(A/N Warning: contains angst, obsession, darkness, and a punch in the feels to any RobStar shippers. You have been warned.)
Robin's eyes struggled to stay open, still staring at the same computer screen that they were staring at two hours ago. On it was displayed several security cameras' footage of the afternoon, playing on a loop. He already had access to most of the cameras downtown, but he was too sleep deprived to hack into any more. During the day, it would have been easy. Operating on an empty stomach until nearly midnight was a different story. Part of him wanted to wake Kim up and ask Wade for help, but he quickly brushed the idea aside. Let her sleep, he thought. Don't cause her any trouble she doesn't need. She doesn't know Slade like I do. She can sleep. I need to solve my problem on my own.
He could almost hear Slade's mocking voice jeering at him from the corners of the room. "You're slowing down, Robin. So disappointing. I expected better of you. You cannot stop me. You've grown too soft. What a tragic way to lose, Robin."
"Shut up!" the boy shouted out loud. Normally, he could tell when he was only imagining Slade's voice. Now, barely awake and certainly not very alert, he could feel his senses getting blurrier. For all he knew, he could have been dreaming. He slapped himself in the face. "Focus," he instructed himself, pressing down on the edges of his mask with his gloved fingers in concentration.
The mask was not something he frequently wore this late at night, with the exception of missions. While he wore the mask, he was Robin the Teen Wonder, former sidekick to the Batman and leader of the Teen Titans. It was an icon, an image. He had no problem with his heroic identity. It was who he was. That was a fact. None of his teammates had seen him without his eyes covered before, and they respected that and didn't ask to. There was one time when he had suspected that Starfire had caught him putting it on, but she hadn't said anything, so he left it alone. Still, at the end of a hard day of being a hero, it was nice to take the mask off and just be Dick Grayson, even if it was only in his sleep. Plus, and this was something he was realizing again after nearly having forgotten it, the elastic holding it to his face felt really irritating when it was on twenty-four/seven. He nervously massaged the skin that met its black outline as he looked up at the map of Jump City, perplexed.
He had made progress. He had been able to eliminate several possible locations since his last talk with Starfire. But he was going at a snail's pace, and he knew it. He was still on step two, while Slade was probably on step twenty at least. For all Robin knew, Slade could have suddenly moved headquarters in the middle of the night and this would all amount to nothing.
"How fruitless your labors appear, Robin," Slade's voice taunted. "You are failing your teammates. They are so disappointed in you. I'm disappointed in you. To think I let you be my apprentice, when you can't even find me on your own!"
Robin shook his head to break up the noise inside. Maybe I should rest, he thought, acknowledging his own fatigue. Starfire said to take a break. One little break can't hurt. I'm too tired to go on anyway.
His eyes looked up wearily at the newspaper clippings pinned to the wall beside Slade's old, cracked mask. It seemed to remind him of something. He felt the irritation of his own mask again and cringed, rubbing the elastic edge with his thumb and forefinger. Idiot, he thought. I can't quit now. If Slade gets away, it's my fault. I can't let it happen again. I won't. He bent over and keyed a new code into his computer, unlocking another timestamp of security footage.
The automatic door slid open, but with his back to it and his focus in front of him, Robin didn't notice. In walked Starfire, carrying a plate of reheated pepperoni pizza. She tread forward, waiting for Robin to hear her footsteps or the door closing behind her. He didn't. She cleared her throat. "Robin?" she said gently.
Robin looked back at her. "Oh, hey, Star," he said, his voice clearly tired. "Is something wrong?"
She held out the plate of pizza and replied, "You made the promise to take the break many hours ago, and you still continue to work. Can you not take the break now? Observe, I have even added heat to your pizza."
Robin realized for the first time just how long he had been working. When had he made that promise? It had been in the afternoon for sure, but how long ago was that? He looked down, then at his computer screen. "Sorry, Star. I meant to stop. I just have to finish tonight. There's no telling how far Slade's plan has gotten by now."
"Agreed," Starfire nodded. She set down the plate on Robin's desk and turned her own eyes toward the piles of research on it. "But is this the best way for such an accomplishment? You have not eaten, you have had none of the sleep, and…" she looked him over carefully, noticing everything, "…and you do not look well, Robin. You need to stop. The Slade obsession is becoming the too much."
"No."
"I see. Perhaps you could stop for just a moment, and then…"
"No. I can't."
The harshness of his tone took Starfire by surprise. His masked eyes stared at the security footage, which held his complete focus. Dark circles could be seen just below the edge of his mask and the skin to the sides of the mask was red with discomfort. His brow was furrowed and his entire body was tensed. She realized that she should have put her foot down sooner. Robin had definitely hit his limit.
"Robin," she said, more firmly than before, "you are not well and your thinking is not straight. You must leave this place and have the sleep."
"Can't," he replied, still looking at his work. "I'm seconds away from a breakthrough. I just know it!"
"You have said that before," she pointed out, "and it was untrue. Something is very, very wrong with you now, and it will not go away until you at least take the break."
"Nothing's wrong with me!" Robin contradicted defensively. "You guys just don't get it! I have to find him. I'm the only one who knows how he thinks. If I don't do this, who will?"
"Your friends will," Starfire readily answered. "We are a team, Robin. We help each other. Besides, what good is locating Slade if you are too tired to effectively pursue him?"
"I'm not too tired," he argued, looking away from the computer to blink away the effect of the bright screen. He ran one finger under one elastic edge of his mask to temporarily relieve the strain. "I'm fine."
"No, you are not fine," Starfire insisted. "You are anything but fine. You think that by sacrificing yourself in this way, you are being the hero, but you are not. You are hurting yourself the worse. Robin, you are the greatest superhero leader I know, but you are also a human boy. I still have much to learn about earth, but I do know that both humans and Tamaranians have limits and must stop when they reach them. You are not different from any other human being in that way merely because of the mask and the cape. You must take care of yourself. You must allow your teammates to help you. Please, Robin, listen to me."
Robin looked up at the map. There were still five locations he needed to find footage of circled in red. He bent over and began to type a new string of code into his computer.
Starfire was not satisfied with his silence. She crossed her arms and said, "Robin, that is enough." He continued to work as if he had not heard her. "Robin, this is the last warning." No response. "I apologize," she said finally before reaching down and pressing the power button on Robin's keyboard.
The screen went black. Robin jumped out of his chair and turned his attention toward Starfire, exhibiting signs of a mix of disbelief and frustration. "Starfire, how could you? I was working on that! Do you know how long I've been trying to figure this out?"
"Yes I do," she answered, not budging. "I apologize again, but there was no other way to get you out. Now you can have the sleep and, in the morning, the whole team can discuss a plan together."
"Plan? What plan?" Robin said, his anger at Slade coming out through his increasingly louder voice. "We're days behind him! He's moving ahead and we have nothing! What good is a team plan if we don't have any information?"
Starfire took a step back. She had not seen this side of Robin for a long time. He is not himself, she silently reminded herself. Allow him to calm down. His anger is for Slade, not you.
"Perhaps your friends have good ideas that you have not thought of yet," Star suggested softly.
"Like what?" he scoffed. "If I, knowing as much about Slade as I do and after researching as much as I have, can't think of anything, how can the others?"
"Well…I may have the idea."
Robin looked at her strangely. He had never doubted his girlfriend's intelligence at all, but only on the rare occasion had she played the part of the ideas person on the team. It was also very rare for her to take control of the situation as much as she currently was. He was actually really impressed with her. However, he had priorities, and catching Slade was on the top of the list. The insinuation that he could not do this, his job, was incredibly frustrating, especially for a teenage boy badly in need of food and sleep.
"You have an idea?" he asked, trying not to sound too vexed. "What idea?"
Starfire wasn't sure if he was in earnest or not, but she decided to go along with it. "I thought of it after we finished the meal of pizza. You recall that you said Kim Possible and I have similar appearances, yes?"
"Sort of. I don't think that's exactly what I said…"
"The other Titans have noticed it also," Starfire continued. "We are aware that Shego is bent upon the destruction of Kim. We are also aware that Shego once had a heroic past and that our powers have a mutual source. Perhaps I could disguise myself as Kim Possible so that Shego would come after me, remaining monitored by you and the others of course, and when we meet, I could speak with her and establish a connection with her. Then, perhaps, she could save herself from the influence of Slade and assist us in taking him down. There are the details still to be worked out, but do you approve?"
Robin took a moment to process the suggestion. The black elastic pulled at his skin uncomfortably. He tried not to think about it and said, "So you think you can just convince Shego to help us like that? She's been evil for years. You'd just be putting yourself in danger for no reason."
"Perhaps," Starfire replied, "or perhaps not. Terra was not always good, and yet she rescued us all in the end, so…"
"Shego is not Terra!" Robin insisted, beginning to lose his loosely established cool. "Shego wants to be evil and she wants to destroy us. She was never our teammate. She hates Kim, and she hates the rest of us. That's the problem here: Slade's finally found an apprentice who can come close to comparing with him in ruthlessness!" He tried to restrain his anger, but it had slipped out of his control. Slade was winning. "You think just because you two have the same powers, she's some kind of replacement Blackfire to you? Like you can fix her and have that sister you missed out on? It won't happen, Starfire! Shego isn't a prisoner to be pitied. She's an enemy who has to be stopped! She's just like Slade! Don't you understand?"
Starfire was on the verge of tears, but she held them back. He is not angry at me, she reminded herself. He is angry at Slade. He has not the control. He does not realize what he is saying. She took a deep breath and retorted boldly, "I do understand, Robin. I understand that no apprentice of Slade's has enjoyed it, and I understand that, were she granted the chance, Shego may be willing to assist us in exchange for her freedom. I also understand that you are tired, overworked, unfed, and need to stop working so that you may think clearly."
"I am thinking clearly!" Robin insisted, losing any last vestige of control that he had left. "I know how evil Slade is, and I know Shego is the same! They're like Blackfire! They're unfixable, Starfire! Some people just can't change!"
"But what if…"
"No! It wouldn't work! Don't you understand? You can't just fix people with love!"
Starfire dropped her arms to her sides and looked at Robin in the eerie silence that followed. "No," she said calmly. "It is apparent that I cannot."
Robin had been staring at his work during the entire last portion of the argument. When he finally realized what he had said, he regretted it immediately and turned around to apologize…but she had already left, the door swooshing shut behind her. "Oh no," he breathed. "What have I done?"
He got up out of his chair and sprinted to the door. He had misdirected his anger at Slade, and hurt the person he cared about the most. "Starfire!" he called, opening the door and looking down one side of the hallway for her. She was long gone. "Starfire, I'm sorry!" he shouted, looking down the other side. No sign of her.
He took a step back into the evidence room, his heart as heavy as five times its size in bricks. He hadn't yelled at Starfire since that time when he had been drugged into seeing Slade. This is it, he thought. She's breaking up with me. I let Slade take control, and this is what I get. I blew it.
Slade's old mask hanging on the wall caught his eye. He picked up it and threw it as hard and as far away as he could, into the farthest, darkest corner of the room. He didn't want to look at Slade anymore. He didn't want to think about Slade anymore. Slade was the cause of all of his problems, and he wanted him gone.
But no, he knew that wasn't completely true. Actually, that wasn't true at all. He was the one who had messed everything up. He could play the blame game all he wanted, but deep down, he could feel a knot of guilt tightening inside him. The elastic edge of the mask stretched over his skin, making him feel the burden of its presence. If only he didn't always have to be the hero. If only he could be a human being for once. The agitation of his skin against the mask only worsened. Finally, he couldn't take it anymore and ripped the mask off.
He held it in his hands, having a staring contest with nonexistent eyes. This was him. This was his image. This was his identity. This mask. "Why?" he demanded, knowing full well that he would not be answered. "Why do you always mess everything up?"
The black and white infinity sign stared back at him silently. He turned around and threw it on the floor in front of him, saying, "Why do you always have to ruin everything?"
Then, he looked up and froze, as did everything in that room.
Apparently, he had forgotten to shut the door behind him, because in the open doorway stood Ron Stoppable, holding a bowl of cheese puffs.
