Characters:
Alistair 'Scotland' Kirkland (Ali-bear)
Arthur 'England' Kirkland
Francis 'France' Bonnefoi

Pairings; British Family

Summary; Alistair deals with a pair of drunken idiots

AU; human, university students

Note; italics signify it is written in French


A popular bar in London

Alistair drags Arthur out of the bar, Arthur still slurring random drinking songs. Francis follows after them, barely sober himself but still able to walk. Just about.

"Artie, would you shut the fuck up?!" Alistair whisper-snaps.

"Love you, Aliiiii," Arthur slurs, "I love you!"

"That's nice, now shut up!"

Francis stumbles forwards, grabbing Alistair by the arm before he falls flat on his face. "Ugh…"

"Love you Ali-bear!"

"Please don't call me that," Alistair deadpans.

Francis stumbles again, falling against another student. The student whines, and stumbles off.

"But why Ali-bear? It's so cute!" Arthur slurs, clinging to Alistair.

"Just shut up already! For the love of-" Alistair grabs Francis again, dragging both of them towards their accommodation.

"I called you it all the time when we were widdle," Arthur whines.

"Aye, and I'd throw your dummy at you to shut you up!"

"Too bad he doesn't have one now," Francis grumbles.

"I heard that, you wanker!"

"Ali-bear agrees with me."

"No he doesn't!"

"Yes he does," Alistair cuts in.

Arthur stops in his tracks, and Alistair sighs. He's not in the mood to be told off by a drunk man. Arthur's face screws up, and he makes a long, pitchy whining noise. He sobs, still clinging to Alistair's arm, and sniffles pathetically.

A drunk girl stumbles up, shoving something in Arthur's mouth before her slightly less drunk friends drag her away. Arthur's whining stops instantly.

"No, spit it out!" Alistair says sharply, unhooking himself from Francis to force Arthur's mouth open.

Arthur spits out the lollipop, returning instantly to his loud sobbing.

Alistair sighs, wiping the lollipop on Arthur's shirt and tearing off the wrapper. He shoves it back into Arthur's open mouth, and drags the drunk pair away.


During the World Cup of 2014, pubs in Enfield, London, would give out lollipops to people as they left. They've been doing this since at least 2009, and it has cut down on noise complaints, especially when matches end late at night. Link to an article in the profile.

Random headcannons of the day;
Baby Arthur would chew on things a lot, and in human aus would have had a dummy/pacifier and lots of chewing toys
Arthur can't talk and eat at the same time
Francis forgets how to use English when he's drunk, and in the canon universe will even slip into Latin and Gaulish dialects
Arthur forgets to pretend he doesn't speak French when he's drunk, and in the canon universe may even 'get stuck' speaking French if he's conscious long enough

I own nothing
Arthur and Francis are going to have the worst hangovers
-I own nothing