even bother faking hapiness.

It was something, even if it wasn't much.

"We'll be leaving in ten minutes. I just have to call Liz and tell her not to count on Damon if anything happens while we're away. She'd better ask Caroline, or even Tyler, to deal with it."

Exasperated, Damon almost shoved his brother in the car.

"Alright, we get it, I'm not reliable. No need to make such a fuss about it."

It was Elena who stopped their shenanigans, her hand grabbing Damon's. The youngest vampire of the group tried to say something, but her eyes met his, and something flickered in their shared gaze. It lasted more than necessary, and Stefan could very well see the tenderness that took over his brother's features for a time, before it was replaced by something else. Something that looked much like deep hurt.

The younger brother felt his heart clench as he remembered how they had first fought over the girl, before Damon had realized there was love to be found elsewhere than in a doppelganger of Katherine Pierce.

That is, once his brother had stopped pining after Katherine like crazy.

Now, Alaric was gone, and Stefan couldn't help but wonder...

After a time, Damon's face twisted in an odd way, and he jerked away.

"Right, Lovebirds. Don't stay up too late, don't kill anyone, or if you do, hide the body, and don't get high on blood. I know how colleges are."

Elena retorted dryly.

"I'm sure you do."

Damon forced a laugh, but it was pretty obvious it was just that: forced. Stefan couldn't tell why it was so, and it unnerved him. He didn't think his brother would get over Ric so quickly, but that was just the danger; when Damon grieved, he went completely overboard, be it with drinking, violence, or women. This time he had indulged only to the first vice, but that only made Stefan more worried.

Who knew if Damon wouldn't explode once they would all be convinced he had reined it in?

For now, Damon was obsessing over Alaric's death. What if he got enough of it, and that to try and appease the hurt, he went and redirected his obsession onto something else? Onto someone else?

There had been a time when Damon had gone after Elena.

Stefan tried to get his worries to shut up, but it wasn't working very well.

The older vampire tried to walk away, after a quick "bye", but his brother grabbed his sleeve.

"Wait a minute, Damon. Would you talk to me for a minute before we leave?"

Damon shot a glance at Elena, who was already seated in the car, before answering.

"Your gorgeous girlfriend is waiting for you, Stefan. If it was for me that she was waiting, I wouldn't be one to stall too much."

Of course, this wasn't helping Stefan's worries at all. In fact, it even turned them into something more: jealousy was starting to make itself known to the younger Salvatore.

Stefan dragged his older brother behind him, excusing himself to Elena for the wait. He hoped he was wrong, both for Damon and for himself, but he had to say it. He had to ask.

And he had to eventually be told that he was getting it all wrong.

He didn't want to consider the possibility that it could not be the eventual outcome.

He closed the door of the Gilbert house behind them, and finally let go of his brother.

Damon made a step away from Stefan, frowning at him in incomprehension.

"What was that!?"

Stefan glared at his brother, his hand on the handle of the door to keep him from just walking out and evade the subject.

"Leave Elena alone, Damon! She has enough problems without you harassing her."

Damon's eyes widened, before his facial expression darkened. He eventually let out dry laugh.

It wasn't false that he had felt something come back when he had crossed gazes with Elena. He wasn't going to deny it. After all, he had truly felt attracted to her, physically and mentally, at some point. His love for Alaric had killed off the budding feeling before it had grown into more, but it hadn't made him insensible.

He was so messed up right now, he knew exactly what Stefan was thinking about.

And the worst was that he couldn't tell his little brother that he had gotten it wrong, for it would be a lie, and lies weren't what was needed right now.

"I'm harassing her, really? You have nothing to fear, brother: all I see when I look at her, even if I'm glad she is alive, is that Alaric is dead because of her, because of Rebekah, because of Esther, because of Klaus, because of Esther again, because of the Petrova doppelgangers."

It was true, after all. Without the Petrova line, Esther wouldn't have been able to create the Originals, hence, no Klaus Mikaelson murdering people left and right, hence, no Esther trying to undo her creations and using Elena to create an even worse Original that of course had to be Ric, hence, no Rebekah killing Elena, thus, no history teacher dying because his life had been linked to the doppelganger's.

Obviously, Damon was aware that the girl had never asked to be who and what she was. He knew it wasn't her fault. He wasn't holding what had happened against her.

Still, it didn't change the fact that Ric was dead.

And each time he saw the face of the doppelganger, he couldn't not remember that it had been her blood that had made the hunter an Original, that it had been her death that had killed him.

"True, I have feelings for her that are coming back, or more accurately, that are bubbling out without my consent. But you don't have to worry, Stefan. Truly. Each time it tries to come out, it is crushed to death by the reminder of what I don't have anymore because of what Esther did with her blood."

Damon gave his brother a small smile, who looked relieved, in a way, even if he was definitely feeling bad about what had just transpired.

"Even if I wanted to get her, Brother, it would only hurt me more than it would feel good. I don't intend to. I'm already hurting enough like that."

Stefan let out a deep sigh, and his eyes flickered to his brother's, before looking elsewhere once again. He couldn't really face Damon just now.

"I'm sorry, Damon. Really sorry. I shouldn't have... Not when you're grieving..."

"Don't worry about it. I've done more than my share of being awful to you, during all those years, and all that for a bitch who didn't even care about me. You have the right to be angry with me from time to time."

Damon trailed off a bit, at the end of that sentence, his eyes wandering in the air, as if searching for something that wasn't here, a memory, a dream, maybe. A story in which he hadn't made a bastard of himself for more than a century.

But eventually, the older vampire locked eyes with his little brother, and this time, Stefan didn't avert his gaze.

"You have that right, not only because of all that I've put you through, but also because I haven't shown myself as someone you can trust. I don't even trust myself, sometimes, and you are right to be wary of me. All those years of evil deeds can't just be forgotten with something like one year, more or less, of redemption. I understand that. I don't blame you for thinking that way."

After what Damon frowned slightly.

"Though I expect you to start trusting me again before the next century, or I might lose patience."

Stefan snorted, opening the door again.

"I'll consider it if you stop flirting with my girlfriend."

"Damn, then you'll never trust me, I'm afraid. I flirt with all that breathe... and what doesn't, too."

The younger vampire rolled his eyes, and walked away.

Soon, Damon was watching the car leave, with the vampiric couple aboard. He hoped it would go well for them, considering Elena still had issues with controlling her thirst.

This trip to Whitmore College was in fact a test, as much as it was a quest for more information: they needed to know if Elena could control herself when amongst many people, and none of whom that she knew. Caroline had tutored the new vampire, after the incident at the memorial, and Stefan knew his stuff with not being good at control, always going from diet to slaughter, from slaughter to diet. Apparently it was getting better, after the latest Ripper episode.

Slowly, Damon made his way back to the boarding house, but with no special goal to achieve by doing that. Lately, he was living this way, like the undead vampire he was. With no goal or dream to achieve.

He let himself fall onto the couch, an arm above his eyes, keeping the light away.

"What am I doing, anyway? Falling back for Elena? Certainly not. Nothing could be worse."

He wasn't talking to anyone, but who cared? Certainly not him.

"What am I doing?"

In the armchair on the other side of the coffee table, a ghost was sitting, slightly irritated.

"That's what I'd want to know, Damon."

Silence was all that remained in the library of the boarding house, and that for several dozens of minutes. The ghost kept silent, alone, as always, on the Other Side. The vampire could have fallen asleep, even if nothing was less sure. He wasn't moving one inch, in any case.

Eventually the silence was broken by the ringing of Damon's cellphone.

The vampire took it out. He frowned when he saw the number. Maybe he'd better pick up, after all.

"Ariane. I hope you're well."

"Well on my way to Mystic Falls, if anything."