It was the silence before the storm. No one moved, no one even dared to breathe. Is it possible? Did the prince just accept a gift? Who is this woman? Though no one spoke those were the thoughts that raced within everyone's suddenly very sober minds that seemed to be screaming in a million different directions. Then like the crack of a crisp whip, the sound of a glass hitting the floor awoken everyone and thing. Movement. Sudden and violent too. Bodies huddled together at first, then turning toward the stage to meet the newest addition to the Persian harem. But I wasn't there. Not anymore.
Though I too had been shocked by Garsiv's response that was only the initial feeling. Then everything went dark. I resorted back to my most basic sense- my hassansin sense. As if the world was suddenly enveloped in molasses, I moved with practiced ease, standing and becoming one with the crowd of on lookers long before anyone even began moving. Turning toward the door I reached out and swatted an elegant ruby encrusted wine goblet from the fat hand of some unknown man. Chaos ensued as I knew it would. People are predictable. Zolm's voice hissed in my ear. Shatter their calm, their normal- and everything changes. Watch as they turn so quickly on those they called "friends". I closed my eyes and placed my hand on my head. No. I'm not that person anymore. My fingers began to tingle as bodies pushed by me toward the stage. Everyone was so focused on getting as close as possible to seeing the "woman" most of them didn't even realize they were standing right beside me. I made my move toward the door, ready to leave this madness behind me.
The handles felt heavy in my hands as I opened the doors to the empty hallway. The clean air rushed to greet me and wrapped itself around my exposed body. The hallways were empty; free of the stuffy air and hot bodies. I took a deep breath and walked down the reflective hallway, marveling in the simple masterpiece that it was. Wrapping my arms around my shoulders I felt the fabric of my dress sway with each step. The fine white garment felt awkward and uncomfortable, even it knew I didn't belong in this world of delicacy. Suddenly the walls didn't feel as welcoming as they did before, they began to bear down with an unbelievable pressure that suffocated everything I was. Everything I had wanted to become. No not again. I'll never be shackled again. I looked forward, down the hallway and unwrapped my arms. I took a step forward. Then another. And another.
It was all a blur. The darkness had faded away the color and orientate details of the once brightly lit hallway; even the light coming from the torches placed along the wall seemed to be snuffed out by the suffocation. Cold stone pressed against my bare feet as I raced through the hallway, hoping I would be able to outrun this looming danger. Golden hair flowed out behind me in unison with my white gown, which, although lovely to be hold, was not designed for running. Basically everything I was wearing was not designed for running, or fast movement at all. It was alien to me.
Rounding a corner, I came to the familiar double doors of the place I had called home for the last week. With breath lightly labored, I stopped before the wooden doors and gripped the golden handles tightly, suddenly overcome with another emotion that flowed violently through my veins and built up this feeling deep within my stomach. Many years had passed since I allowed myself to feel this way, I'd always told myself it would get me nowhere, for I'd seen what it had done to others- driving them mad and forcing them to make mistakes for they could not think properly. But…now…now I felt it too, and I didn't want to hold it back. I wasn't just angry- I was furious.
Throwing the doors out behind me, so they bounced off the walls with a loud BANG that echoed off the empty walls of the hallway,I stormed into the room. Picking up the nearest, breakable, item I flung a delicate vase at the wall. CRACK! Pieces of the pottery flew through the room, radiating from the wall, relieving only a small portion of the anger the welled up inside of me. I felt the jewels from the tiara bounce lightly off my forehead. Ripping the golden circlet off my head I too flung it across the room, only to have it bounce off the wall instead of shattering. Suddenly, a new feeling set in as I watched the tiara settle on the floor, unbroken and perfect. Pushing the golden bands down my arms, and flinging them too across the room, the foreign sensation gathered in my chest and forced my breath to come out in shallow, small gasps. My mind was blank, and all I could really feel was the need and desire to break something- anything. Turning my attention to the room, I picked up another larger vase and flung that too. It shattered into large bits, but didn't help the feeling go away.
"I…can't…" I gasped running my hands through my hair, unable to form any kind of coherent thought. So I just went back to destroying things- at least that helped a little bit.
I took a step toward the bed, ignoring the sharp pangs of pain as my feet stepped on the sharp edges of the broken pottery, and threw off the delicate covers flinging them across the room into a mess on the floor. Snaking my hands under the mattress I searched for my concealed blade- I needed something sharp to help me destroy more things. Cold metal touched my fingertips as I found the blade and withdrew it from under the bed. In the candlelight the polished metal reflected the crazed woman that stared back at me. Her blonde hair no longer perfect as it returned to its semi-curled self, pieces sticking out here and there, black eye makeup smeared around her eyes making them appear almost hollow. And they were hollow. The green eyes that once showed so much defiance looked dead and empty.
"No." I muttered, looking away from the blade. I placed it on the bed before me and rested my hands on the soft mattress. I will not let myself be confined. I will not allow myself to chained down any longer. I am free. With my right hand I gripped the blade, the cloth wrapped hilt seemingly radiated with the power I needed to calm raging nerves.
I accept this gift. Well it worked for a second. Anger rolled from the very core of my being and flooded every sense. Spinning, I flung the blade at the wall with such force that the sharp blade sunk itself deep into the stone wall. Returning my attention back to the bed, in one fluid motion, flipped the mattress off it's post and across the room.
A few moments later, practically everything in the room was destroyed, the only thing I had decided to spare was the pillows. I liked the pillows. Mirrors were shattered, every vase broken, and after a few moments of struggling, I had managed to get my dagger out of the wall and rip the mattress to ribbons. Now, finding nothing else to destroy, I sat on the floor of the balcony and watched the stars reaching across the horizon. Something tickled my foot, and as I looked down I found tiny bits of glass and pottery sticking out with blood painting them red. Crossing my legs I picked out the pieces bit by bit, flinching as a new releases of pain shot through my nerves.
The ground began to vibrate as hurried footsteps moved down the hallway, but I paid them no heed, knowing fully well who made their way toward my room. Or rather what remained of my room.
"Laleh!" The doors burst inward, causing small clinks to come from the debris on the floor as Tus strode into the room; boldly at first but as he glanced around his pace slowed. I peered over my shoulder watching Tus in silence waiting to hear his next words, but he said nothing as he observed the wreckage until he noticed me sitting on the balcony. "What is this?"
"Hmmm." I looked back out at the horizon. "There was a bug."
"A bug?"
"Yes; big one too. As large as my hand."
"Laleh."
"Yes?" I peered over at him again as he frowned deeply, clearly disappointed. Anger boiled forth from my veins once more.
"Do not stare at me as such, oh mighty prince Tus." My words dripped with venom. "Was it not you who promised me my freedom?" I stood up, ignoring the pain from my raw feet. "Was it not you who said his brother would reject me? Was it not you!?" Tus remained silent as the servants behind him seemed to shrink away, recoiling with every step I took toward the prince. "And now…now…" I stood before the prince as his face remained stoic. My anger continued to rise as I stared into his brown eyes, so similar to Garsiv's. "Now…" I raised my fist and hit him once on the chest, but he only swayed slightly and remained stoic. I hit him again and again, hot tears running down my face. "Now…!" Tus firmly grabbed my wrist to stop the beating and forced me to look him in the eye.
"Now you are trapped forever." The words ran through me sharper than any blade, slicing my heart and rocking my resolve. "And for that you have my deepest sympathies, my dear Laleh."
