"Izzy, I fucked up." Clary confessed, head in her hands. "I let Sebastian get into my head. I let him make me think…I let him play me. Again." She shook her head at herself? How could she not have learned?
"I honest to God considered breaking up with Jace," Clary said, obviously ashamed. Izzy refrained from saying she'd always thought that was Sebastian's endgame. It was true, but she didn't think Clary would appreciate it; she didn't think this was the time for 'I told you so', either.
"I think it's because things with Sebastian started the same way, you know, perfect and happy. They're surprisingly alike in some ways and then Sebastian started making what seemed like off-handed comments and I started thinking 'what if Sebastian sees it because he did it, and I'm falling for tricks again'? And I was falling for tricks. Sebastian's."
"What apology could I possibly give Jace that would make up for me thinking such an awful thing?"
"One that starts with I'm sorry and ends with I love you."
CLACECLACECLACECLACE
Jace was somewhere between frantic and morose, and sometimes a bit of both. Clary hadn't spoken to him in three days and he had no idea what he'd done wrong. He didn't want to start throwing out random accusations, at the risk that he'd correctly guess at whatever it was she was angry about and make it worse. When she came up to him at school he couldn't have been more relieved. Now, standing across from her in her living room, and they the only two home, he'd finally found out what had happened and fix it.
"I'm sorry, Jace. You did nothing wrong, I just want to clear that part up. I doubted you. I let him fool me again. I let him manipulate me. I let him make me think you were controlling. I mean, he made me see it and I…I knew better and I still…I saw something that wasn't there at a few well-placed words." Her eyes teared up. "I'm so sorry, Jace. I'm an idiot, but I love you. I love you more than anything and I know I fucked up but I…" She looked at him, tears rolling down her face, "I love you."
He crossed the distance between them in two strides, took her face in his hands and kissed her. She relished in it, knowing it had been far too long since she'd kissed the man she was in love with, her fingers finding purchase in his belt loops, hands resting on his hips.
"I love you, too," he pulled away to whisper before quickly reclaiming her lips, one hand sliding around to the back of her head, his fingers threading in her curls. He made to slow the kiss, giving her a few pecks and resting their foreheads together
"Show me?" She asked softly.
"Ris. Do you know what you're asking?"
"Yeah." Not moving away, she began to unbutton his shirt.
"Rissa." He grabbed her hands gently, stilling them. "You were contemplating breaking up with me 72 hours ago. Are you sure…"
Her eyebrows furrowed and she looked hurt for a moment. "Don't…" she swallowed hard, "don't you want me?"
"Of course I do," Jace said, "of fucking course I do, love. But I want you to give yourself to me like that when and only when you're ready and because you want to. Not because you're sorry."
"You think I'm trying to give you my virginity as an apology?"
His silence was answer enough.
"Jace, I am sorry. And this is sort of related to that but it's not because of…no wait, I'm not saying this right." She breathed deeply. "I love you. I trust you. I want you. And I want to show you that."
"Baby, I'm just not sure…"
"Stop making excuses." She interrupted. "I want to be with you like that. I want everything with you, alright? So, if that's not what you want then just say it."
"Rissa it has nothing to do…"
"Do you want me? Just answer."
"Yes, Ris, I do, I swear."
"And I want you. Okay?"
"Okay," he conceded. "Okay, if you're absolutely certain. I just don't want you to regret it."
"Just kiss me. And then whatever happens happens. How about that?"
Despite knowing that she had made up her mind and that kissing her was the same fucking thing as agreeing, this felt a lot better; it made him feel less like she felt as if she had to.
And with that in mind, he kissed her.
SO LEMONY. IF YOU'RE NOT ABOUT LEMONS SKIP THIS PART BECAUSE JESUS CHRIST SO LEMON.
She returned his kiss with vigor, sliding his shirt off his shoulders.
"Luke and Jocelyn?" He asked between feverish kisses.
"Out of the city," she answered breathlessly as he backed her into a wall, his body flush against hers. Satisfied with her answer he separated himself from her for a moment and helped her out of her shirt and bra. He bent to suck on her neck but the angle was uncomfortable. He growled in frustration and simply picked her up. Automatically her legs wrapped themselves around his waist and he pushed against her, his arousal pressing firmly into her center. In response, she tugged on his hair. He stepped away from the wall, spinning to lay her on the bed. He climbed over top of her and while his fingers trailed down her torso, his lips were already busy with her nipples. She took her own jeans off and his finger slid inside her, her back arching off the bed, fists clenching the sheets.
He added a second finger, "tell me what you want, baby." He spoke softly.
"I want you to fuck me." She replied, her voice at the same volume. His jeans and boxers were instantly gone and tossed sideways and he lined himself up. Her arms wrapped around him as he began to push in. He met resistance and looked her in the eyes.
"I'm sorry, baby."
"It's okay," she reassured him, wrapping her legs around his waist to encourage him. He thrusted once and instantly her nails dug into his back, an automatic response to the pain. Jace could tell when the pain started to fade as her fingers relaxed and her tense muscles loosened.
She smiled at him, "I think I'm good." He nodded beginning to move slowly, biting his lip when her hips moved to meet his. Their pace sped and the air filled with moans. He hit a spot inside her that elicited an 'Oh, Jesus' and caused her to arch her back, something he loved to see her do. He wrapped one arm around her waist, leaning more heavily on his right hand and holding her hips higher, he thrusted harder. She began whispering his name, growing in volume until she screamed it, her walls tightening around him, the feeling forcing him to drop back down. He hooked one of her legs around his waist and rolled them so she was on top. His hands found her hips and hers found his chest as she started to ride him slowly. He enjoyed the sensation. Knowing he was close, he resolved to bring her to orgasm at least once more. He moved one hand to her back and pushed lightly so she leant over him. He continued until their chests touched. One hand pressed against her lower back and the other her shoulder blades. He slammed into her, fast and hard. She whined in frustration when she found she couldn't move her own hips due to how he held her but enjoyed it nonetheless. He found that spot again, his pace picking up even more. "Fuck!" She screamed, clenching him tightly as he let a string of curse words himself, his own orgasm hitting.
"God, I love you." He said, softer than a prayer, "and I'll love you until I die and if there's a life after that I'll love you then."
She opened her mouth to return the sentiment but somebody rang the doorbell.
"Expecting company?" Jace asked.
"Nope," she said grabbing his sweatshirt, the big fuzzy one which read Wayland on the back, sliding it over her head and then donning a pair of panties she grabbed from the top drawer hurriedly.
"Going to answer the door like that?" He asked her retreating back.
"It's probably just Si or Izzy." She shrugged. "Why? You complaining?" She volleyed with a knowing grin.
She swung open the door, her happy mood evaporating and suddenly she was very conscious that she was only in Jace's sweatshirt; and that she could not possibly pretend it wasn't Jace's sweatshirt.
Clary could not think of a worse person to be at the door, except perhaps her long-lost father.
"Sebastian. You tried to manipulate me. We're no longer friends." She made to shut the door but he stuck his foot in.
"It's about Valentine!"
She opened the door inviting him in. "I'll be right back," she went upstairs in search of some yoga pants before returning with a now-dressed Jace in-tow.
"Valentine is out of prison and then this happened: My parents asked why they hadn't seen you around." He began, "I explained the situation very vaguely: We just weren't working, you developed feelings for someone else, we didn't treat each other the way we should have, and yes I was hurt but understood. Valentine interpreted that his own way. He thinks he needs to get back at you on my behalf or something. He thinks he'll get back in my good graces."
"Why should we believe you?" Jace scoffed. "You don't care about Clary."
"Yes. I do."
"No. You don't."
Sebastian ignored him, focusing on Clary. "Please be careful. You know why he was incarcerated. He hasn't learned his lesson, Clary. Please, please, don't find yourself alone.
"Don't act concerned." Jace sneered, rising to his feet.
Sebastian rose to his feet, too, before speaking a sentence that would leave the room ringing with silence. "Look, I have no idea how to love somebody right but don't EVER take that to mean that I don't love her!"
Seconds later, the front door slammed.
Whew, okay. That's the end of There For You. The first chapter of the sequel will be up by the twentieth, hopefully, and it will be called By Your Side. It will also be M. Trigger warnings for Rape, PTSD, Attempted suicide. Do NOT take the warnings lightly.
