A/N: this is a work of fanfiction, I only own Thea.
Wallflower
By Leah Pensotti
Rick spent most of the evening reading about Henry VIII and dutifully woke Thea up every hour. She didn't have any more nightmares, but enjoyed the mundane pleasure of laying in bed with her.
Around three in the morning, she wandered into the bathroom and he could hear her throwing up. Thea declined his help, and rinsed her mouth out at the sink and then brushed her teeth. When she came back out, she was sporting her pajamas and a pony tail.
She looked pale, haunted and the slightest bit defeated. Her grey eyes looked at him curiously, mostly the boots on his feet and the book in his hands.
"You know you can take your shoes off and stay awhile."
Rick was happy to hear some humor in her voice and he smiled, "Still swimming?"
Thea shook her head and pulled back the covers before climbing in gently, "Yeah. Now there's this ear ringing, too. I don't know if I could sleep more than an hour at a time if I wanted to."
He unlaced his boots and kicked them to the floor, "You seem pretty...restless. Nightmares?"
"I wish."
He didn't know how to take her response, but knew that Daryl was right. She was holding something back.
She curled up in bed, facing him. There were so many things he wanted to ask...mostly about Seth and what had happened to scare her on the run. Rick shut the book and put it on the bedside to lay forehead to forehead with her.
"You hungry? Thirsty?"
Thea shook her head, "I'm okay right now. I think. Don't think sleep is better than awake...shouldn't you be at home with your kids?"
Rick shook his head, "Carol's got them. Michonne is also around."
She looked him dead in the eye, "Why did Daryl send you? Why didn't he come?"
Rick's first inclination was to wonder if that meant she'd rather Daryl be there with her instead of him...but he pushed it out of his head and decided to tell her the truth.
"Daryl thought maybe you'd tell me what really happened out there...since you weren't telling him."
She sighed and shut her eyes, "I've already told you all..."
Before he even knew he'd said it, Rick blurted out, "Who's Seth?"
Thea's calm features twisted in fear and she shook her head, "How did you...?"
He tried to reach out for her, but she moved away. It was clear the name Seth took her to a place she didn't want to be, "You said it...in your sleep. You screamed and woke up..."
She sat up out of bed and turned away from him, her arms hugging herself. All he could hear was Thea crying...making little gasps for air.
"He's...He's the man who assaulted me five years ago."
Rick sat up, confused, "Did you have some sort of flashback? Did tonight trigger something?"
Thea laughed bitterly, "You could say that, I guess."
He was beginning to lose his patience. Rick didn't want to push her, but he wanted her to speak more plainly, "Thea...I need to know...we need to know. These men could pose a very big threat to us. We need to be ready. I need you to tell me what happened tonight."
She turned around slowly, he eyes and nose red from crying. Thea looked like a ghost of herself, all of her resolve had gone, "He's one of them."
Rick shook his head, not following, "He who?"
"Seth. He's one of them. They're more dangerous than you could imagine."
Thea couldn't believe she told him; but her mind and voice had betrayed her in sleep. Rick's blue eyes confirmed that he understood because he looked shocked and murderous all at once.
"I thought he was dead."
She wiped more tears away, "So did I. He was serving twenty five in the state pen. Once the outbreak happened, I thought that place would've been a death trap. That he would've died. Figures the bastard fought his way out."
Rick stood up and immediately started pacing, "But you saw him. Tonight."
She nodded silently, and she watched his anger grow, "You don't have to be afraid of him Thea. Daryl and I will..."
"Will what? Go out looking for trouble to get my revenge? No. This is why I didn't tell you in the first place. If he knows I'm here...alive...I will be even more of a liability than I already am. You all will not go out looking for blood. If it's my revenge...then I will get it myself. I deserve that."
Rick stopped pacing and looked at her sadly, "You didn't tell Daryl because you knew..."
"I knew he'd go after him; right then and there. We can't lose him. Or you. I can't be responsible for that. If he went after him...me, Aaron, Glenn and Daryl would all be dead...or wish we were."
Rick's hands went to his hips and he hung his head. He had to know she was right.
"I need to tell Daryl."
Thea shook her head, "Not tonight. We can tell him tomorrow. He should hear it from me...but I don't want him to go out looking for something he isn't prepared for...this man, it terrifies me as to what he's been doing since society has crumbled. Who he has hurt...how...if there have been any women..."
She felt the bile rise up in her throat even thinking about it, "You need to promise me that you both won't look for him."
Rick shook his head, "But Thea...what if he...they find us? It will only be a matter of time."
Thea knew that was true. Sightings all around Alexandria, it wouldn't be too long before the motorcycles were at their gates.
"If anyone is going to kill him, Rick, it's going to be me."
Thea reached her hand out to him, offering him to take it and join her back in bed. She would tell Daryl why she didn't tell him...why she had told Rick. He deserved to hear that from her.
She was just trying to save him.
Rick took Thea's hand and crawled back in bed beside her, even though he was teeming with anger and he worried that it would soon boil over. It always did.
But here she was, offering her hand and the warmth of her body beside him. Thea had a hell of a night. No wonder she fainted. He could only imagine the fear of seeing someone who had physically assaulted you, broke your spirit and taken so much from you after all those years.
And yet, she only thought of protecting him...and Daryl. Rick knew his friend didn't open up to many, but when he did, he'd kill for them. You didn't fuck with his family. Rick and Thea would both have to try to reign him in, as if bridling a wild thing like Daryl Dixon was possible.
Rick pulled her to him, and he could feel her shaking with fear...or anger...or both. Thea rested her head against his chest and he couldn't help but smile.
"Rick...Daryl and I..."
He shook his head, "I don't care."
Thea looked up at him questioningly, "You don't?"
"I'm a big boy, darlin'. I know what I've gotten myself in to. I feel confident we'll have our time soon. Right now we just need to get some rest and figure out how in the hell to tell Daryl about this...monster...without him going all willy nilly with vengeance."
Thea sighed thickly, "Yeah. That's going to be tough...and thank you."
Rick cocked his head, "For what?"
"For being...patient. Giving this a shot...me, Daryl...everything. I know it's hard. I know it's confusing. I know you all are best friends. I never want to come between you. Top it all off I feel like the town trollop. I keep waiting for comments and judgement to roll in."
He tipped her chin up so she could look at him, "This is a new world. There's not too many rules anymore. As long as Daryl and I agree to it...it's no one else's business."
Thea closed the gap and kissed him, her lips soft and warm. He wished he could take it all further, but he remembered she had just sustained a moderate concussion mere hours before.
He wasn't lying when he said he didn't care about what she and Daryl had done; all that mattered to him is that he still had his chance...and that he would soon be on even ground with his friend.
Maybe it didn't matter if she "belonged" to either of them? Maybe she could belong to them both, in their own ways.
...maybe he was getting ahead of himself.
Daryl didn't sleep a wink. He spent most of the night sitting on Carol's back porch, wondering if Thea had talked to Rick. If so, why didn't she tell him? Did they sleep together? Had he dropped the ball sending Rick in his stead?
He knew Rick cared about her. He thought it was a good idea at the time.
Once sunrise came, Daryl tried not to seem to eager or worried as he walked from Carol's house to Thea's. He was surprised to see Rosita and Denise along with Rick sitting in the kitchen with Thea, who was drinking a cup of coffee.
She looked tired and pale and he could see the cuts and bruises from her fall. But her eyes lit up a little when she saw him lingering in the doorway and waved him in.
Daryl tried to hide the pleased smirk on his lips and opened the screen door and stepped inside.
"Didn't think ya'd be up this early."
Thea smiled, "Well, um, Denise came to look me over. Still concussed."
Rosita placed a kiss on the top of Thea's head, "I'll come by once my watch is over, T."
Thea nodded and said goodbye to Rosita, while Denise put her penlight back in her bag, "You need me, you know where to find me. You're doing better, but take it easy. No heavy..."
Denise got flustered and couldn't spit it out, "Lifting. No heavy lifting."
Daryl had a feeling she was going to say something else entirely. Denise looked embarrassed and gave a little wave on her way out, leaving the three of them to talk alone.
Thea offered Daryl some coffee and while she was pouring it he asked, "Feelin' okay?"
She shrugged lightly, "Didn't really sleep. I'm still sore and all. Head hurts."
Daryl noticed the look Rick gave Thea before she handed Daryl his mug. She swallowed hard and sighed, "I have...something I have to tell you, Daryl. And you'll be angry at me, but I want you to understand why..."
He almost dropped the mug and his heart leapt into his throat. This was it.
She had chosen Rick; it was written all over his face.
"Ya don't have ta say it. I knew ya'd chose him in the long run."
Thea exchanged a look with Rick and shook her head, walking closer to Daryl with her hand out to calm him, "Oh no...it's not about that. It's about last night."
Daryl almost felt relief. Almost. It made him happy he still had a shot, but a little disheartened that she had told Rick the truth before him.
Thea's hands shook a little bit and she spoke quietly, "I, uh, didn't tell you the real reason I fainted. I didn't want you to do anything...rash."
Daryl put his mug on the counter and crossed his arms over his chest. She looked scared, and he couldn't decide if she was scared of his reaction...or if it was what she had seen the night before.
"I, uh, recognized one of them Daryl. It was a man named Seth. He's the one...he's the man...who did...this to me."
She pointed at her hips and legs, and once the realization of what exactly she was saying hit him...he felt enraged.
"Ya mean ta tell me...that monster that kicked the livin' shit outta ya is alive and one of 'em?"
Daryl noticed that she didn't look at him, but nodded.
"Ya shoulda said somethin', Thea. I coulda ended it last night."
Rick sighed and shook his head, "She didn't tell you because she knew you'd lead with emotion, Daryl. She was protecting you, Aaron and Glenn. You all were outnumbered...and if his buddies are half as dangerous as him...we've gotta be careful."
Daryl felt his hands ball up into fists; he knew that there was truth in what Rick said. That he would've possibly gotten them into a whole heap of trouble. But that wasn't the point...she should've told him.
Fat, slow tears were running down Thea's pale cheeks. Her large, gray eyes were full of fear and he knew it was because she was worried that he would go after this man with a vengeance...make him pay for what he had done to her.
"I'm telling you now because...he can't know I'm here, Daryl. I'm even more of a liability...if he knows I'm alive...he'll come for me, I'm sure of it."
Daryl shook his head, "He ain't gonna do a goddamn thing ta ya. I won't let him."
"I know you won't...but I don't want you to go looking for him. Rick either. The both of you are way more valuable to our other survivors than me...and another thing...if I want revenge, I will get it for myself. Understand?"
He shook his head again and turned to Rick, "And yer okay with this? Hiding?"
Rick stood up and walked over to him, his hands on his hips in his familiar stance, "We don't got much of a choice, Daryl. At least not until we know what we are dealing with. We don't need to draw more attention to ourselves."
Daryl was livid and needed air, Thea and Rick agreeing on this made it hard for him to stomach. He wanted to murder that man with his bare hands, match every bone he broke of Thea's...but he knew deep down that Thea was trying to protect him; all of them and that he was impulsive and acted on emotion when it came to those he cared about.
Daryl Dixon had never felt anything akin to what he felt for Thea Graham...so God knows what he was capable of.
Thea spoke meekly, "I know you're upset with me..."
Daryl shook his head, "It ain't ya, Thea. But I need to take a walk. See how I feel later."
Without even looking at her, Daryl turned and hurried out the door. He saw Thea in his periphery, following him...the worry in her eyes. He couldn't stand it. He couldn't think about that man having free reign...being in the same world with Thea and her pale skin and prisoner to the body he broke.
Daryl wanted blood. Plain and simple.
A/N: Hello loves! I'm doing my best to keep plugging away. I have a few job interviews lined up next week so I'm very nervous/excited over that. Up next: Daryl talks to Carol, Rick and Thea have a moment, Michonne quizzes Rick and soon...a run in with you know who.
Thank you guys for all the lovely feedback! Please keep reading and reviewing! I love hearing from all of you and am so grateful for your readership!
Super special shout outs to:xenocanaan (Aw! Well, she does have questions when it comes to Rick, but they are getting closer. She and Daryl have something strong and unspoken, but the line she draws with looking for Seth is going to test him), angelicedg (Here's your answer! The trick will be to keep Daryl from going after him), stormrunner74 (Glad you like the Direction! I don't think Thea ever really entertained the thought that he could've survived the outbreak in the prison), KristinaSmiley (I'm so glad you are liking it! Please enjoy this chappie!), CLTex (Seth is quite the bummer in general, it will affect everything), RedScorpio (Thank you for the amazingly detailed review! I truly appreciate it! I won't prolong it :), Rumbling Frenzy (I haven't ruled it out ;), enchantmentanjel (Back and ready! Now I just need gainful employment!) and gillyflower34 (I'm glad to be back! thank you!).
Thanks and Love,
Leah P!
xoxo
