Rated M for Depiction of violent scenes and suicidal tendencies.
"Words"- Quotes or speech.
'Words' - Thoughts.
Words- Kyuubi's voice.
Disclaimer- I Do Not own Naruto, because if I did I would be able to die in peace. Everything you read from now on may not be canon. Credit goes to Mashahi Kishimoto for his amazing manga.
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Chapter 7: I Hate Shopping..
*Huff* I *Huff* Finally *Huff* got you. Naruto fell on the floor as soon as he said that, breaking the contact that his hand had made with Ino's shoulder a second ago to declare himself as the victor of the game. The gravity seals on Naruto's body slowed him down considerably, not to mention how much stress it put on his system. But then again, as the future Hokage he needed to improve his body and chakra systems, so the Gravity seals were absolutely necessary. Also that was the only way to keep his beloved tenant from forcing his reproductive organ to enlarge into a stick dick in front of Ino. Ibiki Morino once said in his lectures to a newly appointed student, "In times, information is worth more than lives." He found that quote extremely practical, since he was being blackmailed into the extreme depths of hell by Kurama everyday due to the information Kurama has about his weakness. He was still proud to this day about the information he gained by eavesdropping on a Konoha Shinobi such as Ibiki by masking his large chakra signature to the point where it wasn't visible unless someone tried to sense it.
Ino looked at him to see that he was completely exhausted on the floor, so she sat down right next to him. "So the future Hokage is already tired?" Then she saw the tattoos on his hands and gasped, they were gravity seals. Dammit, so he was underestimating her, but at least he won. He would have won by a huge margin if not for his gravity seals. She was about to praise Naruto when she spotted a pink head in her peripheral vision. "Sakura, so you finally managed to come? You know you are late by just an hour."
Sakura couldn't come up with an excuse on the fly even though she had such a large brain in her forehead. She thought it would not be appropriate to tell Ino that she had to put on makeup and take a detour around the Uchiha compound to accidentally meet Sasuke on her way to the playground. "I got lost in the path of life." Ino face palmed at that excuse, while a masked Sharingan bearer sneezed, almost letting his life, his icha icha book fall out of his hands. The look on Ino's face made it clear that she didn't buy that excuse, but before Sakura was about to dissect and explain her excuse her eyes landed on the figure that was lying just next to the sitting form of Ino. Her eyebrows crooked into an inverted V. "So you are still playing with that demon?"
Ino restrained herself from slapping her for calling Naruto a demon. If she hadn't restrained herself, she would have ended up slapping a lot more villagers that called Naruto a demon when they were playing. "Sakura, I think you are not familiar with him, but his name is Naruto, N-A-R-U-T-O." She spelled out all the letters in an attempt to signal her that if she says demon again by any chance then her hand might somehow touch her cheeks at a really fast speed. But Sakura's thick armored forehead prevented Ino's warning from leaking into the brain.
"If you play with the demon, then I'm not playing."
Naruto just sat there, not daring to take part in girly squabbles. He learned a lot about girls from movies, they tend to be avoided by male protagonists once every month, their minds are harder to decipher than Konoha's code language and even Zeus shouldn't dare to interfere in fights between girls. He wasn't really entertained by the squabble, since he knew how it ended last time, and the same thing would happen this time. But his prediction was proven wrong, since Ino put into action her hands, to deliver a supersonic slap to Sakura's face, which now lost a bit of fake blush makeup to gain a real red hue in the skin. "Don't you dare call him a demon."
Sakura slowly moved her hands to touch the spot on her face that Ino slapped. She was angry, shocked, embarrassed and mostly insulted by this. Last summer she did the same thing, Ino chose that demon boy over her. But this time it wasn't just the demon's reputation that made her hate him, it wasn't just her mom's berating of the boy that made her want to beat him up, this time the demon actually hit her Sasuke-Sama, and that was unforgivable.
"He means that much to you? Do you know what he did to Sasuke-kun? He punched him. And you still want to play with him?" Sakura didn't run off after getting slapped like she would have a few months ago she was getting stronger in her mind. After her 26th rejection from Sasuke, she matured in rejection tolerance.
"Maybe he did something to deserve getting punched. I know about every single rumor in Konoha, so I know what people like to gossip more. All of you tend to highlight more of Sasuke-kun's positives and never say anything bad about him. I could bet that you didn't even think of why Naruto beat him did you?"
"I know crystal clear! That de- , that boy punched Sasuke because he was trying to help a teacher from being beaten up."
"Oh but from what I heard he never even tried to help the teacher stand up or anything. He just started to fight with Naruto, and all of you just made up your imaginary superhero story with him fighting for justice. I'm not a fool, I may have been absent but I have every single details. After all I am going to be Konoha's Gossip Queen!" It was supposed to be a serious situation, almost mirroring the atmosphere of a murder case in a courtroom a few seconds ago. However Ino's overwhelming win, her declaration and Sakura's tears of defeat definitely ruined that atmosphere. Naruto on the other hand was standing nearby, with a really oddly stiff expression, almost as if he was constipating. He didn't really know much about mannerisms, so he was trying to maintain the facade of a seriously conflicted person, but deep inside his guts were trembling to spill out in laughter at the girl who just got destroyed. His situation wasn't helped much by the rising laughter of his tenant. "Yo brat, that Pinky noob got pawned by your Girl. It's even better than last time when she got roasted for her gigantic forehead."
Ino on the other hand tried to offer a helping hand to Sakura, but the girl refused. "Don't you like Sasuke-kun too? You think he will do something like that? He will hate you if you hang around that boy."
"I don't care if he hates me now. I hate him too." Naruto was about to jump in joy, he heard what he wanted. Finally something he wanted wasn't going to be Sasuke's belonging. Sasuke wouldn't have Ino's friendship. But his disappointment came harder due to his hope. " But I liked his past self, when he was nice to me, when all he cared about were for others. I will bring back his kind and caring side back again." Why did it always have to be Sasuke? Why does he have everything he doesn't? The world was always playing games with him. He just had a blank look on his face. Why did he even bother to be friends with Ino?
After a few minutes of simply staring into the ground, Naruto's attention was brought back to reality where Sakura just left and Ino had a worried look on her face. "You know Naruto, you are far too nice to them. You should do something when they say something bad to you!"
Naruto in a low tone said, "I just don't want them to hate me more."
Ino's eyebrows spiked up, "Alright, if you don't want to do it then don't." Naruto's shoulder slumped further. " I will do it for you. If anyone ever calls you something bad without any reason, I will spread rumors about them, after which they can not even show their faces in the village! I will not forgive anyone after they badmouth my future Hokage!"
The smile on Naruto's face assured her of her success. She exchanged her goodbyes and went of towards her home , not before telling him to come back tomorrow at the same time to play. Naruto watched her figure fade into the alley formed between the adjacent buildings in front of the gate. The smile definitely wasn't a fake, that graced his face this time. He found the answer to his question as to why he always wanted to be around Ino. When Ino said that she will take on anyone that badmouths him, he felt so happy, so warm inside his heart. The way she called him her future Hokage made him feel confident about himself. Maybe this is what having a family felt like, having someone who would stand up for you, someone to defend you, someone to praise you, someone to believe in your dream. She reminded him of the Third and how he cared for Naruto. The few good memories he has right now mostly involved Ino's contribution in his life. He wanted these few happy memories to become many in the future. This was the reason why he kept coming back to Ino.
'Ino, I don't know what you like about that Sasuke, but I will definitely show you that I am better than him.' He said to no one in particular as he looked at the orange sunset, which he saved to his memory as a reminder of his declaration that he would definitely follow through. Thus started his attraction to horrendous choice of clothing, all bearing the color orange.
"Oi Furball, let's go out and buy some clothes!" The nine tailed beast was pretty sure that his host wouldn't be kind enough to choose any respectable clothing for himself. But as long as it was orange he didn't mind, since his own fur was a dark reddish shade of orange. And also it would fit perfectly in his training routine. He was conflicted whether the benefits were worth the shame. But he consoled himself by quoting something from an anime he saw through the visual link with Naruto, "To obtain, something of equal value must be lost, that is Alchemy's first law of equivalent exchange."
The store was crowded with people, and it was way too easy for the shopkeeper to lose track of a 4 feet runt pacing through the alleys in the store, especially when none of the people around him would bother to acknowledge his existence. Naruto made it to the shinobi section to look for clothing. All of them were being sold at a reasonable price, but he knew he would have to pay five to six times as much. The Hokage's warnings were mostly ignored by the shopkeepers and Naruto's pleadings forced the Anbus not to report to the Hokage any 'minor' hostilities of the villagers towards Naruto.
He was going through a few sets of clothes, and his eyes finally landed on something. The fox was praying to The Sage of Six Paths to unseal him from the jinchuriki before he chooses that disaster of a clothing. An all orange jumpsuit with streaks of blue border that complimented his pupil's color. Severe trauma was brought upon the fox witnessing the abomination that his host set his eyes upon. Just as the fox feared, Naruto picked up the orange jumpsuit, and to the fox's dismay Naruto found two identical copies. He picked them up and headed towards the counter. The price should have been 500 ryo in total, now he only had to see what multiplicand the store owners would factor into his final bill.
"Get out of my store you filthy brat. How many times do I have to tell you not to come to my store?" The crooked eyebrows, bald head, thick lips and a small dot for a pupil, everything made the shopkeeper look like the generic villain in a manga. And as usual Naruto was thrown out of the store by the villain.
Naruto sat on the floor, his eyes shaped like two lines and a bead of sweat sliding down his cheek to indicate that his brain was doing some heavy workout. 'Dammit Furball, not this shit again.'
"Just tell the Hokage about what he did and watch him get beaten up you dumbass."
"That's the only reason I am not doing it. They already hate me, and if they get beaten up because of me they will hate me even more than before." The fox was quite impressed, he didn't think of that before. He thought Naruto wasn't telling the Hokage thinking about being a burden to the Hokage. But instead Naruto was trying to find a solution to pluck the root of the hatred, instead of countering what the hatred manifested through the villagers.
"So what are you going to do now? Get kicked out again? I bet that will make them love you."
'I guess that makes sense, I will just get kicked around if I try to go in. Dammit, if only they didn't know my face I could have gotten anything." As soon as he finished saying that, his eyes went wide, and if he could have seen Kurama he would have known that the fox had the same realization. They shouted out loud in unison "HENGE No JUTSU!" (Transformation Jutsu.)
2 hours later
Naruto was looking at the moon through his room's window. He was sitting down with a few leaves in his possession. He was holding the meditation pose, but what he doing was nowhere close to meditation. Taking a closer look one could see him trembling and shaking, almost as if he had liters of liquid in his bladder that he needed to expel but couldn't, due to someone else occupying the bathroom. The same was true for the 5 clones he had sitting in a circle around him. They all had the same faces, clothes and leaves hanging on their forehead. No it wasn't the leaf village headband that was on their foreheads, because Naruto didn't graduate from academy to be a shinobi yet. The leaves were real leaves picked up from trees nearby as part of his training. He had to use chakra to attach the leaf to his forehead, and slowly slide it down to his nose, his mouth and then pull it back up. It was one of the chakra control exercises mentioned in the book he bought with the Hokage. It was extremely advanced, but he needed it.
Naruto knew that he needed to improve his chakra control, but doing that over the last few months he got really sick of chakra control exercises. He didn't understand what it had to do with his Henge no Jutsu. "Oi Fuzzytails, if you are making me do this just to make me look stupid, then I'm going to beat your ass."
"Ahh young blood, can't think of anything other than asses all day."
"Oi, what does me being young have to do with thinking about ass?"
The fox facepalmed so hard, that even the fur on his paw couldn't cushion him from the pain. He remembered that no one gave him a talk about human reproduction yet, and he would never never in his thousand year long life try to educate Naruto about human biology. So he decided to just switch the topic to jutsus for now, "That doesn't matter much. Anyway, if you don't do these exercises you will not be able to master the Henge. To make the perfect henge, you need to pass chakra to every part of your body at a precise rate to change its appearance. So you will need extremely delicate chakra control, well not as much as regular Bunshins, but still your control needs to be impressive considering how much chakra you have. Also from tomorrow you will need to work on your observations of the human figure, and different appearances of people, because you will need to have a perfect visualization of the object you are trying to transform into. Tomorrow you will stare at people in your class and roads to see their facial features and bodily structures. If they think you are a creep, just tell them you like them. Anyway it will help to choose to stalk someone of your size and physique, because then you would not need to change your appearance too much to match theirs. Or you could try using that piece of shit of a Henge you made earlier."
Naruto kept nodding like a dedicated student throughout the whole lecture, and in the end his face went pale recalling the Henge he made. His first Henge was no less of a disaster than his life. He tried to transform into the Hokage, but he instead turned into a wrinkly blob of fat. He shook his head vigorously, hoping his memories would fly away with the sudden movement of his head. He looked up at his clones, and something felt odd. "Oi Furball! Why am I training with just 5 clones? I mean other times I train with hundreds, so why not do that? That would be faster."
"Yo shitty Gaki, do I have to explain everything to you?" He saw Naruto trying to think and come up with an answer to his own question, but in the end only managed to fail horribly and almost scuff out all of his blonde locks of hair. "Don't go bald at this age dammit. I'll tell you, since you can't even use most of your brain. Well, when you use Kage Bunshin, you split your chakra in smaller proportions, and the smaller the Chakra is the easier it is to control. So most of the time I make you create many clones to split your chakra, so that they get a feel of how to control their chakra with small reserves. But for something like Henge you need a decent amount of constant chakra supply, so you need to start with a good chakra supply to last long enough in the training. And also, it would be harder to control a larger supply of chakra, which might just be a good change in training method from what we did earlier."
"Oh I see, you actually have a good brain considering how small it is compared to the rest of your body. But can't I take off my training weights at least for now? I mean I have to put extra work into spreading my weight throughout my body all the time in order to not break the floor with the weight. I can concentrate much better if I take off the weight you know?"
"Don't take off the weight at any time. Your body should get used to dividing weight throughout the whole body, then even if you drop from a hill, or if someone puts a lot of weight on you, you can spread the impact of gravity throughout your body to reduce damage. It's also good to cushion you from any direct hits to the body." The boy nodded again, impressed by the knowledge and the perception of his sensei. But the fox's face didn't show pride in being admired. "Oh, by the way, I remember you saying something about my body and head not being in proportion? You know you are still going to school and the playground tomorrow. Ino is going there too, riiight?"
Naruto understood exactly what the fox was implying, Naruto's manhood always acted as his weakness when he would need defend his honor in front of Ino, since Kurama had control over some of his involuntary bodily functions, like erection. "Hai Kyuubi-sama, I will get right back to my training." Time kept flowing, as he saw the movement of the leaf around his face getting more fluid and less exhausting. By the time he could make two leaves circle and dance around his face without any sort of trouble, the golden light of the Rising Sun let him know that it was another one of his sleepless nights that went by.
Later in the academy
"Naruto who beat you up this time! Why are your eyes so black!" The scream screeched through the room's silence. Ino was getting ready to think of the possible ways to torture whoever did that to Naruto. But she facepalmed when she heard Naruto speaking.
"Sorry for worrying you Ino-chan. No one beat me up, I just didn't get any sleep last night, or in the last 48 hours, so my eyes are black." He understood what confused Ino. Afterall she wasn't the only one being confused by his black eyepatch. Something similar happened in the morning, which gave him a lot of trouble.
Flashback
Naruto finally succeeded in mastering his leaf controlling exercise in one night, at the expense of sleep which he dearly wished for. His droopy eyes closed down to a fine line, only to opened wider than before by the sound of the alarm clock. He just sat there for a while staring at the alarm clock, contemplating whether his dream of being the Hokage and getting to see Ino in academy was worth losing his sleep. The fox told him through his mind link to endure the pain, and move forward through the tides of difficulty to reach his dreams. A motivational speech as that, coming from the strongest tailed beast, only managed to motivate Naruto to wash his face and try to rethink his decision.
Naruto splashed some water on his face on the sink and looked up to gaze at his reflection in the mirror. The fox shared the visual link with Naruto and he saw the same thing as Naruto, but their interpretations were quite different. Naruto wasn't the only one really tired, since the fox also had to give him pointers throughout the whole training period. The excess fatigue in the Fox's mind made him almost hallucinate. As soon as he saw Naruto's face, the most striking feature he noticed were the dark patches on his eyes. Suddenly the fox shouted out , "We Finally Meet Again Shukaku! I will definitely kill you this time, you one tailed Raccoon!" That was all that Naruto heard through the mental link before, the area turned dark, the air became heavy and the glass cracked into million pieces. Naruto heard a loud thump in his room, but he didn't bother, since he had a much bigger problem to handle.
'Oi Furball! It's me, Naruto. Is your brain high on fur?'
The sound was really familiar, yes, only person called him furball, it must be Naruto. "Oi brat, I just saw the one tailed Raccoon, Shukaku, the one with the black patches on his eyes." Naruto had a deadpan expression on his face, and a proper interpretation of that expression would say, "What kind of drug is this Beast doing?" Indeed, a fox was supposed to be clever from what Naruto learned, and without drugs there was no way the mightiest of the foxes would be so dumb.
"It's just me, not a raccoon you dumbass. My eyes got those black patches because of the training you made me do."
The fox's eyes bulged out, realizing the simple truth. He tried to apologize, which Naruto accepted. Naruto headed into his room to get some clothes to clean up the mirror's residue. As soon as he entered the room, he saw the body of an Anbu laying flat on her face on the floor. The bubbles foaming out of her mouth indicated that she was a victim of the Kyuubi's killing intent which was meant for Shukaku. Naruto picked up the unconscious lady Anbu from the floor, and carried her bridal style, in order to put her on the bed. However, he picked her up while one of his hands were placed on the chest, that according to him was much bigger than Ino's. As soon as his hand pressed down on her chest to pick her up, she made a really weird noise, even though she was unconscious. His confusion was further increased by the fox that was rolling in laughter in his head. "Oi, why are you laughing?"
"No particular reason. Keep doing what you are doing."
He placed her on the bed and she still didn't wake up. "Furball, what do I do?" Unknown to him, he asked the worst source for help.
"You see that small pointy thing on top of the two round things on her chest? Just pinch it and pull it, not too hard."
"Alright, here it goes."
As soon as Naruto followed his instructions, the female Anbu let out a loud moan, which if heard by any adult male would have melted them. Naruto even more confused than before, picked her up and ran straight to the Hokage.
Few minutes later in the Hokage Tower
Naruto ran through the room, and placed the female Anbu on the desk. To answer the Hokage's question as to what happened, he told him that the Anbu went unconscious due to Kurama's killing intent at mistaking him for Shukaku.
"Thank you Naruto for bringing her here."
"Is she going to be okay? I mean whenever I do this to wake her up she makes weird noises. I think she's in pain." The Hokage was really confused as to what Naruto was talking about, until Naruto poked the female Anbu's nipple and she led out an extremely feminine moan. The Hokage and the Anbus nearby had their eyes bulging out to see what the boy did, and to whom he had done that. They resisted the urge to ask the boy to do it once more.
The Hokage had to act civil and restrained in front of his subordinates, so he decided to ask the boy, "And why exactly would you do that Naruto-kun?"
"Well when I picked her up, I accidentally pressed my hands on her chest, and she made those weird noise. I was worried, but the fox told me to just put her down and do it to that pointy thingy on her chest to wake her up. But she didn't wake up, she just kept making those weird noises. Is she okay?"
The Hokage was uncomfortably shaking. "Yup she is alright." He didn't want the topic to be pried upon anymore, but Naruto decided to ask why she made those noises. The Hokage gave up, he along with his Anbus led out a huge laughter, some were rolling on the floor, some holding the stomach to stop their guts from bursting out in their laughter. "He played you for a fool Naruto-kun, haha, you are so getting lectured by her later on. I wouldn't be surprised if she killed you in your sleep."
It wasn't the most comforting thing to have the Anbus, Hokage and the Fox laughing at the same time, while saying that he was most likely going to be killed in his sleep. Dammit, he needed to gain an upperhand over the fox someday.
Among all the laughter the female Anbu woke up. She looked around to see everyone in the Hokage's room. "Hokage sama, why is everyone laughing, and why am in such a vulgar position on this desk?"
"Ask Naruto-kun, he knows all about it."
Naruto started shaking. "Anbu-san, you fell unconscious in my room. I swear I didn't do it on purpose, but whenever I put my hands on your chest, you made a really weird noise. Even Hokage-jiji didn't tell me what was wrong, so I didn't know. So Please Don't Kill Me."
The female Anbu's rage that was visible in her eyes washed away as soon as she saw the puppy eyes of the boy. He didn't even know what he was doing. "It's alright, don't worry. But don't do it again, because next time you might not find your valuable asset when you go to take a bath you know." The shine in her eyes promised pain if he didn't listen to her. She then turned to the Hokage. "Hokage-sama, no one in these room encouraged whatever the boy did, did they?"
The strongest man in the village started stuttering all of a sudden, a woman's fury was indeed dangerous. "No of course not. I trained them after all, they would never do that."
"It is because you trained them that I fear they told him to do it."
The Hokage sweatdropped, no respect for him was present in the female population apparently. Deciding it was enough of his disrespect, he changed the topic, "So, Naruto I think it's time for your academy. See you later then Naruto-kun, do your best! And try to sleep some more in the future, it seems almost as if you put on eye makeup."
"Bye Hokage-Jiji."
The Hokage watched Naruto walk out of the room and head for his academy. 'It seems I might need Jiraiya to teach you the way of this world Naruto. No one can teach you better about this than the writer of the best porn magazine in the world! Jiraiya-kun makes me so proud to be his teacher.' The Hokage wiped a few drops of tears of pride, before looking down. 'But that sly bastard gets to peek on women, write novels and do research, while I just get to write my thoughts on these paperworks. The world is so unfair.'
Flashback end.
Naruto right now just wanted to fall asleep. But it was not going to happen, since the fox was just going to bother him till he wakes up again. The reason being that Naruto needed to observe and train. In order to learn the Henge no Jutsu, he would need to observe the features of students and people and objects around him, so that he could visualize the form he wants to obtain through the Henge. The only person he thought was worth observing at the cost of his sleep was Ino. But he didn't want to create an abomination of an Henge of the most beautiful person in his eyes. So now he was forced to look around him. He now needed to see the lazy Pineapple Haired boy, the boy with a dog and tattoos on his face, the boy with a hoodie covering his face, and of course the boy he hated the most, the one with Duckass hair. Well nothing could be done about it. He now needs to learn the Jutsu that he worked so hard for. He couldn't give up halfway through. Going back on the train of events, he remembered that he decided to learn the jutsu in order to shop for clothes. He already hated the shopkeepers and shopping. Now he hated the Jutsu because of the Shopping. The movies were right about it, only girls could shop for hours, it was not a pleasure for men like him.
He went back to staring at the students, not before saying, "I Hate Shopping."
Author's note: This chapter didn't have much action in it, but the significance of this chapter in the future will be explained more in details. Also, in the next chapter I will reintroduce the shinobi in Konoha to highlight how they differ from Konoha, and how my story will be affected due to their different characteristics. The training of observation for the Henge helped me to find a scope to show the Konoha shinobis once again. Stay tuned for the next chapter, when Naruto finally manages to master his Henge. He will definitely buy his orange jumpsuit, Dattebayo!
