Blimey, this was written like, a week ago and I kept forgetting about it! sorry.

I'll be the first to admit that I have no idea what I'm doing. I hope all this makes sense... It's like, this idea has been with me for a while and I kept thinking it'd go away and all I have to do is read more Jily fics, but unfortunately, that didn't work and now this story is here and demanding to appear. Dunno if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Definitely getting in the way of me writing something substantial, but it probably wasn't gonna happen anyway.

Quick note: I thought strikethrough was a thing here, turns out it isn't, so I've improvised and used -as the beginning of the strikethrough and- as the end. Hope that makes sense. Also, I had planned all of this in James' point of view, but then somewhere along the way I realised that Lily's would probably be easier. So... yeah.


Part one: The Art of Deflation

Or, summer brings about letters and friendships

Chapter one

"I'd feel terrible, Moony, if you don't let us visit you during the full moon." James said, his head stuck in the fire of his living room. "Padfoot's come around some more, he's almost regretful about what he did."

"And I'd feel terrible knowing you were there, in danger." Remus replied.

"No, we wouldn't be in danger. C'mon, Moony, we've done this a million times and we've been fine each time."

"All those cuts and bruises, that horrible scar you got from 5th year, you call those being 'fine'?"

"Well, maybe not completely fine, but that's all part of it, isn't it, Remus? We promised you we wouldn't let you go through all this alone, that we'd be with you and help you. We won't go back on that promise."

"Visit me the day after, then, that helps."

"Not as much as staying with you the entire time. You can't fool me, Moony, I'm your best mate."

"Wormtail's my best mate right now."

"Remus. Look, if you're not going to let us come, we'll go ourselves! We'll come right after the sun's gone down, burst open the lock, and be there anyway."

"Fine, come on over on Friday. But make sure Padfoot is up to it, alright, and its not just that you dragged him here?" Remus raised his head suddenly. "I've got to go, my mum wants me to go to the store." He flashed James a grin. "See you on the full moon, Prongs."

"See ya, Moony." James pulled his head out.

"Who were you talking to?" A familiar voice called from behind, causing James to jump and whirl around.

"Moony." He replied casually to his best friend. "He didn't want us to come this Friday, but I convinced him otherwise."

Sirius nodded. "Good." He hesitated. "He knows that I'm… erm… Sorry, right?"

"I dunno. Did you tell him?"

"Well, each time I think to bring it up, he avoids it, or says that he should be thanking me for reminding him how dangerous he is." Sirius sighed. "Anyway, any owls for me?" James opened his mouth to turn the topic back to Moony and the Incident, but the look on Padfoot's face changed his mind, and he shook his head instead.

"None yet. Why? Already talking up some bird?" He teased half-heartedly. "Hoping to get a head start for next year?"

"No, I told Evans to write. The war's been making it a bit hard for her and her family."

"Right. How is it that my two best mates are friends with my love, and yet she still hates me?"

"She doesn't exactly hate you, Prongs. She just thinks you're—and these are her words, not mine—an arrogant toerag. And she's a bit right, mate. You tend to show off so much around her you end up looking rather conceited."

"But we've had a few civil conversations already, and I stopped showing off so much! I even kept from hexing that Ravenclaw boy she went on that one date with!"

"That's because you were in the hospital wing at the time."

"That's not the point! I still didn't do it!"

"Then I suppose you're on the right track. I'll remind her of that in the next letter."

"No! I'm going to start writing her."

"I wouldn't if I were you…"

"I'll keep the showing off to a minimum. And I can handle birds, Sirius, no need to worry. Just because I haven't snogged every other girl in school doesn't mean I'm inexperienced."

"You're inexperienced because you've spent your entire dating life trying to get Evans to go out with you."

"I've snogged before!"

"What, that one time when we played seven minutes in heaven? With McDonald?"

"Er…"

"Right, you go ahead and write that letter. Just don't come running to me when her reply comes in with a curse attached to it."

"Wait, but Padfoot! I don't know how to start my letter!"

"How about, 'Hello Lily' or 'Dear Miss Evans' or at least a salutations?"

"Sod it, I'll just wait until Friday to ask Remus. You're terrible at giving advice. Let's go work on your motorbike. I'm certain we can get it to fly."

James headed out of the living room, but Sirius stopped him.

"Hey, thanks, mate." He said quietly. "For forgiving me and everything. Understanding."

"If we can't trust our own friends, we can't trust anyone." James replied. "And that'd be a very sad world to live in."

~0~

Dear Lily, Lily read. This was her last summer at her parent's house, and she was spending it by staying by herself in the house, spending time with her family, and finding a job. She had also managed to start corresponding with her Hogwarts friends and pretend to her neighbours that they had merely imagined the numerous owls flying about her house. She was currently reading a letter from Remus Lupin.

Dear Lily, the letter read,

I know I already told you this, but I simply can't thank you enough for being there for me this year. I just talked to James, and after a half-hearted argument, I'm glad to say that they (and by they I mean him and Sirius) will be coming over to my house this Friday to keep me company. James said that Sirius is becoming 'regretful' (his words, not mine), although Sirius has yet to tell me that himself. Of course, part of that is because I haven't been letting him. You were there last day of school, when Sirius tried to apologise. I'm afraid it's been like that for a while. But I've decided that perhaps forgiving him and setting aside my fears might be worth it. I hadn't realised how much I hated being alone after one of my episodes, since they've been there for me these past seven years.

But enough about me and my 'wallowing,' as I seem to recall you calling it, how are you doing? Petunia still giving you a hard time? Is she still with that walrus man? What was his name, something like Vermin, if I remember correctly? How are your parents? Mine are all over the place, half of the time hoping that I'll get out of the house more, the other half promising me that they'll help me out next year if ever I need to stay with them. I'm more than sure I'll be able to find a place to stay on my own next year.

Can you believe this is our last summer? That next year is our last school year? In a year's time, on this day, we'll be out in the world, looking for jobs and finding places to live, never to go to Hogwarts again? Unless, of course, we become teachers, which I can honestly see you doing. But, of course, you want to be an auror, or a healer, right? Someone who actively works to fight You-Know-Who and his followers? I reckon I'd do something like that too, if I really could. I couldn't, but I might as well try.

You turned seventeen this year. Are you following through with your plan to ward your parents' house? A bit hard to do so on muggles, as I told you earlier, but I do suggest doing a few things, at least while you're home. I don't want you in danger while you're away from Hogwarts, and when we leave you'll have to be 100 percent capable of putting up wards around your house. Merlin knows you're going to need it more than us.

I have to go now, mum wants to teach me some 'domestic spells' so that I can live by myself and keep my place clean without someone else to do it for me. She thinks my dorm looks like a pig sty. She fails to realise that it only looks that way because of my roommates, and that my side of the room is the only neat part of it. I've known how to clean with magic for years now.

Hope to hear from you soon,

Remus Lupin

Lily grinned and grabbed a clean piece of parchment, inking down something about him being the 'domestic one' in his relationship with Sirius Black (she loved to tease them about it; she wondered when they'd realise that they love each other and are perfect for each other.) before answering his earlier questions (yes, Petunia is still as surly as ever, and her walrus boyfriend was Vernon Dursley, not Vermin, although it was a good nickname for him. Her parents were fine, and now that he mentions it, she probably should put up some better wards to keep her parents safe, since the war was getting worse and worse every day now and Death Eaters were targeting the parents of muggle-borns as well, but her parents were blissfully ignorant, as she had only told them that there was a war going on in order to explain all the disappearances to them. No, she couldn't believe it was her last year, but she felt ready anyway. She wanted to be an auror more than a healer, since they were more out there, but the ministry wasn't doing much as of now and she wasn't so sure about working for them anymore. Perhaps the resistance led by Dumbledore?).

Then she wrote more about him not belittling himself, that he had plenty of qualifications and that if none of those tossers will hire you or people reject you in the resistance, then I'll start up my own organisation or business and hire you myself, and together we'll win the war for the whole world to see. Watch them have prejudice against werewolves after that. She also talked about not thanking her again, how she was only telling him the truth when she said all those things about him and that if she ever heard him 'wallowing' about his illness and how it seemed to define him, she'll hex him into oblivion. You, Sirius, and I seem to be the only ones who understand that it's not what what you cannot control in your life that defines you, it's what you do about it that shows how strong you truly are.

Signing at the bottom and tucking it into an envelope, she sent Remus' owl back to his master, turning instead to Marlene's letter.

Marlene's family was quite in hiding, seeing as most of them were fighting You-Know-Who and their father (also fighting) was a muggle-born himself. But to keep up pretences and pretend that her entire family wasn't in the resistance, Marlene was allowed to send letters to her friends. As a consequence, however, they were dreadfully dull and with no information whatsoever, and Lily learned nothing about her friend's happenings, replying with a letter just as vague and falsely cheerful. (They also used to false name Melissa, so that no one could track it back to a muggle-born.)

The next few days were spent waiting for more owls, scanning the obituary column of the Daily Prophet (never anything these days, the ministry liked to keep everything hush-hush) pretending not to see Severus on the street, and catching up with her muggle friends and family.

Finally, five days after her last letter, five owls flew to her window. They tapped incessantly against her windowpane, waking her up at seven in the morning on a Sunday. She tiredly let them in, paying the owl delivering the Daily Prophet and untying all the other letters from the four other birds.

She opened Marlene's first, since she was still tired and Marlene's letters were bound to be easy to understand and reply to. There was nothing new, something about having tea with her grandmother and being forced to babysit her nephew, and Lily replied with a story she heard from her friends and an apology if her letter made no sense, since she was still half-asleep.

Of the other three owls, only one had stayed, flying into Morgana's cage and nipping at her food. Deciding to leave the two owls to figure things out (Morgana was very gracious about her space), Lily headed downstairs to eat and read the newspaper. She said good morning to her parents and made plans with them to eat lunch together later, and after reading the Daily Prophet from front to back, as was her habit, announced that there was nothing new to her parents and headed back upstairs to read and reply to the rest of the letters.

The owl that remained (and was currently perched on her bedpost, having been kicked out of the cage) was Alice's, who had only recently visited Frank Longbottom's parents and needed to tell someone about it.

His mother sure has character. Snapped at Frank for slouching earlier, but was perfectly kind to me. She wrote, before asking about Lily's summer and announcing that she and her family were going to France for a while, but only my parents and I, since Fabian and Gideon decided they 'had better things to do', she added, which meant that they, too, had joined the resistance. Lily's reply was rather brief, since nothing of interest had happened that summer, but she wished Alice and her family well. (Which she hoped translated well enough into 'I wish Fabian and Gideon luck in fighting Voldemort.)

Lily was left with a letter from Remus and another from Messrs. James Potter and Sirius Black. She opened Potter and Black's first.

My dearest Lilyflower, it started, in Sirius' proud handwriting,

There is no fathoming the depths of my love for you. I care for you so much, I have been willing to dispatch my best mate, a now-deceased James Potter, in order to appease you.

I'm just joking of course. I'd never hurt James on purpose, not even if James himself asked me to, let alone for some bird. Not that you're just some bird, mind you, but that's not the point now, is it?

Anyway, Prongsie and I decided to save parchment and our owl by writing our letters on the same paper and sending it at the same time, but I got to write first, since I'm you friend and James is not. (Yet.)

All I really want to say is thank you. I figure you've heard this already from Moony, and probably even Wormtail, although he's gone off to visit friends in Germany or somewhere on the continent, so maybe you haven't heard from him yet. But either way, thanks are required, because I must admit, without you the Marauders would be no more.

You were there to knock sense into me and explain to Moony how utterly unworthless he is, and then knock some sense into him to make him listen to my now-making-sense self. Remus tells me that that last sentence made no sense (although you had supposedly knocked some of that into me) and that unworthless is not a word, but I told him that you and I have a connection that is almost magical and you will understand me nonetheless. I hope I was not mistaken. Just in case I am (although I rarely am) mistaken, here is the translation: I finally apologised and he finally listened and we have come to an understanding. Granted, that understanding is more-or-less the same as it had been for years, but it is still an understanding. And it is all thanks to you (and James).

Remus tells me that you dreadful sister is giving you a hard time again. Would you like me to come over and scare her to death? Or something close to that? Or perhaps should I attempt to scare her boyfriend away by wooing her with my devilishly good looks and charm? Only say the word and I shall be there, roses and a box of chocolates in hand. Alternately, we could steal you away and you could spend the rest of the summer with James and I at the Potter Manor, although perhaps that wouldn't be the smartest idea if we want you and Prongs in one piece by the end of summer.

Keep in touch, love,

Sirius.

P.S. I'm sirius, if you need any help, just ask and I'll pop over to do whatever it is you need me to do.

Next came Potter's letter, his rather untidy but grand handwriting sprawling across the page.

Dear Evans,

First, before I get to my proper letter, I will just say yes, Sirius just used a Sirius pun. They got old in first year, but he still thinks they're funny.

Now, my actual letter:

Sirius basically said it all, but I wanted to say thank you myself. I know just as well (and maybe even better) how stubborn those two can be especially with something like this. And Sirius is right, we might never have made up with each other without you. You also saved me from a massive headache and awkwardness all summer.

I also believe it is you I have to thank for convincing Remus to forgive himself for crimes not even committed. Did he tell you that he thought himself such a monster that he decided he couldn't have friends anymore? But I managed to get him to allow us over yesterday and all is well now.

Alright, it's not all well. Moony still sort of hates himself (hex him out of that, will you?) and Sirius keeps looking at him like he's going to blow his top at any moment and I have no idea where Wormtail is, but things are looking up. I think we deserve a celebration for it. -Fancy popping down to Diagon Alley for- Disregard the last few sentences, Remus told me to take it out.

I'll have you know that as of right now, I've decided to stop asking you out. The last time I asked, if I recall correctly, you sent a bat-bogey hex my way and told me you'd rather go out with Lord Voldemort and die than go out with me. Well, I'd rather you not die, so I've decided to settle with just friends. -Of course, if you ever come to your senses and realise that you're actually head-over-heels in love with me,-

I'm terrible at this, but for you, I'm willing to try.

Thank you again for saving my friendships. I know you didn't do it for me, but I truly am grateful.

Sincerely,

James Potter

Below that, Remus had added his own little input, saying, Sorry about James' egregious behaviour in writing, he doesn't quite know how to talk to you like a normal person, and this isn't even face-to-face. But he isn't really always like this. Just around you. Have a happy summer, Lily, and I'm writing you a letter myself right now.

Lily replied to Black first, teasing him about 'unworthless' and relaying her relief that the two friends had made up, saying (yet again) that no thanks was necessary before sarcastically and dramatically professing her love to him and thanking him for offering himself up for her, as Petunia was surely the devil in disguise. In all actuality, Black, thanks for the offer, but I can handle her myself. She is my own sister, after all. But I'll keep in mind that you're 'sirius' in telling me to ask you for help whenever it is needed. If you need me to help with Regulus at all, just let me know.

She rolled the letter up and set it aside, pulling out a scrap piece of parchment for Potter's reply. Potter, she wrote.

It is nice of you to try, at least, to consider my feelings. However, I'll have you know that as of right now, I've decided that you are still an arrogant toerag. Remus may vouch for you, but it is a well-known fact that you care only for you and your fellow Marauders and no one else, so I will not take his word for this one. The only redeeming part of your letter was when you thanked me and mentioned how you were aware that I did nothing for you. However, you seemed to have forgotten that although we have mutual friends, I do not actually care about you and whether or not you are grateful.

Please note that if I already knew how to attach curses to letters, I would, but since I don't yet know and I can't be bothered to spend time finding out how to just for you, you've managed to get through this one unscathed. Of course, if you would give this letter to Remus or Sirius to read, please, one of you hex him for me.

Lily Evans

P.S. The only thing I'll agree with you here is their stubbornness. And I will talk to Remus about his self-esteem. And have you caught on to the obvious sexual tension going on between your two best mates? I've been trying to get them to realise how perfect they are for each other.

She then opened Remus' letter, one more sophisticated and past the subject of 'thank you for saving my friendships' and such, and replied accordingly, with a long post-script about how he shouldn't think lowly of himself.

She sent all three letters off with Morgana, who flew over to Remus' house, where she knew the three boys were staying for now, before getting ready for lunch with her parents.


er... right. Um... review? Even if it's terrible, please do, I just want to know what I can do to make this better. My writing's been rubbish lately, and I'm not british but trying, so... :) CC greatly appreciated.