The flapping of fabric is his only warning before the blaring rays of the morning sun hits him square in the face. It is Steve's favorite way of waking Tony up no matter how late or rather how long he spent in his lab on a science binge. Later when Tony hired Pepper as his personal assistant, she adopts the method enthusiastically to his annoyance. So it is with little wonder Tony feels the rude awakening as both familiar and out of place. He is half expecting JARVIS to comment on the weather and report on the NYSE.
What he gets, is Tanna reciting his schedule like an old pro while hearing her flit about his room picking up the mess he made of the empty boxes and torn wrapping papers.
"Good morrow, Prince Anthony. Prince Thor wishes for your attendance at the East wall training field after you break your fast. There, Hogun the Grim shall test your mettle until the midday supper. Afterwards, you are free to do as you wish unless of course, you wish to join Prince Thor and the Warriors Three to the Red Cockerel once more?"
Pulling his head out from the pillow he'd burrow under, Tony valiantly opens one eye to locate the ever mobile elf. Oddly enough, Tanna has her head bury inside the trunk.
"Huh?"
Okay, maybe not his most elegant, but Tony didn't remember ordering an itinerary last night. After three nights of not being able to sleep (being knock-out drunk the second day didn't count), he was finally able to sleep like a baby listening to Rachmaninoff's piano concerto no.2. Imagine that, if he knew Pepper's choice in music did the trick so easily Tony would have employ that method years ago, although more sleeping means less time for science so maybe not.
Bleary-eyed, he sat up slowly and rubs the sleep from his eyes. Feeling something choking him, Tony clumsily unwrap the cords from the headphones tangle around his neck and shoulders, before tucking the music player and all beneath his pillow. When he refocuses his attention again, the room is neat and tidy, like magic, or Tanna's as fast as Steve in a marathon. Tony doesn't believe in that hocus pocus reference from the Norse myths or any other ancient stories. He always maintained that magic is just advance science people couldn't explain yet. Or base on his observations so far, enhance beings with equally enhance animals, eliminating the need for innovation. These Asgardians, Elves, Dwarves, Krees, and who knows what else are just genetically built hardier than humans. Their evolution started earlier in the scheme of things, however given the account of mutants and science induce changes on the rise over the past century, Tony can safely say humanity is catching up. Not all embrace the changes naturally, but that morbid topic is not something he wants to tackle first thing in the morning.
Last night, he'd stash most of the presents along with the samples Mortan gave him in the trunk except for the small picture frame. That, he place on the vanity. Tanna didn't seem curious by any of the additions she found when she retrieves a set of clothes for him to wear. A black leather ensemble with what looks like a grey long sleeve thermal.
"Prince Anthony, last evening you specify as part of my duties is to keep track of your schedule, I have done just so," remarks Tanna while she place the outline of clothes at the foot of the nest. Per usual, it's her not so subtle way of showing Tony how it should be worn without actually saying so.
Scratching the back of his head as is his habit, Tony comments playfully in return, "Yeah, but I don't recall getting the memo—er message on that schedule. Do I even have a say? Like not go? Or like, hm, I prefer that without the jacket and just the low slinging belt will do just fine? Also, what does testing my mettle even mean? And why the hell would I want to go back to the Red Cock? I'm pretty sure now that's not included as part of the boundary you guys drawn up."
Frowning at his words, Tanna purses her lips as if she's debating something internally or just trying not to laugh. Kudos to her professionalism, she manages a straight face after all.
"Tis customary for the Alpha to woo his Betroth by demonstrating his ability to provide care and protection. Tis also customary for the Alpha's pack to aide him in his courtship by demonstrating their abilities to the Betroth as well."
A slow smile draws on Tony's lips when he realizes what is different about her today and he teases accordingly. Tony leans forward and braces his elbow atop his knees so that he can prop his chin on the palm of his hand.
"My, how forthcoming with info you are today. I kind of miss the old Tanna and her rosy cheeks."
Her eyes turn beady for a second before she tilts her head up as her spine stiffens.
"I know not what you mean, your grace. I am merely regurgitating the text I translated for your perusal."
Tony snorts at her deflection, "I'm sure you are, but you're not acting all missish on me. What's changed?"
At that, the colors on her cheeks blossom and Tony feels perversely justified that he isn't the only one to do so around here.
"Tis nothing to fuss over. Now, would your highness kindly rise from the beddings so that we may begin the day? You may wear your outfit however you please. I merely suggest you take care to dress for the occasion. Hogun the Grim is not known for his leniency."
Not minding to be dismissed for a change of subject, Tony promptly slid out of the nest and does a few back cracking stretches before he asks offhandedly, "So… when you say Hogun is going to test my mettle and add the bit about pack mates demonstrating and stuff… I'm guessing he's going to run me through a gauntlet of some such?"
Tanna stops fixing his bedding set in favor of frowning again, "Your word choice is most colorful. You do not use the word by definition but rather in substitution or another hidden meaning entirely, such as your usage of the word 'cool'. I find it perplexing to decipher."
Despite dressing in only a thin layer of dressing gown probably been outdated since circa nineteenth century, Tony didn't feel uncomfortable at all when he turns to face her directly. One of the few good things about not going through heat yet is that he doesn't have to suffer through embarrassing morning wood for long. Sadly that is the only time Tony's been able to get an erection.
"On Midgard, we have hundreds of languages that are spoken. New words get added to the popular lexicon all the time, including slangs, which are words that are used indirectly from its original meaning."
With a bit of finality, Tanna nods to herself most like, and resumes her work, "Then I shall keep a list of Midgardian words and slangs as you use it, Prince Anthony. So 'cool' means good and 'run through a gauntlet' means?"
It's his turn to rummage through the trunk to look for his toiletry bag and his bracelet when he replies, "It means obstacle course, a test of sorts. Is that what Hogun is really planning?"
"Ah! Aye, tis precisely what is planned for the next couple of days."
This stops Tony up short. Grabbing the stuff he needs, he straightens back up to say, "So Thor plans to court me via his pack mates? That is what I have to look forward to? Not dinner and a movie, but bruises and sweat? Man that blows."
They now swap places, Tanna with her back facing him is placing the clothe items he objected to away, while Tony is at the foot of the nest disrobing.
"Albeit, I can guess what 'that blows' mean, what is a 'movie'?"
His voice comes out muffle as he just pulls the dressing gown over his head, "It's a moving picture that Midgardians created to tell a story, it has sound and everything."
After Tony manage to slip the leather pants on, Tanna stands before him, with her eyes downcast, she hands over the thermal shirt and a crop vest, despite his objection to the jacket. After putting on the shirt, his lips twist into a moue when she meets his eyes.
"Do not pout so, my lord. You must wear something to protect your torso. Alas, I would like to see this 'movie'. It sounds diverting. Do Midgardians' woo by entertainment?"
"Yeah, that's the trend for most human cultures. It's one of the ways to find out each other's interest before things get too serious. We call it dating on Midgard," comments Tony while he's busy lacing up the vest and slips on a pair of mid-calf black boots that Tanna immediately helps adjust the buckles for a better fit.
Standing before the vanity like all the other times, Tony stares for a bit in every which way. The past days of long tunics, blousy shirts and weighty jackets and vests were too much. The thermal shirt is just long enough to reach pass the seam of his waistband by an inch or two, thereby showcasing his butt and provide a peekaboo hint of skin when he moves about. The glow from his arc reactor didn't even penetrate through the fabric, although the circular outline still shows. Like the previous leather pants, it is comfortable and formfitting, but instead of laces, it has a crotch flap with a side buckle that looks complementary with the low slinging belt and the pair of leather vambrace. In spite of his earlier distaste, the crop vest is the perfect fit for the ensemble. Not only did it hide the outline of the arc reactor, it doesn't make him look bulky at the chest, but actually frames his pecks and accentuates the length of his lower torso. Tony likes. A lot.
"I like it. Can I have a few more with variations? Like a short sleeve or crop shirt version? In different colors maybe? What do you think? Tanna? Tanna?"
Tony turns around and caught the look on her face. He couldn't help the evil chuckle even if he tried. Yeah, he still got it.
Sniffing at his ridicule, Tanna primly tilts her chin up and responds with as much dignity as her red cheeks can afford her, "Certainly. In reminder, the transcript for the translations and the map you have requested are place on the table yonder. Is there anything your highness should like my help with?"
Knowing he'd probably worn out the number of blushes he can raise from her, Tony relents and brings back a semblance of princely decorum he's been taught with.
"Ahem. Ah, thanks. I'll take a look at them later and yes, there is something else. Can you check whether I can convert the horse smith's forge for my own personal use? And don't take no for an answer. After lunch, I would like you to show me where the place is and help me tidy it up."
"I believe there should be no objections. The horse smith and his apprentice are in part those who were asked to vacate the castle manor. No one else should be using it during the interim. I shall escort you then, Prince Anthony."
Breakfast is overrated.
It only took a few elves openly gawking at him that Tony sends Tanna to pack a to-go box and hightail out of the dining hall. Sure, he gets the whole being a novelty bit. Tony enjoys being the center attention most times, that isn't his problem. What he didn't care for is being treated like a circus animal expected to perform tricks or some sort when none of the royals are around.
So here he is, eating on the go with a sandwich he mash together from a large piece of toast, crumble cheese and a slab of meat that tastes like smoke ham as he nears the training grounds.
Dusting off some crumbs, Tony stood at the top of the hill looking down at the field, however calling it that would be an understatement. It is more like a semi-circle gladiator arena sunken into the ground, complete with leveled tiers of spectator seats. An array of weapons adorns the flat of the East wall.
He'd seen video footage of the dignitaries presenting their warriors to conduct their ceremonial mock fight before. The elves were fast and elegant, the dwarves were forceful and brutal, while the Krees are similar to the officers from Nova Corps, using efficient moves in combination of handheld weapons and military take down tactics.
This is the first time Tony sees the Asgardians' fight. Even from afar, Thor's pack mates are grunting and hacking at each other on full swing. Tony gets where the Viking bit fits in. They are holding nothing back as the clash of their chosen weapons sparks at each block and collision. While the big guy himself is leaning against the arena wall talking animatedly with an almost as tall humanoid, though minus the bulk, dress in greenish black leather trench coat. Tony briefly caught the back of the person when Tanna for some odd reason moves to stand in front of him, blocking his view.
"Hey, what's the big idea?"
Tony moves around her and the tall, dark stranger is gone. Scanning the area out of curiosity, the person is nowhere to be found, while the group acts like no one's there to begin with. Huh, he couldn't be seeing things.
"Anthony! I am pleased that you are to join us!"
This is one place where Thor's booming voice lends itself to good use in stating the obvious, but it isn't like Tony has a choice at this point. The courting ball is in Thor's arena and yes he's mixing metaphors. Deal.
Taking each tier down like stairs, Tony eventually makes his way towards Thor who has move to meet him at his end of the arena while his pack mates converge as well. Knowing the drill by now, Tony raises a hand for his Betroth to take and the big guy kisses his knuckles again before helping him down. It is then when Fandral is already flanking his other side, uses that excuse and place both hands on his waist.
Tony has never seen anyone move so fast, perhaps Steve maybe. All he sees is the end pose, Thor's other fist extended and Fandral landing flat on his back at a fifth row, out cold.
Volstagg's belly laugh is instantly join by the others and if Tony heard a disembodied deep chuckle nearby, no one seem to mind.
Forgoing the mystery for now, Tony does what he does best and offers a one liner, "I guess it's time for his nap?"
Tanna wasn't kidding when Tony returns back to his room five nights in a row completely exhausted with barely enough strength to do anything else except recover. If it weren't for her weird bittersweet concoction she gave him every night, his muscles would have suffered from fatigue on the first day of exams. And it is all one big test in a weird pack mate hazing type of way. They each took a round with him, even Thor.
Day one, Hogun checks his long-range skills. It is a good thing Clint taught Tony a thing or two about using a bow and throwing odd objects. That day is all about breathing and finding the right balance of the weapon, and if Tony mentally uses the laws of aerodynamics in conjunction with trajectory physics to hit his target, no one would know it was less about skills.
Day two, Lady Sif takes all her silent rage and aims to knock him down with her staff every single time. Every time she succeeded her laughter rings over his head like an irksome wind chime. It is nice to hear for the first time, but gets old quickly. So when she actually breaks his staff neatly in two, Tony quickly turns it to his advantage. He didn't train with staffs necessarily, but escrima-fighting sticks are a different story. Finally handing her ass to the floor, Tony didn't lord it over her and kindly offers a hand to help her up. After that she seemed to tone down her aim, which of course he's more than grateful to eat less arena dirt.
Day three was weird. It was a one-sided wrestling match if one can even call it that. Volstagg challenge Tony that if he can knock him down with whatever weapon he chooses, he wins. What should have been a simple task turns out not so simple at all. As big and round the guy is, Volstagg didn't lack in speed at all, on the contrary, Tony finds himself missing most of the time. And every time he did, the guy didn't hold back on the heckling at all. Pansy. Weak knees. Starving mead worm, whatever that means. And Lady Anthony was his favorite since Sif took offense to that and knocks Volstagg down for him. He won by default.
Day four, Fandral wanted to do hand to hand combat, naked like the old tradition of yore. Suffice to say that didn't go so well with Thor. Nice try though. What they did end up doing is dueling with swords, and their tongues. No, not like that. Fandral's ambidextrous skill with the sword is equally as deadly as his double entendres. Tony couldn't help laughing at the poor guy wanting to cop a feel. In the end, Thor allows Fandral to shake his hand, after Tony explains is what gentlemen do in Midgard after a fair match.
Then today, at day five, Thor does challenge Tony to hand to hand combat, not naked of course. Knowing how much strength the guy has, Tony knows he's being lenient. Come to think of it, they all were. Even in fighting, Thor's being very careful with him. It is both annoying and embarrassing in a way since it turn more into grappling verses throwing punches and kicks. Thor didn't cop a feel per se, but there is a lot of touching in which Tony eventually collapse on the big guy due to exhaustion. Just like that, the fight ends and Thor is holding him up with both arms around his waist.
Now lying in his nest, Tony drifts to sleep in hopes that the exams are finally over and he can get back to the regular schedule program. Dating shouldn't be this brutal.
