Ulquiorra woke to the sound of Orihime humming cheerfully as she fixed breakfast. That movie made all of the previous movies look intelligent and well thought out. I don't even want to think about what movies she will have me watch next... Ulquiorra thought with a sigh. He was just beginning to cook up an escape plan when Orihime walked into the room.

"You're awake! Now we can eat breakfast! I cooked it myself," she said cheerfully. He silently followed her into the kitchen and gazed in horror at the plate she set before him. It consisted of ketchup covered eggs, jelly bean filled biscuits, and sausages topped with ice cream. Ulquiorra glanced up to see Orihime eating her meal with gusto. He nearly gagged. "You should eat it while it's still fresh," she said.

"I'm sorry, but I am not hungry right now," he said quickly. She looked slightly disappointed.

"Oh well. I'll just eat your food too then," she said.

I can't live with this woman. I require food but I am afraid that if I eat anything she feeds me, I will die of food poisoning... Ulquiorra thought worriedly. Orihime noticed his concerned expression.

"You seem down. I know what will cheer you up! More movies!" she said cheerfully.

Someone, please save me Ulquiorra thought drearily.


Sometime in the Evening


Ulquiorra had seen more chick flicks in one day than any respectable male should see in his entire life. The good news was that Ulquiorra was now feeling a wider range of emotions. The bad news was that those emotions consisted of despair, desperation, and depression. Orihime noticed none of this. Just as he was trying to figure out how to drown himself in the tea Orihime had given him, he sensed a spiritual pressure. He shot up from where he was sitting and darted for the door faster than Orihime could blink. Huh, I guess he sensed that hollow he's been looking for. Hey! I know a way to help him! I can cheerlead for him while he's fighting, just like I used to for Kurosaki-kun! Orihime thought. She then darted out the door after him.


Sometime Later


Unfortunately, the spiritual pressure had belonged to a normal hollow instead of the one Ulquiorra was searching for. As he was fighting it, he heard someone yelling behind him. He glanced back to see Orihime shouting encouragements at him. "Give em' an uppercut!" she shouted.

I'm using a sword, not my firsts! he thought irritably. He cleaved the hollow's head in two and then turned to glare at Orihime. "If you must cheer for me, then at least use appropriate terms," he snapped.

"Oh. I'm sorry. I'll try to do better..." she apologized.

"I would prefer if you did not try at all," he said.

"I was only trying to help..." she said sadly. He didn't bother to reply. They returned to Orihime's house in silence, something Ulquiorra was very thankful for.


The Next Day


Orihime had once again started terrorizing him with movies, though thankfully they weren't chick flicks. She also spent the day trying to come up with better cheers. He spent the day wondering if he could sneak back into Ichigo's closet. The more Ulquiorra was around her, the more he grew suspicious of her behavior. She seemed overly familiar, as if they had met before. The way she acted reminded him of his fangirls at the academy. The memories made him shudder. Why me? Why couldn't she have kidnapped Grimmjow or Stark? he wondered. He decided to ask her. "Why have you taken such an interest in me? Why not Grimmjow or Stark?"

"Huh? Oh, um, I don't know. I just thought we could get along better," she lied.

"For some reason, I doubt the truthfulness of that statement," he responded.

"Well, I don't like Grimmjow's foul mouth and temper. Stark would make boring company because he sleeps all day," she said.

"Surely by now you have realized that Stark would make just as interesting company as myself. Well, perhaps a little less interesting."

"Does that mean you want me to trade you for Stark?" she asked.

Amazing, she actually caught on he thought dryly. "Yes, at least until you can judge who is a more interesting house guest," he said.

"Oh. Okay..." she said. I'll just spend a day or two with Stark and then I'll trade again she thought. Ulquiorra nearly sighed with relief. Later that day, they returned to Ichigo's house and traded, much to Ichigo's dismay.

Why did I just allow myself to be robbed of my only decent house guest? Ichigo wondered to himself as Orihime and Stark left. Ulquiorra, meanwhile, was feeling the closest thing to joy that he was capable of (which is to say, he was no longer feeling suicidal).


Two Days Later


Orihime could truthfully say that Stark was more boring than Ulquiorra. When she offered to watch a movie with him, he would accept, only to sleep through the whole thing. He did act more lively when she fed him, though. His eyes widened, he ran to the bathroom, and he spat the food out into the trashcan. Near the end of the second day, Orihime begged him to spend a little time with her without falling asleep. He grudgingly agreed, only because he figured he owed her that much for letting him stay at her house. "So, what do you want to do?" Stark asked Orihime.

"How about we watch a movie?" she asked. He nodded in agreement. She stuck in a movie, a new chick flick that she had just bought. It took everything in him not to whine through the whole movie, but he managed it. "Let's go for a walk!" she said as the credits rolled.

"Sure," Stark said, figuring this would be better than another movie. They walked through a nearby park. The moon was full and the whole park was lit by its light. It was a cold night, but not uncomfortably so. After they had walked for a few minutes, Stark noticed that Orihime seemed sad. "Is something wrong, Inou?" he asked.

"N-no! Nothing at all!" she lied.

"I figured you might want to tell me something when you said you wanted to walk. So tell me what's bothering you," he said. She sighed and sat down on a bench. He sat down beside her and patiently waited for her to speak.

"I've been trying really hard to get Ulquiorra-kun to open up a little, but nothing works," she said sadly.

"If it were possible to get that guy to open up, which I doubt it is, it would take much longer than a week or two," he pointed out.

"I know, but I feel like I have to try," she said.

"But why? Why do you care about him?" he asked.

"I can't explain it, especially not to you," Orihime said with another sigh.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, feeling somewhat insulted.

"I'm sorry, I just can't really talk about this to you, Grimmjow, or Ulquiorra. It could cause the three of you harm," she explained.

"I guess I'll take your word on it. Maybe the reason it's not working is that you're trying too hard. I'm not saying you should give up, just be a little patient," Stark said. Orihime thought for a moment and then smiled.

"You know, you're wiser than I thought," she said. Stark looked slightly surprised at the compliment.

"I'm not really wise, I'm just too lazy to get directly involved in anything. I prefer to observe, so I notice things a little faster than some people," he said.

"Well, you're wiser than me, that's for sure," she said. Then she stood up as if to walk again. He stood up as well. Suddenly, she hugged him. "Thanks so much, Stark-kun!" she said cheerfully.

"Er, it was nothing," he said awkwardly. She stopped hugging him and started walking again, only now with a spring in her step. Stark stood beside the bench for a moment, wearing a confused expression, then he resumed following her.