Previously
I so badly wanted to accept, but then I got that feeling, like I was being cornered, like there wasn't enough air and I was struggling to breathe and I rushed out the words without thinking "I'll take a rain check on that. I have a takedown tonight, and I really need to go." I rushed to my car before I said or did anything stupid.
As I drove away I looked into my rear-view mirror and thought at least for once I'm not the one left standing.
Carlos POV
I am a coward. I've thought of nothing but Stephanie since I've met her and when I finally had the chance to spend an evening with her I ran away like a fright train. I have a hard time letting people close to me emotionally, and having dinner with her parents without a single date had me reeling back. I had the perfect opportunity which could have led to her bed tonight and maybe even a morning after. With Stephanie I could see a future together and that's what scared me the most.
My eyes flicked to the cameras as I saw Hector exiting the parking lot, no doubt headed for her hotel. I know that Hector's gay, but my babe could probably turn a gay man straight if she put her mind to it. I think I need to leave Trenton for a while and get my head straightened out. New York sounds amazing right now; I need my anonymity and NYC is the perfect place for that.
Stephanie POV – 3 weeks later
My mind kept on going back to how amazingly Carlos handled my parents. I wouldn't admit to missing him, but I did feel something when instead of him, one of his men – Zero? – came in to install equipment in my new home, was it disappointment? Maybe I shouldn't have introduced him to my parents so soon; I mean we haven't even been on a proper date yet. But him disappearing for three weeks proved one thing – he isn't reliable. I don't need another unhealthy relationship in my life; I've had enough of those already.
I motioned the sofa delivery guys to place the couch against the wall and went about unpacking my kitchen utensils. I need to get some fresh air before I erupt from all the stress. The delivery for the clothes of Michelle were three days late, which meant that I had to be on the phone constantly, add to that the finalizing papers for the house and on top of that my mother insisting I bring that 'nice boy Carlos' to dinner again and I was ready to jump ship.
I dialled a number I now know by heart "Mary Lou, want to go out tonight? I need some air. You figure out the details I just don't want to be alone with my thoughts right now or I'm afraid I'll move continents and ship to some anonymous Island next to Africa"
"Calm down Steph, I'll get you out, just hang in there. I'll pick you up at 7, K? Bye" with that she hung up. I need to go shop…
"Hey Lula, are you up for some retail therapy?"
"Hey white girl, you got a hot date?"
"Yeah, Mary Lou." I sighed. I am pathetic
"You need to get laid." She grumbled. She's right.
"I'm working on it."
"Huh, I'll pick you up in ten." She hung up on me. Sigh. I've been doing a lot of that lately.
XXOXXXOXX
"So you're telling me that first you ditched him, then you ditched him again, then you guys had dinner with your parents and then he diched you." Mary Lou summarised.
"Ugh, when you put it that way – "
"There's no other way to put it, you both have commitment issues." She nodded sagely
"Hey! How am I the one with issues here? I asked him over to my place, that's not commitment issues."
"You knew he was going to run because he was overwhelmed, and subconsciously you took advantage of that." Mary Lou explained patiently.
"Why are you here again?" I downed a shot of vodka.
"You invited me."
"I want to have fun tonight, not think about how non-existent my love life is. Men are idiots did you know that? They want relationships, then they don't, but they also don't want you to have one because they can't and it's this whole messed up process. I think I might try being lesbian, women are waaaaay more intelligent than men."
"How many vodka shots have you had?"
"Five, going on six." The bartender told her helpfully as I downed the sixth one.
"I think we need to get you home now." She said as she helped me up
"Not until I find an attractive woman who wants to date me. I don't need a man, I need a woman, let's go to a lesbian club."
"Yeah let's go." She agreed. That was easy…
Somehow we ended up home, oh she's sooo sneaky. "Mary Lou, you're like a spy, you're soo sneaky." I told her. Somehow she wasn't impressed by my compliment to her amazing spy skills. She's like James Bond sometimes all sneaky and silent. Ooh I know someone else who's all sneaky and silent, Carlos, but he's more like batman all dark and dangerous. I shivered as I remembered that dangerous glint in his eyes when he took me to his home, all out of control and wild. I fell asleep thinking about all the dangerous things he could do to me. Needless to say, I had some nice dreams.
XXOXXXOXX
Carlos POV
I came back from NY two days ago and my condition is no better than it was before. It's worse now, I cannot go a minute without thinking about her and it's driving me insane. I broke into her new house last night to watch her sleep. The moment I saw her, it felt as though I could finally breathe. It scares how much she can affect me even though we haven't been together, I can't even imagine what it would be like if we were together… Maybe this feeling would ease? Or would it become stronger? I'm not sure if I want to find out, but since Stephanie's entered my life all my choices all my rules seem to be null, it's her way or the highway, actually it's just her way. To a control freak like me that should feel like a death sentence, but somehow giving up my legendary control for her makes me feel happy, like I could jump to the moon for her if she asked.
I try to stay away from her, but try as I might there is a gravitational pull to her, and like a moth to flame, I cannot resist her.
XXOXXXOXX
Stephanie POV
Things have finally settled down, so I have a bit more free time. Hector and Cal seem to have hit it off; they had their first date a week ago and have been inseparable ever since. I just love seeing Hector happy.
I was working though some paperwork when there was a knock on my office door. Through the glass I could see that it was Carlos. Sigh, I'm so over this back and forth. I stood up and opened the door.
"Stephanie." He held up the bouquet of flowers, peonies and gold orchids. Golden orchids are my favourite flowers, but he doesn't need to know that.
"Thank you. What are they for?"
"I was hoping we could have dinner together tonight." He says in a timid tone. I motion him to the guest chair.
"Look Carlos, I'm not into playing mind games right now so I will make it clear – I am not looking for long term relationships right now, and I'm not looking for one night stands either. I just want something stable and comfortable. I don't know if I ever want to get married again, and babies are not happening anytime in the near future. If you still want a date, than I will happily go out with you as long as you understand the terms." I maintained eye contact with him throughout my speech; he seemed shocked at first but then regained his composure.
"I understand and agree with your terms. I don't know if I want marriage in my near future either and I'm in no hurry for children, my lifestyle is too dangerous for that. I want you to understand that dating me can have consequences, mainly to your safety. There are bad people in this world who would like nothing more than to see me hurt and hurting people close to me is the best way to do that. There will be times when you will need security, or won't be able to leave the building because of a threat." He looked at me waiting for my response.
"I am fine with that as long as you update me on anything that could be a threat to me. If you explain the problem to me I will listen to you, but if you try to force your macho bullshit on me I will leave."
"So we have a date." He smiled
"Yes we have a date." I smiled back
XXOXXXOXX
I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review, they make me happy, and my happiness is directly proportional to the amount of updates you get… sorry about the wording I've been doing my math assignment all day.
Once again this is the result of me procrastinating while I have a ton of other things I should be doing right now. Please, please, please review
