Hey! I'm alive! Gosh I've been gone for so long I don't even think sorry will cut it. :P But sorry anyway, I don't really have much of an excuse except that I couldn't figure out the pacing of this stupid thing and these are like legit chapters, not just little fanfiction chapters, so it was really long and there was a lot of mixing and matching involved. That said, the next chapter is almost ready, I just need to add the last part (the part that actually matters hehehe) so you should all be happy. Another excuse will be that for some (pardon my language but it is necessary) fucking reason this damn thing will not upload onto and I don't know how many times I've tried but like this has been ready to upload (literally—the file is labeled 'to upload') and for some reason, it is… not, yet. If anyone can tell me why the fuck I'm having trouble uploading, I'll love you forever. At first I thought it was because it was too long, but like, I'm not cutting my chapters! That's like, so not cool. I spent so much time writing this and I'm staying to a strict 3 part story with 4 chapters per part. I can't cut.
Thank you to everyone who stayed with me after all this time, to those who favourited, reviewed, followed, etc. It's been so long I don't even think I should/could reply to reviews anymore hahaha :P
Enjoy! :D
Chapter 7
"I don't need you to preach to me, Potter!" Lily spat.
"Me? Preach?"
"Yes! Preach about how I should already know this, oh Lily, why don't you know this, it's a basic fact of life—a life that I didn't grow up with!"
"Yes, and I know that, and I'm not preaching!"
"Yes you are, and you're being a git and you know it—"
"And this is coming from a girl who spent the entire summer telling me I was an arrogant bastard who needed to change—And I did, for you. I didn't know I had to pretend not to be a pureblood for you to even care about me—"
"Of course not, I just don't want you to throw it in my face as if—"
"You know, you're always talking about how bad it is to be a muggle-hater, or even a wizard-hater, but you've never thought about how obsessed you are about your own blood status. I am a pureblood. You are a muggle-born. These are facts of life—"
"And there you go preaching again—"
"And there you go being all self-righteous without thinking about what you're really saying, without listening to me—"
"You're talking nonsense and I know it doesn't really matter, you're just so used to someone listening to you when you talk—"
"And you're not? You're not used to people parting around you when you walk down the corridor because you're the smartest witch our age and you're Prefect, you're Head Girl, you're perfect, prissy Miss Evans—"
"I do know what it's like not to get preferential treatment, actually, I'm the second daughter—and my sister is, believe it or not, ten times worse than me—whereas you are an only child of the rich, old and noble family of Potter."
"So your life is a billion times worse than mine, is that what you're saying?"
"Yes! You don't understand what I have to get through to get where I am, to get to where you are after you just waltz in and perform one of your wonderful spells, spells you learned before you even had a wand of your own—"
"And you don't understand what I have to go through! My life might not have the problems you have, might not seem as bad to you, but I have troubles too, Evans! And you… harping me about how your life is miserable and I'm being an ass is not helping either of us!" James threw his hands up in the air. "I can't do this right now." He announced, and flicked his wand violently at his things, which flew up and began to pack themselves before following him out the door.
"I can't believe him!" Lily exclaimed as she plopped down in front of her work and began to write furiously. "How horrible."
"Lily…" Remus started, speaking carefully as though scared she was a bomb and would blow up at any second, "Um, please don't get mad at me or anything," Remus cleared his throat and now sounded calmer, more soothing, "But is it… your time of the month?"
Lily's quill broke as she snapped her head in his direction, glaring at him for all she was worth—but what had Remus meant? He looked like he was trying to tell her something… Her time of the month… Remus was looking very peaky tonight… And tomorrow was… "Oh." She said quietly, her anger dissipating quickly, and replaced by guilt. "Oh, Remus, I'm so sorry."
"It's not your fault, Lily." Remus smiled at her.
"But it is, Remus, I'm so sorry, I was so horrible…"
"Don't apologise to me."
"Oh Merlin I was terrible to him!" Lily brought her hands up to her mouth in shock. "I… I have to go." She picked up her wand, repaired her quill, and began to pack her stuff—without magic, unlike James. "I really am sorry, Moony." She said as she left, putting her hand on Remus' shoulder. Her friends raised their eyebrows at the use of his nickname, but they didn't all understand what she was trying to say. "Get a good night's sleep, alright?" She turned to everyone. "All of you." She said, and then she was gone, heading toward her shared rooms with James, where she hoped beyond hope he was there.
She was in luck, because he had been pacing in front of the bookshelves when she came in, cautiously.
"What do you want now?" He snarled at her, and turned resolutely away from her.
"I wanted… to apologise." James snorted. "No, really. I'm sorry." She said, putting her things down and moving towards him. "I was the git, and everything you were saying was true and I was being selfish, not thinking of you. Not thinking about what could possibly be plaguing you right now." Lily reached him and put her hand on his shoulder. His stiff posture relaxed and he turned around slowly. "I know it hurts you to see him like that, it hurts me too. And I guess… I'd forgotten what I liked about you, just remembered all these bitter feelings, all these things I hated about you…" Lily wrapped her arms around him, and whispered "I'm sorry" in his ear; he stopped breathing and was tensed now. She continued to whisper "I'm sorry" and wrapped her arms tighter around him until he began to breath again and his heartbeat slowed down a little bit and finally, his arms went around her.
"What am I going to do with you, Evans?" He asked in a low voice, lips so close to her ear that she could feel them brushing against her skin. "I'm so angry at you, and yet I know I'd rather hate you like this than have you hate me in any way. I'd rather have these fights daily so long as I knew we could still make up after them, knew you still cared for me." There was something else in his voice, an implication behind his words that screamed out to Lily, 'I love you', but she pushed aside that thought and just focused on the sound of his steady breaths in her ear.
"I'm sorry." She said for the last time, and it wasn't enough, not after what he'd said, but she didn't know what else to say, or how else to say it, so she said she was sorry and he sighed, as if he'd expected her to say that but had hoped she'd say something else, and then he kissed the side of her head tenderly before pulling away.
"I'm going to head up for bed." He said quietly, avoiding her eyes. "Goodnight." He moved away, but Lily caught his wrist.
"James…" She said, and he looked up at her with eyes filled with hope— "Goodnight." —And the hope had disappeared quickly enough that even his looking down, away from her eyes, was too slow to keep her from seeing it.
James nodded. "Goodnight, Lily." He slipped out of her grasp and made his way up the stairs.
~0~
She realised it the next morning. She had been talking to Xenophilius and Pandora about the halloween party, and he had come up behind her, wrapping his arm around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder. She had leaned into him and added him into the conversation without a second thought, and it was only after the two fifth year prefects had left, looking at each other and glancing slyly at them, when Lily realised that she was actually really good friends with James. Perhaps even best friends.
Then, later that day, she realised another thing. James had written on the margins of her notes again, asking her if she was listening, and as she replied she admired his messy and yet pretty handwriting, and then she realised it. She looked guiltily at Remus, Alice, and Marlene, who were sitting relatively near her, and remembered her outbursts the earlier week. She caught up with Remus first, nodding at James to go on and walking alongside her long-time friend.
"I think I might owe you an apology, Remus." She said quietly, watching James' back as he walked away, chatting with Marlene. Remus looked at her in confusion, before following her eyes and smiling with realisation.
"The fact that you thought it in the first place is enough, Lily. You can apologise later, when you two get together." Remus replied jokingly.
"Don't tell him." Lily turned and grabbed his arm suddenly, forcing Remus to look at her. "Don't tell anyone. I… No one can know, alright?"
"Why not, Lily, I mean, he would be absolutely thrilled to hear—"
"Remus. I don't want to have to explain myself to you, just please, promise."
"I promise, Lily. Now go get him!"
"Go—Are you mad, Remus?"
"No, but now I think maybe you are—"
"Remus. The guy asks the girl out, not the other way around."
"Aren't you all for equality between the sexes?"
"Yes, but this way I won't be turned down or be called a coward." Lily flashed a smile at her friend before leaving him and finding Alice and walking to their next class together. She didn't see Remus open his mouth to tell her how head-over-heels in love with her James was.
Lily apologised to her two mates during Charms. They had 'paired' up—James gave her a slightly confused and also hurt look when she had turned straight to the girls instead of him, and it made her heart hurt a bit, but she really needed to talk to them.
"Well why don't you just ask him out, really, Lily!" Marlene commented as Lily recounted her realisation.
"Yes, for the halloween party!" Alice added. "You can even say it's because you're both Heads and you might as well, he won't know—"
"We've already agreed not to have dates, so we can focus on the party."
"That was his idea, wasn't it."
"What does it matter if it's his idea, Marlene?"
"Well, then it means he still fancies you!"
"He does not, and if he did, then wouldn't he have asked me out instead of suggesting neither of us go?"
"Well he said he wouldn't ask you out again, and he doesn't know you fancy him, so of course he's not going to ask you out!
"I don't even know why we're having this argument, he doesn't fancy me."
Marlene suddenly stopped, turning to Lily and Alice with a mischievous glint in her eye. "Well," She said, "then I guess you'd just have to catch his attention again."
~0~
As it turned out, fancying James Potter was harder than Lily had anticipated. Suddenly everything he said had an underlying message, and everything she couldn't do was an absolute and total failure in her eyes. Sharing a common room with him became impossible, and Lily gained the habit of biting her lip to keep a blush from rising to her cheeks.
And then someone asked her out to Hogsmeade. And she said yes.
Marlene and Alice looked at her like she was mad, and James avoided her eyes, but Lily couldn't explain herself to either of them.
"I don't know, I just… It was more spur-of-the-moment, I felt bad for him, and thought if I said no—" She started when Marlene and Alice cornered her right after.
"You've never had problems with turning people down, Lily, even nicely." Marlene retorted, looking completely and utterly incredulous.
"Well it's not like I could say I had a date, and everyone knows you're going with Sirius and Alice is seeing Frank, so unless I said I was going to spend Hogsmeade with the other Marauders—"
"Peter has a date, actually, though he won't tell us who he's going with—"
"Exactly, what was I to say?"
"Anything but yes!"
"Lily, you didn't even give James a chance to ask you out this time, the Hogsmeade trip is in three weeks—"
"Well he wasn't going to, okay?" Lily snapped. "He doesn't fancy me and I've made a fool of myself this past few days—"
"You have not, Lily—"
"And you two should be helping me get over him, not—"
"Lily! You said you'd try to get him to ask you out, not try to get over him!"
"Yes, well I've changed my mind—"
"Well change it back again, come on, Lily! You're Lily Evans! If you can't get your man, who can?"
"You two, apparently—"
"Lily, just stop worrying. Stop worrying and start flirting and dropping hints and then one day he'll ask you out, guaranteed."
"Or just catch him alone one night—shouldn't be too hard, you share a common room—and just start snogging him. I'm pretty sure he won't refuse—"
"That's so vulgar, though, Marlene, I want to do this properly."
"And she's still going to go to Hogsmeade with David—"
"Oh, right. Just tell him no then, will you?"
"I don't want to do that, he asked me in public and I said yes in public, and people will definitely talk—"
"Oh, why did you say yes, Lily?"
"No, this is good!"
"Marlene, there is no way Lily going to Hogsmeade with anyone but James is good."
"Well she wants to get his attention, right?" Marlene smirked at her friends. "And what better way to do that then to get him jealous?"
"Marlene!" Alice cried, shocked, but Lily had laughed at her mate and put her arms around her, leading her out of the abandoned classroom they had been standing in.
"Right, so flirting and dropping hints and making him jealous? I guess I'd have to get started, then." She said, and they walked into the Gryffindor common room.
"Well first you're going to have to find out what that parchment has got on it." Marlene muttered bitterly into her ear as they spotted the Marauders, huddled together over that damned piece of parchment again.
"You're the one dating one, you find out." Lily replied in a low voice before joining their other friends.
"Where were you?" James asked as Peter slipped the parchment away. He hoped his voice was one of normal curiosity and not bitter jealousy, but the look on his friends' faces suggested otherwise. Lily shrugged and took out her homework.
"What's on that piece of parchment?" She asked instead, smiling beatifically and batting her eyelashes. Marlene snorted behind her, and she turned to glare at her mate, missing the looks that the Marauders exchanged.
"Nothing." James replied when Lily had turned back to him.
"Then I was nowhere." Lily said in return, and began working on her homework.
The seven of them worked in relative silence for a while, before Sirius, as per usual, began to grow weary of the quietness. "So, Prongs, Lilykins, about the Halloween party." He started, pushing aside his work and leaning forward on his elbows. James and Lily looked up simultaneously, twin looks of apprehension on their faces.
"Actually, about the costumes." Sirius amended, and the faces changed to worried.
"Nothing harmful, Sirius, please." Lily pleaded.
"No, no, I'm just not quite sure what I should be or what type of costumes you're talking about. I mean, this is a muggle thing, not a wizards thing, and although I'm sure it will be great, I don't want to stand out as some strange… I dunno, an animal or something." Peter started to snicker, but at a glare from James managed to turn it into a strange cough.
"Anything, really." Lily replied. "I think most people like dressing up as something darker, like a ghost or a skeleton, but obviously it'll be different here. A lot of people also like having princess or prince costumes, people from stories or books. There are always witches and wizards, or fairies or the like, though I suppose it'll be different here."
"What are you going in—or, as?" James asked her.
"It's a secret." Lily grinned at him. "But let's just say I've been waiting to use this costume for a very long time."
"I bet you it's a muggle." Sirius announced. "Lily will come as a muggle, just to laugh at us all."
"No, it's not."
"You're going to disfigure your face." Sirius guessed again.
"I am going to do my homework right now." Lily replied.
"Is it an animal?" Sirius prompted.
"No, it's going to be a character from a book, isn't it?" James predicted.
"Oi, I'm the one in Divination."
"I know her better, I mean honestly Sirius, why would Lily disfigure her face or become an animal?"
"I have been Lily's mate for longer than you have—"
"James is right, now both of you shut up." Lily interrupted in annoyance.
"I am?" James asked, surprised.
"He is?" Sirius exclaimed at the same time.
"Yes, why is that so surprising?" Lily looked up. "Of course I'm going as a character from a book or story."
"Is it going to be an ugly person, a disfigured one?" Sirius asked a bit hopefully.
"I'm not giving you any more hints, now shut up and let me do my work."
"Yes ma'am." Sirius nodded, but got up instead of doing his homework, and went back up to the dormitory.
He came down a few moments later carrying a large and empty bag. "I'm off to the kitchens, anyone want to come?"
No one volunteered after Marlene did, and eventually Lily realised that it was almost curfew and headed off to her dormitory. James decided to leave as well, and at first Lily felt the familiar feeling of excitement and dread before remembering that she was going for a new, proper approach now, and that required a confident Lily.
So she bumped her hip with his and started a conversation, and soon they were laughing in their common room, their loads of homework forgotten.
"Blimey, is it that late already?" James asked, glancing at his watch. "And I haven't gotten all my homework done, this is your fault, Evans." He scolded her half-heartedly, and she grinned tiredly.
"I have work too, though, so at least we both have to stay up." She replied.
"Yes, but tomorrow will be a long day." James muttered to himself as they took out their homework.
"Why?" Lily asked. James jerked his head up as if just realising he had spoken.
"Wh—oh, nothing. No reason."
"You mean the reasons written on that piece of parchment or why I was nowhere earlier today?" Lily teased.
"Where were you?"
"Nowhere important, I'm serious this time, Marly, Alice and I were just talking in some empty classroom."
"About what? Whats-his-name, that bloke who's taking you to Hogsmeade in three weeks—honestly, who even asks three weeks in advance?"
"His name is David, and yes, we were talking about him, out of many things. And I think it's…" Lily struggled for a moment, remembering that she had to make him jealous—"sweet of him to ask me so far in advance, it's like he's…"
"Asking you to be his girlfriend from now until then and then hopefully afterwards, too—"
"We're not together, we're just going to Hogsmeade together."
"Never mind. Whatever. I have to finish my homework soon, anyhow."
"I do too, but I don't want too…" Lily sighed unhappily and began working.
"I'm just going to take a quick nap." Lily said, an hour later, yawning. "I still have work to do, so I can't go to bed yet, but a nap will be fine." She settled herself down beside James, leaning her head on his shoulder. He stiffened, but she didn't notice, only closed her eyes and sighed. "This is alright, right?" Feeling him shift his head, she craned her neck to look up at him. "You can still do your work like this?" She asked quietly. Somewhere in her tired mind, she noted that they were very close and she really wanted to kiss him, but she wasn't thinking properly enough for it to become a coherent thought.
"Oh, oh, yeah." James swallowed and nodded his head. She pretended not to see the blush on his cheeks, which was especially apparent in their closeness. "I can work with my right." He said.
"Good." Lily muttered happily, looping her arm around his and taking his hand. "Wake me up in ten minutes." She whispered, as her fingers intwined with his and she scooted a little closer to him.
Lily closed her eyes, hearing the beat of both their hearts in her ear and feeling their breaths, and she changed hers so that they were in sync, but she could do nothing about how fast his heart was beating when, to sleep, she needed to make hers slower. She could smell his cologne and hear the scratching of his quill on parchment as he took pains not to move his shoulder so she could sleep, and with his heartbeats the percussion and his quill and breathing the melody, she fell asleep to a soothing lullaby.
~0~
Lily woke up in a room that was not hers.
The bed was exactly like hers, and the door and windows in the same places, facing the same ways, but there was no way her room would ever have posters of the Puddlemere United, or have a trunkful of unfolded clothes haphazardly thrown in. Besides, those clothes were in no way hers.
She was also still in her school robes, which she definitely would have changed out of
if she had gone to sleep in her own room and of her own free will. A bit scared and unsure, Lily tried the door. It opened easily and she stepped out to see her common room, and James Potter snoring on the couch.
Smiling fondly, Lily walked over and woke him up. "Did you bring me to your room last night?" She asked when James was awake and sitting up.
"I…" James yawned. "Yeah, I did. Couldn't get up your stairs, same enchantment as the one on the girls' dormitory staircase back in Gryffindor tower."
"Well thank you, but you could've just woken me up."
"You looked so tired, though, and besides, I know how angry you can get sometimes when you're woken up." Lily blushed, and James grinned at her. "Now go get dressed, I will too. Don't want to miss breakfast, and you still have homework to finish."
Needless to say, by the time James was back downstairs, Lily was already down, rushing through her homework while a brush magically combed through her hair.
"Want me to do that for you?" James suggested, and then immediately regretted it. What was he talking about?
"I can do my own homework, thank you very much." Lily replied, scribbling something down.
"I meant your hair, but I'll let you copy off my homework, too, if you need to." James replied, sitting down beside her.
Lily turned to him, wide-eyed. "You know how to brush hair?" She demanded.
James rolled his eyes and, feeling a bit brave, reached over to stop the brush in its course along her hair. Avoiding her eyes, he gently pulled the brush through her hair, bringing it up again and working on another part of her hair as she watched him. He could feel her eyes on him, apprehensive and a bit suspicious, but he forced his beating heart to slow and his hands to steady.
Her hair felt almost exactly like he'd imagined it. He'd imagined it a bit less knotted, honestly, and he'd imagined running his hands through her hair as they kissed—and yes, he was running his hand through her beautiful, gorgeous red locks, but he was also brushing her hair for her, and that wasn't even close to kissing. But it was still soft and relatively smooth and still red, even this close, and it was long, past her shoulders, and James loved it, the way he loved everything about her.
Somewhere along the way Lily either finished her homework or gave up, leaning back as James massaged her scalp and ran the brush through her hair—he'd finished brushing it already, but he didn't want to stop and she'd let him continue. A contented sigh passed her lips and her eyes closed, and James, on impulse, swept her hair to one side of her head and was about to press his lips to her neck—but no, this was Lily Evans, the woman he swore he didn't have feelings for anymore, and although he was lying, no one else needed to know that, and this was Lily Evans, the girl who only recently began to let him into her life as someone she actually cared about, and there was no way he was going to jeopardise that.
"Done." He whispered into her ear instead, managing a smile.
"I guess you do know how to brush hair." Lily said, nudging him lightly before moving to get up. She grinned teasingly at him while flicking her wand to pack up and saying, "I couldn't be sure, since you never brush yours, and I didn't want my hair to end up even remotely like yours."
"You love my hair, Lily." James retorted, and they headed towards breakfast.
Maybe, in some other universe where James did kiss her neck or Lily had asked him out, Lily would have responded with a kiss and a you know I do whispered into his ear. But in this universe, Lily could only roll her eyes and let a smirk grace her face as she shook away the fantasy of running her hands through James' hair.
One day, she promised herself, and went to sit with Marlene and Alice to regale them with stories of last night.
"Well, Lily isn't the only one with stories to tell about last night." Marlene smirked and wiggled her eyebrows, causing her two friends to gasp and huddle closer.
"Oi, what are you three gossiping about?" Sirius demanded. "I got here five minutes ago and didn't even get a hello, let alone a kiss."
"Hello." Lily and Alice chorused, while Marlene went over to greet him 'properly.' Lily and Alice didn't get details of last night's 'kitchen run' until they were on their way to Ancient Runes, their third subject of the day.
"So are you two… serious, then?" Alice asked tentatively once Marlene had finished.
"I don't know… He doesn't really seem the type, and with the war and everything…" Marlene hesitated. "I don't want to say no, but I also can't say yes definitely. I think it's more of a… We like each other, we have fun together, and will continue to do so until one or both of them are no longer true, for whatever reason."
"How are you and Frank, by the way?" Lily asked Alice. "Has he proposed yet?" She teased.
"How are you and James, by the way?" Alice retorted. "Has he asked you out yet?"
"You know the answer and that's a completely different matter. You know Frank wants to propose."
"And you don't know that James wants to ask you out?"
"You're avoiding the question!"
"Because the answer is no and I don't know why! He visited his mother recently, after moving out, and he has a job now—not what he wants and it's alongside auror training, but it's still a job, and I can't seem to figure out why he hasn't asked yet!"
"Who hasn't asked what yet?" It was Sirius, with the other Marauders following close behind. In an instant, Sirius had put his arm around Marlene and James was by Lily's side.
"Don't look and don't freak out, but there have been some Slytherins following you." James said quietly. "They're never the same, but they have some sort of trading-off system."
"How do you know?" Lily whispered back. "And which ones are they?"
"Mostly in our year. We think they're following you, and not Alice or Marlene, but they could also be following Marlene. We think Alice might be safe, but we're not sure—"
"We can take care of ourselves, I'll have you know!"
"Here goes." Marlene muttered. "Lily, love, that's not the point—"
"We're not helpless." Lily told James and Sirius, who were looking a mixture of exasperated and sheepish.
"We know, Lily-flower, but you are our friends." Sirius replied. "And in my and Marlene's case, girlfriend, and we want to make sure you'll be safe, not because we don't think you can handle it, but because we worry."
"Well thanks, but we'll be fine." Lily replied.
"You know what, she's right. I suppose we'd better be off, then." James remarked, and turned on his heel to leave. Everyone in their party, including Lily, stopped in shock and turned to look at him in bewilderment; James never gave up like that, especially when it had to do with protecting his friends. Sirius and Lily exchanged a glance—but Remus was the first to follow James' line of sight and see that Snape had just joined the group following Lily.
"I think we should go." Remus said, and Sirius was the second to see Snape. Lily was the third.
"You're not going anywhere, and neither is he." She said darkly, and went after James.
The look on her face was all too familiar for the students at Hogwarts, and they had either vacated the hallway or moved to the sides within the time it took for Lily to reach him. What she did, however, was unexpected.
Everyone expected her to yell, to shout at him like she had in the common room a few days ago, and everyone was hoping for wands to come out—those were always the best fights, and Lily Evans thought of the best charms and spells to use on James. Instead, she talked to him.
"James, you promised." Lily said, laying a hand on his arm. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Sev—no, Snape's—face darken, and congratulated herself on hitting two birds with one stone. "And I know you want to and might even have reason to, but come on, James." She looked imploringly up at the boy—no, man—she fancied, moving a small step closer to him.
"You don't get it Lily, you think you do, but it's different for you." James turned to her, slipping his hand into hers and looking into her eyes. "It might be harder for you, even, but it's different, and…" James sighed, because he had made a promise to her, and he couldn't break it, nor could he do something she hated while she was pleading for him not to. Lily began to smile. "They even take out their wands and their dead." He muttered lowly, but followed Lily back to their group of friends, their linked hands swinging between them.
"Crisis averted." Lily announced happily, and led the way to their next class.
James and Lily didn't let go of each other's hand until they sat down at their desks.
~0~
Halloween came fast, a bit too soon for Lily's tastes, but that's what James had said, so she was never going to admit that. Thankfully, she had her costume done quickly enough, and in the hour everyone had to change into their costumes, between the Halloween feast and the actual party, Lily managed to be the first down, ready to go with James to the Great Hall to make sure the party started smoothly.
The four Marauders finally descended the staircase, (James had insisted on getting ready with them, which Lily didn't quite understand) dressed as the four Musketeers, down almost to a point except for the facial features. Of course.
"Lily, is that you?" Sirius demanded, and she smirked and curtsied.
"Who're you supposed to be?" James asked, looking her up and down. She was wearing an enormous dress, the kind the muggle elite and royalty used to wear—ball gowns, he was pretty sure they were called, no way near dress robes—and she was absolutely stunning, the dress a twinkling blue (he wondered what charm she used to make it sparkle—he'd ask her later) and her hair up in an elaborate bun but—to his horror—blonde.
"Cinderella." She replied with a grin, and James stopped wondering why in Merlin's name she would change her hair from red to blonde to what in Merlin's name Cinderella was.
"Who?" Sirius asked. "What book is that? Is that some sort of disease?"
"It's a fairy tale, Padfoot." Moony replied for Lily, grinning at her. "You know, like Tales of Beadle the Bard."
"What?" Lily frowned. "I don't know what those are."
"I've got a copy of it, you can borrow it." James said smoothly. "But seriously, who's Cinderella?"
"She's this girl who becomes enslaved by her step-family, but then her fairy godmother helps take her to the Prince's ball, and eventually she marries the Prince." Lily replied. "There's this whole thing about her glass slippers and them slipping off and him trying to find her, but it's not too important." Lily lifted her skirts, showing her glass shoes. "I finally managed to keep them from breaking, at least."
"And the character is blonde?" James asked, going back to his original point of interest.
"Well technically she doesn't have a set hair colour, but the version I know best portrays her as blonde with a blue dress, so I figured I might as well." Lily shrugged.
"Well you should keep it red." James said. "And also you missed a spot over there." James drew his 'sword,' where he kept his wand, and waved it around a few times. Lily's hair promptly turned red and her dress green.
"James!" She exclaimed.
"Oops." James replied with a grin. "It looks better this way, love, trust me."
Lily pursed her lips but couldn't keep the blush from rising to her face. She didn't change it back. "Well, James, we'd better be off. I think people have already started arriving and we aren't there yet."
"You two are going together?" Sirius demanded. It seemed to Lily that his voice had not changed since seeing her, and he was just going to be perpetually bewildered.
"No, but we're the Heads. We ought to be at our own party." Lily replied, trying to keep a blush off her cheeks. James' cheeks were tinged slightly red, but everyone ignored it, as they always did.
"Shall we, then?" James offered her his arm, and they headed off.
The party started relatively well, and the decorations perfect. The Marauders had only spiked one of the drinks and bewitched only two pumpkins to follow people and ask them 'trick or treat?' (Sometimes trick became treat and treat became trick, but the trick was never too bad.) Many of the teachers had come to congratulate James and Lily, but eventually they were able to relax and sit with their friends.
"I must say, Lily-flower," Sirius started, not drunk for once, "I wasn't quite sure when Prongs mentioned a Halloween party. I mean, I didn't want it to be some lame school party where we all tried to pretend not to hate each other, but I think it's going pretty well."
"Well then, you'll agree to dance with me." Marlene said immediately. "Since it's already better than you'd anticipated, it won't matter if it gets worse." She concluded.
"And how about Lily and James also show us how well you two have come along with your dancing lessons?" Alice suggested.
"Oh, that's a great idea, Alice!" Sirius crowed, and everyone else gave their agreements.
"Oh, no, I don't think so, I'm not very good, and we've only had one lesson, we've been too busy for more." Lily protested, but everyone knew they were half-hearted.
"And the music isn't for the dances we practiced—"
"I'll go and change it!" Sirius jumped up and took Wormtail with him, dragging him over to the man in charge of the music. They sat in silence for a while, slightly awkward, until he came bounding back, a grin on his face. "He said he'll change it after this song." He announced, and looked challengingly at James, who was glowering at him. He had told his best mate what had happened between him and Lily, and yet still Padfoot was encouraging them to dance again? What type of best mate was he?
"Then we'll both dance the next song." James retorted, and Sirius shrugged.
"Fine." He replied airily, and grinned at Marlene while James pouted.
He couldn't think of good excuses before the song ended, however, so when the song changed and everyone, including Lily, looked at him expectantly, he had to sigh and stand up, offering Lily his hand. She beamed and took it, and their friends cheered as they headed onto the dance floor. James shot them a glare as everyone else in the room looked first at the noisy group, and then at the couple they were cheering for, but Lily just blushed slightly, her small smile barely seen on her face.
"Oi, you two better get over here too!" James yelled at Sirius, who gracefully stood up and led Marlene to the dance floor. "Sorry about them." James started as he took her waist with one hand and her hand in the other. She settled her free hand on his shoulder.
"They're my friends too; I suppose I'd have to apologise just as much as you have to apologise." Lily replied. James started moving.
"Still." James insisted. "I know you don't like to dance, so…" Lily laughed, a quiet, tinkling sound, and James forgot the eyes boring into his back, because Lily was so pretty today, and she was always beautiful, but even more so today, and nothing else mattered but Lily. He pulled her closer, securing his hand behind her back and smiling at her.
It happened again, like it often happened when he danced, forgetting about the world, about everything but the music and the steps and his partner. Not even the other people on the dance floor were important, just him and Lily, and the way she laughed lightly when he twirled her, because he hadn't done that before, but she was graceful enough to take it in stride, and stop in front of him again, hand back on his shoulder.
And when the song ended, and they stopped moving, Lily kissed his cheek and led them back to their friends, smile still in place and looking happier than he had seen her in a long time.
"Saw that, Prongsie." Sirius joked, elbowing him in the side as they sat down.
"Saw what?" James asked back. Sirius gave him a look, and he sighed. "I'm gonna go get some drinks, anyone want anything?" He asked everyone.
"I'll come with you." Sirius said immediately, and Remus caught on soon enough, adding that he'd come too.
"Oh well then I suppose I ought to come to—" Lily started, getting up, but the boys quickly told her not to.
"We'll bring you what you want, Lils—" James suggested, while Sirius, at the same time, said, "You're a girl, it's not embarrassing for someone to get your drinks, especially if it's a guy, it'd just be embarrassing for me if Prongs got me a drink is all, but you can just stay here and wait prettily while we get you whatever you want."
"Take Peter too then, and take your time. I want to talk to Marlene and Alice for a while." Lily replied with an air of superiority that caused James and Sirius to gain more sheepish looks. "But I'd like a Butterbeer, thank you very much." Marlene and Alice, likewise, gave their orders, and the boys trudged off, Sirius looking a bit more dejected than before.
"I don't even want to leave anymore." He muttered as they moved towards the drinks table. "What do you think they're talking about?" He demanded, turning to Remus.
"Why are you asking me?" He responded, but James knew his friend too well.
"You do know what they're talking about!"
"I have a guess as to what they're talking about, which would be either the same thing we're currently talking about, or what we were going to talk about when we first left; that is to say, James and Lily and their relationship right now."
"Oh, right, that kiss, mate!" Sirius nudged his friend, who blushed.
"It was just a friendly gesture, a… thank you or something." He replied.
"She doesn't thank me that way, does she thank you that way, Moony?"
"No she doesn't, and there have been plenty of things to thank me for over the years. Wormy?"
"Nope. But I don't think she's ever thanked me, so that might be why." Peter spoke up for the first time, looking happy to have been acknowledged. James thought briefly that they should have tried to leave Peter so that he could listen in on their conversation, but that was too mean to suggest; Peter was a Marauder, and it wouldn't be right to converse without him, whether or not he actually contributed.
"Well we're good friends, and our relationship is different than that you the three of you." James shrugged. "We're around each other nearly every day, so we've just gotten really comfortable with each other is all. And I mean, Sirius, you and Lily are always joking around, but that would make her kissing or hugging you in a way that wasn't part of a joke strange, and thanking you without sarcasm would be one of those times. Moony, I don't know, it seems your relationship with Lily is more of a book relationship, you know, it's better if there's a book or some homework in between you two."
"Not true at all, James, Lily and I talk a lot—less now than before, and that I'll have to attribute to you—and she once told me that she seriously considered going out with me." James tripped, his Quidditch instincts managing to right him quickly enough for it not to be too embarrassing.
"What?!" He exclaimed, looking livid. "She said what?" Remus frowned at his friend.
"I thought you were over her—I mean, you didn't even suggest we go after that bloke who asked her out the other day—"
"Moony. I need you to tell me when, where, and what, exactly, she said." James looked at his friend. "I am being entirely serious about this."
"Oh, I don't know, sometime in fifth year I think, she was complaining about something—probably Snivellus—and let slip that she once considered going out with me, so I asked her to elaborate. She said she didn't quite fancy me, but it was in that stage where she really liked me or something—I didn't quite get it and I can't fully remember what she said—and then she also mentioned making you angry by going out with your best mate, but then I made it clear to her that I don't date and she agreed that we were better off as friends. And also both alive." Remus shrugged with a small grin. "Obviously I didn't tell you at the time, since you were still completely besotted with her, but now you're over her, and—"
"Remus, I'm not over her." James groaned, passing a hand over his face. "Remus, I'm more in love with her than I've ever been, and I've been trying my best not to, but it's not working and—" James broke off just as they reached the drinks table, and they all turned to look at him. "You three have to help me. Get over her, stop being so in love with her, stop trying to flirt, even, since I always mess it up anyway, just do something about this—" James took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I've told you three already almost all the times I nearly—I basically told her I loved her, mate. That time we argued, before Remus' furry little problem, she was apologising to me and I told her… That I would rather I hate her than she hate me." James looked at his friends worriedly. "Do you think… That I messed up?"
"Well she's still your friend, so I'd say no." Sirius replied.
"If you don't want her to fancy you, then yes." Remus said next. "If you do want her to fancy you, then I think you've been doing alright, because I reckon she's starting to really like you, mate." The other three Marauders looked at Remus in shock. "What?" He asked defensively. "She kissed you on the cheek, mate, she hugged you when she apologised, she held your hand that one time, she let you tell her how her costume should be like, and if she didn't like you I'm pretty sure she'd be sick of you by now, with the amount of time you two spend together."
"You think Lily Evans fancies me." James whispered, as if it were too far-fetched an idea to be saying out loud.
"I think she's on her way there."
"No bloody way, Moony." James said, and the other two nodded their heads vigorously in agreement.
Remus shrugged. "Evans seems like the type of person who will really get to know someone before fancying them—you know, the whole personality over attractiveness thing a lot of girls pretend to have, except Lily isn't pretending. I mean, you're obviously attractive, but she's dated boys not very attractive, and she said she was considering going out with me, and we all know how attractive I am."
"Moony, your attractiveness has never been the problem for you, it's been your inability to believe you deserve to go out with anyone at all!" Sirius rolled his eyes.
"Either way, I do think she could possibly fancy you one day in the pretty near future."
"I do recall her once telling me that she'd go out with me if it were a choice between joining Voldemort or going out with me, but then she also once said that she wouldn't go out with me even if I were the last man alive and we needed to be the new Adam and Eve. Remus, even though she doesn't hate me anymore, doesn't mean she likes me all that much."
"Yeah, Moony, it's been three months since their friendship started, don't throw this into the mix!" Sirius added.
"Oh…" Remus huffed, annoyed, and turned to Peter. "You seem like a more objective, third party type of person, Wormtail, what do you think?"
"I honestly don't think she likes you, mate." Peter said apologetically. Remus groaned. "I mean, I'm not as close with her as you all are, and I do hope she fancies you, for your sake, but this is Lily Evans we're talking about. She's clever, she's cunning. There's a possibility she's doing all of this simply because now that you're friends, you're behaving now. She can control you, like that time she kept you from duelling with Snivellus or all those times you said we couldn't do something because Evans didn't say we could. I'm sorry, Prongs, but you're not really yourself anymore and it's because of her."
"Which isn't always a bad thing, though, Wormtail." Sirius pointed out. "I didn't like it at first either, but now I see that James is a better person. Perhaps a little bit too conscious now, but it's not like she's tearing us Marauders apart, now, is she? We don't spend as much time just the four of us, but we still have enough time together that we can get the important things done." A look showed that what Sirius meant by 'important stuff' weren't the pranks, but Moony's transformations and the map, their big project since they became animagi.
"Sometimes without James." Peter replied.
"That's the Head Boy-ship's fault, not ours." Remus said. "Lily is a great person, Peter, I don't know why you'd think she'd try to sabotage us."
"Not us, just James. She's hated him for a really long time."
"What if she doesn't even like me at all…" James muttered, crestfallen. Sirius glared at Peter and gave him a look he hoped was understood as 'I don't think you're right, but even if you are we're going to pretend you're not because Prongs is happier that way and we don't want to break his heart again like that' or something along those lines. Peter wasn't always the best at reading facial expressions, and this one was particularly complicated.
"No mate, she does like you, at least as a friend." Sirius said. "Look Prongs, we don't know if she fancies you. The general guess is no, but we're all pretty sure she's at least genuine in being your friend. Lily's too nice to be like that."
"Yeah, you're right." Peter, thankfully, said, catching on. "I meant that maybe the kissing and hand-holding doesn't actually mean she fancies you, that that's a pretty far-fetched idea."
"Yes, I agree, and are you finished with your own arguments, Remus?" James asked, and Remus nodded, a bit despondent. "So now that you're done with that strange interrogation that didn't end up an interrogation and only an agreement that Lily Evans does not fancy me, something I never thought she did, now what?" James asked again, exasperated.
"Now," Remus said, handing James a drink, "we get these drinks to the girls and act as normal as possible. We are not going to watch James and Lily any more than usual, and you, Prongs, you are going to be best mates with Lily Evans again, just like you have been this past few weeks."
"We're best mates?" James asked.
"You treat each other like it." Remus replied, as everyone got their drinks and drinks for the girls. "And that's all that matters."
By this time, of course, Lily and her mates had already finished with their own chat. Lily had no problems trying to guess James' feelings; if he didn't still fancy her, she was going to make him fancy her again. It shouldn't be too hard, as she hadn't tried at all the first time, unless you count discouraging him. Marlene and Alice gave opinions on how best to flirt with him and gain his attention.
"The whole jealousy thing is good, I think, but you're going to have to spend more time with David if you want it to work." Marlene said.
"That kiss on the cheek was good." Alice supplied. "Try for hair flips—I think he really likes your hair—and maybe pet names? Mostly love, I guess, you could try baby? That's really big in America right now. Wonder what he'd think if you called him Prongs?"
"And wear clothes that accentuate your breasts." Marlene added. "They're not as great as mine, but he's loved them for years, I don't see why he won't find them adequate for another year." (that one got a good retort and a glare.)
"And go off to places with him, alone. Make him take you to the kitchens!" Alice exclaimed, giving a sly look at Marlene.
"Oh, and bite your lip! Bat your eyelashes more, and if you won't wear heels, sway your hips more. Laugh at all his jokes, even when they're not funny—oh, well, that might be a bit overkill, actually…"
Eventually they had finished giving Lily tips, and turned the conversation to more mundane things, things that they were okay with the boys hearing.
Lily observed briefly, when the Marauders finally returned with drinks, how easily the two groups of friends became one group of friends, and how each person seemed to have an automatic place; James next to Lily, who was beside either Remus or Sirius, who was beside Marlene, then Alice, then Peter. And if James put his arm around her sometime during their conversation, or she took his hand or lay her head on his shoulder as the party went on late, no one even said a thing.
~0~
She got him to take her to the kitchens the next night she could. It couldn't be too soon, and anyway, they had started going to bed a little earlier as their teachers had rewarded their great party—which they had also enjoyed immensely—by lightening up their workload a little bit; and after having to plan the Halloween party on top of doing their regular work, it seemed easy to finish whatever homework they had before midnight, especially when they were all working together to help each other.
But eventually, after the next three times Sirius suggested a kitchen run (bringing Marlene with him) and did not return, Lily suggested someone else go.
She wondered if she was being a bit too blatant about this, looking at James pointedly as she said it, an even worse performance than that at the Halloween party, when she tried to pretend not to want to dance—she had never been much of an actor. But then again, she supposed it didn't matter, not while the people here who didn't know she fancied him were only one, Peter, and she wanted James to find out she fancied him; and to realise he fancied her back.
"You did promise me you'd take me to the kitchens," she reminded him, and he sighed, though it wasn't a heavy sigh, and Lily knew him well enough to know he'd take her.
"It'll be all your fault if we get caught." Was all he said to her, before turning to the others and asking them what they wanted.
"I'll probably be asleep by the time you get back, I'm almost finished with this." Remus replied, and Alice said she had some food still, so didn't need any, and Peter said nothing, not while it would distract him from finishing his work.
So the pair set off, taking their work with them with every intention of going to the kitchens, getting food, and returning to their own common room to finish their homework. Lily, as she had been doing more and more these past few days, slipped her hand into his as they walked and talked quietly—it was not yet curfew, although evidently James suspected it would be by the time they left.
James wondered briefly, although many times, if she had altered her clothes somewhat. He didn't remember it showing so much skin at times, although he supposed that it could be after seeing her in that dress during Halloween which could be causing his imagination to get worked up; it certainly wouldn't be the first time James thought about Lily in that way, and he was sure it wouldn't be the last. He also wondered if her laugh always sounded like that, or if it had changed; but no, she had laughed normally enough earlier in the Gryffindor common room, so perhaps he'd just never heard that type of laugh before, as she had rarely laughed around him before they were friends.
This thinking, of course, was done in short spurts in the companionable silences that they shared every-so-often; James had quickly learned that Lily could talk on and on in the morning or afternoon, if it were a subject she found interesting, but towards the end of the day she grew more silent and less talkative. He didn't mind much; he had also learned how easily it was to fall asleep when you had been sitting the past few hours with someone in silence, working separately and using each other only for the feeling of companionship—especially compared to the past few years, he supposed, when he and Sirius, if not the other Marauders, would often fall asleep laughing at each other or stay up far later than intended, just talking.
Eventually they reached the kitchens, after a few detours that James decided to take just to prolong their time together—a ridiculous notion, since they shared living space—and James stood proudly in front of the portrait, a silly grin on his face.
"This is a joke." Lily said. "This is some stupid prank you and Sirius pulled—oh, and I bet Marlene is in on it as well, I bet they're hiding somewhere, and are watching me so I can make a fool out of myself in front of them—no, I will not do the honours and tickle the pear." James shrugged.
"Suit yourself." He turned to the painting, and reached over to tickle the pear. It giggled, to Lily's great astonishment, and promptly turned into a doorknob, as always.
"Lily." James turned to look Lily straight in the eye, completely serious this time. "I don't quite know who else comes to the kitchens—it's sort of some unspoken rule not to ask who else comes down here, as we are the general providers for Gryffindor tower—others might know of its existence and location, but not come often—but there are other providers for the other houses, and we don't ask. But I do know that no Marauder has ever brought another person into the kitchens." Lily furrowed her eyebrows and opened her mouth to say something, but he continued, "Sirius promised me he had Marlene wait while he asked the house elves to prepare a meal for them and put it in the room they were to stay in."
"You didn't have to take me if it were such an important secret, James." Lily said, at once feeling a bit guilty and yet also quite proud and foolishly happy to be the first special person to be brought to the kitchens.
"But I promised you I would, and I want to." James replied. "And Remus and Wormtail didn't seem to have any objections to it, and I know Sirius won't object, he'll just bring Marlene here. I just…" James' hand went up to his hair, a habit he now only did in front of her if he was really nervous. "I wanted you to know that this place holds a lot of memories for me, is all, and the elves are part of our Hogwarts family, in a way. And that I'm willing to share this all with you, and… The kitchens were always sort of a safe haven for us, if you know what I mean. And I want you to see it that way too. And I want you to love the house elves like we do. Anyway, it's almost as if you're already a Marauder." He joked lamely, and she smiled uncertainly. "Er, right, well, let's go in then, shall we?"
Having only met one house-elf in her life, Lily was a bit overwhelmed by the sheer number of them in Hogwarts. And also how James seemed to know all of them, greeting them by name and introducing Lily so quickly she caught nothing.
"And what would Mr. Potter like?" A house-elf squeaked.
"Er…" James looked at Lily, who shrugged.
"Whatever you want, James." She said with a smile.
"Surprise us." James told the house-elf. The house-elf bustled off, and James led Lily to a table—it was too small for them, but they enlarged it in order to sit down properly at it.
"So how long have you known about this place?" Lily asked as they watched the house-elves bustle about.
"Stories from my dad, and Sirius knew about it too, I think. One of the first places we ever went to, the four of us. These house-elves have known us since we were 'ickle firsties,' as Peeves likes to call them. Used to hate it when he said that about us, but I have to say, pretty apt."
"James! Just because they're not fully grown does not give you the right to call them tiny or… 'ickle'"
"I didn't, Peeves does. I'm just not disagreeing."
"I expect he's been pretty disheartened this year, with you Marauders pulling less pranks."
"Nah, now he's got the whole place to himself. We used to have to argue with him, pull pranks on him to show him who was boss and all that, so that he wouldn't try to bust us while we were working. He's quite loud when he wants to be. We got caught by Filch so many times in first year." James laughed, launching into a story about running through the castle with Peeves and Filch at their heels, and Lily smiled at him.
"It's a bit sad that we're leaving, isn't it?" She said when he had finished, sighing sadly.
"Well we've still got plenty of months before then, and I'm planning on making the most of them. I want no regrets in this last year."
"No regrets." Lily repeated. "I wish I could say that I have no regrets from my years here in Hogwarts, but…"
"Oh, I definitely have regrets about the past few years. I'm just trying to make up for them now, this year."
"And what are some of your regrets?"
"Being an arrogant toe-rag, of course."
"Of course!"
"And asking you out."
"Pardon?"
"I mean, I wish I'd done it right, y'know? Not that asking someone out isn't right, but… I wish I'd done all that the right way, getting to know you first, getting you to like me instead of hate me."
"Is that what you're doing now?"
"Wha—No, Lily, I mean—I'm your friend. I don't need to be anything else."
"Well—" Lily was cut off by the house-elf, coming back with the treacle tart that they sometimes served at dinner. "That's my favourite!" She exclaimed. "How did you know?"
"They know everything about everyone, Evans," James laughed and winked at the house-elf, who misinterpreted it and piped up, "Mr. Potter often talks about Ms. Evans, Miss. He often talks of your favourite food, colour—"
"All right, that's enough, thank you." James interrupted, blushing.
"Yes, thank you very much." Lily grinned at the tiny house-elf, and went to work on her dessert. "You can have some too, you know, they made a big one." Lily stated, offering the plate to James. Still blushing, he picked up a fork and took a bite. "Tell me about the best prank you've ever pulled." Lily said, mostly just to get him to stop being so tense.
It worked, and they talked for hours more, even after they had no more food left, and even did a bit of their homework at the table, tiptoeing back to their dorms in the middle of the night, looking over their shoulders for Filch or Mrs. Norris or the notorious poltergeist of James' stories.
Okay you guys really have to give me CC on their characterisation. I've put a lot of effort here into character development and stuff like that, making it as un-OOC as possible and everything, so please tell me if you think I did it wrong. :) Thanks for reading! Reviews are my inspiration and will help me write
