It was weird being back in uniform.
The smell and feel of the fabrics and Kevlar felt foreign, itchy and stiff even. At least the image staring right back at him from the vanity looks somewhat familiar. Though his hair is a half-inch longer and his complexion seems to have improved. Overall, he looks hale and hearty.
Alfheim, a magical place that does wonders for one's health. Not bad for a vacation spot tagline. Maybe Tony should make a deal with King Frey on monopolizing the tourism business from Earth once the news about aliens got out that is. Stark Industries could branch out as Stark Inter-Galactic.
Now there's a thought once he can solve the space travel dilemma. It would only be a matter of when.
With all plans aside though, funny how much he's adapted to Alfheim in a little over two weeks. In the beginning, the full immersion felt like he's cosplaying a character from some RPG. The sight, scent and feel was all too surreal. It was overwhelming at first, but nothing Tony hadn't psyched himself into.
The elves as a whole, has grown on him with their work ethics and wry sense of humor. The majority of them he's met and spoken to, Tony liked. It would be a shame to think that his stay here would only be temporary. After marrying Thor, his new home would be in Asgard. A place he's already forming a strong dislike due to the small sample of the attitude and behavior exhibited by Thor and his pack mates. It didn't bode well for his future. The only silver lining is the hope that he may be wrong since Frigga and Loki call it their home too.
With a wistful sigh, Tony shook his head of such somber thoughts. He's a futurist after all.
While in the process of triple checking all his gear and hidden items, a knock came at the door. It was time to go. Whether it was going to be a trap or not, Tony will have to wait and see. He wouldn't be much value if there weren't at least one attempt on his life. Kind of hard to miss the large target on his back in being the fiancé of the Crown Prince after all. So it's just another repeat chapter from the story of his life.
Upon exiting his room, Tony had not expected to find Tanna dress in anything else except her preferred whitish dress robes. It was silly of him of course, but seeing her decked out in tan leather and cream silk makes an interesting sight. She looks even taller with linen pants and thigh high riding boots. Thinner too, with a fitted thick leather cuirass wrapped around her entire torso. And instead of the one-piece vambraces like the one he's familiar with, hers were made up of large strips of thick leather braided crisscross around her palm, up her forearm and tied just below the elbow. As for her main choice of weapon (aside from whatever was inside her matching satchel): it was too long to be a dagger, too short to be a broad sword and too thin to be a dirk, more like an Italian stiletto. Whatever it was, the craftsmanship was exquisite and beautifully carved with decorations of Elvin script on the guard and ornate scabbard. How Tony ever mistaken her to be a mated elf that was beyond him. Tanna could be a fresh face Legolas barely stepping into adulthood.
After blowing a wolf whistle, Tony couldn't help but comment, "You clean up nice, Tanna. Going somewhere special?"
The rhetorical question was completely lost to her when she answers him quite literally, "Aye, with you to Onollo."
Honestly, he should have expected that Tony thought. Score one for Tanna. After gesturing for them to get a move on, he wastes no time to begin round two of teasing, to pass the time of course.
"I'm sure you've noticed my chosen attire. I'm surprise you haven't scold me to dress appropriately by now, before decking me out with everything including the kitchen sink that is."
"By kitchen sink, do you mean the wash basin? If you have fought with one before, we can certainly ask Cook to borrow it if you like?"
Oh ho!
"Ha. Ha. Very funny."
"I have not spoken in jest, sir."
Tony pause a moment in his steps at her deadpan delivery before he saw that wobbly lip thing she did, definitely her only tell so far. That makes three strikes and he's out.
"Two zingers in a row, Tanna. You're getting better at this."
"I am learning, my Lord," she replies with amusement tingeing her voice before she continues, "However to answer your earlier question, I believe your S.H.I.E.L.D. uniform is more than adequate, sir. Likewise—"
They both gave an absent nod to a passing servant who curtsied before he waves a hand for Tanna to continue.
"Likewise, you are never without the amulets on your wrists. I am secure in the knowledge that you are skilled in your own rights and possess many hidden talents, my Lord."
Huh. He was sidetrack momentarily by the amulet comment. Tony suppose the bluish-white glow from the retractable repulsor gauntlet can be called that since it is a repository for energy of sorts. But then her comment about hidden talents did make him wonder.
Tony narrows his eyes and question a bit cautiously, "Been snooping around have you?"
On the contrary, Tanna did not look guilty or offended. In fact, she was all business as usual when she glances at him before stating, "Not when things are put in their proper place. You easily forget, sir. I clean and tidy after you."
Quite put out by her side jab about his allergy to picking up after himself (something that has Steve, Pepper, and J.A.R.V.I.S. uniting against him frequently), Tony replies in his usual juvenile manner, "I suppose you found my Alpha-size dildo then?"
Given the inappropriateness of the subject matter brought out in the public for anyone passing by to hear, to her credit, Tanna was only a little flustered when she chastise him with no small amount of annoyance, "My Lord, you have no such thing!"
This only encourage him to be more outrageous however, "Oh ho! You haven't found it yet have you? Why you naughty girl."
Seeing as how her beet red face was about to explode, Tony quickly stop his own derailment and went back on track with a laugh, "Okay, okay! I'm only joking. Sheesh! So, um… who did you brought to the party?"
Tony pointedly ignores the roll of her eyes as she took several large breaths to probably cool her rising blood pressure. It was only when her color has return to normal that she could speak with a semblance of normalcy, "After I have confirmed the assignment with the King's steward, I requested and was granted two extra guards. In addition, the good news is that Huilomë, Valto, and two of their personal guards will also join us. They are familiar with escorting trades across the land due to their family business. The bad news is that the twins and two of their personal guards will join us as well. Interestingly, both groups has expressed the need to prove the roads are safe to travel by a foreign dignitary."
Although Tony understood plainly that there is a safety in numbers, it seem to be a bit of an overkill to add ten extra people when it was only Thor previously. So he said as much, "You know, there is like, twelve of us and however more of Captain T'Pol and her pack mates. That's a bit excessive for an entourage even for me. Let's kick the twins off the bench and keep the starter players. By the way, who's Who-lome and Balto? Their name doesn't ring any bells, have I met them before?"
With a huff of exasperation, Tanna hasten her words for they were passing the quad and will be at their appointed destination soon, "We cannot even if you wish to. But aye, Huilomë and Valto are part of your dirty dozen. You have conversed with them about textiles last evening? Team Hufflepuff with the ten points?"
"Oh!" It was that last part which jogs Tony's memory, "You mean Ebony and Ivory?"
Surprised by the description, Tanna absently nods in agreement, "Aye, your pet name does suit them, my Lord. Their size and coloring do complement each other and has cause many of the court ladies to sigh upon seeing them together. They are betroth to one another despite not being of age yet. There is much hope that Valto would be revealed as an Omega."
It was Tony's turn to be surprised, "So arrange marriages is common then?"
"Aye, alliance between noblemen and tradesmen are quite the norm to secure the family legacy."
Despite being politically correct way on the side of democracy, even though his own situation speaks differently, Tony finds this whole vein of topic to be disgustingly fascinating, "Wait, what happens when Valto isn't an Omega?"
"The agreement between families will be annulled and Valto's family will return the bride price."
"Well that sucks."
"Indeed, sir."
They were only a threshold away from the stables and Tony could already see some of the group mounted on horses already. As much as he dislikes the fact that he will be soon on one as well, it wasn't what cause him to delay them both. He really wanted to know the answers to the next series of questions, "What about you Tanna? Do you have someone waiting for you?"
He could see her confusion clearly, "Nay, my Lord?"
"How come?"
Probably having realize that Tony won't budge until he got his answer, Tanna spoke as tersely as possible without sounding rude, "I have been chosen to study under Astrid the Wise and will be expected to take the vow of chastity after my rite of passage."
"You shitting me!"
"I beg your pardon?" Tanna would probably sound more affronted if she isn't so distracted by what is happening on the other side of the wall, "We must go, your Highness. The longer we delay, the more likely nightfall will hit before we return to the castle."
As much as Tony wants to argue because he really wants to know Tanna's story now, it will have to wait until they get back. This whole emissary of Earth ordeal is beginning to feel more and more like he's living out a sci-fi fantasy novel. Heck, the W.S.C. covering up the whole parasitic alien invasion should be called a sci-fi political thriller all on its own.
It was an hour into their trip and Tony already noticed several things odd about their little group.
First of all, Captain T'Pol had spoken not a single word since they began. Not a peep complaining about the additional elves. Not about Tony's awkward mounting of his horse. Not when the twins were snickering at Tony for using a mounting block. Not even when the duo had taken the lead and the Captain had fallen back to the tail end of the party.
Secondly, speaking of horses. Of all the mounts in the King's stable, Captain T'Pol was riding on Ofrid, the warhorse that Thor had tried to prepare for Tony over two weeks ago. Maybe it's different on Alfheim, but on Earth, most snobby equestrians he's met were more than possessive when they even talk about their horseflesh. Or maybe he was being paranoid and Ofrid was just another spare horse otherwise the others would have commented by now.
The third thing, which should have been the second thing but Tony got sidetrack, was that the Captain only had another pack mate with her. That particular dark elf is as grungy and feral as he ever saw one and look as uncomfortable on a horse as Tony was. Perhaps even more so, since the other was crouching over his saddle more than sitting. The dirt-covered man-boy was dressed in only a loose black tunic, capri leggings, and no shoes! That pack mate of hers hadn't spoken a single word either, but communicated by gestures to the Captain only. Come to think of it, what the hell? Tony was a little afraid, okay maybe a lot, of that one. If this was the only protection that Tony had to initially work with, oh thank Maxwell that Tanna had the foresight to over prepare. The trip would have been more tense and eventful, but fuck who was he kidding: no one wants to be alone in a forest with Captain Silent and her freaky minion.
And the fourth thing, which should have been the first thing really, considering how Tony is actually recounting all the weird stuff he's noticed instead of focusing on the possible trap. It was because of this lingering possibility that Tony is abso-fucking-lutely bored out of his wits.
There was only so many trees, shrubberies and babbling brooks he can stand. After experiencing the rapid blur of Thor's travel, he very much prefers that now over this repeated scenery especially when the company he's keeping was worse than Thor. The twins and their annoying voices along with their guards were pacing a bit up ahead, follow by Ebony and Ivory who only had eyes for each other and conversing in hush tones as their own guards flank their side. While Tanna kept pace with him, she was too busy watching her surroundings and looking back every so often as the extra guards she requested trailed behind them.
Not that all this complaining was Tony simply inviting trouble, notice the monologue kept internal. He knew better. So the inventor did the only thing he could think of that may or may not have broken one of the stipulations from the Proclamation to pass the time: he put on his much-more-sophisticated-than-it-looks technology ridden sunglasses which he wasn't suppose to have but smuggled it he did.
And not a moment too soon, when the radar blip red on his H.U.D. interface. Without hesitation, Tony quickly grabs Tanna by the front of her satchel strap and pulls her down with him. The arrow landed somewhere beside him with a thwack and warm blood sprayed across his neck. Tony cringe as he slid down and use his mount to block his body.
It was another moment, before his H.U.D. registered a 360-degree view of two-dozen blips with four Hulk-size ones when all hell broke loose.
