"What do we need to talk about?"
"Pen."
"What Derek? What do we have to talk about?"
"I know you're mad at me and you have every right to be."
"To be mad at means I have to care about you and I don't."
He looked at her and knew he deserved that. He took a deep breathe.
"I'm sorry about what happen that morning. I'm sorry that I led you to believe something it wasn't."
"Why did you sleep with me that night?"
"Honestly, I don't really know. I guess I was trying to say goodbye because once I got engaged to Savannah, everything would change and I would lose you as my best friend."
"You lost me long before that. So that was your way of telling me goodbye." She laughed. "I loved you for a long time. I guess you never figured that out. Funny everyone else knew but you. When you kissed me that night I foolishly thought that you had finally realized what you felt for me and that we were going to be together."
"I'm going to be honest with you. I only saw you as my best friend. You know the saying "you don't know what you have until you lost it" well that is true. I didn't realize how much you really meant to me until you were gone. I looked for you but I couldn't find you. The only that kept me going was knowing you would on day contact me. I thought about you every day. Wondered what you were doing, how you were doing, if the baby was ok. I thought about how you would look pregnant, beautiful and radiant."
"I was anything but beautiful and radiant. I cried every day because I want you there to share that with me but you weren't and you never would. I was there that day you got married. I sat in the very back and watched you pledge your love to someone else."
"I'm sorry."
"What are you sorry for? I didn't have to sleep with you that night. I chose to. I certainly didn't think I would end up pregnant. Do I regret that night? No because it gave me my son. Was my son conceived in love, only a one sided love. When I found out I was pregnant was the happiest and saddest day of my life. I knew we would never be together and I didn't want my baby not to have a father."
"How do you know that he wasn't conceived in love?"
"You just said you only thought of me as a friend."
"That doesn't mean I didn't or don't love you. I did love you, I do love you." he said. "Look Pen we can sit here all day and go back and forth. What I want to say is, I want more. I need more."
"Need more what?"
"You. D. I want my family. I want us to be a family."
"You want us to be a family as in what?"
"I want you, D, and me to live together as a family. I want you to give me a chance."
"What?"
"A family. I want us to be a family."
"It's a little too late for that."
"No it isn't."
"Derek ne realistic. You're married to Savannah. I'm with Spence."
"Do you love Spence? I mean really love, not love him because he was there for you when I wasn't."
"Yes I do."
He looked at her and knew she was lying. She couldn't look at him in the eye. He always knew when she was lying about something, she could never look at him.
"I'm not happy. I'm not in love with Savannah."
"Really Derek. You married her."
"I married her because she made me."
Pen laughed. "She made you."
"I'm serious. I hadn't told her you were pregnant. I didn't want her to know. She found out and told me there was no way I was going to humiliate her weeks before the wedding. By that time I was hoping she would call off the wedding but she didn't. So I went through with it. In hindsight I probably shouldn't have done it but I thought I wouldn't see you again."
"Why would you think that?" she said but then shook her head. "It doesn't matter. Look Derek, I want us to put this all behind us and be friends for our son. We're always going to be in each other's lives so we need to be friends. All I ask is that when you have children with Savannah you don't push D to the side or forget about him."
"I would never do that, you know I wouldn't do that."
"NO Derek I don't. I don't know the Derek you are now."
"I'm going to divorce Savannah."
"Why?"
"Because I don't love her. Are you listening to anything I'm telling you?" he shouted.
"Don't shout at me. I hear everything you're saying but don't think that by divorcing her, I'm going to run to you. That isn't going to happen. You broke my heart and shattered it into little pieces. It took me a long time to get over you and I have. Don't divorce her because of me. Don't use me as an excuse."
"I don't want to be with her. I want to be with you. I love you."
She looked at Derek and a tear slid down her cheeks. The words she longed to hear came a little too late.
"Listen to me Derek. That ship has sailed. We're meant to be friends. Friends who raise a son together."
"I don't want that. I don't D to be shuffled between the houses. He should have both his parents under the same roof."
"I'm sorry Derek. That's something I would like too but the reality is that isn't going to happen. "
"I'm going to prove to you that I love you. That I want to be with you. I'll divorce Savannah and show you that I want you. I'll prove my love for you."
"If you want to stay, you can sleep in D's room. I'm going to my room to sleep. Come and get me when he wakes up." she said getting up. "And Derek, I gave you a chance to talk but I don't want to talk about this again."
She left Derek standing in the kitchen while she went to her room before he could see the tears. She turned the monitor on and laid on the bed. Her phone rang in her pocket and she pulled it out and saw it was Spence. She hit ignore and threw the phone down on the bed. She couldn't talk to anyone right now. She was so tired she fell asleep with tears on her face.
She laid on the bed and listened to Derek trying to calm down D. She had woken up to his crying and was about to get up when she heard Derek. So she laid there and listened.
"Hey now little man, why all the fuss?" he said softly. "Are your ears still bothering you? Well that nasty medicine I just gave you will make it all better."
D cooed back. "We need to be quiet. Your mommy is tired and she needs to sleep. I know you're probably hungry so let's go the kitchen and get a bottle."
She heard the door open and the footsteps down the hall. She waited and a few minutes later she heard the door open again. The noise of the rocker came through.
"I hurt your mommy and I'm so sorry. I will make it up to her. I promise." He whispered. "I'm going to make you a promise D, I will do everything I can to make a family the way we should have been from beginning. I'll fix everything or die trying."
Pen sobbed when she heard D coo at his dad as if he was answering. She heard the rocker stop and quickly went to the bathroom. She ran a hand towel across her face. Derek didn't need to see her tears. Derek knocked on the door as she came out of the bathroom. She went to the door and opened it.
"D wants to see his mommy."
Pen smiled. "Come here big boy. Are you feeling better?"
D cooed at her while trying to reach for her hair. She giggled and that made D coo more.
"Has he ate?"
"I just finished giving him a bottle."
"Let's go see if you feel like playing."
In the living room she went to D's toy and brought out his play gym. She placed D on the mat and he soon began trying to reach for toys hanging above.
"He's really smart for his age."
"He gets that from you Pen."
"I think he gets that from the both of us." She said watching him play. "When is Fran coming for a visit?"
"She should be here within the next two weeks. She said she had a surprise for us."
"Who's us?"
"Don't know. That was all she said,"
Pen tried to think of what it could be but pushed the thought out of her head. Derek stayed until Reid got home and then left.
Derek walked in the door and was grateful that Savannah wasn't home. He went to his room and grabbed a suitcase and packed what he could. He was in and out in less than thirty minutes. He drove to a hotel checked in and went to grab a bite to eat. He sat in a booth and thought about everything he needed to do and what to do first. He talked to his mom and she agreed with everything he said. She promised to be down by the following weekend. He went back to the hotel room to get some much needed rest. He made a quick call to check on D but Pen told he seemed to be doing ok. He closed his eyes, finally with a plan in place and a clear head.
Savannah arrived home in a bad mood and it only got worse when she saw Derek wasn't home. She went to the kitchen and poured a glass of wine. She turned to look at the dining table and noticed something sitting there, something that didn't belong there. She went closer and the closer she got the wider her eyes got. She picked the piece of gold and held it up to the light. She clenched it in her hand and ran up the stairs. The first thing she notice was his drawers not shut all the way. Clothes were missing. She ran to the closet and let out a scream when she saw some of his clothes were gone. She unclenched her hand and stared at the ring.
Reid had just barely turned off the lights and locked the door when the banging began. He looked out the side window and groaned. He knew if he wanted to sleep he was going to have to answer. He didn't even get to open the door all the way when he was pushed by the door.
"Where is he?'
"Where's who?"
"Derek, my husband? I know he's here."
"I don't know what you are talking about but Derek isn't here."
Pen heard the ruckus and went to see what it was. As she got closer to the foyer she heard voices and wondered what she was doing there.
"What the hell are you doing in my house?"
"Where's my husband?"
"How the hell should I know? I'm not his babysitter."
"I'm sure you know, in fact I suspect you're the reason for this." She held out her hand. "Do you know why my husband left this for me on our dining room table?"
Pen looked at the ring and then at her. "Maybe because he doesn't want to be married to your ass anymore. Get out of my house or I will call the police."
