A/N: I know I said that 16 would be the last chapter, but I guess I sorta fibbed a little. The problem is that 16 was running super long and was no closer to completion, so I had to cut it off before it could get any bloody longer. Also, I mentioned possibly doing an epilogue, but I've decided that I'll just do a sequel instead. I have a metric ton of RL crap to take care of first, but I'll start work on the sequel as soon as I can. Last, but hardly least, now that I've finally more or less cured my computer of its ailments, I was able to finally do some proper editing for the previous chapters. It's hard to copy edit when your computer freezes every time you start to make progress. So, yay! Properly edited chapters! I'll post those at the same time as I'm posting this chapter.
Same disclaimer applies, I don't own FMA or any of the characters therein. Would be nice *sigh* but still not mine anymore than they were in the last chapter.
Chapter 16
When the Fit Hits the Shan
Roy woke to find that he was alone in his bed, which was not that unusual these days. Ed had been sleeping very little, so it would actually be more remarkable to find him in bed then out of bed, but it was still a bit lonely waking up without that extra warmth and the tangled pile of gold on the pillow beside him. It was a bit strange how quickly Roy had become accustomed to having Ed living with him. It was as if there had been a slot in his life which had been made specifically for Ed, making his assimilation into Roy's life completely natural, a perfect fit right from the start. Roy sighed forlornly then got up after a long stretch and went about his usual morning routine, keeping his ear perked for any sign of movement elsewhere in the house.
He half-expected to hear Ed in the library, since that was where he had been spending most of his time. He was still teaching and attending his classes, trying, like the rest of them, to give the appearance that nothing was going on. But he had taken a brief "medical leave" from the diner, same as Paninya, the two of them claiming they'd been in the same "accident". A note from Pinako claimed they had issues with their automail due to a minor accident and that they required time to recover under her care – must be nice having a doctor able to write you notes on a whim. With his lab still in shambles and no need to work in the diner, Ed was able to dedicate the bulk of his time to developing whatever mad and mysterious inventions he'd been cooking up for the rescue operation.
When Roy didn't hear anything in the library, even after his shower, he decided to peak in. He was a shocked to discover no sign of Ed. He wasn't in the library or in the parlor, or any of the other rooms in the house. It wasn't until Roy forced down his sudden panic and decided to finally make himself a cup of coffee that he saw the note on the fridge. The note was barely legible and raised as many questions as it answered. The main question was what in the world would Ed be doing with Riza and Jean at a firing range? A second, much neater, note claimed that Al had returned to Winry's place to get back to work on yet more of Ed's mad and mysterious creations – nothing unusual there, at least.
Since it was Wednesday, Ed didn't have class until the afternoon, so Roy wasn't worried about him being late. What he was concerned about was who was going to go with him to the lab. Normally, Ed and Al rode with him to the University because of the whole "traveling in packs" directive. Even just Ed on his own was plenty enough protection for anyone, but both brothers together could probably take on a tank. The reason Al went with them was so that he could play bodyguard for Ed while he was on campus – and also so that Ed could keep eyes on his baby brother for the sake of his piece of mind. Roy had his own little campus escort – or rather, he and his lab crew were able to be each other's escort. None of them went anywhere alone. Riza, Maes, and Jean worked out a sort of rotating schedule between them to follow each other to and from their classes and to Jean's football practices and workouts. Paninya and Winry escorted each other, since they were both engineering students. The labs had become a sort of safe zone on campus since there were usually plenty of witnesses, plus cameras and security guards. Ed had even gotten temporary access for Maes, Jean, and Riza in case they needed a place to retreat to in a pinch.
The front door opened, and Ed's voice called out, "Roy, you better not have left yet!"
"I'm in the kitchen," Roy called back, smirking to himself. Ed was so overprotective. Roy should have known the younger man would return in time to accompany him. Ed would never leave someone he cared about in a lurch. It ran counter to his entirely-too-selfless nature. When Ed walked into the kitchen, he plopped down in one of the chairs tiredly. He was shivering despite the obvious extra layers of clothes, so Roy immediately poured him a cup of coffee, adding sugar to it before handing it over. Ed accepted it gratefully and wrapped both hands around it like it was his last hope of life. Al entered a moment later and poured his own coffee before sitting across from his brother. "What have you been up to so early in the morning?" asked Roy.
"Just testing some stuff," replied Ed vaguely. "But we went out early so we could be back in time to ride with you to the school. We'll be hanging out in the labs with you and Winry today except for my classes."
"Cool, I know the rest of the team will be glad for your company," said Roy truthfully. The team adored Ed, and having him there always made the time go by faster.
"Only the team?" asked Ed pointedly as he got up and wrapped an arm around Roy's waist. Roy put his arms around Ed's slim waist in return and smiled down at his lover.
"I'm always pleased to have you around," he said in soft bedroom tones. "It's sort of a foregone conclusion."
"I see," said Ed, his voice smug but his eyes glazing over with the first hints of awakening lust. "I'll keep that in mind in the future."
"Get a room," said Al, exasperated. Ed just blushed brightly, chuckling as he pulled away. "Ed, why don't you go get your stuff together? If we leave early enough we can pick up breakfast from the diner on the way." The promise of a breakfast from Dante's was enough to light a fire under Ed who hurried upstairs to gather everything he needed for the day. "I'm really starting to worry about him. He just looks so . . . worn out."
"It won't be much longer now and things will hopefully go back to normal," Roy promised, trying to sound reassuring, though in truth, he was more than a little worried himself. "When this is all done, we'll gang up on him and force him to rest."
"I just hope he doesn't end up getting that rest in a hospital bed," said Al under his breath, and Roy suppressed a shudder as he desperately hoped Al's comment didn't turn out to be foreshadowing. Even the thought of Ed getting hurt twisted a knife in Roy's gut and made his heart pound harder in protest.
Roy got his own stuff together and poured three travel mugs worth of coffee, handing one to Al and carrying his and Ed's toward the front door. In the foyer, Ed held the coffees while Roy pulled on his coat and wrapped a scarf around his neck. As soon as he was fortified against the cold, he took back the coffees and followed the brothers out. When Roy got out to the driveway, he stopped and stared quizzically at Vanzilla who'd had something of a makeover since the last time he'd seen it. Roy hadn't really thought about the fact that he hadn't seen the monstrosity in the driveway over the last few days, nor had he thought much about the fact that they'd been riding in Roy's car to get to and from school, despite the fact that it was upsetting to Ed. Now, it made sense that he hadn't seen the van.
The outside had been painted light gray – just a primer coat, as if they planned to finish painting it in the near future. The back windows were covered by thick black fabric from the inside, the material pulled taut to block out all light, and the rearmost window were covered in a perforated film the same gray as the van so that it was possible to see out of the glass but not to see into the van. The front windows and the windshield were left alone – for obvious reasons – but a curtain stood between the back of the van and the front seat so that even looking in from the front, it would be impossible to see into the back seat. Roy's curiosity wasn't just piqued, it was propelled to all new heights of "what the fuck?!"
Ed and Al turned to peer at Roy then began snickering behind their hands at the look on his face. "Vanzilla needed an upgrade," Ed told him with a sly smile. He went around to the cargo doors and invited Roy to peek inside. "Once we give her the final coat of paint later, we'll have to keep her hidden so she won't be recognized. But, yeah, this will be our control tower for the rescue op. Isn't it super cool?"
Yeah, "super cool" was definitely an apt description. They'd gutted the inside, pulling out the seats and bolting four flat screen computer monitors side-by-side to the driver's side right above a long, narrow work table which had been bolted to the floor. Two stools had been bolted to the floor in front of the work table, with computer keyboards stuck to the surface of the table using what looked like strips of Velcro. On the passenger side, extra seats had been installed, but they were collapsible, the seats hinged so they could be lifted or lowered like the flight attendant's chairs in an airplane. Overhead, straps had been installed so that those sitting on the stools had something to hang onto when the van was in motion, and seatbelts could be seen dangling on either side of the three collapsible seats as well.
"Sweet baby Jesus, you really are spies," breathed Roy, and Ed let out a loud burst of laughter, echoed by his brother.
"Get in, we've gotta hustle if we want breakfast," said Ed as he ushered Roy toward the front seat then got in through the cargo doors. "Al can explain on the way."
"Teacher's friend, Mason, has a collision repair shop, and he's been helping us with the paintjob and hiding the van while we finished the interior," Al told him as they pulled out of the driveway. "Ed drew up the plans for all of this, Mr. Grumman provided us with the computer equipment, and me and Winry handled the bulk of the installation. The wiring for the electronic equipment is all Ed, though. He installed it so that the monitors and server will run off of the van's battery. It all hooks into our laptops and an external hard drive, and there's a power supply we can hook the laptops into so that we don't run the risk of one of them dying at exactly the wrong moment. We've also retrofit Sig's delivery van with some surprises, but this is going to be what Ed calls 'the control tower'."
"Next to you guys, McGuyver is a dumbass," said Roy, still in a bit of shock.
"The real bitch part of all this is going to be returning things to normal once all this shit blows over," said Ed grimly from the back, parting the curtain just enough to join the conversation. "But we needed some sort of mobile command center in order to pull off what I intend to do. I should be done with the last little bits of the equipment installation tonight."
"Granny and Winry are just about done with the last of the pieces you asked for. They should be done by tonight too," Al informed his brother, but then he frowned as if deeply concerned about something. "I'm still not happy about the power output issue, Brother. What if it creates too much of a burden for your central nervous system or – heaven forbid – for your heart?"
"I've already taken all of that into account, Al," Ed reassured his brother gently. "Come on, Al, I do have a degree in biomechanical engineering, and I didn't get it out of a Cracker Jack box. I think it's entirely possible that I know what I'm doing. Hell, I helped design my arm and leg in the first place! You worry too much, Al. I'll be fine."
"If you say so, Brother," said Al, sounding resigned, as if he wanted to have faith in his brother but knew better. Roy knew better too. Ed had little to no sense of self-preservation, especially if somebody else's safety hung in the balance. If somebody needed help, Ed would jump into the fire to help them every single time and never once notice the burn. That was what made him so fantastically, amazingly, maddeningly Ed. Those closest to him could only make peace with the fact and get really good at first aid.
They arrived at the university and walked into the laboratory building then went their separate ways, with Ed following Roy into his lab and Al heading down the hall to Winry's lab. Roy and Ed greeted Fuery who was the only one of Roy's team to have arrived so far. Breda and Falman may or may not be busy with Ed projects, so there was a chance they wouldn't arrive until later. Fuery was between Ed projects, so he was there at his usual time –bright and way too damn early.
Ed made himself at home at the worktable, quietly doing his schoolwork and grading papers after that. Eventually, Breda and Falman arrived, but Ed was so focused on his work that he didn't even twitch, likely not even noticing their arrival. Breda and Falman had gotten as used to seeing Ed in his "extreme focus" mode as Roy was, so they didn't bother to be offended by his lack of greeting. Ed didn't emerge from his focus until an alert tone sounded from his phone, and Ed stretched in his chair and started packing his stuff. "Time for class," he said to no one in particular. When he turned he jumped as if startled. "When did you two get here?"
Laughter erupted around the room, but Roy spoke up before Ed could get annoyed with them. "They've been here for almost an hour already."
"Oh," said Ed, chagrined. "Sorry, I was catching up on some stuff. Anyway, I've gotta run. Who're today's babysitters?" Breda and Roy raised their hands and got out of their chairs to follow Ed to the building where his lectures would be held. They left him once he was safely inside and returned to the lab. Normally, Al would just go with him and sit in the back of the class until he was done, but today Al was "babysitting" Winry, so Roy and crew would take up the slack and make sure he got where he needed to go for the day.
After a while Al, Winry, and Roy gathered to go pick up Ed for lunch, but Roy's team decided they wanted to tag along. When they reached the lecture hall, Ed was talking to the teacher, a very angry frown on Ed's face. Roy moved forward, wondering if perhaps he should intercede, but Al, as if sensing his thought process, put a hand on his shoulder to stop him. "That's Ed's thesis advisor, Professor Carter. You wouldn't have had him for any classes. He only teaches biochemistry related classes."
Finally, Ed ground out something through gritted teeth then turned on his heel and stomped toward his would-be escort. "Let's get the fuck out of here before I do something I'll regret," growled Ed, and they parted to let him through first then fell in behind him. Al and Roy left last, the two of them casting narrow-eyed scowls at the professor before following their friends out the door.
"Where are we going for lunch today?" asked Breda, doing his best to inject a cheerier mood.
"Pizza?" suggested Fuery, and after a general murmur of agreement, they walked the few blocks down the street to Jimmy's. As soon as Ed and Al walked through the doors, several members of the Jimmy's staff seemed to grow fearful, or at least resigned. Remembering the "Elric special", Roy couldn't blame the staff for being wary of the Elric brothers.
The prevailing attitude of the staff seemed to actually cheer Ed up a little, which relieved his escort. The dark aura of rage he'd been carrying around had been heavy enough to choke anybody that got too close to them. Though they were reluctant to restore Ed's fury, they were nonetheless curious what had caused such a mood. But they decided by silent consensus that it would be best to feed Ed first, since a well-fed Edward was a happy Edward. Thankfully, Ed and Al took pity on their trembling waitress and ordered one of the simpler pizzas on offer so they could share with Roy and Winry. Breda, Fuery, and Falman got their own pizza to share, and it wasn't long before they were all devouring hot-from-the-oven cheesy goodness.
"How is it you can do that?" asked Breda with no little wonder after watching Ed pretty much inhale a whole piece of pizza in a single bite. "I mean, I eat a lot – obviously." He put a hand on his gut and shook it a bit, earning himself a chuckle from the rest of them. "But if I tried to do something like that, I'd throw up, no lie."
"It's a mystery to me too," said Roy, leaning his chin on his hand and looking at his lover. "Is this just one of your many divine skills which we mortals can never hope to understand?
"Huh, I thought you, at least, would know, Roy," said Ed like he was thinking out loud. Then, in the marvelous way of the truly socially inept, a tone that never failed to make Ed sound like a complete innocent, Ed informed him, "I don't have a gag reflex, or not much of one anyway." Roy face-palmed and every man in earshot either gasped or gave a little whimper. No matter if they were straight or gay, those simple words were a siren's call no man could ignore – especially when those words were spoken by somebody as lovely and androgynous as Edward. He appealed to all the worst in males of any persuasion. Thinking back to their many adventures between the sheets, Roy had to admit that the lack of a proper gag reflex explained so much, and the more he thought about it, the redder Roy's face became. Ed placed Roy's soda a bit closer to hand, saying, "Drink that. You look like you just sprained something."
"Roy, I think I hate you just a little," said Breda with a mournful sigh. "And that worries me just a little."
Al sighed and hit his brother in the back of the head. "Ed, you'll never learn," said Al with a long-suffering sigh. "If it makes you feel any better Breda, Ed spent most of high school defending his virtue, and more than half of those creeps were straight – that includes students and teachers . . . and a few others I prefer not to think about."
"Yeah, so I'm a fucking pervert magnet, big fucking deal," grumbled Ed. "They made up a hefty fucking percentage of the fights I got into during high school. And I can't tell you how many times some jerk would try to kick my ass just to compensate up for his own wobbling sexuality."
"You would have had a lot easier time if you'd just been more discreet," said Al with another big sigh.
"Being discreet has got fuck-all to do with it," snorted Ed. "I didn't come out, I was outed. There's a huge difference. If that jackass had kept his fucking mouth shut, I would have been able to graduate with nobody being the fucking wiser. But no, he had to shoot his mouth off because I didn't want to touch him, let alone date him. I'd have rather dated a sea slug. And anyway, I shattered his jaw and broke out half his teeth for running his mouth, so now it's water under the bridge."
"And now I'm hating you a lot less," said Breda cheerfully – probably glad he wasn't sleeping with somebody who was capable of shattering someone's jaw. Ed just scoffed then went back to vacuuming pizza.
When the pizza was nothing but a happy memory, Al finally broached the topic they were all wondering about. "What did Carter want this time?"
"He's bitching about my fucking dissertation again," growled Ed angrily. "He knows about the break-in, and he knows it's not my fault I can't make any further progress right now. But he's demanding I come up with a way to get results before the end of the semester. There's no way in hell I can rebuild everything in my lab in that amount of time, and I can't achieve the results I need without that fucking machine. And even if I can get him off my ass for a while longer, the most I might be able to buy is another semester. I only have two classes left to take after this semester is over. Next semester, I'll be able to spend almost all my time in the lab working on my research. Really, I don't have any fucking clue why he's rushing me like this."
"Um, Ed, have you thought about the possibility he's in on the thing with Dirty Grabbenstein?" asked Roy uneasily.
"Nice one," snickered Ed, but then the implications set in and he grew instantly pensive.
"I mean, think about it," continued Roy. "Ouroboros steals your research, hoping to find clues to your father's research, but instead find brilliant biomedical research on the verge of breakthrough. For all that they're the big scary bad guy doing all the worst weapons research, they're also a successful corporation who dabbles in just about every field of science. It's possible that they want to use what they stole from you, but can't because they don't have your machine or expertise. So, they get some putz like Carter to force you to complete the research so they can swoop in and steal the results. Since they already have all the notes, they can claim the breakthrough for their own and there wouldn't be a thing you could do about it."
"That makes a really twisted sort of sense," said Ed, blanching. "Well, too bad for them I'll be taking their asses down long before it becomes an issue. And too bad for them I have well-documented proof that the research is entirely mine, and I already own the patent on the machine I used for it too. Even if their little fucking corporate spies snooping at Amestris somehow 'lose' all that documentation I gave Grumman and their university cronies destroy proof of my thesis, I keep back-ups on my secure server that they have no hope in hell of accessing. I also have rock-solid witnesses to back me up. I never lose a fight, and I never back down. I'm not someone they should have made an enemy out of."
"That's my Brother," said Al, grinning and patting his brother on the back. "Now, we need to get you back to school. You have a class to teach in a few minutes."
Little did they know that the hits hadn't yet quit coming. It was about time for Ed's class to be over, and Al and Roy were about to head over to the lecture hall when Al got a text message telling them that Ed had gone to his office. Something about that worried them both since Ed was supposed to have stayed put in the lecture hall until they got there. Either he'd walked over with somebody else – one of his students or another teacher – or something was wrong. Given the law of averages, Roy was pretty sure that the likelier scenario was that something had gone wrong.
In the science building, Al and Roy walked down the hallway toward Ed's office, but when they heard a loud crash from the direction they were already headed they took their heels. They burst through Ed's door to find him standing with his hair in disarray, his hunched shoulders tense, and his chest heaving. The look in his eyes was a mix of pure rage and the defiant glare of a cornered rat. His desk was overturned and it was clear from his posture that he had been the one to overturn it.
"Ed, love, what's going on?" asked Roy gently, he and Al approaching with the utmost caution.
"Close. The. Door," growled Ed, the words rumbling from deep in his chest. Roy reached behind him and immediately closed the door, locking it for good measure. Ed all but collapsed into his chair, leaning his head back and closing his eyes.
"Brother, what happened? I mean, we just got this place cleaned up," said Al, finally reaching his brother and putting a hand on his shoulder.
"That fucking piece of shit . . ." snarled Ed with overflowing hate. "He . . . he fucking threatened me! He . . . gaaah! I can hardly think of it let alone fucking say it!"
"Edward, take a deep breath," suggested Al, his vice slow and soothing. Ed took a deep breath in and let it out very slowly. "All right, now, Ed, tell us what happened."
"That old bastard was sitting in my class for the whole fucking thing, just watching me with this greasy fucking grin," began Ed, speaking very carefully, his tone tightly controlled. "After class, he waited until the students left then pulled me aside. He said . . ." Ed took a deep breath in and let it out as a snarl. "He said that if I don't go to his fucking house tonight and . . . entertain him, he'll see to it that they hurt our father."
"Mother fucker," hissed Roy, feeling dizzy with the sudden rush of raw rage and overwhelming sympathy.
"Brother," began Al, his voice all at once iron-hard and inarguable. "You are not going over there. Overblown sense of responsibility be damned, Dad wouldn't want you to go either and neither do I. Neither of us would ever ask that of you. And anyway, I seriously doubt that sleezeball has that much influence. He's a peon, nothing more. His only connection to Ouroboros is his dealings with Frank Archer, and that doesn't even have anything to do with what's happening with Dad. I know his threats caught you off guard, but if you think about it logically, you'll see that they're nothing but hot air."
"Are you sure?" asked Ed, clearly wanting to believe but not yet daring to. "Are you absolutely fucking sure? I won't have anybody – not even that no good asshole – hurt just to protect my nonexistent virtue."
"I'm sure Ed," said Al, letting his brother see the certainty in his eyes. "The dean is just a small man with delusions of grandeur. I don't even think anybody knows he made this move. There's no doubt in my mind he acted alone for the sake of his own sick interests."
Ed nodded slowly, deflating with a heavy sigh. "You're right, Al," he said at last. "This is nothing but a power play made by somebody who has none. And anyway, I recorded the whole thing. He made a big mistake approaching me on a day when I have to take classes. I had my mini-recorder in my pocket left over from my class earlier. Though I think I may have accidentally recorded over part of the lecture. It sucks because I hate borrowing notes from my fucking classmates."
Al and Roy let out a relieved laugh, Al shaking his head. "What am I going to do with you, Brother?" he asked rhetorically. "Come on, let's go back to the lab and get the rest of that data entered."
"But before that, seeing as you've had a wretched day, how about I spring for pastries and good coffee?" offered Roy, and Ed perked up immediately, his eyes shining at the prospect. Roy chuckled to himself and led the boys from the office.
Just because he was in the mood to be a nice guy, Roy also sprang for a box of donuts and coffee for the rest of his team. Needless to say he was greeted rather happily upon his return to the lab. Al stuck around instead of heading back to Winry, choosing instead to work side-by-side with his brother, helping to get the last of the new data entered more quickly. Eventually, however, they had to relocate because there simply wasn't enough room for everything they were working with. The boys went up to Ed's lab, Ed leaving Roy with a warm hug and a soft kiss, whispering to him before separating, "Thanks."
"You're always welcome," Roy replied quietly with a fond smile for his lover. Ed winked then joined his brother in the hallway so they could go upstairs together, leaving behind a chorus of "awwww" from the team.
In between phone calls to Grumman, Chris, Maes, and Riza letting them know about the dean's threats – they all marveled at Ed's forethought in recording the conversation – Roy worked on his own research. He hadn't had much time for his class work and research lately. He wasn't complaining, but as Ed had stated earlier, the end of the semester was swiftly approaching. He wasn't under quite the same amount of pressure as Ed to complete his dissertation, but he did still have deadlines for various phases of the research. If he didn't get back to it, he was going to end up having to request an extension. Maybe, once they were no longer in crisis management mode, Roy might be able to enlist a little of Ed's help. He wouldn't force it, of course. Ed already had a ridiculous workload as it was, but if he could even just offer them a little of his brilliant insight here and there, that'd probably be more than enough to help them meet their deadlines.
Roy's desk phone rang, and as he reached for the receiver he found himself hoping it wasn't yet another crisis. He finally manned up after the fourth ring and answered, "Mustang."
"Eureka!" exclaimed Ed without preamble.
"Oka~y," drawled Roy. "Do we need to take your coffee away again?"
Ed laughed far more enthusiastically than the quip called for, but he did, thankfully, explain. "Think less prank call, and more Archimedes reference – though there's no way in hell I'm running through the halls naked. Never mind, not the fucking point. The point is that we've hit the tipping point. We have a fucking location."
"Hell yeah! Good job!" cheered Roy, actually jumping up from his desk for a quick victory pose. "Do you have confirmation yet, or do you want me to get on that?"
"We worked a little magic and got confirmation," giggled Ed a little maniacally – meaning they'd done more of their "exploratory computing". "But definitely call in the troops. We need to get together at the house tonight for a war meeting. It's time we got this invasion under-fucking-way."
"Aye, aye, Captain," replied Roy, grinning ear-to-ear. "One war meeting coming right up!"
Later that night, they were all gathered in the parlor. Even Aunt Chris and Grumman were there, the two of them seated in the two most comfortable chairs in the room. Roy, Ed, and Al had grabbed every chair in the house and brought it down, but there were still people sitting on the floor. They'd also carried the white board down from the library, and Ed had borrowed one of the projectors from the university. It was a bit late at night, but Ed and Al still made sure that coffee was plentiful and that he'd fed everybody who was hungry. It was just their way of showing gratitude to their friends for the inconvenience they'd volunteered to put up with.
Once everyone was as comfortable as possible, Ed moved to stand at the "front" of the room – in other words, the place where the white board stood. "All right, let's get this show on the road," he said to get everyone's attention. "I'd like to start off by saying thanks again for everything you guys have done so far. You all put in a lot of work and a lot of long hours. Some of you practically put your whole lives on hold to help us. So, really, I can't thank you guys enough. But, now that we've got the sappy shit out of the way . . ." he paused while everyone laughed. "As you may or may not know, we've finally got enough data to be able determine the location where they're holding Hohenheim."
Ed paused again to let the full implications of this settle in their minds. It meant that the time for planning and preparing was over. It was now time for things to get serious – now the shit would really hit the fan. "It couldn't have come at a better time. Today the dean threatened me – or rather, he threatened Hohenheim if I didn't do what he wants. What he wants is fucking repugnant, so naturally I didn't comply. We believe he doesn't have the power to make good on his threats, but the possibility does exist that we've misjudged him, so it's more important than ever that we move quickly. Tomorrow morning – much, much earlier than I like – we'll begin to make our move.
"My plan is actually three-fold, since the problem at hand has three branches – Ouroboros, Hohenheim, the dean," Ed explained, turning and writing on the white board as headers the three things he listed. "The problem with the dean is the simplest of the three, and his ham-handed efforts to get in my pants have made it easier. I recorded him making his threats today. Plus I have the evidence of his embezzlement and a growing list of his conspirators for which I have damning evidence as well. That problem can now be handled by the appropriate authorities. I can even tie him to Archer, which will give us what we need to put him in jail for a while. However, none of this will be possible until Ouroboros is out of the picture. The chances are high that they'd let the dean swing, since he doesn't actually have any direct ties back to them. This whole embezzlement and coercion thing was only ever a side project for Archer, and not something initiated by or on behalf of the company. But it's better not to risk it, because it's also possible that Archer might try to call in a favor or two and get this thing quashed.
"So, first thing is to take care of the Hohenheim issue. Once we remove that leverage from them, I can take care of the second part of my plan, which will hamstring Ouroboros. The third part will bring to light university embezzlement issue, which will in turn take down the dean. The second and third parts won't require any help. The first part, I'll need quite a few of you. Here's how it's going to go down . . ." He stepped up to the white board again and began writing. "The first thing we need to worry about is securing the location." He pointed to where he had written "secure location" under Hohenheim's header on the board. "Ostensibly it's a warehouse owned by a one of Ouroboros' shell companies. However, underground are a series of laboratories and a large hollowed out area that looks like it's used for testing of some sort. Al, could you get the lights, please?" Al got up and turned out the lights, closing the curtains to block out the streetlights as well. Ed flipped the board over while Al took a second to flip on the projector, handing his brother the remote. With a click of the button, a picture showed up on the board showing a street view of what appeared to be a dilapidated warehouse. "It appears to be abandoned, but if you look closer," he clicked the remote again and a blurry close-up shot of the door came up, "You'll see that the security system is not only up-to-date but practically brand fucking new and state of the art. From what I've been able to gather, all of the outer door locks have numbered keypad locks with an 8-digit code and also actual key locks on the door itself. The interior locks are the real problem though. Don't get me wrong, if we go in at night then we'll have to worry about motion sensors and proximity alarms and floodlights, but during the day, all that shit will be disabled. So, during the day, first floor is a breeze and we can access the basement and sub basements through the fire doors leading off of the stairs. Once you get down to the second sub-level, locks become exponentially more annoying. We're talking thumb print identification, 8-digit numbered keypad, and a magnetic card reader."
"I assume you have a way to bypass all that," said Izumi, lifting one eyebrow in Ed's direction. Ed winced and nodded.
"I do, but only if you won't kick me for it later, Teacher," he said, taking a healthy step away from her. "I know how you get when I start taking apart security systems . . . again."
"In this case, it's allowable Edward," she said, rolling her eyes.
"All right then," said Ed, grinning with relief. "I've already cracked the 8-digit codes. That was actually the easy part. As for the thumb print identification, we can get that off of the actual thumb of one of the guard-thugs once we're below – I created a special putty to get a mold of the print, so, no we won't be cutting off anyone's thumbs or toting around unconscious guard-thugs. I anticipate needing to incapacitate a few people once we get below, and we can get the imprint and a key card from one of them. They have approximately six people on guard as far as I can see – two on the ground level, two on the door I think hides Hohenheim's accommodations, and two more to wander between floors. There may be more, but that's as close to an accurate count as I could manage without more time for reconnaissance.
"The next part is where it gets a bit tricky," said Ed, clicking the remote again. He went through a series of images displaying the halls and stairwell as well as the doors and labs. There were very few people occupying the labs aside from the guards, and all of those people wore white lab coats, meaning that they were most likely scientists. "Our mission here is not, in fact, extracting Hohenheim. What we will be doing is knocking out the guards, making sure Hohenheim is safe and untouchable, and then locking down the facility so we can gift wrap the whole lot of them for the cops to find. While we're doing all this, we'll be recording footage of whatever we find down there. The experiments they're conducting are illegal. Moreover, the fact that they have Hohenheim at all makes them guilty of kidnapping and wrongful imprisonment. With the footage we're going to take and Hohenheim's testimony, we should have enough leverage to force either the guard-thugs or the scientists to turn state's evidence on the company. And after what I plan to do to them, Ouroboros won't have the credibility to refute the charges."
"You've apparently put a lot of thought into this little plan of yours," said Chris, her mild expression giving way to a look of pleasant surprise.
"I haven't slept much, and when my hands are busy, my mind sort of wanders," replied Ed with a shrug. "I think you'll really appreciate the second part of the plan, but I'm afraid I can't share the details of that just yet. But after this is all over, we can discuss it over drinks." He offered her a wicked grin and a wink, making her laugh lightly. "Now, for this plan to work, I need Breda and Roy in the control tower, which will be our mobile command center. The monitors in the van will show different aspects of this caper. Two monitors will show the footage from the cameras we'll be wearing." He reached down into the box sitting next to the white board and held up what looked a plastic loop with a tiny flashlight attached. Ed handed it to Fuery, and it was passed around the room so they could all get a look. He explained to them that it was a camera, and the loop on the device was actually a plastic-wrapped thin strip of metal, the purpose of which was to wrap around the wearer's ear and adjust to fit snugly. A second device would attach to it to secure it in place, which appeared to be a thin adjustable microphone attached by a wire to an earpiece that would sit inside the ear and attach in turn to the camera, the whole assembly held in place by a Velcro strap that went around the throat. "Think of this as Bluetooth on steroids. The little box on the microphone is placed alongside the windpipe so that it can detect the vibrations in your throat from speech. This means that even the softest whisper will still be heard loud and clear. It's all wireless, of course, though that causes problems all on its own."
He heaved a huge sigh before returning the devices to the box. "Communicating with each other while we're in the labs won't be a problem. The problem is getting the signal out to the control tower. The reason it's a problem is because I intend to prevent all the bad guys' communications, essentially cutting them off from each other and from the outside world. So how do we cut them off without cutting ourselves off too? The answer is simple. I'll be stealing all nearby cell towers and blocking all incoming and outgoing satellite signals for this zone." He clicked the remote again so that a Google Earth shot of the neighborhood around the warehouse came up, a red line marking off a specific area within the neighborhood. "The only signals passing through will be those I've granted permission to – ours, in other words. There'll be a lot of pissed off people, but it'll only affect a small area and it'll only last for about 30 minutes, which is more than enough time to do what we need to do.
"Fuery, you and Al will be manning Emma, and Al will explain to you what needs to happen. You helped build some of her components, so you're the best man for the job. You'll do your thing as soon as we're clear of the building, and not a moment before. The control tower can let you know when. The other two monitors in the control tower will be tapped into the facility's security cameras. Also, my laptop will have a blueprint of the structure and the 3D model of the building overlaid on thermal imaging to display people we on the ground may not be able to see until it's too late. On the ground will be me, Jean, Izumi, Sig, and Paninya. Riza, you'll hide out on the first floor with a tranquilizer gun. Tranq guns aren't known for their accuracy, so I'm counting on your marksmanship to compensate for that. Anybody trying to get out will have to pass through the main warehouse on the first floor. Take 'em out and make sure nobody walks out those doors that isn't us." Riza nodded, a hint of pride glinting in her steely eyes. "Paninya, Izumi, and I are all close in fighters so we'll be in the front, Jean and Sig are good enough with distance weapons that they'll take the rear. Obviously, we can't use live rounds, but I've made some toys for you that should get the job done."
He handed over a box of what looked like bullets until they were pulled out for a closer look. "These bullets won't penetrate the skin. They'll cause a wicked bruise, but that's it. However, the trick is that these bad boys break on impact. Inside is an ionized liquid holding a powerful electric charge. It's not strong enough to do serious damage, but it's strong enough to stun somebody after which the close fighters can knock 'em out."
"All hail the Science God," breathed Breda, stunned without needing to get by one of the bullets. "You are probably the scariest person alive, you know that right?"
Ed all but howled with laughter. "I guess you have a point," he said breathlessly, his eyes twinkling. "But sometimes you have to be scary when you're going against scary people, and believe me these people are about as scary as you can get. Speaking of scary people, Al's laptop will also be in the control tower and will give you access to a rundown of the people we'll be facing in the facility. They're all fed into the reenactment model, so if we need a change of plan or route in order to get around these jackholes, you guys will be able to give us the skinny at the drop of a dime. Al, can you turn the lights back on, please?" Al did so while Ed turned off the projector then flipped the white board over again. He wrote out a simplified list of each step of the operation under the Hohenheim header. "So, first step, secure the location – meaning we cut off communications, knock out the guards, deny access to Hohenheim, and lock down the facility.
"The next bit is where Hughes comes in," Ed turned and pointed his marker at Maes. "Detectives Murry and Roach are already aware of the operation – or rather, I told them what they needed to know so they'd be poised to make the arrest, but not enough that we'll be arrested too. Hughes, you'll be meeting with them at a pre-arranged location to deliver the evidence. Afterwards, you'll direct them to our location then lay low until we give you the all clear. The second part of my plan will go into effect as soon as Hohenheim is in protective custody. Old geezer, have the arrangements been made according to my instructions?"
"Everything is exactly as you requested," Grumman assured him with an impish sort of smile. "I know better than to question our resident genius."
"Awesome. I don't know what I'd do without you old man," said the resident genius with a warm smile of gratitude. "Hughes, if anything goes wrong with the meeting or with the evidence, I've copied every fucking piece of this crap in triplicate and hidden the other copies. Falman will tail you to make sure that there aren't any party crashers. I've made some toys for you two as well, to keep you safe. And while we're on the subject of safety," Ed reached into the box and pulled out what looked a shirt or vest of some sort. "We're going in loaded for bear. These vests are made of metal alloy molded into what amounts to tiny overlapping plates about a centimeter in diameter each then set into a heavy-duty polymer and bonded to the fabric. Actually these plates are made of the same proprietary alloy that Winry and I created for my arm and leg. So, it's lightweight and can stop all but armor piercing rounds. We tested these vests at the firing range, so I know they work. There'll also be leg and arm plates to protect as many vital areas as possible."
"Is there anything you didn't think of?" asked Paninya in blatant wonder.
"Probably quite a few things," said Ed uneasily. "But I wasn't about to repay you guys by letting you get hurt or killed helping us out. If anything happens to you guys I'll never forgive myself. I can't cover every contingency, but dammit I'll do everything I possibly can to keep you guys safe. Let me make this clear. Nobody gets hurt. If things get too hot, get the hell out. I've got multiple escape routes mapped out, and I'll make sure you know them too. Grumman even arranged a safe house for us in case it all goes sideways. So, please, please, be safe and don't do anything stupid. All right?" They could all only nod to that, moved by his determination to protect them. "Good. Now, go get some rest, we'll call you in the morning to tell you where to meet. Tomorrow starts really fucking early, so sleep while you can.
