Chapter 4
Kim woke up after not enough sleep. Grumbling, she got out of bed anyway. When the events of yesterday sprung back to her mind, she felt a sinking sensation in her stomach. She was not looking forwards to seeing her mother. She considered skipping breakfast, but she'd need to face the music sooner or later. She put on slippers and resignedly made her way downstairs. Since she didn't have to dodge a stray rocket on exiting her room, she concluded her younger brothers were already at the breakfast table.
"Good morning, Kimmie-cub," Dr. Possible said from behind his newspaper. "How was the stakeout?"
Kim shot a look at her mother baking pancakes. Her expression was carefully neutral.
"Pretty much as expected, Dad," Kim said, sliding to her seat.
"You know, in my day young girls didn't spend their Friday nights in wait of criminals, they instead... well... actually, stakeouts are an excellent hobby for a young woman. Do you have a mission planned for the next weekend?"
Kim cast another quick glance at her mother. "Not yet. I'll have to see if I'll even have the time."
"Have some pancakes, Kim. If you have no plans, there's some chores I've been meaning to ask your help with."
"Sure. I'd be glad to help," Kim said, not managing to sound like she meant it. It didn't sound too bad, though. If she survived with just some extra chores, she'd be happy.
"Can you make her clean the lab?" Tim said.
"Someone has made a mess of it." Jim said.
"Boys, didn't I tell you that I wanted to use the lab this weekend?" Dr. Possible said.
"Uh-oh, I just remembered we promised to..." Jim said.
"Meet Tommy this morning," Tim said.
"Got to go," the twins chorused and bolted from their seats, leaving their plates on the table.
The rest of the breakfast passed in silence. Kim asked to be excused, put her and her brothers' plates in the sink and escaped up to her room. She dressed up in casual clothes, since she apparently wasn't going anywhere today. Then she remembered that Wade had tried to contact her and retrieved her Kimmunicator.
"Hi, Wade," Kim greeted the younger teen who looked like he had been installed in front of his computer desk for some time already. Then again, Wade always looked like that.
"Hi, Kim. Where were you all weekend?"
"Busy. Was there something urgent?"
"Kinda. Shego broke out yesterday."
"Oh. Well, it's a little sooner than usual, but well within her window. Is Drakken still in?"
"As far as I know. You don't seem too concerned about this."
"Shego always escapes. If she follows the usual pattern, she'll lay low for a couple of weeks and then break Drakken out. Then they'll start their next plot and it becomes my problem."
"Shouldn't we do something about that? You know, before that happens."
"Wade, we're not law enforcement. I'm just a high-school girl who likes to help people out. I'll get involved when somebody leaves a request at the site."
"If you say so. There was another matter, though. Adrena Lynn was released on parole on Thursday."
"You're going to have to remind me."
"Adrena Lynn, the Extreme Teen? She had a reality show until you exposed her for a fraud."
"Oh, right, her. That wasn't me, though, that was Ron."
"She certainly blamed you for it."
"People have a tendency to forget Ron. How's she out already? She kidnapped Brick and tried to kill him."
"First time offender, and time off for good behavior."
"Swell. I'm not sure why you're telling me about it, though. She's not exactly a major threat."
"Kim, she wanted revenge on you for ruining her career. How do you think she'll feel about you putting her in jail?"
"If she's dumb enough to come after me, I'll be happy to send her back in."
"What if she doesn't come after you? What if she tries to kidnap someone close to you again?"
"I guess you have a point. Are you keeping an eye out for her?"
"I'm trying."
"Thanks. Keep me posted."
"Will do. Bye, Kim."
"Bye."
Kim put the Kimmunicator away and tried to decide what to do. She felt restless, but didn't think her mother would let her out of the house. She should call Ron, but thinking about him made her feel guilty. She decided to call him later; it being a Sunday morning Ron was probably still asleep, anyway.
Kim glanced at the homework on her desk. She'd tried to get it all done early in the week so she wouldn't have to worry about it during the weekend, but one thing after another had taken up her free time. She settled down to finish her homework. Acting responsibly alleviated the vague feeling of guilt.
She was done with homework and was trying to concentrate on a novel when her phone rang. It was Ron.
"How's my best girl?"
"Ron, what's up?"
"That's what I want to know. Where were you all weekend? I missed you."
"Something came up. You know how it is."
"You're not seeing someone else, are you?"
"Ron, I'm not seeing anyone. I though we agreed we're not going steady."
"Kim, I know you're the one for me. I though you felt that way, too."
"It's just all so sudden, Ron. I want to take things easy."
"Does that mean you don't love me?"
"Ron, I do love you. You've been my best friend for ever. It's just weird to think of you as someone to date."
"You didn't seem to have any trouble with it at the prom."
Over the summer Kim had become increasingly sure her throwing herself in Ron's arms at the prom had been a rebound from Eric. She didn't know how to explain it to Ron, though. She knew that Ron had a thing for her: he'd confesses that he'd crushed on her for a good time. She felt guilty she had never noticed it, or felt the same. She felt guilty leading Ron on even though she was becoming pretty sure she never would love Ron like he loved her. She knew he'd be devastated if she called their thing off, and then she'd feel guilty about hurting him. She didn't see any good alternatives.
Then there was the fact she was getting surer that she was actually gay. She didn't recall ever desiring a guy the way she desired Shego. She'd certainly never felt that way about Ron. Ron was nice, and she enjoyed spending time with him, but he didn't arouse any great passion in her.
"Hello? KP, are you still there?"
"Yeah, Ron."
"You want to get together today? We could hang in the tree house."
Kim suspected that Ron was suggesting a make-out session. She enjoyed kissing, didn't she? Ron was nowhere as good a kisser as Shego, but Kim supposed she could teach him. She tried to picture kissing Ron, but images of Shego interfered. After her encounter with the enticing villain an evening with Ron just didn't appeal to her. There was also the implied grounding, and messing around with Ron probably wasn't on the list of approved activities.
"I'm kinda busy today. Some other day, okay?"
"Oh, okay. Uh, see you in school?"
"Yeah. Bye, Ron."
"Bye, KP."
The phone call didn't make Kim feel any less guilty. She needed to straighten things out with Ron someday soon. She thought she loved Ron. Ron was her oldest friend, and they had so many shared experiences. Kim suspected that was a much better basis for a relationship than the kind of hormone-driven crush she had on Shego.
Perhaps there wasn't the same kind of passion, even on Ron's part, but that didn't mean a physical intimacy couldn't grow between them. There was so much she could teach Ron. Well, maybe; she didn't have any experience with boys. She wondered what it would be like to have someone inside her. Kim tried to picture how Ron would react if she offered to sleep with him and smiled at the image. She didn't find Ron sexy, but the thought of taking their relationship to another level was exciting in its own right. Her hand started sneaking inside her pants.
The thoughts of sex reminded Kim of the possible consequences of her recklessness, and the sense of guilt returned. She logged on her computer and reluctantly read about sexually transmitted infections, specifically if they were a danger in lesbian sex. She found out to her dismay that while many diseases were unlikely to be transmitted from woman to woman, especially if toys were not used and shared, some infections were just as likely as with heterosexual couples.
She moved on to research how lesbians practiced safe sex and learned about using vinyl gloves, dental dams and the ever useful condoms. It had never occurred to her that two women might need condoms. She also didn't recall hearing of any of that in her Sex Ed classes. Of course, Barkin, who had been forced to substitute for a teacher absent for undisclosed medical reasons, hadn't seemed very comfortable teaching the class in the first place. He might well have skipped some of the topics.
She carefully erased her search history and cleared the cache of her browser. Her brothers were nosy and had no respect for her privacy, and this was one area of her life they definitely didn't need to learn about. They were too young to hear about sex, anyway.
She logged off the computer and sat at her desk for a moment, fidgeting. She didn't know what to do with herself. It was an unusual feeling; she always had something to do. With the shadow of not-quite-grounding hanging over her, she was uncertain of how much freedom of movement she had.
She went to her mother to ask for a chore, figuring the sooner she did her penance, the sooner her mother would let her off the hook. She regretted that choice when she made her clean her brothers' mess in the basement lab, but by then it was too late.
Kim lay in her bed, tossing and turning. She felt too restless to sleep. She was used to being more active, and being cooped up all day hadn't let her burn off enough energy, chores or no chores. That wasn't the only problem. Her bed felt empty in a way it never had before. She turned to lay on her stomach and hugged her pillow. She wished it was Shego, instead. She wanted to hold her, kiss her, make love to her.
"Oh, Shego," Kim whispered. She kissed her pillow, moaning a little into it.
Almost by itself, Kim's body began to grind against the mattress, the way she'd pleasured herself before she'd learned to use her fingers. She continued to kiss and fondle her pillow, imagining it to be Shego. The taste of wet fabric had nothing on Shego's lips. She pressed her pelvis hard against the yielding surface in accordance to the demands of the insistent throbbing between her legs.
She thought she heard a noise and froze. She had no door on her room, and seeking relief always carried a risk of discovery. The possibility was mortifying, but not enough to dissuade her from the practice. The danger also gave the activity a certain increased allure from being something naughty and forbidden.
She listened, holding her breath, her heart hammering. She couldn't hear anything, which was good, because she was past the point of no return. Even though she had stopped moving, the sensation in her loins didn't abate, but rather mounted with every heartbeat. She was so close. She slipped one hand inside her pajamas and bit down on the pillow as she found release.
Tension relieved, she drifted off to sleep.
Monday morning found Kim at the high school. She opened her locker and Wade greeted her from the screen of the computer built into it.
"Morning, Kim."
"Morning, Wade. Any updates?"
"I might have caught a glimpse of Adrena Lynn from a security camera in Upperton. I'll try to verify and narrow it down."
"Upperton? I think you were right about her coming after me."
"I'd like to say 'aren't I always', but I'll wait until I get it confirmed."
"I'm sure you will. Anything else?"
"There are some hits on the site. Do you want to hear them?"
"If no-one's life is in danger, maybe we ought to focus on Lynn for the while." She didn't want to test whether her mother would let her do missions just yet.
"Sounds sensible. I'll be in touch once I have better info."
"Thanks, Wade. You rock, as always."
Kim closed the door and saw Ron leaning against the locker next to hers. Ron had been her best friend for as long as she remembered. They were maybe sort of dating. Why did the sight of him bring on this empty feeling in the pit of her stomach?
"Morning, pretty lady," Ron said. Kim forced out a chuckle.
"Morning, Ron. You're in fine form."
"Well, it seems somebody needs to be reminded of what Ron-Man has to offer, boyfriend-wise."
"Is it a coupon book?" Kim regretted the words as soon as they left her mouth. Ron was trying; she shouldn't be mean. Maybe Shego was rubbing off on her. There had certainly been a lot of rubbing involved. Kim blushed at her naughty thoughts.
"It's not just a coupon book," Ron said. "There's also my suave charm."
Ron visibly preened. Kim realized he probably thought her blush was a response to his attempted gallantry. She really needed to straighten things out, sooner rather than later. She just didn't want to do it right now, and was happy when they had to separate and head off to their respective classes.
Kim had trouble concentrating on the lesson. She had a lot on her mind, and it didn't help the class was held by Barkin on account of their regular teacher being on personal leave. Her gaze wandered around the class. There weren't any boys in the class she considered cute; there were a couple of girls. Did that mean anything? She'd certainly had crushes on boys in the past. Sure, she'd lost interest in Josh after a couple of dates, but she had wanted those dates.
A traitorous part of her suggested she had been more interested in just dating somebody, especially somebody Bonnie was interested in, than in the boy himself. That had almost certainly been her sole interest in Bobby Johnson. Knowing what she did about Bonnie made her wonder if the brunette had actually been interested in either one, or if she had just thought dating them would boost her popularity. Her on-again-off-again relationship with Brick seemed to be entirely for show.
Was there any boy she had been unambiguously interested in? Her mind summoned up a picture of Hirotaka, the Japanese exchange student who had briefly attended Middleton High. Oh, yes, she'd definitely been totally into him. Initially her interest was based on him being new, exciting and cute, but there was more: his exotic good looks, his lovely black hair, his lean but powerful body, his confident, even cocky attitude, his fighting skills.
Kim frowned. Listing Hirotaka's attractive attributes like that made him sound rather like Shego. Maybe she had a type, and maybe it wasn't limited to just boys or just girls. That made it even more important to decide whether she wanted to pursue Shego or make Ron happy. Kim slumped over her desk, burying her head in her arms. Things were much more simple when she was on a mission.
"Miss Possible," Barkin said, "perhaps you would like to work out the example on the board."
Kim sighed. Missions were definitely easier.
At lunch break Kim sat down next to Monique, as usual. Ron hadn't made it in yet, so they had a few moments to talk in peace. Kim didn't know what to say, though. She wanted someone to confide in and Monique was her best girlfriend, but the thing with Shego was so big she wasn't sure she was ready to share it; and the school cafeteria was definitely not the right place for the discussion.
Kim looked at Monique, really looked at her. She was a very attractive girl, but she didn't feel attracted to her. She was probably too used to considering her as a friend. She wondered if that was also the case with Ron and the reason dating him didn't really feel like dating. She recalled how exited she had been when she and Monique first met and became friends. With the benefit of hindsight she wondered if her little girl crush hadn't, in fact, been a crush crush. She wondered if Monique would be up for a little experimentation and then wondered what was wrong with her.
They talked about clothes for a while. Monique was Kim's primary reference for the hottest outfits coming from Club Banana, but the state of her bank account left the conversation somewhat on the theoretical side. When Ron joined them at the table the discussion somehow veered towards wrestling. Kim was happy enough to be left out of the conversation.
Somehow Kim made it through the day. She had cheer practice after classes, and Bonnie insisting on changes in the routine made the session awkward, but she persevered. After practice she went straight home. She figured she'd better toe the line until her mother let her know she was in the clear. However, her day was not quite done.
"Mom," Kim said, walking into the living room with her Kimmunicator. "I need to go to Upperton for a mission." Dr. Possible lifted her eyebrow at Kim.
"Here," Kim said, handing her the Kimmunicator. She took it, looking puzzled.
"Uh, good evening, Wade."
"Hi, Dr. Possible. There's a situation that requires Kim's attention. Do you remember Adrena Lynn?"
"Was she that young woman with the stunt show Jim and Tim emulated?"
"That's her. She was released on parole last Thursday."
"Last Thursday..?" Dr. Possible eyebrows rose and she directed a sharp, somewhat surprised glance at Kim. With a shock, Kim suddenly guessed where her mother's thoughts had gone.
"What? Mom, I sent her to jail when she tried to get revenge for Ron exposing her as a fraud! We think she might come after me again. Wade spotted her associating with some shady people at an old warehouse."
"Have you called the police?"
"We think it would be best if Kim got some evidence of her breaking her parole, first." Kim noted he tactfully declined to elaborate on why his surveillance footage wouldn't be admissible in court.
"Then I can just take it to the police and let them handle her. She's not major league. With any luck I'll be back in time for dinner," Kim said.
"Will you be taking Ron?"
Kim tried to guess whether taking Ron would reassure her mother or if she'd be worried about what the two of them might get up to unsupervised.
"Uh, I thought I wouldn't. This is just reconnaissance. Ron has many wonderful qualities, but, well..."
"Subtlety is not one of them. I understand. Are you sure you will be okay on your own?"
"Of course. I'm not looking to start trouble. I'll be in and out of Upperton in no time. It's no big."
