"Whatever you're selling, I'm not buying."
As expected, that non sequitur brought the other tree occupant up short. Bushy eyebrows that look groomed once upon a time rise up briefly. So the guy understands English, that's a plus. Now if only Tony can figure out how the heck does AllSpeak work. His current hypotheses: either it's a linguistic technique or some type of cochlear implant. Given how low tech most of the stuff he's seen compare to the Kree Empire and Nova Corp, the latter doesn't seem likely. He might have to, oh Edison forbid, ask someone to show him. And reasonably, not at this moment.
That rictus of a grin returns twice as wide, making Tony think somehow, he's the butt of an insider's joke or someone's dinner. At least the stranger's teeth aren't sharp and pointy like some of the grey skin aliens he remembers seeing at the Red Cock. Although, Hannibal Lector didn't have sharp teeth either.
Half expecting Green Eyes to speak up already, the lingering silence between them seems to stretch on for miles. Made all the more creepy since tall, dark and pale frowns sharply and begins leaning towards him, thankfully there was a good three feet of space between them. Still, Tony backpedals the last few inches he had left, pressing flush against the tree trunk. He doesn't care if Steve said it's rude, Tony kept his wide-eye stare focus on the other. Not wanting to be surprise in any form that would chance a fall again, not that he's afraid of heights, but the notion of falling, with possible broken bones and being eaten alive by wolves… or other… yeah, no thanks. So the other option of being stuck on a tree with who could verily be the village idiot or a potential psychopath it is. If there is a cricket-like insect somewhere chirping Tony could have sworn he heard Sir Mix-a-Lot instead.
Wait.
"Anaconda?"
"Huh?"
The other's voice is so smooth and pleasant to the ears that it takes Tony a moment for that word and his thoughts to sink in. Mortified, Tony scrambles to find the small player in his pocket, fumbles a tad before he quickly pause and exit Clint's playlist. Darting his eyes back up, Tony finds the stranger has one of the earbuds in his slender yet deceivingly strong hands. An earbud attached to long wires that is current wrap around his soft tender human neck and his heart immediately tanks into his stomach.
"Could you not do that?" Tony squeaks out.
A head tilt and a perfect blank stare in response, has Tony swinging his vote closer to psychopath. Oh why, oh why does he always meet the crazy ones? If it was up to Steve, he would caution placating the stranger with reasoning. However, standard SHIELD procedure (otherwise known as common sense) never did work well for Tony Stark.
Swallowing a few times, Tony clears his throat before firmly stating, "Yeah, that too."
Immediately, frown lines mar the smooth surface of the other's face for a split second before he drops the earbud. Tony nods his thanks warily before he quickly unwinds the cords and shoves the device and all into his pocket. Maybe not a psychopath after all.
A snap of twig caught both of their attentions to the scene down below where the large black wolf is joined by two smaller slate color fun size man eaters. Instead of circling the base of the tree what with the rain finally dissipating, the trio took to huddling on their haunches with their tongue lolling out as if waiting for their meal to come back down. Trepidation sets in when Tony meets Green Eyes worried demeanor and receives a half shrug in condolence. His fellow tree sitter then lowers himself to straddle the large branch as well and crosses both arms over his chest as if for self-comfort.
"Tis not much to hope, but are you with a search party by any chance?"
"What? No!"
Broad shoulders slump forward. Then the other turns his head away, leaving smooth pale skin from cheek to clavicle expose to the fading light that broke through the leafy canopy. Tony's heart did skip a beat then and he quickly averts his eyes.
"Oh…but I thought…I have been stranded here for days. The castle folks did not send you for me?"
Shaking his head in negation despite knowing the other's not even looking his way, Tony scoffs accordingly.
"Heck no! Restricted area, man… er wait, who the fuck are you anyways?"
Tony shuffles back against the trunk once more when the other whips his head back up. With his head held high and arms akimbo, Green Eyes literally looks down his nose at the shorter man.
"I am Loptr, Keeper of the Northern Tower. What manner of dull creature are you to speak to me thus?"
Snooty bastard. Dress the fancy words however one will, that was clearly an insult. Tony straightens himself up and tries his best to look down at the tall fellow while glaring up. He puffs out his own chest and mirrors the other's pose for good measure.
"I am Prince Anthony Stark of Midgard and fucking outrank you, dipshit."
Narrow beady eyes assess him for a full minute before he lifts those long slender fingers to card through his hair. The guy snorts before remarking, "Thou art no Prince. I have seen beggars from Vanaheim dress far more richly than you and with better refinement. Most likely tis a poacher the wargs have caught in the midst."
Tony places a hand over his own heart looking scandalize, "First of all, this is Armani! The finest threads one can buy from my kingdom. Secondly, I don't do poach, not even eggs. Last and certainly not least, I say whatever the fuck I want and what kind of stupid ass gets stuck up a tree in his own backyard anyways?"
Tony watches in fascination when a tick beneath green eyes twitch in irritation even as a faint shade of pink dusted across a pale aristocratic nose. Thin lips then furl up with a snarl, "You insolent cur! If you must know, I was out conducting a survey of the grounds as is my duty around this time of year. That was two days ago when I stumble upon the very same warg that chase your worthless hide! Their kind are not known to wander these restricted woods. Something must have driven them here. As you can see, he and his whelps have been my constant companions since. I suppose being a Prince and all, as you say, no doubt a search party will be sent for you?"
Blinking through most of that lengthy explanation, Tony takes a long couple of minutes before exaggerating a sigh and flops back against the trunk, slumping down altogether. He sniffs then flashes his best lost puppy dog eyes before simpering, "Afraid not. Thor's gone off world to who knows where 'heim leaving little ol' me to pine for his return for who knows how long. I'm not even supposed to be out here: restricted area, remember?"
Tony allow the requisite amount of time expected for the other to digest that bit of info exchange before launching into what he does best: disconcerting people.
"Any hoot, I'm feeling a little peckish. Where's the stash of fruits and nuts that you've squirrel away for the winter? And uh, can you show me where you've been taking a dump too? I might need to go later."
And there it was: the break in character. The return of that wide manic grin says it all. A deep chuckle soon follows and the sound is equally familiar as it is contagious. Tony couldn't help but chortle in return as the pair doubles over with laughter.
Eyes sparkling with mischief once more, the man attempts to comment with much success. "You… you are utterly ridiculous! I…hahaha… I thought my performance was rather good, but yours is impeccable."
After taking a few deep breaths, Tony wipes an imaginary tear away as he sort of manage his giggles enough to respond, "I… ah hehe… thanks! Yours was solid acting, perfect setup even! But I did warn you."
Green Eyes lean forward, his gaze keen and sharp as one bushy brow rise up, "Indeed? I pray you tell me, what douse my ruse so swiftly?"
That was clearly a throw down of wits in an archaic sort of way. Tony leans forward as well and paste on his best shark grin for the media: challenge accepted. "Four reasons. One. You see there?"
Tony points at the distant flickering light that can be seen between a few branches less than half a mile away.
"The clear fact that this is a restricted area and the torchlight is still on in that tower of yours. So clearly two days stuck up here is a big fat lie. Unless you are not alone in that Tower, but if that is the case, someone should have come out to look for you by now. And another thing, you look way too clean and well fed to be out here for that long."
Green Eyes make a show of looking down at his own attire and nods in agreement.
"Very well. I applaud your deductive reasoning. What else?"
Enjoying this way too much, Tony sits back up and rubs his hands together before flashing a 'V' sign.
"Two. A smart cookie like yours truly would have taken the opportunity to escape once the wolfy warg thingy is charging after another meal ticket. You don't look dumb enough to stay and help."
Propping himself up, Green Eyes scoffs back with a roll of his eyes before deadpanning, "Your ill-concealed flattery of yourself lend either of us little credit."
Tony shrugs in return, "In the words of you people: like hearkens like, I guess. So three."
He points down at the wolves, where the big black one is lying down on his front paws and passing a very big yawn. While the other two are taking turns pouncing atop one another.
"As big and scary looking as they are, that picture right there is just too cute. And you're way too chillax around them too, so obviously they're more like your pets really. Am I right?"
Emerald gems soften just a tad when they glance down towards the wolf trio before they harden when they turn onto Tony. "Aye, perhaps. Perhaps not. You are quick to dismiss such dangerous creatures. And we hardly know each other, yet you liken yourself to me so soon? Either you are a simpleton or a babbling baboon who mistakes observations for cunning."
"Hey now! Don't go starting a verbal mudslinging. I can insult like the best of them. You don't hear me criticizing your man on a tree routine. That was lame by the way. I was expecting more along the line of 'Me Tarzan, you Jane'. That would have been cool."
It was as awkward as awkward can get knowing he's eager to continue while the other is looking at him in that way again. Piercing green eyes set in a stony face, not responding all of a sudden. Perhaps he is babbling. Tony can't help it though. It's been almost two weeks since he's had a good row with someone witty enough to trade insults with. So he makes a point to rein it in, just a tad for now.
"So…"
Still no response.
Okay. Awkward cricket chirping silence it is. Tony began twiddling his thumbs just to be cliché.
"Four."
Finally. Although, what the fuck?
"There were four reasons. What is the last?"
Oh, that.
"That you're wrong. I do know you."
And up goes the aristocratic brow.
"You do?"
Tony couldn't help the smug grin on his face spreading from ear to ear. It was the other's turn to look wary.
"I know that you like reading in the library more than you do fighting in the arena. That you have a tendency to rescue injured animals then adopt them. That you rather enjoy a good practical joke than join Thor, Lady Stiff and the three Stooges on a camping trip. So it is only natural to think that this is another one of your jokes. Well, am I right? Prince Loki?"
As if the other's hostility was wash away with the last of the rain drops, his whole demeanor softens to amusement.
"I like you."
Tony may or may not have blush down to his neckline; it is hard to tell considering the fading light.
"My reputation has preceded me. However, this is all happenstance truly. The moment you step through the restricted perimeter, I was alerted of the trespass. Once I recognize who you are, I send Fenrir to divert you here before you run into actual danger. The latter as you have surmise, tis a jest at your expense. Asgard would be doom indeed if Thor is to wed a matching nitwit. Fortunately, he has you in spite of your foolhardy plan to escape your fate."
Leaning forward, Tony splutters in protest, "Woah! That's not true—"
"Is it? Is it?"
Loki raises his chin and pushes forward, forcing Tony to back away.
"I know of you as well. Thor, my mother, my uncle; all of Alfheim has spoke about none else. Thor's Betroth: the perfect example of a blushing docile Omega. Yet, the moment he receives your formal acceptance, you flown the coop—"
"Bull crap!"
Tony will admit and not admit to many things, but when he commits to something or someone, it's no laughing matter.
"Ixnay on the coop-pay. Thor left, not me. This is me getting lost while out on a walk."
Eyes rounding with surprise, Loki straightens up then relaxes back to brace one hand on the branch behind him. His head then drops to one shoulder before a theatrical sigh is expelled.
"Pity. My take was much more dramatic."
Then with his other hand not brace against the branch, Loki even shoos at him with a blasé send off, "Fine. You have my blessing, go forth and be merry."
Tony deadpans in reply, "Gee thanks. Thor and I would have eloped without it."
With sudden interest, Loki bounces back to upright position and a smile on his face, "Truly?"
Rolling his eyes at the other's antics, Tony scoffs back, "Of course not."
"Again, pity," Loki responds wistfully.
Then quick as he appeared, Loki begins to climb down with much ease for a man so tall.
"Hey, wait! Hold up!"
Not wanting to be left behind, Tony follows suit. Clambering down wasn't as bad as climbing up with his tired limbs thankfully. As soon as his feet firmly touch the ground, two growling fur balls, each the size of a full grown timber wolf immediately pounces on him. Tony stops breathing entirely as he stand stock still as four paws lock him into place.
"Oh…um hey Loki…. They don't really bite, right? Baby wolves with sharp teeth and all?"
Tony gave his best puppy dog eyes to help him out, although probably not his best performance with him grimacing as the baby wolves trying (and succeeding) to lick his face and Loki doubling over with laughter.
"I'm glad I can amuse you. Now a little help, please?"
Tony had to endure several broad swipes of wolf tongue before Loki pull himself together long enough to intervene. He suspects the other took longer than necessary.
"Skoll. Hati. Desist."
Amazingly, the fur balls of energy drop their paws and sat back on their haunches. Sagging with relieved tension, Tony shakily side steps his way around them and makes his way towards Loki only to stop short a few feet when he hears the big black adult one rumble with warning.
"Um…"
Loki soothes a hand down the black wolf's mane and the rumbling changes altogether to one of enjoyment.
"Make no threatening movements and you shall be well. Fenrir will lead you back to the path."
Tony resumes his way towards the far side of Loki and his pet wolf and stops short upon hearing that. Alone with the scary big black wolf?
"Not awesome. Can't you do it?"
Turning around to face him, Loki frowns before stating matter-of-factly, "Tis best that you not be seen with one such as myself escorting you back towards the castle."
Tony is getting a neck crank. Damn freakishly tall Asgardians.
"Why?"
Loki's puzzled expression probably match his own, when the other spoke slowly in response as if Tony should know this, "Your virtue would be in question… and examine quite thoroughly were we to be seen publicly."
"Oh."
It finally dawn on Tony, the rules of engagement mention within the blue book translation pages and what Loki is saying.
"You're an Alpha?"
After a moment of stunned silence, Loki states in response, "You cannot tell."
It wasn't a question but Tony nods in return before explaining, "I thought you were a Beta considering how compose you are around me…"
At this point, Loki dips his head briefly before flashing Tony a wry grin, "As you can see, looks can be deceiving."
Stepping backwards, Loki motions for Fenrir to follow.
"Skoll and Hati shall take you back to the path. Have care, little Omega."
When Loki turns around and walks in the direction of the Northern Tower, Tony realize he was being dismissed and calls after him.
"Loki, wait!"
That only pause the second Prince in his steps. Without turning around, Loki looks over his shoulder and inquires instead, "Aye?"
It will have to do.
"It was nice meeting you."
Tony wish he could see the other's face. Luckily, he can still hear the humor radiating from Loki's voice after he retorts with a snort of amusement, "Likewise, however please adhere to the castle walls from now on. You are fortunate that I discover your trespass prior to alerting the guards. Otherwise, the current freedom you clearly so enjoy will be significantly curtailed in the future."
When Loki makes to resume his steps, Tony stalls him again.
"When will I see you again?"
"You wish to?"
Loki sounded surprise, which in turn cause Tony to speak in earnest. See, he always did maintain that he wasn't shy either.
"Yes. Believe me, you are the most fun I had talking with since coming here aside from Mortan."
However, the response he heard back sounded much too formal for Tony's liking.
"I am flattered; however since we are not properly introduced, tis best to allow the traditions to pass before we reconvene."
And just like that, the anomaly call Loki gets suck into the night and Tony is left with two eager wolf cubs with eyes aglow in the darken forest.
"Shit, when the heck did it get so dark?"
