Nero and Kyrie had been helping to clean up Fortuna and trying to restore it to its former glory. After everything that had happened Nero was more curious than ever about who his parents were and how he was connected to Sparda. He had asked around to see if anyone knew until one day he met someone with some information. The man had once been a member of the order. "I know some information," he told Nero.

"What do you know?" Nero asked hopefully.

"I met a strange man in a bar one day. He had white hair just like yours and a fancy blue coat. He was staying at a hotel and I asked him where he was from and if he was interested in joining the order. He declined my offer and said he was only staying for a short amount of time. I asked him his name, he said it was Vergil. It was about nine months after his visit that we discovered you. I'm sorry but that's all I know," the man said.

"Thank you," Nero said as the man left. Could that man have been my father? he wondered. Several days later, an older woman came to speak with him.

"I know who your mother was!" she said.

"Really? Please tell me," Nero said excitedly. I bet she was beautiful and my dad saved her from a demon and she fell in love with him! he thought.

"I knew her long ago. We were both prostitutes. She told me one day that she was pregnant. I asked if she knew which customer it was. She said it wasn't a customer. She had met a very handsome young man and she instantly fell in love. She offered him a drink at a bar and drugged him. Then she dragged him away and, well, you know..." the woman said. Nero stared blankly at her.

"You mean my mom was a hooker who raped my father?" he asked in horror.

"Yep," the woman said.


Several Days Later


There was a knock on the door of the Devil May Cry. "Enter," Dante said lazily. Kyrie walked in with a nervous look on her face.

"Erm, Mr. Dante, I need your help," she said.

"Mr.? Seriously? Just call me Dante," he said with a laugh.

"Oh, uh, okay. You see, Nero has been acting strange recently. He seems really depressed. Could you try to help him?" Kyrie asked.

"Why me? If you can't help him, then surely I can't," Dante said.

"Please, you're the only person I can turn to," she begged.

"Fine. I'll try to find out what's wrong," he said. She thanked him and then left. Sometime later Nero entered the Devil May Cry.

"Kyrie said you wanted to talk to me..." he muttered.

"What's up? Why're ya acting so depressed?" Dante asked. Nero stared at him for a moment then started crying. "Huh?" Dante said in surprise.

"My mom was a hooker who raped my dad who was some mysterious guy named Vergil that abandoned me!" he wailed.

"Hey! Vergil was my older twin bro!" Dante exclaimed.

"Then you're my uncle?" Nero asked. He then started crying harder.

"Hey! You should consider that good news!" Dante exclaimed. "Wait, a psycho fangirl raped Vergil? Why couldn't it have happened to me instead?" he whined.

"What's wrong with you!?" Nero exclaimed. Dante just shrugged. "Wait, do you know where Vergil is?" Nero asked.

"Yep, I killed him," Dante said.

"What!?"

"He was evil and power-hungry, I had no choice!"

"So, my mom raped my dad, who was evil, and then my uncle killed my dad?"

"Yep, that seems to be what happened," Dante said. "Oh, and remember that blond girl that dresses like a hooker who you kept staring at? Her name is Trish, and she looks just like your grandmother, who was ripped apart by demons."

"I thought my Grandma was hot..." Nero said slowly. He then puked.

"Hey! Now I'll have to clean that up!"


One Day Later


Kyrie stormed into the Devil May Cry. "What did you say to him!? He's almost suicidal now!" she yelled at Dante.

Huh, I didn't know she had a temper Dante thought. "I just told him the truth. If he can't handle it, then that's his problem," he said with a shrug.

"What did you tell him?" She demanded.

"Just that I killed his father and that I'm his uncle," Dante explained.

"You did what!? How could you!?" she exclaimed.

"His father was my evil twin, okay?" Dante said irritably.

"Oh, so you had no choice? I'm sorry. I guess it must have been hard for you to kill your brother. Now I see why Nero is so upset. He found out his father was evil and his mom was a hooker," she said sadly.

"Yeah, I feel sorry for the kid. But he seems like he's overreacting to me. I mean, he never even knew his parents. Nothing has changed. You still love him, right?" Dante asked.

"Of course," she said.

"See, what's there to complain about then? You don't think differently of him so he shouldn't think differently of himself," Dante said.

"Thank you! If I tell him that maybe he'll snap out of it. We were actually planning our marriage, you know. I want him to be happy for it," Kyrie said.

"That's great, I wish you guys lu- Oh, who am I kidding? I'm jealous..." Dante said grumpily.

"Jealous of what?" Kyrie asked.

"Him having a girlfriend! I never got one..." Dante said sulkily.

"I don't know why. You seem very nice, and wise," Kyrie said.

"Me? Wise?" Dante questioned skeptically. Kyrie just giggled and then left with a wave. That was weird... he thought.


Later That Day


Kyrie had managed to cheer Nero up a bit and he was just seeming like he was becoming his old self again when... "Nero! I know something else about your mother!" The woman from before yelled as she ran up to him as he was walking down the street.

"I don't want to know because it's not important," he said.

"No! It's very important! It turns out she had two other children shortly after you. They were both by another man, whom she had married after she got cleaned up. They were Creedo and Kyrie!" she exclaimed.

"What!?"

"Yes, so she's your half-sister. You mustn't marry her!" the woman said.


"Kyrie, we can't be together. I'm leaving you," Nero said.

"But why!? I thought you loved me!" Kyrie cried.

"I do, but you're my half-sister!" he sobbed.

"What!? But-I thought-You can't be right-" she stuttered.

"It's true. I'm leaving Fortuna forever now!" he wailed and then he ran away. Kyrie started crying.


There was a knock on the door of the Devil May Cry. "Come in," Dante said. Nero stumbled in. "Huh? What's wrong?"

"Kyrie's-hic-my-hic-half sister," Nero mumbled drunkenly.

"Well, that sucks. I guess you're not getting married then. Wait, does this mean she's available?"

"I'll kill-hic-you!" Nero yelled. Then he passed out.

Poor kid Dante thought. Lady walked into the Devil May Cry only to find the two most drunk men she had ever seen.

"What's going on here? Dante, you're a bad influence," she said when she saw Nero.

"Well, he found out that he can't marry Kyrie cause she's his half-sister and that his mother was a hooker who raped his father who was my evil twin," Dante said.

"So why are you drinking?" Lady asked.

"Cause his life sucks," Dante answered.

"Wait, what? What kind of reason is that?" Lady questioned.

"A bad one, but I don't care. It's an excuse to get drunk. Oh, and I'll never get a girlfriend, that sucks too," Dante said. Lady shook her head and then left.


Sometime Later


Lady had quit coming by the Devil May Cry because Nero and Dante were extremely drunk every time she visited. Trish made use of the fact that they were too drunk to notice her so she could steal Dante's devil arms and pawn them off. They used the money to buy more beer and pizza. Lady refused to lend anymore money to Dante. She said she would only help him if he sobered up. Because he was too busy drinking to take very many jobs, and they were running out of devil arms, the Devil May Cry was in terrible shape. The bathroom has strange molds and fungi growing in it. Dante's bed had so many beer bottles and pizza boxes in it that you could hardly see the actual bed. And the living room/office floor was a maze of beer bottles, pizza boxes, and broken pieces of furniture. As Trish had discovered, when Dante and Nero got too drunk, fights would often break out between them. So there was a large amount of dried blood about the place. Dante now had what he considered solid excuses for being drunk. He didn't have a girlfriend, he was constantly broke and in dept, and he decided that seeing as everyone in his family but his nephew were dead he had a sob story too. One day Trish had left to go sell off more devil arms while Dante and Nero were as close to sober as they ever got. Suddenly the door was knocked down, and a man came walking into the shop. "Are you my sons? Where is my dear wife Eva?" the man asked.

"Dad? Is that you?" Dante mumbled.

"Yes, my sons, it is! I can't believe how much you have grown! I must have taken a longer nap than I thought!" Sparda exclaimed.

"You're Sparda? I thought he was dead..." Nero said.

"No, I just took a nap. A long one apparently. But where is your mother?" Sparda asked. Just then Trish walked into the room. "There's my wife!" Sparda exclaimed. He grabbed her and kissed her. She looked stunned.

"You've gone too far, Dante!" she yelled. She smacked him across the face.

"Dante? Honey, I'm not your son, I'm your husband!" he exclaimed. She stared at him in surprise.

"You're Sparda?" she asked.

"Of course. I've missed you so much," he said. He attempted to hug her, but she quickly backed away. Dante was laughing at Sparda's confused expression.

"She's not Eva. Her name is Trish. She's a friend of mine," Dante explained.

"Where's Eva then?" Sparda asked. Dante stared at him for a moment.

"She's dead. And now that I think about it... It's your fault!" Dante growled. "If you had been there she wouldn't be dead!" he yelled.

"Wait, if you had been there Vergil wouldn't have turned evil and I would have parents... It's all your fault!" Nero yelled. Nero started using the Devil Bringer to pull miscellaneous objects to him and then throw them at Sparda. Dante had started grabbing empty beer bottles off the floor and breaking them over Sparda's head. Sparda was dodging and yelling,

"Please, my children, this isn't necessary! I'm sorry I left you but it wasn't my fault! I had to rest to replenish my power!" Dante then picked up a full beer bottle. Thinking it would be a waste of good beer to break it on Sparda's head, Dante drank it and then preceded to whack him with it. Nero started accidentally pulling full beers to himself and drinking them. After a little while of this, they were both so drunk that they were attacking each other as well. Normally, one would think a fight among the Legendary Dark Knight Sparada, his son, and his grandson would be an epic. However, this was no better than a bar fight. Lady walked through the door.

"You guys sober yet?" she asked. She gazed at the scene before her. Those three were still at it but now Trish was trying to steal devil arms while no one was paying attention. "I guess not," Lady said, quickly turning back around and leaving. Trish managed to get an armful while dodging flying chairs and such. She darted out the door and hopped on her motorcycle. Lady gave her a questioning look.

"It's the Sparda family reunion," Trish explained. Lady just nodded and then hopped on her bike and rode off.


A Half Hour Later


Dante and Nero had finally calmed down and Nero had accepted Sparda's apology. "I'm sorry, I wasn't myself back there. Now that I'm sober I'm actually glad you're here. At least now I have one grandparent," Nero said.

"There is no need to apologize. I can understand why you would be bitter," Sparda said sadly. Dante just glared at him.

"You didn't even know your other son was dead! You obviously didn't even care enough to remember what he looked like," Dante grumbled.

"I last saw you both when you were two years old! I couldn't have known he wasn't Vergil!" Sparda exclaimed.

"What about his comment about how Vergil wouldn't have turned evil?" Dante demanded.

"I was distracted because you were attacking me! Please, can't we get over these petty grudges?" Sparda begged.

"Dante, think of it this way. If he hadn't arrived, my life would have been a mess for who knows how long. Shouldn't you be thanking him for helping me, your nephew?" Nero said.

"Fine, but I still don't like you," Dante growled at Sparda. Sparda just sighed sadly. Patty, who had been listening in on the conversation, suddenly burst through the door and smacked Dante across the face.

"Huh!? What the hell was that for!?" Dante exclaimed.

"You idiot! I didn't hate my mom, and she left me of her own free will! Sparda couldn't help it!" she yelled.

"Fine! I forgive him okay?" Dante whined. She huffed and then turned to Sparda.

"You need a new wife," she announced.

"What? Why? I like my old one..." Sparda said.

"You seem depressed and your son isn't helping matters," she shot a glare at Dante as she said this, "a new wife could help you get over your sadness. I think you should start dating. I can set up blind dates for you and you tell me what you either liked or disliked about the girl! Okay?" Patty offered.

"Well... Dante, my son, what do you think about this?" Sparda asked.

"I think you shouldn't bother. After all, what if you have to take another nap? She'll likely be targeted and killed just like mom was," he said.

"Well, aren't you a little ray of sunshine?" Lady stated as she walked through the door.

"So you finally decided to visit again?" Dante said.

"Yeah, now that you're sober. You need to lay off your dad, Dante," she said.

"What right do you have to tell me that? You shot your dad! You put a whole freaking clip in his head!" he exclaimed. Patty gave Lady a frightened look.

"It's a long story, don't worry though, he deserved it. After all, he was trying to unleash the demons of hell upon the earth," Lady said.

"Well, I guess I'll go find you a girlfriend!" Patty chirped nervously as she darted out the door.

"Hey, Dante, can I still stay at your place?" Nero suddenly asked.

"Yeah. Why couldn't you?" Dante questioned.

"Well, I thought you might wanna let your dad stay here..." he trailed off.

"He's a super-powerful demon, surely he can find his own place to stay," Dante said mockingly.

"Are you ever gonna give it a rest?" Lady sighed. Dante ignored her.

"I can't just produce money..." Sparda muttered.

"Then get yourself a rich girlfriend," Dante snapped.

"Money and looks aren't everything," Sparda said.

"I don't need a lesson in morals from a demon!" Dante snarled.

"You accepted Trish," Sparda pointed out.

"She's different," Dante said.

"Why? Because she looks like your mother? I AM your father!" Sparda exclaimed.

"Really? Then where were you through my life?" Dante growled. Sparda stared at him.

"Well, this isn't awkward at all," Lady said. "Dante, this isn't a request, get over yourself. Your father is a lot better than mine! Just be glad you have one that doesn't want to kill you!" Lady barked. Dante looked stunned.

"Oh, erm, sorry. I guess you're right..." Dante muttered. "Fine, I'm sorry, Dad..." he muttered. Sparda smiled and patted him on the shoulder.

"Thank you, son," he said.


Meanwhile...


In heaven, Eva was happily watching the reunion of her family. At first, she had been very sad because of Dante's attitude toward his father. But now she was thrilled because they were finally getting along. She glanced over and saw, to her surprise, Vergil was watching the scene as well with a disgusted look on his face. "My little Verg! It's been so long!" she said as she hugged him.

"Get off! I'm not your little boy anymore. I'm a powerful warrior! Or at least I was... Before Dante killed me..." he grumbled.

"Well, you shouldn't have been misbehaving like that. It was your punishment for being a bad boy," Eva said.

"Dante's not exactly perfect either!" Vergil whined.

"He's been a hero! How many lives has he saved by now? You should have followed in his footsteps," Eva said.

"I'm the older brother so he should be following in mine! He was always your favorite..." Vergil pouted.

"I loved you equally, but you never saw that. You and your brother always loved each other, but you refused to admit it. You could have done great things together but now it's too late. I'm ashamed of you, Vergil," she scolded.

"I'm a powerful demon, what do I care if my mom accepts me?" Vergil growled.

"Half demon," she corrected. He just grumbled at her. "You should go down there and tell them you're sorry." Suddenly, Vergil got an idea.

"Fine, I'll go down there..." Eva missed the evil gleam in his eyes.


At the Devil May Cry


Dante was sleeping one night when he heard a voice in his head. Daaanteee! Daaanteee! It said.

"Huh? Who's there?" he muttered drowsily. He decided it must have been a dream and rolled over to go back to sleep.

Boo! A voice yelled. Dante fell off of his couch and looked around wide-eyed. Nobody was there. He slowly got back on and attempted to go back to sleep. The next morning Sparda and Nero noticed he was in an especially foul mood.

"What's up?" Nero asked.

"I barely slept at all cause some loud noise kept waking me up. None of you decided to pull a prank did you?" he asked suspiciously.

"Nah, I was sleeping like a dead man. Anyway, Sparda wouldn't do that, you just stopped being angry with him a few days ago," Nero said.

"Eh, whatever, but I want someone on guard duty tonight. If it starts again, I want you to find out what it was," Dante said.

"Hey, we gotta sleep too," Nero argued.

"Consider it payment for me letting you stay at my house," Dante said. Nero grumbled at him.

"So, what are we going to have for breakfast?" Sparda asked.

"The usual, some pizza and coffee," Dante said.

"Pizza? That's an odd choice for breakfast," Sparda said. Dante just shrugged.


Several Hours Later


"Do you just sit around all day or do either of you have jobs?" Sparda questioned.

"This is my job, the Devil May Cry. I wait for a call and then I kill some demons and get paid," Dante said.

"Though more often than not he has to pay for property damages," Nero said with a grin.

"Shut up. It's not my fault the demons won't just stay still and let me kill them," Dante growled.

"What about you Nero? Do you have a job or do you work for your uncle?" Sparda asked.

"Well, I used to help Kyrie clean up Fortuna but after... the incident, I've just helped Dante out on some jobs. We take turns sometimes," Nero said. Sparda looked sad.

"What?" Dante asked.

"It saddens me that you both haven't gotten to truly enjoy your human side. I wish you could have grown up like normal children, gone to college, and gotten a normal job," Sparda said.

"Hey, that's boring crap, this is much more fun," Dante said.

"Don't you want to make normal friends?" Sparda asked.

"I've got some in Fortuna," Nero said.

"But you have abandoned them. Shouldn't you visit them? I know it's hard for you to see her now, but isn't it better to love her as your sister than never see her again?" Sparda asked.

"I guess you're right. Fine, I'll leave tomorrow, I'm going back," Nero said in a determined voice.

"I'm proud of you. I wish my other son could have been like you. Strong, brave, and kind," Sparda said. Suddenly they heard an irritable voice say,

"I was plenty strong, and I was no coward!"

"Huh? Vergil, was that you?" Dante asked.

"Erm, no?" Vergil said.

"Hey! You were keeping me up last night!" Dante yelled.

"Yes, and it was fun. What are you going to do about it?" Vergil sneered.

"I'll exorcise your sorry butt! Anyway, what are you talking about strong? You got killed by me, mind-controlled by Mundus, and raped by a human girl!" Dante exclaimed. He felt something stomp hard on his foot. "Ow! You jerk!" Dante yelped in pain.

"Heh, take that. I can still hurt you though I can't do anything fatal, unfortunately," Vergil said.

"Is that you, my son? I've heard bad things about you. I am very disappointed," Sparda said.

"Why should I care?" Vergil said.

"Dad?" Nero whispered with a shocked look on his face.

"Shut up! You're no son of mine. Falling in love with some weak human woman, how pathetic," Vergil sneered.

"I'm pathetic? What about you? You were the one who got raped by a 'weak human women'," Nero jeered.

"Shut up!" Vergil snapped. Nero and Dante laughed. Dante got kicked.

"Ow! Why me? It was Nero who said it!" he exclaimed.

"Yeah but I'm haunting you so I can't do anything to anyone else. I can only appear to you, but the others can hear me if I wish for them too," Vergil said.

"Well that sucks," Dante grumbled. Nero laughed again. Dante just glared at him. "How long are you gonna haunt me? And will you bug me every night?" Dante demanded.

"Until I get bored. And yeah, I'm going to continue terrorizing you, that's why I'm here," Vergil said cheerfully. Dante grumbled a lot.

"By the way, what's for supper?" Sparda asked.

"Pizza," Dante answered.

"But we had that for lunch!" Sparda exclaimed.

"Don't dis the pizza. I'll have it whenever I want and you'll deal with it if you want to stay here," Dante growled.

"Fine, but I worry about your health," Sparda said.

"I'm half-demon! I can take some junk food!" Dante exclaimed. Nero laughed and nodded in agreement. Sparda just sighed and decided to quit the argument.


The Next Day


Dante was in an even fouler mood and Vergil now only annoyed him and didn't talk to anyone else. Lady and Trish didn't know about the haunting and just thought he had lost his mind because he kept yelling at thin air. This was all amusing to Nero and saddening to Sparda because he didn't like to see his sons fighting even after the death of one. "Hey, Mr. Sparda, I found you a date!" Patty said as she ran through the door.

"Really? Is she human or demon?" Sparda asked.

"Human, of course," Patty said. She led him off to go meet his date.

"I gotta see this," Dante said. So he, Nero, and Vergil's ghost followed Sparda to spy on him. They went to a restaurant and slipped inside after Sparda had entered. They all sat (except Vergil, who floated) at a nearby booth in a place where he couldn't see them but they could see him. Patty had left to give him privacy only to find them hiding.

"You aren't supposed to be here! Give him some privacy!" She snapped.

"Oh, come on, I deserve this. I haven't slept in two days," Dante said. She pouted but then sat down next to them.

"I'll keep an eye on you two and make sure you don't ruin his date," she said.

"You just wanna spy too," Dante said with a grin. She glared at him. They looked over to see how the date was going. Sparda sat down and stared in horror. Before him was the ugliest woman he had ever seen.

"My name is Brunhilda. Let's get married!" she said in a deep man like voice. Sparda burst into tears.

"I want my old wife! She was beautiful!" he sobbed. "First, I find out my grandchild and son are drunks. Then I discover my other son turned evil and died and my wife died too. Then it turns out my living son hates me. Now this little girl thinks you would make a fitting girlfriend for me!" This isn't worth it anymore! I'm going back to hell for a nice vacation!" Sparda wailed. Then there was a flash of smoke and he was gone. Dante, Nero, Patty, and Vergil all sat (and floated) in a stunned silence. Brunhilda burst into tears.


In Hell


"It's Sparda! We must kill him for his treachery!" a demon shouted. It hesitated as it saw that he was crying. "Erm, are you okay?" it asked.

"No!" he wailed. He then told it all of his problems. The demon patted him on the back.

"It'll be all right. You just stay here and soon you'll realize being a good guy doesn't give you anything but trouble," the demon said. Sparda just sobbed and thanked the demon for its attempts at comforting him. I'm just glad I didn't actually have to fight him the cowardly demon thought.